Umbrellas!
The White Stripes.
Human geography. All of it.
People who will use only the middle lane when on motorways. Them and fascists.A little unfair to fascists, I feel, to put them in the same category as those cunts. Fascists are, at least, honest about what they hope to achieve from their unpleasant behaviour (apart from the incompetent ones, who can't remember why, what or whom; but even they are not as bad as persistent middle-laners).
Human geography. All of it.
This statement is almost enough to make up for you doing geography.
Human geography. All of it.
This statement is almost enough to make up for you doing geography.
And what, pray, is wrong with human geography?
5) Brought instead of bought and vice-versa.
walk that extra 5 paces once in a while
Can I add stroppy twats who insist on parking in a certain spot (e.g: outside their house, office, etc) and get massively wound-up when somebody else takes their space once in a blue moon.
Fucking people playing musicat the craganywhere on their micro wogbox/mobile fucking phones.
Bangin choonz
Those disabled parking spots at the Roaches and Curbar when every other space in a three mile radius is in use, yet those spaces still remain empty. What are they for and why do they ned to be so close to the gate?
Hows about taxi drivers who think that the big red triangle button on the dashboard turns on the "i'm parking on double yellows lines on a junction" lights.
Small garlic - Why do UK supermarkets think we can't handle the big ones the rest of the world/asian grocers purvey??
People who kindly pick up dog poo, but then hang it onto a gate or barbed wire fence for all to see. The logic baffles me!
tall people who claim to be short.
tall people who claim to be short.
how does that work?
"I might appear to be 6ft 3, but actually it's an optical illusion and I am in fact shorter than you"?
tall people who claim to be short.
how does that work?
"I might appear to be 6ft 3, but actually it's an optical illusion and I am in fact shorter than you"?
Stupid people who claim to be clever.
People who claim to be green and enviro-friendly then have loads of kids.
Fat people who claim to be anything other than permanently hungry.
:lol: VHEMT (http://www.vhemt.org/)Awesome! sign me up :)
Why is there no puke symbol?
People who act really right-on then snort coke, one of the most un-pc things you can do.
:lol: And then they look more disgusting anyway because there's flab pouring out at every opportunity in the clothing...
People who claim to be green and enviro-friendly then have loads of kids.
:lol: VHEMT (http://www.vhemt.org/)
:lol: And then they look more disgusting anyway because there's flab pouring out at every opportunity in the clothing...
Muffin tops! Not good, especially when combined with tattoos on hanging over bits.
Can Cocktalk go in please.
http://ukbouldering.com/board/index.php/topic,8496.msg129899.html#new
Can Cocktalk go in please.
http://ukbouldering.com/board/index.php/topic,8496.msg129899.html#new
Best not.
They would be on here then. Keep the riff raff out, what?!
The Folly, you were atop of it?
tall people who claim to be short.how does that work?
"I might appear to be 6ft 3, but actually it's an optical illusion and I am in fact shorter than you"?
The Folly, you were atop of it?
Mmm, no. Three initials. First one L, last D.
#2 Beards.
#1 Weddings.
Green. Though I don't mind if you reserve the right . . .
Last night, I gave up smoking pot; and stared ruefully, nay bitterly, at my running pumps as I packed away my handblown pipe w/shotgun hole *sob* away for ever .............. aaargggghhhh .................. *sob*.
Last night, I gave up smoking pot; and stared ruefully, nay bitterly, at my running pumps as I packed away my handblown pipe w/shotgun hole *sob* away for ever .............. aaargggghhhh .................. *sob*."Packed away" doesn't sound very final to me, young man. It implies the possibility of unpacking. Burning bridges can be a very effective way of reducing the chances of returning to where you have come from.
. . . the possibility of unpacking . . . . . . Burning bridges . . . . . . Commitment?
I couldn't grow a beard if my life depended on it anyway; most blokes get a 5 o' clock shadow, I get a Wednesday shadow.
Oh and those silly tattoos that women have on their haunches, usually something vaguely spikey, truly these are bloody awful. Plus, all celtic/ethnic tattoos (with the exception of Mauri facials).
Tramp Stamps - fitting they are on braying slags dripping doner grease but heartbreaking on genuine babes.
Tattoos - Russian gangster-style RE: Eastern Promises film / Mauris = fine. But general Celt fuckmess badboy in a suped-up Honda Civic = trash. Yes, I've been needled.
Tramp Stamps - fitting they are on braying slags dripping doner grease but heartbreaking on genuine babes.
Tattoos - Russian gangster-style RE: Eastern Promises film / Mauris = fine. But general Celt fuckmess badboy in a suped-up Honda Civic = trash. Yes, I've been needled.
Seconded.
I believe that the trousers half down thing originally meant - I have a big, hard brother who'll beat your face in if you mess with me....look how big he is coz his old jeans barely fit me.
Tramp Stamps - fitting they are on braying slags dripping doner grease but heartbreaking on genuine babes.
Tattoos - Russian gangster-style RE: Eastern Promises film / Mauris = fine. But general Celt fuckmess badboy in a suped-up Honda Civic = trash. Yes, I've been needled.
Surely you are now into the realms of personal preference so unless you put personal preference itself into room 101 it's either all tatts or none?
And you can put the whole lot in for me.
I believe that the trousers half down thing originally meant - I have a big, hard brother who'll beat your face in if you mess with me....look how big he is coz his old jeans barely fit me.
Can we put all hip hop fashion in too then please?
I thought it was something to do with not being allowed a belt in jail so your trousers were always hanging low.
i.e. I'm dead cool as I've done time.
I'm not 100% down on hip hop fashion though.
I'm putting Norton in for not being able to use the quote bbcode ;)
I thought it was something to do with not being allowed a belt in jail so your trousers were always hanging low.
Word
Sagging (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sagging_(fashion)) should be in 101 whatever its origins are
it's either all tatts or none.
or a ponytailwhy grow your hair if you are gonna tie it up all the time.
why grow your hair if you are gonna tie it up all the time.
you willingly look like a tart just to save money. :o
do you have any tatts slack ? :whistle:
That Australian rising inflection
2. Put a sweet little kiss at the end of the message x
That Australian rising inflection needs to go in as a seperate entry?! Every sentence sounding like a question?! It's really fucking annoying?!
To be fair I don't mind Aussie doing it, but bloody students should stop it.
The collected works of Hugh Grant
Midges. Little cunt creatures. Impossible to devise something that could possibly annoy more.
Midges. Little cunt creatures. Impossible to devise something that could possibly annoy more.
Midges. Little cunt creatures. Impossible to devise something that could possibly annoy more.
Another vote for these fuckers. After a visit to Plantation last year I ended up with over 130 bites when I forgot to pack the repellent. Bastards.
-rant, but with a point-
blah, blah ...
-rant over-
Wankers who don't indicate
Twats who don't acknowledge / thank you when you give them a gap when driving / holding a door open etc. Find this increases proportionally to either a) cost of car or b) their age.
People who think tab ends and/or chuddy don't count as litter.
Pedestrians who don't bother to look when you're turning off a main road onto a side road.
If you were to hit a couple then surely that just natural selection at work ?
Cold houses :(
Not that I bothered explaining that to the bloke chasing me with a pair of pliars that time in London.Was he planning on pinching you to death?
and I had you down as a Austin Reed or Liberty type of gentleman..
suits you sir.....
i'm more of a paul smith man really. ;)
Do feel some how superior to all those sad fucks?
You bet I do.
So, retail malls must stay OUT I say, to keep all the imagineless twats of society at bay, so we get to fulfil our lives with like minded folk with no exposure to such persons.
no one else has satisfied myself as well as myself.
The Folly, you were atop of it?
Mmm, no. Three initials. First one L, last D.
Wine of the FITOU or MERLOT varieties.
Fuck off wine snob ;)
But it costs 30, 000 (of what?) :o I know the works is doing well, but, that well?!
This is a tad out of my range, probably go for a 1931 do Noval vintage port if I had that wedge to lash. . .
Either way your argument is not convincing enough that I should enter 101 myself. Who would be the Nazi here if I did?
30,000 of them there squids I believe, but that's for a whole case ;)
Well Sam's got his Evo, Percy has his weird-carbon-fibre-bike-without-brakes, I've got my very expensive wine habit :alky:
Ok not that expensive but I am getting there
People who spell people's names wrong, houdini... :spank:
write 5 times now, Graeme...
Graeme Graeme Graeme Graeme Graeme Graeme
Bizarrely enough Sloper has only this evening suggested a wine session which could result in my liquid assets being depleted.
On a similar theme, people who wear paclites to walk their dogs around parks. Overkill? Well, they aren't trekking in Patafuckingonia.
Why would I want anything more than what it does?Maybe the person with the paclite walking the dog actually does need it for other things and just wears it when walking the dog too? Maybe they climb harder than you?
Houdini why did you stop them, I was enjoying that little argument?
Houdini why did you stop them, I was enjoying that little argument?You'll need to come up with some strong reasons to exterminate the canine kingdom.
People that moan about their powerball being shafted but don't bother to get a new one.Me too.
People that eat with their mouths open near you in the canteen.
I can't believe you remembered that!!!
What about poodles? The show ones, not the working ones. What's the point there?
I'm having a muddle season and I'm struggling to think of someone to fight (other than the obvious); I pass on this threads' virginity to a hungrier, more serendipitous hater.
I pass on this threads' virginity to a hungrier, more serendipitous hater.
Whilst I agree with you Dolly about cats we need to be careful cos' Bubba owns cats.
Any band with "The" preceding their name (Except The Orb, The Panacea, The Sect and The Justified Ancients of Mumu. Others will be considered on request)
Pendulum
TC
Clipz
Any band with "The" preceding their name (Except The Orb, The Panacea, The Sect and The Justified Ancients of Mumu. Others will be considered on request)
I'm also a fan of Hollyoaks, I don't know why, it's like an addiction
Fat guys bouldering with their shirts off when it's freezing cold - why?
chicks who think that climbing topless is liberating for women
Anyone who drives anything less that 10mph over the speed limit.
I had to google these and I still don't know who/what TC is. I'm guessing you've not got a random hatred for Thermocouples?
Can we keep the Stones out too please?
Any band with "The" preceding their name (Except The Orb, The Panacea, The Sect and The Justified Ancients of Mumu. Others will be considered on request)
Any band that has to advertise their album on telly
Any dance album that advertises "classic tunes" on the telly
skinny jeans (I remember when baggy was all the rage!)
my chemical bollocks
Any band with "The" preceding their name (Except The Orb, The Panacea, The Sect and The Justified Ancients of Mumu. Others will be considered on request)
</rant>
. . . shaved that dog's behind so you don't get brown stains on it's luscious coat etc.. . . .
Feeble pre climbing excuses!
. . . my disapproval of weak climbers who get away with having strong fingers.
And to go with that, a side order of people who complain about being weak, but don't put in the required training to change the situation.
Whilst I don't want to send them to 101, I would like to register my disapproval of weak climbers who get away with having strong fingers.
I would like to send akrasia to 101, particularly my own. I know what to do, I want to do it, yet I don't do it. Akrasia sucks.
. . . my disapproval of weak climbers who get away with having strong fingers.
I've a meeting w/the ghost of Klaus Barbie this afternoon and must shave - I'm busy, would someone care to deal w/this one in my stead?
Jasper? ;)
More from UKB (http://ukbouldering.com/board/index.php/topic,8535.0.html)
Whilst on the subject of people going solo: Ian Brown needs sending there.Warte mal, GCW!
Are you telling me that Browns' F_E_A_R is a bad track? I shall tell you otherwise. And others, back me up JB!
All fatties shall be molten down to provide candle wax to illuminate the scene of their just demise.
*evil Hooded Claw-esque laughter*
Looks like the government are making their usual half-arsed attempts to tackle obesity problems (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/ministers-unveil-%a3400-million-plan-to-shout-at-fat-people-20080124676/) :P
People who can't park between the lines. Apparently they're going extinct (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/people-who-know-how-to-f%2acking-park-on-brink-of-extinction-20070912397/).
Just look at that foul, scurrilous plague carrying bastard of a rodent!Awww! that rat is kinda cute!
Awww! that rat is kinda cute!
Get your own back, I insist, you'll have to buy me a car 1st mind :lol:
Personaly I prefer 2-wheels but that Königsegg CCX is out-of-this-world. ... Did a spoiler ever get fitted?
Spoilers on road cars aren't all bollocks - ok, most are just for fashion but some are there for aerodynamic/fuel consumption reasons and some, like on some 911s do actually provide some downforce at high speeds.
ebay listings that say "L@@K" in the title.
Fraid you need a decent ISP, I've never had any trouble with mine.
That fucking overweight cooking w/ fat obsessed heffer, what's her name? The half-fit one? The one that would be fuckable if she wasn't fat? The one who snips up spring onions w/ scissors as she's too busy taking it up the ass Nigella Lawson that's the one.
Fucking get in! Trout!
Thought some of you might have dug the chubby ladies from the Renaissance era look a la partridge.
Gordon Ramsay - A fine businessman, but needs taking down a peg or 8.
Bubba's picture is Dita von Teese (ex von Marilyn Manson)
seems to be on sky3 quite a bit. fuckin dynamite is floydGordon Ramsay - A fine businessman, but needs taking down a peg or 8.My favourite chef of all time is Floyd. I miss him on our screens, I can't believe they trashed him. Really great TV.
Cheese. I fucking hate cheese. its just a cross between lard, plastic and fucking milk thats gone bad. complete shit.We can't throw the whole cheese spectrum into 101. how about a token gesture, the very worst kind of cheese, representing all that's bad with cheese. the devil of cheeses.
its just a cross between lard, plastic and fucking milk that's gone bad. complete shit.
No way can cheese be destined for Room 101.
Dave, stop buying CheeseStrings, Edam and those stupid little things in a red coating. Buy proper cheeses, and eat them with wholemeal crackers and apintglass of port.
Chocolate Flapjack!
Chocolate Flapjack!
You are wrong. Meet me down the Works for a punch up to settle this.
Outraged, from Sheffield
( ;))
Oh my! Ramsay has many a restaurant. Crazy really, how much money does one man need? I assume he has a ferocious cocaine habit. Might explain some of that attitude, Christ he never was much of a footy player.
His port selection blows too. Delaforce, the vintage capri of port . . .
Yeah he can go in; he has volume and temper but lacks character.
Oh I wish I had Sky now, Jim. The way he travelled the world seeking the finest produce in the only place to buy it - in the markets - was just such great entertainment.
I'm off to check youtube for Floyd progs.
Another addition - banana flavoured things!
Oh my! Ramsay has many a restaurant. Crazy really, how much money does one man need? I assume he has a ferocious cocaine habit. Might explain some of that attitude,
Only yesterday I went into a rant about how much I hate (and always have hated) all banana "flavouring".
Fight about CF is off. :kiss2:
Can we just announce a temporary lull in the CF fight? I was looking forward to a good fight... :(
Oh I wish I had Sky now, Jim. The way he travelled the world seeking the finest produce in the only place to buy it - in the markets - was just such great entertainment.Ah, but I do not have sky (and never will have). Sky3 is on freeview
Bubba's picture is Dita von Teese (ex von Marilyn Manson)Crap! I thought it looked a bit odd for her. Never trust the interweb and it's pesky lies
she's too busy taking it up the ass
Mate of mine used to rent rooms to the chefs from Harveys , Ramsey inc. , and a more battered , beaten and bruised bunch of drug taking animals you are never likely to meet .... Cooked us some fantastic meals though .... The exiquisite sweetness of his (Ramseys') lobster ravioli is a memory I will take to my death bed ....Oh my! Ramsay has many a restaurant. Crazy really, how much money does one man need? I assume he has a ferocious cocaine habit. Might explain some of that attitude,
I'm convinced this is correct. On that live cooking thing he did the other week he looked totally fucking wired.
I reckon James ate about 10 chocolate flapjacks before he pissed up The Groove.
Sagging should go in as it sounds unpleasantly sexual, deviantly so.
I reckon James ate about 10 chocolate flapjacks before he pissed up The Groove.
Do you have proof that he ate any of these disgusting things before he did the FA
I vote for whistling. die die die.
the absent minded, no tune, arn't i a jolly fellow, te he look at me and my air blowing frivolity, type of whistling. the ambling along because you've not got anything better to do than force putrid air through yer dying cake hole kind.
fuck soup oxygen theiving knob jockies. fifteen tins of spam shoved up a whislter's dirt hole until they explode like a foie gras goose. thats the kind of punishment i'm talking about.
in fact tesco on the whole can go in.
are not all supermarkets the same in terms of cuntness??
I blame the stockmarket & the shareholder system.
I would venture that someone in your manor had been bought off . . . ?
Retail is a fucking minefield.
Throw em in.
Opinions?
who am I to say that their activity is more harmful than ours?
May I make particular reference to the arse muncher who drives his huge 4x4 from his house which is about 125 yards from the school, past the school, up my lane and parks about 75 yards from the school, right across my fucking drive.
Put a few nails down one day. He probably doesn't know how to change a tyre.I once nailed a car to a road ..... Intensely satisfying ...
I was gonna suggest ALL fattos, but thought I was being a bit OTT. I should have gone with my original thought.
Fat people take up more space.
Fat people breath more (puff puff) and therefore use more oxygen.
Fat people (generally) eat more.
Fat people need more fuel to get them around in cars due to the extra weight.
Fat people use more resources as their clothes are bigger.
And this is before we start on costs of healthcare.
Big is beautiful.
Like fuck it is.
he'll be giving the accountants the full length (and then some) the moment they arive.
ask where that buck really stops.
I feel the need to consign David Pleat - shite football commentator and all round tosser to Room 101. There are few people that I would commit random acts of violence on should I meet them in the street but he is one.
bluebrad
Nominate Franco Cookson. This wet twat is the biggest spouter of manure on UKC at the minute. The Roaches, chossy?!
http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/t.php?t=286595&new=4249215#x4249215
Will Hunt and his constant referals to that shit irrelevant website and what he gets up to on there.
I've always liked Will, fuck U w/bells if you don't.
Find another whipping boy, mean-ass! Lad has humour+character
colnage
Will Hunt and his constant referals to that shit irrelevant website and what he gets up to on there.
singing like a cock
I always sing when I'm on my own in the car, why the hell does it bother you?
. (although the people that sit dancing in their car whilst screaming into a hairbrush surely ain't right?)
wish I had enough hair to warrant a brush .....
Apologies to all in car singers. (although the people that sit dancing in their car whilst screaming into a hairbrush surely ain't right?)
Tracy Emin: just the most horrid combination of womanhood and artistry I can currently name.
To be fair to the rat, Bubonic Plague has not been seen for quite some time in these shores . . .can i have the hamster? they make great pet food!
Hamsters could never go in ROOM 101, though our current beastie Oskar has pushed his luck often enough by being the most anti-social and willing to bite of all that we've had, alas one of Fraudini's retarded pals bought her the last hamster in the petshop after our beloved Charlie Maus caught pneumonia & had to be killed. What a dumb fuck thing to do.
So, Jasmin Harnau, get in ROOM 101, you retard.
I will release the obese from ROOM 101 - briefly - so I can give them a taste of freedom before slamming them back in again to cook in their own crackling.
Today we reserve particular spite for those repulsive cretins who overflow from chairs, can't take 5 steps w/ out
labouring and weezing like an asphyxiating pig, and have the personal habits of a Neanderthal: slobbering away at the breakfast table w/ their disgusting nom nom noms as the fat wobbles from their bingo-wrists and the drool collects in their stubbled triple chins; their bodies so wide I must move my head to take them in.
I thought opposites were meant to attract ....
Rough ...
I am quite staggered that nobody has got around to mentioning Coldplay on this thread!
Would there be room for Maroon 5 on that new level?
..... and Scouting for Girls and The Feeling please.
What happened to common sense.
- faux-chocolate bars or crisps that boast "only 0.3 calories" - that isn't a selling point.
People who park in mother and baby parking spaces when their offspring ain't with them. The spaces are for parents AND children together, not for people who happen to be parents. I've heard this justified by a woman who said when asked why she'd parked in one of these spaces, "I do have a young child you know". So fuckin' what, they're somewhere else.
The British weather.
can I nominate burning the roof of your mouth when eating food that is far too hot when you are starving eg pizza or in my case beans on toast.Yes yes fucking yes.
Its gonna hurt for days
People who park in mother and baby parking spaces when their offspring ain't with them. The spaces are for parents AND children together, not for people who happen to be parents. I've heard this justified by a woman who said when asked why she'd parked in one of these spaces, "I do have a young child you know". So fuckin' what, they're somewhere else.Sorry, i totally disagree with this one :)
just because some fucker has decided to breed.
Dave I have to admit I do press the pedestrian crossing buttons a lot when waiting. But its more an OCD-must-touch-the-button-a-certain-number-of-times-lest-the-universe-be-destroyed-kinda-vibe.
Please forgive me.
most people doing this think it will make the crossing cycle come around quicker. same goes for people who do it when waiting for a lift.
some knob jockey has parked right next to me to the degree that I have to move the car to get the blobs in their car seats. I mean what the fuck? Is that just stupid or did the cunt do it on purpose?!?!?
People who park in mother and baby parking spaces when their offspring ain't with them. The spaces are for parents AND children together, not for people who happen to be parents. I've heard this justified by a woman who said when asked why she'd parked in one of these spaces, "I do have a young child you know". So fuckin' what, they're somewhere else.Sorry, i totally disagree with this one :)
I don't park in disabled places but I don't see why I should be discriminated against just because some fucker has decided to breed. If you decide to have kids then you can fucking walk across the car park with them like everyone else has to ;)
However people who park in disabled spaces without displaying a badge should be shot, then shot again, then kicked, then set fire to, then shot, then spat at, then hung from a pole on the road in to town as a message to other potential unauthorised disabled space users, then buried in a unmarked grave which is subsequently used as the site for a public toilet or sewage treatment works....
Jasper,
you will be pleased to hear about the parking rules in force at the M&S car park at the railway station in Ilkley - there is a sign up stating that each car must park between the white lines and that a fine may be imposed on anyone not following this rule. Furthermore, they actually enforce this rule! People who park over the lines are fined £60. Plenty of complaints about this in the Ilkley Gazette, but this is completely legal and M&S are sticking to their sense of what is right.
This is not just parking, It's M&S parking :thumbsup:
I personally think once kids are able to walk on their own the parents shouldn't be able to use the parking bays.
And then have their application for a disbaled badge denied, cunts.
However people who park in disabled spaces without displaying a badge should be shot, then shot again, then kicked, then set fire to, then shot, then spat at, then hung from a pole on the road in to town as a message to other potential unauthorised disabled space users, then buried in a unmarked grave which is subsequently used as the site for a public toilet or sewage treatment works....
Or just beaten until they are in such a state that they are eligible for disabled parking.
The M&S thing is brilliant. I wish more shops would police their parking.
You are a fucking ugly bitch and I want to stab you to death and play with your blood.
My need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale cannot be corrected, but, ah, I have no other way to fulfil my needs.
I'm sure in a place like Ilkley there must be hundreds of anal pensioners gagging
I'm sure in a place like Ilkley there must be hundreds of anal pensioners gagging
Remind me not to visit. :o
So in summary, I think we are all in agreement - people who park like twats - in you go. :)
GQ magazine - gop straight to Room 101 and burn in hell!! Somebody left a copy round our house and the only thing that I can say about it is what a load of fucking trash that magazine is - designed by wankers in London to be read by bigger wankers in London!his oft used phrase ' whipped like egg stealing dogs with no warning or reason at all ' comes to mind .....
Just in case there are further reasons required for the inclusion of said organ of wankerish style and grooming the Hunter S Thompson "inspired" photo shoot should be more than ample. Getting some floppy haired skinny tosser of a male model and dressing him up to resemble Johnny Depp in Fear and Loathing... replete with floppy hat, aviator style sunglasses, cigarette holder, shiny replica gun and pulling gurns inspired by the film makes my piss boil. God only knows what Hunter would have said but the vitriol level would have been on a par with that reserved for GW Bush or J Edgar Hoover hopefully.
bluebrad
This is real drum and bass made by real people, not by a 17 year old rock band who started making drum and bass as soon as they heard their first Shy FX album...
I am quite staggered that nobody has got around to mentioning Coldplay on this thread!
I've commissioned the ghost of Dante to create an entirely new level of Hell, just for coldplay.
An everytime I hear her voice I want to remove her vocal cords with blunt pliers and garden shears.(http://clashofthetitans.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/americanpsycho.jpg)
Right...not sure if this is just me but...people who record gigs they're at on their digital camera / mobile phones.
Sub / contractors who insist on wearing their hi-vis vests to hotel breakfast tables.
ok this may be a stupis question but what is a room 101? :jaw:
religion gets my vote
crock of shite
Pigeons.
....while I sit there for six hours with a fucking dislocated ankle. Bastards.
Pigeons.
The little find-a-way-into-your-house-despite-you-spending-hours-blocking-up-every-conceivable-hole-then-shitting-everywhere-flying-rat-cunts.
You can also chuck in Jamie Oliver and Hugh Fearnley Twatingstall.
We can still burn McKeith.
Spaghetti in a tin that's long lengths.
I had some today from the supermarket- each piece is about 20cm, and this means you have to cut it up to eat it. It ruins the simplicity.
5 metre tapes that in reality only let you pull out 4.8 metres of tape when you need to measure something 4.9 metres-ish long.The reason I bought a 8m tape measure
The saying "My Bad"
nuff said really
Hope neither you nor your lass are injured in anyway.
The saying "My Bad"
nuff said really
:oops: my bad, glad everythings okay.
The saying "My Bad"
nuff said really
Anyone using the phrase "my bad" on a thread about Room101 where the aforementioned phrase already resides. Slack---line you're in! ;):oops: my bad, glad everythings okay.
The Star newspaper.
Make sure Brighton goes in with all those smug aren't-we-cool-we-live-in-Brighton-how-cool-and-bohemian-we-are cunts.
age restrictions.
These people are wankers and should be shot and have their winning donated to me so I can do all the things I don't get time for and not have to work
Sounds like the guy in hitchhikers... who became immortal, and so decided to insult everyone in the universe personally.A truely inspirational character ....
Sounds like the guy in hitchhikers... who became immortal, and so decided to insult everyone in the universe personally.A truely inspirational character ....
Arthur Philip Dent? You're a jerk, a complete asshole.
They seem to be a universally disorganised bunch of fuckwits who couldn't find a shit in a sewer.
the miswswesw swpiloloing swomething aqlolo over the kieyboaqrde aqnde not teloloing me. New kieyboaqrde here I come
never mind that. what about fucking football.
I'm fucking sick to death about this shit fucking sport thats played by a load of overpaid floppy haired (and wristed) twats with every man and his dog blabbing on about some foreign cunt who such and such has paid x million for. I really hope the wankers that invented the "credit crunch" did it with the intention of bankrupting every football club in the country. Only then will I be happy
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_uOgyBK1c (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_uOgyBK1c)
On the subject of other sports can we put Andy Murray in please? I don't care that he's got to the semi final of the US open and I don't care that he's ranked number 4 in the World. He's an annoying cock.
The swine that stole my bag (containing phone, mp3 player, sweater, jacket, overnight kit, and my wine you bitch) that was flung to the floor having run a swift 110m to help the man in Leeds who hit a car at speed then uprooted a lamppost then nailed a bank - h a r d - in his car having drunk and snorted his way through last Saturday morning.Only a real lowlife would do such a thing :(
I hope you die a long painful death you piece of shit. :furious:
The swine that stole my bag (containing phone, mp3 player, sweater, jacket, overnight kit, and my wine you bitch) that was flung to the floor having run a swift 110m to help the man in Leeds who hit a car at speed then uprooted a lamppost then nailed a bank - h a r d - in his car having drunk and snorted his way through last Saturday morning.
I hope you die a long painful death you piece of shit. :furious:
Jim. If football was to go into Room 101 and suddenly cease to exist, it would follow that there would be no Stockport County.It would not make any difference at all flower.
And then there would be no Edgeley Park for the fat, wheezing, cauliflower-eared set of bastards known as the Sale Sharks to hijack and turn the pitch into a fucking quagmire.
So think on petal.
Didn't you call you call Burial "the Pendulum of Dubstep ..." ;)
Did I? oh shit, I revoke that statement in haste and apologise to anybody affected, Burial's album is fucking beautiful, not quite dubstep, very much ambient electronica and very very fucking sublime.
Blackburn* and Real Player
* apart from BUK which is good, once you actually find it.....
did you download the actual file or did you click one of the ads by mistake?Attempted the 'lite' version. Retrying now....Job done, 30 seconds. Cheers.
also are you downloading by morse code? Took 30 seconds on mine.
Try downloading again, works great and you never have to install real (shit) player again
Having just got back from Rome I'd like to nominate Italian taxi drivers .....
One Day Like This.
when you've forgoten your charger on hols ad your phone/camera runs out of battery!
when i realize this is ACTUALLY my reaction! :wall:
im not that bothered about the phone itself but its got my camera in it!
(i cant afford a decent camera)
oh well.
Thanks for the reminder, dave.
Katie Melua is shite.
She got to go in too, she can duet w/ that trout wotshername.
Trekking poles, innapropriate use thereof.
Great if you're carrying heavy load on rough ground, but if you're a middel aged rambler in the peak walking along paths you could drive a car along you don't need them! Just got back from the alps where i swear we were the only people we saw out walking without them. people were even using them around fucking town centre! Aaaaggghhh. it really does represent the fact people have got too much disposable income and that clearly outdoor shops/magazines are very good at marketing people products they don't need.
The current fad for wearing beanies kinda half-on/half-off the back of the head, generally by the west street/eccy road fashion drones.
how about that cunt kid rock or what ever his name is with his shite rock cut up track. Every time I hear it on the radio I think awesome a bit of warren zevon, but no its that turd head instead
-Jade Goody
The girl on the checkout at our local supermarket yesterday was apparently named "Afrodity"! Oh dear.
-Jade Goody
I will personally oversee her execution. I'll video it.
-Jade Goody
I will personally oversee her execution. I'll video it.
And send it to Al Jazeera?
The girl on the checkout at our local supermarket yesterday was apparently named "Afrodity"! Oh dear.
Was that really how it was spelt Dave? I can almost accept that someone would think to name their daughter after the Greek Goddess of Love but to fuck up the spelling that badly is just criminal in the extreme.
That song is truly horrible.
Anyone wish to help me nail the fucker to cross?
-Jade Goody
I will personally oversee her execution. I'll video it.
And send it to Al Jazeera?
I think the general religeous guidelines under which Al Jazeera moderate the content of their broadcasts would prohibit any mention of the offensive Pig Faced Woman, let alone any actual video footage of her. Maybe just some scenes of the crowd celebrating?
The broadcasting or publication of images of Jade "The Pig" Goody is specifically prohibeted in The Koran in Surah 2:216, where it says "Jade Goody also because she is a minger of the hoof but there is no cud. She is unclean for you. None of her flesh must you touch and her carcass you must not gaze upon. Even of her image you must not see. Of those who make her vile image appear to the unfortunate, all shall have their eyes burned and their ears filled with the whining noise of Peter Andre and there shall be a great gnashing of teeth".
Word.
I think the Parental Advisory on the KR record should be changedExplicitHigh Shit Content
But I have no idea how to upload it. So just imagine how awesome it was. I am going to go back to licking windows.
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41DNQ0DRZML._SL500_BO2,204,203,200_AA219_PIsitb-sticker-dp-arrow,TopRight,-24,-23_SH20_OU02_.jpg)
While in the house Jade Goody got the news she was diagnosed with cancer. Aweful news really. For anyone. Even Jade Goody. But Jade Goody’s bad news turned into a tabloid marathon of Jade bullshit. Jade Goody made it seem as if she is and will ever be the only person to get the Big C. Wake up and smell the shit stained blankets Jade. You’re not special. You’re not the Chosen One. Cancer hits millions of people everywhere and those millions of people deal with it in dignity and not by talking crap and getting their sobbing faces into the newspaper day after day. If you wanted our sympathy you could have promoted cancer charities instead of yourself while enduring your disease. We wish death on no one, but we wish you, Jade Goody, a good old fashioned Donkey Punch. No such thing as bad publicity right? We hope this site pleases you.
my science teacher
why?
shes a twat
end of
Word.
I think the Parental Advisory on the KR record should be changedExplicitHigh Shit Content
I went to the effort ofphotoshoppingMS Painting the Kid Rock CD cover so it read Kid cock, Rock and Roll Cunt, Parental Advisery Shit Content. It was fucking brilliant. But I have no idea how to upload it. So just imagine how awesome it was. I am going to go back to licking windows.
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41DNQ0DRZML._SL500_BO2,204,203,200_AA219_PIsitb-sticker-dp-arrow,TopRight,-24,-23_SH20_OU02_.jpg)It's a pop up book, the centre spread being an oversized kebab.
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41DNQ0DRZML._SL500_BO2,204,203,200_AA219_PIsitb-sticker-dp-arrow,TopRight,-24,-23_SH20_OU02_.jpg)
my science teacher
why?
shes a twat
end of
Is it because she insits on the proper use of capital letters and punctuation?
Is it because she insits on the proper use of capital letters and punctuation?
Oh, the irony.
Is it because she insits on the proper use of capital letters and punctuation?
I know that you can sit in something ..... And I know that you can insist on something ..... But I'm buggered if I know what insits means .... ???
my science teacher
why?
shes a twat
end of
Is it because she insistsists on the proper use of capital letters and punctuation?
She's also fat
She tells we are not aloud to eat in the science labs while standing there eating a packet of crisps.
She gave me four lunch time, five break time and 3 after school detentions for not trying hard enough, i then got an A* with 100% correct in the lesson in question.
She's also fat, can't teach and reckons she's a style god. ???
She tells we are not aloud to eat in the science labs while standing there eating a packet of crisps.
My imagination is poor - wad points if we get to see them.
She's also fat
That'll do for me. She's actually in already under "fat people". Check the thread.
:agree:She tells we are not aloud to eat in the science labs while standing there eating a packet of crisps.
Sadistic bitch :o
Burn the witch...:goodidea:
Lenny Henry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5jy4atEkGk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5jy4atEkGk)
Lenny Henry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5jy4atEkGk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5jy4atEkGk)
why?
Otherwise, pretty much everything he's done since Delbert Wilkins...
I would dearly love to post the brilliant Dawn French joke at this juncture but as it is truly offensive, racist and sexist I shall restrain myself. I'm sure those of you who would find it amusing already know it anyway.
Charlie Dimmock.
I would dearly love to post the brilliant Dawn French joke at this juncture but as it is truly offensive, racist and sexist I shall restrain myself. I'm sure those of you who would find it amusing already know it anyway.Problems here: he was on Tiswas: this pretty much makes him immune from 101dom. The only person who has managed to spend their Tiswas capital is Chris Tarrent. Now there is a 101 candidate.
I say put Henry in.Otherwise, pretty much everything he's done since Delbert Wilkins...
Word.
Otherwise, pretty much everything he's done since Delbert Wilkins...
Word.
Charlie Dimmock.
Her constant lack of bra is reason enough for me to second it. How on earth they're not swinging round her ankles by now I'll never know :shrug: Put them away!
(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41DNQ0DRZML._SL500_BO2,204,203,200_AA219_PIsitb-sticker-dp-arrow,TopRight,-24,-23_SH20_OU02_.jpg)
Oh, and jetskis.
can I change the subject and put nose hairs in to 101:agree: and mono brows aswell. :lol:
Maybe he's scared of his dad's...:agree:
Oh, and jetskis.
Mrs Starfish - waking up to the horn blasting out over and over again
hole in the wallHole in the wall ?... Slight cracking in concrete , less than a day to rectify ...... Definitely not justifying the vitriol from a couple who had managed to get one of the best deals I've ever heard of in't building trade ..... No money upfront , any problems are your problems not ours etc etc etfuckingc ....... Cunts ..... Sorry for the delay in replying to this but I've been in't Smoke working on the opening ceremony for the Westfield Shopping Centre ...... Something else I'd like to nominate .....
c,mon
hole in the wallHole in the wall ?...
The fuckpatch who runs Hendre in Tal-Y-Bont: Malcolm something.
Malcolm Something, you are a shithead. Before you enter ROOM 101, I want you dead.
Fuckpatch.
Houdini, are you slowly losing it :lol:
i would like to nominate jonathan ross or however you spell his twatty name.
he thinks he's funny, he's paid to abuse people and talk about shit that nobody cares about, i hate his voice and he's NOT EVEN FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!! :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious: :furious:
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/11/15149911_1e668b82bd.jpg?v=0)They already exist !..... Bugger , I was going to try and make my fortune by developing 'fuckpatches' and flogging them to Catholic priests .....
More of an Ass Bandage than a 'fuckpatch' I know, but Americanisations are everywhere now.
Roll up , roll up. get your fuckpatches while they're hot.
(http://www.ssb3.net/users/9045/dsp_la_set_021.jpg)
And the wind. Again. It was dead still at 1, but back again this morning.
His humour was just about passable in 1988 (or maybe that was just because I was only 14)
Intelligent Business Intelligence
Aren't there legal limits on temps in the workplace?
Aren't there legal limits on temps in the workplace?
The Chuckle Allowance is an allowable expense (since 03/12/08) for the purposes of calculating corporation tax and in some cases the income tax for sole traders. Initially introduced in South Yorkshire to allow for provision of temporary comfortable surroundings for accountants in the event that the traditionally incompetent maintenance technicians of that region cause the usual work place of the accountant to become uncomfortable and/or dangerous. The allowance can be claimed for up to 3 periods within any one tax year up to a total of 72 hours of each accountant's time.
Only 50% of the accountants hourly rates for the Chuckle Period can be charged to the client (and subsequently claimed as a tax free allowance), but 100% of costs incurred within the temporary accommodation can be claimed.
Suitable venues for Chuckle Working include lapdancing clubs and public houses. Although as yet untested, it is generally thought that fast food outlets would not be covered by the scheme. Any food purchased within other venues is allowable.
The allowance can only be claimed if backed up with an amusing video of the incompetent workmen trying to explain their inadequate response to the situation - it is expected that these will be posted on HMR&T website with the aim of cheering people up.
Send them in, along with the inifinite re-runs we've all seen.
Fiend'll be along to punter you if you say that.
Fiend'll be along to punteryoume if you say that.
Fiend'll be along to puntermeeveryone, like a riled boulder monkey, if you say that.
The ceiling of room 101 is like the cistine chapel, but in HDR.Aaaaggghhh!! Out of focus bonus :)
No way is celery going in. No celery = no celeriac. Celeriac is awesome.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celeriac (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celeriac)
10p thick
It is an essential flavour in stews IMO
Celery's also one of the "trinity" of Cajun cuisine (with peppers and onion).
Miserable old bastards.
Who happen to be the ones complaining most vehemently about the lack of respect etc etc in the young
People who dont say thankyou when you hold the door open in passing >:(
atonal crack-addled vagrant with a face like a car accident.
atonal crack-addled vagrant with a face like acarspeedboat accident.
(http://www.cdnn.info/news/safety/kirsty_maccoll_250232a.jpg)
to be honest I can handle wizzard and slade, but I can't fucking abide that Pogues track, and the fact everyone thinks its cool to have a terrible "christmas" song sung by some atonal crack-addled vagrant with a face like a car accident.
Fuck it, I'm putting Christmas in room 101. I fucking hate it.
Oh yeah, and while I'm at it in go the Killers for the appalling lyrics "Are we human? Or are we dancer?"
Oh yeah, and while I'm at it in go the Killers for the appalling lyrics "Are we human? Or are we dancer?"
Inspired by Hunter S Thompson - see para 3 http://www.islandrecords.com/site/artist_bio.php?artist_id=547 (http://www.islandrecords.com/site/artist_bio.php?artist_id=547)
I have a foot firmly in both camps myself. If you were to produce a Human / Dancer Venn Diagram I would definitely be in the intersection.
Fuck it, I'm putting Christmas in room 101. I fucking hate it.
Wasnt christmas a religious holiday to begin with???
"Are we human? Or are we dancer?"I'm not dancer, I'm dasher, you're donner and he's vixen.
Lets stick idiotic drivers who don't understand the Highway Code and think they're being ever so kind by stopping to let cars cross their lane of traffic >:( No you're not being helpful, you're causing an obstruction in your lane of the road, there are rules and regulations in the Highway Code, and if everyone sticks to them then everyone knows what to expect from everyone else.
Its not like we're in France and the UK has never had priorité à droite :furious: :rtfm: :read:
:shrug:"Are we human? Or are we dancer?"I'm not dancer, I'm dasher, you're donner and he's vixen.
Iggy Pop advertising car insurance on telly. How the mighty have crumbled.Aye, just like John Lydon doing a butter commercial :)
People who drive at 1mph coz there's an ickle bit of snow on the road.
The word "ickle". FFS, what a naff, puerile, radio1-esque mockery of the english language. Deserves tongue / finger amputation as applicable.
I LOLed @ slackers:lol:
AFAIK is the one that bugs me most, AFAIK.
Yeah, I like FFS.
AFAIK is the one that bugs me most, AFAIK.
AFAIK is the one that bugs me most, AFAIK.
Houdini - get with the program - AFAIK is totally FTW!!
bb
F*ckin councils running out of grit.... f*ck me we only use it 3 or 4 times a year how the hell can we run out? typical incompetant f*ckin councils run by a bunch of over paid wankers. >:(
Human Resources departments at work - universally incompetent.
Vegetarian dogfood
And in at 9 is another entry for the Killers...
I had to sit through an hour of there so called flamboyant pop last night at the sheffield arena(I was on the guest list before you accuse me of funding them). Low points were the joy division cover and a new tune that sounded like sub Joshua tree stadium rock, also a new tune they did which was a reggae/funk/disco hybrid ellicited the response from myself 'well there all playing a nice tune, its a shame its not the same one'
Put it this way, the wife is a fan and we left at the encore because they had played all the tunes she wanted to.
Highlight of the evening for me was a can of Tuborg in the VIP area
Red Hot Chilli Peppers. (The band).
enjoy.....I still think there shit thoughAnd in at 9 is another entry for the Killers...
I had to sit through an hour of there so called flamboyant pop last night at the sheffield arena(I was on the guest list before you accuse me of funding them). Low points were the joy division cover and a new tune that sounded like sub Joshua tree stadium rock, also a new tune they did which was a reggae/funk/disco hybrid ellicited the response from myself 'well there all playing a nice tune, its a shame its not the same one'
Put it this way, the wife is a fan and we left at the encore because they had played all the tunes she wanted to.
Highlight of the evening for me was a can of Tuborg in the VIP area
:thumbsdown:
jordysi and I are off to see them at SECC Friday.
jordysi and I are off to see them at SECC Friday.
jordysi and I are off to see them at SECC Friday.
Losers! Hahahahahah! *falls off chair*
Highlight of the evening for me was a can of Tuborg in the VIP area
Some incomprehensible jibberish.
Some incomprehensible jibberish.
Just thank yourself lucky you're not drinking my manors' local tipple:
yep, bearing in mind at my work you hear such misnomers as "expresso", "hyperchondriact", "drownding", "kekkell", "marshmellows", "buffit" (for "buffet"), "short shift" (i.e. means "short shrift"), "antipasta" (apparently this is an italian starter made from durum wheat and antimatter), "semt" (for "seemed"), and uses the phrase "built like a brickhouse", all said by the same person.
Synergy.
Touch base. :furious:
Blue sky thinking.
Synergy.
Touch base. :furious:
Blue sky thinking.
Can I stick that WooMe pop-up advert with the two people "dancing" in it in room one oh one? Possibly the most annoying thing I have seen in a while.
I must admit I've had the same issue with trainers, but that's because I stick my feet in my trainers to wander around at the crag without taking off my rock boots. Obviously, feet half in trainers fucks up the back end.
Impatient / stupid shopkeepers can stay here.
A carful of daft old biddies out for a Sunday afternoon drive.Unlucky Steve - for some reason Sunday seems to be the worst for the ol gimmers out driving... I always found the thwack of a palm of hand/fist on a car panel makes for good retribution as it usually makes them think that they've hit you...
I was motoring along after the long climb out of Shaff and there was a stupid old biddy who reversed out of the Burbage bridge parking into the path of me and my trusty steed. Only course of avoidance was into (and rapidly out of again) the path of an oncoming car as the alternative was plowing into her exhaust pipe. She was completely nonplussed and ignorant of my existence. I shall be more careful of the muppets in the future, I kinda expect it in town but let my guard down in the sunshine yesterday afternoon. She almost drove thru two sheep about 30 seconds later.
Anybody else looking at this bloody Sex Education Show vs pr0nography?
Yes, some good things and good that some kids will be able to watch and get a bit of info to calm any worries.
However most of it is just scaremongering for prudish parents.
Last night they were blaming PC manufacturers and distributors for not having safety settings on as default. If you're worried about what your kids are doing online then it's quite simple to look up how to turn on the safety settings. Most good distributors will tell you this as well.
I think its up to the providots [sic ISP] to block access to pr0n
There's also a certain victimization of boys going on. Girls feel pressure from boys to have bigger tits, shaved minges, labial surgery and do weird sex positions apparently. As if any young teenage boy wouldn't start frothing at the mouth at the merest glimpse of a pair of flaps fluffy or not.I know where you're coming from Will, and you're right, it's not all down to boys and their opinions (other girls and so called women's magazines have just as much, if not more, to answer for) but boys can be fairly harsh (some of the comments on the dead fit burds thread, anyone? :whistle: ) and do tend to talk a good game, especially when they're younger or around a group of mates.
Girls are not so powerless in relations as Channel 4 and the Daily Mail would have us believe.Not all girls are, no, but never underestimate the desperate need the majority of teenage girls have to fit in and be seen to be doing the right or cool thing, even if they personally don't think it's right for them at all. Some of the stories I heard volunteering at Childline would turn your stomach.
yep, bearing in mind at my work you hear such misnomers as "expresso", "hyperchondriact", "drownding", "kekkell", "marshmellows", "buffit" (for "buffet"), "short shift" (i.e. means "short shrift"), "antipasta" (apparently this is an italian starter made from durum wheat and antimatter), "semt" (for "seemed"), and uses the phrase "built like a brickhouse", all said by the same person.
my boss also doesn't understand the difference between a space and an underscore. bearing in mind she works as a data administrator.
New entry: people who spend sunny afternoons cavorting round the big field in endcliffe park, yet are unable to remove their litter afterwards, it looks a fucking disgrace this morning. fucking cunts.
New entry: people who spend sunny afternoons cavorting round Woodhouse Moor (Hyde Park), Leeds, yet are unable to remove their litter afterwards, it looks a fucking disgrace this morning. fucking cunts.
New entry: people who spend sunny afternoons cavorting round Union Terrace Gardens, Aberdeen, yet are unable to remove their litter afterwards, it looks a fucking disgrace this morning. fucking cunts. It's a mess when looking out the office window.
CLEAN UP HYDE PARK [Facebook Group]
1,978 Members
Probably,as long as it likes massive documents.
Bill Gates is still a cunt though.
I don't disagree with this sentiment, but if you've chosen to use proprietary software and haven't purchased a license legally what do you expect?
Ah, now that's the most irritating thing. As far as I can ascertain, the last version I installed was actually a legit version. The first time I don't use a copy, and see what happens? There's a lesson in there somewhere.
Fucksticks who slow down to a virtual stop at roundabouts, even though there is a clear view for a mile up the road in every direction and there is nothing coming.I think that can be filed under the more general "dawdling cunts" who as a whole should belong in 101.
I'll add the "good samaritans" who drive down Ecclesall Rd, merrily letting all and sundry in from every bloody side-road when there's a clear road ahead, thus holding up everyone else behind them. I mean honestly...
I was going to nominate all the perfectly able bodied lazy cunts at my place who, in a mere 4 storey building, insist on using the lift all the time, even for just going down 1 flight of stairs. But then yesterday there was a powercut and someone got stuck in the lift for 30+mins. the lord moves in mysterious ways.
I was going to nominate all the perfectly able bodied lazy cunts at my place who, in a mere 4 storey building, insist on using the lift all the time, even for just going down 1 flight of stairs. But then yesterday there was a powercut and someone got stuck in the lift for 30+mins. the lord moves in mysterious ways.
walk dam (sic) you lazy :yawn:
Cant be bothered reading all 52 pages but similar to above people that stand still on esculators , walk dam you lazy :yawn:I do that! Ecalators are there so i can be lazy if i want. if i wanted to walk i would have used the stairs.
Either we kill the fatties, or we abolish the NHS. I say we do both.
I nominate having to go to work on a bank holiday - bah!
Rain on a bank holiday (not as bad as yours admittedly bubs!)
Can I nominate people who forget to double up on staff for rainy Bank Holidays. I've actually had to interact with customers today.
Can I nominate people who forget to double up on staff for rainy Bank Holidays. I've actually had to interact with customers today.
I nominate having to go to work on a bank holiday - bah!
Britain. Is. Shit.
It costs me £65 from Peterborough to Leeds by train or £20 Stansted to Hamburg. Britain is an atrocious mess. You're fucked. :thumbsdown:
Britain. Is. Shit.
It costs me £65 from Peterborough to Leeds by train or £20 Stansted to Hamburg. Britain is an atrocious mess. You're fucked. :thumbsdown:
Britain. Is. Shit.
It costs me £65 from Peterborough to Leeds by train or £20 Stansted to Hamburg. Britain is an atrocious mess. You're fucked. :thumbsdown:
Charmin language,walk dam (sic) you lazy :yawn:
People like you, Jerkoff, people like you who CAN'T BE BOTHERED. People like you can FOAD.
Charmin language,walk dam (sic) you lazy :yawn:
People like you, Jerkoff, people like you who CAN'T BE BOTHERED. People like you can FOAD.
Charmin language,walk dam (sic) you lazy :yawn:
People like you, Jerkoff, people like you who CAN'T BE BOTHERED. People like you can FOAD.
Dragging this thread back to 101...
Marking student papers
>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
I hate it. Why can we not use multipleguesschoice? There is one here that even uses text speak. I wish they were so crap they were funny - but they are not. Right, off to mark another 10 before I give myself a 'treat' of using the www for 5 min...
Should be an instant fail for using "txt" speak :spank:
Admittedly with predictive texting I sometimes get "anal" instead of "cock", but it's just something you need to be aware of.......
Yesterday I spent about 10 min looking for a 'yoof speak' transl8r site
Admittedly with predictive texting I sometimes get "anal" instead of "cock", but it's just something you need to be aware of.......
"coal", "cock", and "anal" are all on the same button sequence. handy if you're a gay miner.
Admittedly with predictive texting I sometimes get "anal" instead of "cock", but it's just something you need to be aware of.......
"coal", "cock", and "anal" are all on the same button sequence. handy if you're a gay miner.
As you say the options for different words on predictive are easily accessed by pressing one button. Something you would have thought even the most basic chav dullard could master. We used to call it the cunt button as when typing "cunt" you always got "aunt" first and then had to press the cunt button to change it. Of course, with the advances made in predictive text, my phone now knows that the word "cunt" is used far more often than "aunt" so "cunt" comes up automatically. Thank you Nokia.
Charmin language,walk dam (sic) you lazy :yawn:
People like you, Jerkoff, people like you who CAN'T BE BOTHERED. People like you can FOAD.
To be fair, you were complaining about being lazy whilst displaying the same trait yourself, which is rather hypocritical, and is the sentiment that hOUD was conveying in an abrupt manner.
The great news for you is that our standard costs are now even simpler and better value than before! From 28th September 2009 any calls you make outside of your monthly allowance will be charged differently. .... if you’re calling a UK landline or another Virgin mobile, it’ll cost one simple flat rate of 20p a minute, instead of 15p for the first 5 minutes each day and 5p a minute after that.
require something by tomorrow lunch time mate!!
emails that contain the wordsQuoterequire something by tomorrow lunch time mate!!
and are read by me after 2pm.
emails that contain the wordsQuoterequire something by tomorrow lunch time mate!!
and are read by me after 2pm.
"Hi, this came into my inbox about a week ago and I only got a chance to look at it today. The deadline is tomorrow, can you have a look at it".
another one - I used to sometimes get these urgent mails from od old boss - who always used to have a read reciept on it (Outlook client) - I would use the preview pane to read it then delete the fucker...
he would receive notification that the email had been deleted without being read... :D
he'd normally stroll into where I worked with a right strop on...
people at work who question me incredulously when they see me filling up my water bottle in the kitchen. "oooh that looks healthy". Its not healthy, its just normal.
people at work who question me incredulously when they see me filling up my water bottle in the kitchen. "oooh that looks healthy". Its not healthy, its just normal.
Bus drivers(easy target I know but ) who are incapable of using that big round thing that there sat in front of to turn the bus the extra 500mm into the bus stop that enables the stream of traffic to pass them that inevitably builds up cos some old dears trying to use her bus pass before the allotted time. Said bus driver know gives a cherry thumbs up to the waiting cars who have no fucking choice in the matter.
I would feel less passionatley about this if i didnt already hate bus drivers as a bike rider on the tail end of there murder attempts at rush hour
people at work who question me incredulously when they see me filling up my water bottle in the kitchen. "oooh that looks healthy". Its not healthy, its just normal.
What a hippy freak you are dave. You could at least have spent a quid on a bottle of Evian rather than drinking that free stuff. Get with the program.
Anyone who owns these (http://www.barefootstudio.co.uk/mbt/) and claims to be getting fit.
emails that contain the wordsQuoterequire something by tomorrow lunch time mate!!
and are read by me after 2pm.
Fucking people playing music at the crag on their micro wogbox/mobile fucking phones.
Bangin choonz
Fucking people playing musicat the craganywhere on their micro wogbox/mobile fucking phones.
Bangin choonz
It sounded shit when Cher did it years ago
:agree:
I've been trying to remember the name of that thing for ages so I could chuck it in here. Do you think some of the shitbags who use it could be done for breach of the Trade Descriptions Act? I mean they call themselves singers FFS!
Sloper?!
Anyone??!
the phrase "going forward..."
I can handle 'moving forward' in small does, but as an example of managementeese it really annoys me. The only people who seem to use it are David Brent types who like to think they are being progressive when all they have done is had a self-help management book suppository.
the phrase "going forward..."
Ok, I've had enough
Autotune, you're in.
i'd like to chuck robert peston in. he's such a smug, condescending twat, and ever-so-slightly Grossman with his word emphasis. and he leads the charge in the BBC's policy of misery-promotion, which the licence payer is funding.
Flavoured teas! What a load of gash :thumbsdown:
Ok, I've had enough
Autotune, you're in.
Fuck you T-Pain. It's bad enough that a load of singers use it surreptitiously to pretend that they can really sing, but this recent trend of using it as an effect is now so rife I can barely listen to daytime radio without going into a a rage.
The new fucking cunting tops of the squeezy bottles of tomato/HP sauce. The development of the squeezy bottle was a leap forward into a new age of sauce deployment. But now they've gone and fucked it with some pointless little plastic hygiene wodgit. This satans spawn of an idea means that unless you can close a captains of crush 3 you have no chance of getting anything out of the bottle at all. However if you have the misfortune of being blessed with the crush strength of a bear (or a handy vice lying about) then you will only succeed in exploding untold quantities of sauce all over everywhere apart from where you want it. Leading to a half hour cleaning session by which time my fish-finger sandwich is all cold and a bit soggy.
Twattery.
I was upset about the fish-finger sandwich
Yes I know about the foil. And OK perhaps I am slightly exagerating the effort involved in getting the sauce out, I was upset about the fish-finger sandwich. But I still think the little sealing piece they've put in means that the sauce comes out in a sudden rush, not so bad if your squeezing out a pile of sauce on the side of the plate for dipping purposes but when trying to get an even distribution on a slice of bread in a sandwich situation you tend to end up with a large dollop suddenly released then a sad little trail of sauce. Very uneven spreadage which is completely unsatisfactory. In the pre-sealing grommet days it was easy to get a consistent and predictable flow whereas now it's like a game of Russian roulette, when's it going to blow???
To be clear I am in no way suggesting that the sauce should go in room 101, or the squeezy bottle, or even the new big lid so you can stand on it's head so the sauce is ready for instant deployment. These are all good things. It's just that little bit of clear plastic in set into the hole in the lid which makes the squeezing such a lottery.
The new fucking cunting tops of the squeezy bottles of tomato/HP sauce. The development of the squeezy bottle was a leap forward into a new age of sauce deployment. But now they've gone and fucked it with some pointless little plastic hygiene wodgit. This satans spawn of an idea means that unless you can close a captains of crush 3 you have no chance of getting anything out of the bottle at all. However if you have the misfortune of being blessed with the crush strength of a bear (or a handy vice lying about) then you will only succeed in exploding untold quantities of sauce all over everywhere apart from where you want it. Leading to a half hour cleaning session by which time my fish-finger sandwich is all cold and a bit soggy.
Twattery.
With extreme parameter values, pitch correction has also become popular as a distinctively electronic voice effect. A notable example of Auto-Tune-based pitch correction is the Cher effect, named for Cher, who originated the effect in her 1998 hit song "Believe".[2]
... but when trying to get an even distribution on a slice of bread in a sandwich situation you tend to end up with a large dollop suddenly released then a sad little trail of sauce. Very uneven spreadage which is completely unsatisfactory.
Flavoured teas! What a load of gash :thumbsdown:
As opposed to tea which has no flavour? ;)
I'm going to disagree on this one. Rooibos tea, or Raspberry & Echinacea are great if you don't want caffeine (if like me you actually get withdrawal symptoms when you don't drink it).
pointless little plastic hygiene wodgit.
Twattery.
A character in a characterless media world.
The new fucking cunting tops of the squeezy bottles of tomato/HP sauce. The development of the squeezy bottle was a leap forward into a new age of sauce deployment. But now they've gone and fucked it with some pointless little plastic hygiene wodgit.
Autotune is just a vocoder used in a certain way innit?
It's the work of the devil and you can hear it everywhere even when it's not turned on to the max in the way we've been discussing here.Yeah, it's weird - I never really noticed it a lot before but now my ear is tuned to it (thanks to the recent abuse) I can hear it everywhere - it's horrible.
re: Fruit tea try a spoon of sugar / honey - draws the flavour out atreat
I can't stand Peppermint poo, or Camomile crap.
what about the trend for remote flash used in bouldering photography, used like a WWII searchlight to give 'dramatic' and 'artistic' effects that look 'so original'?
drills me rotten each and every night
I think I'm swimming against the tide here, but I agree with Nik. I hate those fecking plastic sphincters they've put on squeezy sauce bottles. A right front bottom of an idea. Sure they make less mess on the bottle - BUT, according to the SCIENCE (tm)
"Plastic sauce ring-pieces make the delivery of ketchup threshold based, as opposed to the more linear application afforded by previously used open orifices in combination with the maliable (squeezy) bottle. Of course the original glass bottled 'slurp' of ketchup when first tilted was sometimes annoying but became a much loved random facet of sauce application"
Also, I always forget to store them cap side down, so when I come to use it the first blast from the 'red HP starfish' (or Brown depending on your sauce leanings) is always a watery vinegary affair rather than the full bore ketchupiness we all love on our fish finger butties.
Its over to you 101 Meister Houdini...
Another vote for peppermint 'tis a curative for the stomach.. fantastic stuff.
1. Shake bottle to get rid of watery stuff
2. Squeeze onto plate
I don't get why you guys can't squeeze a tiny bit out. :shrug:
Its the threshold problem previously described, you have to reach a certain amount of pressure for a release of sauce, and it all then comes at once (or maybe I'm just a slow twat who can't then ease off on the squeeze).
Assuming that, like any self respecting sauce consumer, you are using Heinz.
I use these Heinz squeezable things faultlessly, now, ignoring the fact that I'm better than you, what's the problem? You squeeze too hard, too soft?
Can I put in hailstones in fucking August?
I'm sure he's already in there.
Eco-warrior & tax exile Bono?hes in here and then some.......
(http://nymag.com/images/2/daily/entertainment/07/11/01_bono_lgl.jpg)
Just in case its not in yet can I include anyone one adding the siffox -gate to indicate a scandal?
You can as long as you define the word siffox you fat fingered twat.:lol:
You can as long as you define the word siffox you fat fingered twat.
Whiplash claim in the offing? ;)
Danny Dyer
(http://www.ambassadortickets.com/uploads/media/32/10128.jpg)
And a new one, someone called 'Roy Smiles'.
What a cunt.
People who still think it's funny to do the Wayne's World style "....not" at the end of a sentence. It was only mildly amusing when the film came out in 1992, it sure as fuck isn't any more.
It worked for Borat
may I just say that the elephant in the room here is the expression, the elephant in the room. Please consign to the dustbin of history.....shit, that's another expression I could do without! Oh no, I've caught clicheitis, I'm as sick as a parrot....
Police done anything about your RTA yet, Slack?
I never take any chances with that kind of shit and if I'm in the outside lane on a roundabout I'll either make sure I'm well in front of everyone or will set off behind the first car in the line. The amount of people who don't check mirrors or indicate is shocking.
At 16:57 on 16 July 2009 I posted an letter to via first class recorded delivery assuming that this would be, as it used to be, trackable.
- people who can't be bothered to indicate when driving.Had that this morning, some dozy cow. Maybe they think it's a fun guessing game for anyone following them. Also wats who think that because they can see fine even if it is getting dark, they don't need headlights on, so people can see them.
Hmmm, just got a phone call from PC Steve Whittingslow (?sp) who has contacted the driver of the van who has stated that they..
- Stopped (true)
- Assisted me (bullshit, they didn't touch me or the bike, and as far as I remember didn't even ask if I was ok)
- Claims I stated I was "allright" and they therefore drove off, if at all I will have said I was "allright" because I could get up and walk around and hadn't been crushed under the wheels of his van, despite the large graze I sustained.
I explained to PC Whittingslowe that they should have exchanged details, but he's trying to tell me that because no one was injured and the driver is stating that I had said I was "allright" there was no need to exchange details and he was fine to drive off, despite the fact that my bike clearly had a fucked wheel!!!
He's going to try contacting First Mainline to try and identify the driver of the 25A bus that witnessed and stopped (with door open, but didn't have the wit about me to go and ask him for contact details) as an independent witness, but that is irrelevant to the fact that this arsehole didn't wait around to exchange contact/insurance details!!!
That's aload of crap, he's trying to brush you off and not conduct an investigation. I presume your statement confirms the damage to the bike etc.
If you don't get satisfacttion then ask to speak to his inspector.
- people who can't be bothered to indicate when driving.
- women in sheffield driving 4x4s blocking junctions while talking on the phone. if you spot one smoking AS WELL then claim a bonus point.
Slackers that 72hr thing is bollocks. The parcel will probably be at the depot the next day in my experience.
best thing for parcels is get your shortie knocked up, that way there'll generally be someone in the crib to accept deliveries.
Can't you get the package delivered to your place of work? If there is any doubt as to whether a delivery will fit through the letterbox (and Sod's Law dictates that I will not be in when the postie tries to make the delivery) it's what I do.
The most recent outburst of bullshit I heard her spout included "only God can judge me".
I suspect some of my cycling habits put me firmly at the back of the room :guilty:
Apologies to Adam Lincoln but can we put N Dubz, Tinchy Strider and all associated "urban" chav pop cunts in please.....
Apologies to Adam Lincoln but can we put N Dubz, Tinchy Strider and all associated "urban" chav pop cunts in please.....
You need to stop listening to daytime R1 (or other such poptastic stations) - it's by nature rage-inducing.
Well regarding helmets it's really up to me whether I wear one or not - it's not affecting anybody else.
Saying sorry doesn't excuse your actions you dumb cow, next time you might not be so lucky.
Saying sorry doesn't excuse your actions you dumb cow, next time you might not be so lucky.
Last time I looked, pedestrians weren't duty bound to give way to cyclists and some people go through life in a daze. Well done for being on the ball enough to save both of you from a bruise or two. But what were you expecting, a blowjob?
...pedestrians seem oblivious to approaching cyclists too and will regularly be surprised to be shouted at when they blindly step out into the road.
Well done for managing to restrain yourself so far. There could be anything just round the corner so travel at an appropriate speed.
Point 66: Not ride more than two abreast, or single file on narrow or busy roads, or round bends. Every Sunday morning, driving to work, I encounter at least 3 groups of cyclists ignoring this rule. I very nearly kill at least two of them.
And not really one of the points, but if there's a cycle lane, and it's away from the road, why would you bother staying on the road, you fucking retarded mentalist!Because they (I) have free will and using a cycle lane is not compulsory. The road surface, drain covers and bad repairs can be appalling on a cycle lane, just as they can be anywhere else on the road. Not to mention the bumpy ride caused by the red/green coloured road surface that gets monotonous on a regular commute.
so why don't they take all the precautions they can?Because then I would never leave the house. Only most accidents happen in the home. Oh no, what to do?
Saying sorry doesn't excuse your actions you dumb cow, next time you might not be so lucky.
Last time I looked, pedestrians weren't duty bound to give way to cyclists and some people go through life in a daze. Well done for being on the ball enough to save both of you from a bruise or two. But what were you expecting, a blowjob?...pedestrians seem oblivious to approaching cyclists too and will regularly be surprised to be shouted at when they blindly step out into the road.
Ummm... I think they are supposed to look before they step off the pavement though.
I'll bite.Well done for managing to restrain yourself so far. There could be anything just round the corner so travel at an appropriate speed.
Point 66: Not ride more than two abreast, or single file on narrow or busy roads, or round bends. Every Sunday morning, driving to work, I encounter at least 3 groups of cyclists ignoring this rule. I very nearly kill at least two of them.
Saying sorry doesn't excuse your actions you dumb cow, next time you might not be so lucky.
Last time I looked, pedestrians weren't duty bound to give way to cyclists and some people go through life in a daze. Well done for being on the ball enough to save both of you from a bruise or two. But what were you expecting, a blowjob?
...pedestrians seem oblivious to approaching cyclists too and will regularly be surprised to be shouted at when they blindly step out into the road.
Ummm... I think they are supposed to look before they step off the pavement though.
a bit tedious and UKC.
I do see your point John but, as a motorist who always looks out for cyclists, always gives them a wide berth, will happily trundle along behind them at a few miles an hour until it is safe to pass them, etc etc etc it is VERY annoying (and deeply inconsiderate) when a pair of cyclists decide to trundle along barely pedaling down a narrow road side by side chatting away whilst a queue forms behind them.
Someone once gave me poor service in a restaurant so now, regardless of the service I receive, I never tip on principle. That'll teach 'em...
ditto that bad cyclist rant. and cyclists who ride on the pavement. especially when there's a cycle lane there but they can't be arsed to cross the road to use it. there seems to be this thinking that cos a bike is light, doesn't have an engine, and doesn't pay road tax that somehow means the rules of the road don't apply.Dave, I've said this before, but I ride past you most mornings on the pavement, near the wickes traffic lights. There is a cycle lane but it runs through a bad junction where I'd have to turn against the traffic. After nearly being cleared up by cars twice I decided the wide pavement would be safer and not really endanger pedestrians.
ditto that bad cyclist rant. and cyclists who ride on the pavement. especially when there's a cycle lane there but they can't be arsed to cross the road to use it. there seems to be this thinking that cos a bike is light, doesn't have an engine, and doesn't pay road tax that somehow means the rules of the road don't apply.Dave, I've said this before, but I ride past you most mornings on the pavement, near the wickes traffic lights. There is a cycle lane but it runs through a bad junction where I'd have to turn against the traffic. After nearly being cleared up by cars twice I decided the wide pavement would be safer and not really endanger pedestrians.
Its just common sense really, I dare say there are a higher percentage of bad drivers than bad cyclists.
Last week some c*$t almost knocked me off near eccy road spar when diving into the bus lane to save 20 seconds. He refused to apologise, then for a laugh swerved towards me when the other side of the roundabout. I caught up with him, but all I could offer was some choice words.
If you ever feel like I'm endangering you, I suggest you do the same. Until then, see you on the pavement.
new entry - TV adverts for universities. Particularly the one for liverpool hope that i've just witnessed. At first i actually thought it was a spoof, or an ad for scientology or some bullshit. It has to be seen to be disbelieved.
Yep, that doesn't look good ever, let alone this year. Where do you work tomtom?
Fucking people playing music at the crag on their mobile fucking phones.
Yep, that doesn't look good ever, let alone this year. Where do you work tomtom?
Hull, we're full...
He redefines the term douchebag.
People - especially on UKB - who think wigga-wogese is cool, it's not. :thumbsdown:
People - especially on UKB - who think wigga-wogese is cool, it's not. :thumbsdown:
Amen!! :P
- people who seem to use hazard lights on the car as "i'm parked illegally on double yellows, probably in a bus lane on a busy road like a twat cos which is going to inconvenience everyone else cos I'm too lazy to walk more than 10foot to the takeaway or spar so you'd better deal with it" lights.On a similar theme (may get lynched but hey)...
- people who seem to use hazard lights on the car as "i'm parked illegally on double yellows, probably in a bus lane on a busy road like a twat cos which is going to inconvenience everyone else cos I'm too lazy to walk more than 10foot to the takeaway or spar so you'd better deal with it" lights.On a similar theme (may get lynched but hey)...
People who indicate expecting people to let them in. Er no. It's mirror, signal, maneouvre (the signalling part coming after it's clear to move off). In a driving test I'm sure that's a fault of some sort.
Why the fuck bother. Either have your headlights the fuck on, so everyone can see you or off - if its daylight! Especially at dusk, those sidelights just blend into the surrounding scenery.
wogeseWhat does that mean exactly? Google doesn't turn up anything.
My pet motoring gripe of the week is side lights.
wogeseWhat does that mean exactly? Google doesn't turn up anything.
wigga-wogese: a vaguely derogatory name for Street Talk (see street). This term has been adopted by those who feel alienated from their own culture and dislike seeing others try to join in with cultures other than those into which they were born; especially where the WW users appear to be enjoying themselves
You've obviously never owned or driven a Volvo.... (and woe be-tide anyone who hits one as they're built like tanks!).
I'd like to nominate contestants who show up for university challenge wearing any old fucking t-shirt - you're on telly for fuck's sake, at least make an effort.
(http://www.fortunecity.com/lavender/shaft/857/university_challenge.JPG)
I'd like to nominate contestants who show up for university challenge wearing any old fucking t-shirt - you're on telly for fuck's sake, at least make an effort.
infact it really riles me anytime i see anyone smoking with with or anywhere near kids in any context.
infact it really riles me anytime i see anyone smoking with with or anywhere near kids in any context.
Winds me up a treat. By all means fuck your own health up, but not your children's.
people who stand outside hospitals smoking. particularly people who stand outside baby/childrens hospitals smoking next to big 'no fucking smoking you scutters' signs while pregnant women/newborns/young kids walk in and out.
i live on the same street as the christie hospital, it really really winds me up to see thier staff smoking outside. but not quite as much as one of their patients, in a wheel chair, on a drip...smoking.
i live on the same street as the christie hospital, it really really winds me up to see thier staff smoking outside. but not quite as much as one of their patients, in a wheel chair, on a drip...smoking.
Minus a leg or two due to their peripheral vascular disease.
I'd like to nominate contestants who show up for university challenge wearing any old fucking t-shirt - you're on telly for fuck's sake, at least make an effort.
Interesting fact - every single day non-smokers die :whistle:
the worst ones are the really drained looking women in dressing gowns stood outside jessops who are not only smoking but have clearly just given birth.fully noted the last time I was there, palid and looking fully in withdrawl the ones i saw!
Ive seen scaffolders do more difficult things
Interesting fact - every single day non-smokers die :whistle:
Interesting fact - every single day non-smokers die :whistle:
30 of them due to smokers (http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/oct/11/duncan-bannatyne-smoking-ban)
Interesting fact - every single day non-smokers die :whistle:
I'd like to nominate contestants who show up for university challenge wearing any old fucking t-shirt - you're on telly for fuck's sake, at least make an effort.
I think you'll find that when I was on UC I wore a natty oxford weave shirt. Does this mean you know two people who have ben team captins on UC Lagers? Thats got to be some kind of a record.I'd like to nominate contestants who show up for university challenge wearing any old fucking t-shirt - you're on telly for fuck's sake, at least make an effort.
Yeah, Joe, what were you thinking? (The Guns looked good though)
Does this mean you know two people who have ben team captins on UC Lagers?
Does this mean you know two people who have ben team captins on UC Lagers?
You lose 5 points for that spelling.
I would like to send to the deepest, darkest depths of room 101 those lazy/inaccurate bastards who insist in pissing all over the toilet seat in the gents. Now in a pub/club/some other den of inequity this act might be excuseable. But in a fucking university library?! Potty training should surely come somewhere before third level education should it not?
:furious:
Surely public bog etiquette requires its own thread...ot maybe not?
plop-suppression
“There are those who would call her a short-sighted bigot, perhaps even a wilfully deceitful crack-whore, but they don’t realise how upsetting the loss of her career will be to millions of witless homophobes and racists.”
Chewing Gum on the pavements. One that was steam cleaned less than a year ago looks like it has some blotchy skin disorder now. Who chews gum and then spits it on the pavement anyway? I never see it happen, must be late night drinkers or something? Is chewing gum cool amongst the clubbing cogniscenti these days?
Anyway, annoying.
In Singapore they've effectively moved this to 101. Chewing gum banned.
It takes 17 weeks to remove chewing gum from Oxford Street but only 10 days for it to be covered in gum again.Biodegradable chewing gum (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/5076239/Biodegradable-chewing-gum-lands-in-Waitrose-stores-nationwide.html)
I'm pretty sure I've read that this is not the case but it still works for me - I'm convinced I won't fall asleep on a subconscious level or something :shrug:
Michael Macintyre - possibly the most unfunny man on the planet. Twat.
I would suggets vast quantities of industrial strength amphetamines... or maybe not.
I do when I'm at work sometimes; Not sure why but I find chewing gum quite helpful for staying awake on long night drives.
Michael Macintyre - possibly the most unfunny man on the planet. Twat.
Seconded. I would also insert the word smugsomewhere in that description too..along way up his rectum.
Michael Macintyre - possibly the most unfunny man on the planet. Twat.Harry Hill is surely a contender?
I get the feeling demotivational pictures may have a place in here!
Michael Macintyre - possibly the most unfunny man on the planet. Twat.Harry Hill is surely a contender?
Go Compare adverts with that stupid opera singer. What a twat.
Go Compare adverts with that stupid opera singer. What a twat.
i'd just nominate advertising executives. particularly the ones who came up with "webuyanycar.com".
Harry Hill actually used to be really genius back before he started all the puppet-based shit on TV. I've got a VHS of him doing standup back in probably the late 1990s and its totally inspired. Not that accessable either sicne he switches back to previous jokes he was half way through telling 15 minutes earlier, often having 5 or 6 jokes on the go at any one time. its just a shame that mainstream TV sucess demands a more unchallenging brand of comedy.
I think dogs should only be allowed to eat food that rhymes with their names. Under this system Poodles would only be able to eat noodles or strudel. But if you think about it that is the only dog which rhymes with a food so that's probably why the system isn't in effect. No, stop trying to think of a dog which rhymes with a food there isn't one. Stop it!
(later)
Quiche Lorraine, Great Dane. No, I won't accept it.
(later)
Labrador, lobster thermidor. OK, I'll accept that one.
Cunts indeed.
Consider this if you still can http://www.autoaidbreakdown.co.uk/ (http://www.autoaidbreakdown.co.uk/)
Have used them a few times and there has never been any hassle.
Hello,
We’ve noticed that you’re not currently registered to receive information from us and we just wanted to let you know that...
Drink-drivers like the cunt responsible for this story:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/21/2777870.htm (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/21/2777870.htm)
There should be a special and very painful corner of the room for them.
People who leave their tax returns to the last minute meaning I have had to work every evening for the past two weeks and at the weekends.
It's not as if you've had nine months to sort it out YOU CUNTS!!!
:rtfm: :furious: :spank:
I've not done mine yet, can you spare some time ;D
Didn't used to be a deadline before Self Assessment was brought in.Ah the good old days ....
Wonder how famous taxman Mick Fowler used to cope at this time of the year - weekend forays to Scotland from London plus last minuters to deal with.
I've been nice to my accountant this year , I popped my books in yesterday rather than waiting till tomorrow :whistle: ......
The Right Inbred Lord Christopher Monkton, currently spreading his special brand of bullshit on this side of the planet and getting far more attention than he deserves. Nicely dismantled and debunked in a piece in the Melbourne Age today though:
http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/debunking-the-myths-behind-the-pontificating-potty-peer-20100205-nikc.html (http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/debunking-the-myths-behind-the-pontificating-potty-peer-20100205-nikc.html)
Stressful day slackers? :)
Just a bit frustrating dealing with people who don't have a clue. Today is another day.I hear that. Had it up to here *raises hand to forehead* with clueless idiots recently.
People who drive at 40 miles an hour.
Open standard road but busy in opposite direction- 40 miles an hour.
Country road - national speed limit - good visibility / sight lines down road - 40 miles an hour
Lit villages on said road - 30 mph speed limit - 40 miles an hour.
Fuck 'em.
People who think it's Ok to drive in fog without headlights. I assume they do it because they can see what's going on perfectly well. Well it makes it hard for others to see you. Plus you are cunts.
Yeah Ali, it's terrible when people do careless things behind the wheel like......... :)
Spelling - I mean the lack of proper rules for spelling words in the English language.
How can children be expected to develop a sense of right and wrong and respect for the rule of law when so many of the "rules" that they learn about one of our primary means of communication have so many exceptions? I blame this for the widespread attitude/belief that many people have which can be summed up as "it is wrong to X (insert act of wrongness here), unless I feel like it" and all the problems in today's society that result from such thinking. I mean look at this ridiculous legal system we have - all seems to be based around comparing situations to other situations and seeing if this one is exempt from the rules that apply to the others. Codify! I say.
Nowt wrong with grammar, that's proper rules that is.
Rules are not rules if they have exceptions.
Stupid spelling system into 101.
luckily a little handoff resolved the situation.
Twats in planes in the row behind you who grab your headrest to haul their arses out of their seat. Use the arm rests to stand up you lazy fuckers as I don't like being woken up or (more importantly) having my wine split. Twats.
Spelling - I mean the lack of proper rules for spelling words in the English language.
How can children be expected to develop a sense of right and wrong and respect for the rule of law when so many of the "rules" that they learn about one of our primary means of communication have so many exceptions? I blame this for the widespread attitude/belief that many people have which can be summed up as "it is wrong to X (insert act of wrongness here), unless I feel like it" and all the problems in today's society that result from such thinking. I mean look at this ridiculous legal system we have - all seems to be based around comparing situations to other situations and seeing if this one is exempt from the rules that apply to the others. Codify! I say.
Nowt wrong with grammar, that's proper rules that is.
Rules are not rules if they have exceptions.
Stupid spelling system into 101.
I've only just spotted this, and I feel compelled to reply.
I am of an age where children had the Initial Teaching Alphabet (ITA) imposed on them.
This was something which the "standardize the language" advocates, and their cohorts and acolytes in the "educationalist" wing of the teaching profession.
Something so wrong-headed as to be unbelievable, and had two [possibly even three?] consequences.
1. Children became illiterate, as a direct result of being transferred backwards and forwards between the two phonetic systems [and as a result created illiterate adults - in the sense they really couldn't read as a result of their experiences at school trying to deal with a dogmatic and inflexible system]
2. Children were not able to read books or newspapers - nothing was written in ITA - so the idea that reading for pleasure coulnd't take told - the only place to read was in school, where it was somewhere to learn.
(I'll accept it's not the same as applying a standard alphabet and pronunciation scheme, but then you run into the problems with regional accent and dfferences in pronunciation of words - and that's before we address the issues of dialect where regional accents go one step further and adopt their own vocabulary, syntax, and grammar.
:-\ Not sure about that, I agree with the sentiments about pubs serving and thinking they're somehow "special" for doing so, but you can't beat some homemade wedges for a quick and easy snack. Coated with whatever seasoning you choose (personal preference is for a decent Cajun seasoning) Simple to do and tasty to boot.
Spelling - I mean the lack of proper rules for spelling words in the English language.
How can children be expected to develop a sense of right and wrong and respect for the rule of law when so many of the "rules" that they learn about one of our primary means of communication have so many exceptions? I blame this for the widespread attitude/belief that many people have which can be summed up as "it is wrong to X (insert act of wrongness here), unless I feel like it" and all the problems in today's society that result from such thinking. I mean look at this ridiculous legal system we have - all seems to be based around comparing situations to other situations and seeing if this one is exempt from the rules that apply to the others. Codify! I say.
Nowt wrong with grammar, that's proper rules that is.
Rules are not rules if they have exceptions.
Stupid spelling system into 101.
I've only just spotted this, and I feel compelled to reply.
I am of an age where children had the Initial Teaching Alphabet (ITA) imposed on them.
This was something which the "standardize the language" advocates, and their cohorts and acolytes in the "educationalist" wing of the teaching profession.
Something so wrong-headed as to be unbelievable, and had two [possibly even three?] consequences.
1. Children became illiterate, as a direct result of being transferred backwards and forwards between the two phonetic systems [and as a result created illiterate adults - in the sense they really couldn't read as a result of their experiences at school trying to deal with a dogmatic and inflexible system]
2. Children were not able to read books or newspapers - nothing was written in ITA - so the idea that reading for pleasure coulnd't take told - the only place to read was in school, where it was somewhere to learn.
(I'll accept it's not the same as applying a standard alphabet and pronunciation scheme, but then you run into the problems with regional accent and dfferences in pronunciation of words - and that's before we address the issues of dialect where regional accents go one step further and adopt their own vocabulary, syntax, and grammar.
An important part of schooling should also occur at home.
Its a shame not all parents take their responsibility in this area seriously.
I'll stand by my previous comments - ITA meant that this part of schooling - that of reading, and particularly reading for pleasure simply could not happen.
Books are published in English - not in ITA - and it meant that not only were books at home inaccessible, there was no opportunity for children to read more challenging texts the home might have had - they would simply be unable to understand them.
Mick McCarthy, and while you're at it Brian fucking Moore. Why are the BBC wasting my license fee on these utterly dire commentators? :shrug:
Just realised I can get 5 live commentary on the red button. Hallefuckinglula. Means I don't get HD, but I think it's worth it. :-\
I'd put anyone who thinks languages have 'rules' ( eg 'doesn't count as a sentence if the subordinate clause comes before the main verb even if not directly interfering with play') into room 101.
Rules are just simplifications of phonetic behaviour. We teach the idea to schoolchildren and some undergraduates rather than letting them know life is more complicated.
Mick McCarthy, and while you're at it Brian fucking Moore. Why are the BBC wasting my license fee on these utterly dire commentators? :shrug:
Just realised I can get 5 live commentary on the red button. Hallefuckinglula. Means I don't get HD, but I think it's worth it. :-\
Sorry, but those two are perfect human specemins compared to Andy Townsend. He is a cock of the highest order....
Not football related, and honestly I do wonder if this behaviour is isolated purely in West Cumbria.....I am stunned that anyone could be that stupid.
People who smoke, in petrol stations. Really.
I was filling up the other day in sunny Maryport with the family sitting in the car, I watched as a fat cunt drove in and pulled up next to me. His fat cunt son got out the car and shuffled off to buy some cakes probably. I then watched this twat flick his lit cigarette out the window of his car, whilst pulled up on the middle of a forecourt. I promptly informed this gentleman that his behaviour was not the norm, and not something I cared for with ones family sitting in the car. He swore at me once challenged, waited for lard arse offspring to return with said cakes then wheel spun off. Unbelievable. I get lost for words when stuff like this happens, how can someone possibly be that idiotic?
Brian Moore the football commentator was absolutely fucking useless but he's been dead for the best part of ten years so I think it would be a bit harsh to dig him up now and throw his decomposed corpse into Room 101.
Brian Moore the football commentator was absolutely fucking useless but he's been dead for the best part of ten years so I think it would be a bit harsh to dig him up now and throw his decomposed corpse into Room 101.
Oh arse - some one will be telling me that Nelson Mandela has been released from prison next... :-[
Every single poster on this thread:
http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/t.php?n=416210&v (http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/t.php?n=416210&v)
Every single poster on this thread:
http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/t.php?n=416210&v (http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/t.php?n=416210&v)
Except, perhaps the one who posted this "I hear all the chippys in Northumberland will remain closed, so there will be no fishies on the dishies till the moat comes in..."
A load of those fucking stupid lanterns floated over our way the other evening. One landed in our garden and I noticed it had "Just Married" written on it. "How sweet" I didn't think. Cunts.
A load of those fucking stupid lanterns floated over our way the other evening. One landed in our garden and I noticed it had "Just Married" written on it. "How sweet" I didn't think. Cunts.
Horse owners not picking up horseshit in woodlands, surely just as minging, or more so, as dogshit?
flying paper lanterns - what on earth are you thinking? ooh aren't they pretty floating away into the night to end tangled in a branch somewhere.
flying paper lanterns - what on earth are you thinking? ooh aren't they pretty floating away into the night to end tangled in a branch somewhere.
Valentines day....
Valentines day....
Valentines day....
Hearing you on that one! Fortunately, so does my missus ;D
:sorry: to resurrect this thread, but if I ever meet the person/s who thought the current Halifax adverts were a great idea, I'll break their noses. I have never harboured such pent up rage in all my life!
Wankers :furious:
Dont we (UK PLC) own the Halifax anyway?
Would rather the money went to decreasing the defecit:shit: :sick: that's a very scatological typo, Chris.
Still we might all have (pretty worthless) shares in them (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13884271).Seems like a pretty good idea to me. If HM Gov gives you some, I'd hang on to them for the long-haul OR emigrate. If Lloyds can't rebuild its business from current levels, then by association the country is also fucked, since Lloyds has a vast share of the UK's mortgages and deposits.
I'd like to make my debut offering to this thread the collected works of Paulo Coelho. Actually I have only read The Alchemist but I am confident the rest deserve the same scorn. Actually I haven't read The Alchemist either as near the end the ceaseless tide of whimsical idiocy so threatened my sanity that I feared I would squander the rest of days living in yurt in a New Mexico, hoarding crystals and hunting leylines whilst upsetting the wildlife with arrhythmic drumming on my bongos. Since then I have noticed a perfect correlation between fans of the Coelho'nsense and irredeemable stupidity. The man has almost 6 million fans on Facebook. That's really fucking scary.:agree:
Hope that didn't offend anyone ...
but could you not just ask to sit down?:agree:
This morning's nomination is those who sit on the inside seat (of two) on a packed bus/train carriage, reserving the window seat for their imaginary friend. In you go you selfish wankers.
Here we don't ask and just complain about it after..... :shrug:
but could you not just ask to sit down?:agree:This morning's nomination is those who sit on the inside seat (of two) on a packed bus/train carriage, reserving the window seat for their imaginary friend. In you go you selfish wankers.
Seen this on my travels and people just ask the person if they can pass them to sit in the window seat. Usually met with an obliging response. All very civilised. Here we don't ask and just complain about it after..... :shrug:
You would think people would work out that that seat next to them might come in useful for one of the 20 people swaying around in the carriage and do the decent thing before being asked though?
When I used to get the bus to work (1hr+ each way) I always put my bag on the seat next to me as it discouraged the schoolkids / stinking fat peasants / smoking chavs from sitting there unless as a last resort. Of course, if someone asked, I moved it but the technique certainly made for a more pleasant journey on many occasions.
I usually use the Sharpe 'maintain personal space and avoid nut jobs on the train seat strategy' too, but when its obvious there are no (or only a couple) of seats left in the carriage I put my bag away so theres obviously space... bag poker....
I nominate people who can't read and understand signs that say "Fire Door. Keep Shut" and insist on wedging the fucking things open. :read:
I nominate people who can't read and understand signs that say "Fire Door. Keep Shut" and insist on wedging the fucking things open. :read:
I have to admit that I do this ....... But when you're carrying heavy lumps of scenery into a building having to put them down , pick them up ad inffuckingnitum because of fucking fire doors wedging them open is the only way forward ....
Or tell everyone in a loud voice that they did some excrcise on the weekend and walked to the park with the kids; a whole two blocks! And expect praise for it.
You fat cunts.
You fat cunts.
:agree:
No, I'm not a pompus, pretentious git!and instead plump for use.
Sitck it in with the word iconic. Which gets used to describe just about anything at the moment.Pretty iconic word though 'iconic '
If anyone walks past in front of me trailing one I "accidentally" trip over it and give it a right good kick so they get the message.
Just be careful who is watching you when you do it. Although I did it in Schipol once and someone saw me do it and though it was hilarious.
It's a total mess and they know it:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/8672510/Tax-boss-says-sorry-for-poor-performance.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/8672510/Tax-boss-says-sorry-for-poor-performance.html)
This is one good bit of news with regard to HMRC though. Seen plenty of these letters, often chasing completely incorrect amounts:
http://www.totallymoney.com/news/index.php/2011/08/hmrc-told-to-stop-sending-threatening-letters-to-taxpayers/ (http://www.totallymoney.com/news/index.php/2011/08/hmrc-told-to-stop-sending-threatening-letters-to-taxpayers/)
Fucking Yahoo Mail and it's fucking forced fucking upgrade ....... The cunts have not only deleted all my messages , but all my contacts too ....... Cunts , cunts and thrice , cunts
Rather than having just one huge department, wiouldn't it make sense to split the tax-gathering part and the excise and duty levelling branches into two sepearate organisations?
It's a total mess and they know it:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/8672510/Tax-boss-says-sorry-for-poor-performance.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/8672510/Tax-boss-says-sorry-for-poor-performance.html)
This is one good bit of news with regard to HMRC though. Seen plenty of these letters, often chasing completely incorrect amounts:
http://www.totallymoney.com/news/index.php/2011/08/hmrc-told-to-stop-sending-threatening-letters-to-taxpayers/ (http://www.totallymoney.com/news/index.php/2011/08/hmrc-told-to-stop-sending-threatening-letters-to-taxpayers/)
Rather than having just one huge department, wiouldn't it make sense to split the tax-gathering part and the excise and duty levelling branches into two sepearate organisations?
right.. i"m f*ckin livid.
why the f8ck can not a primary school accept that a 10 yr old.. with chronic health issues so is used to self medicate.... go to school with some painkillers and antibiotics and thus not miss school
OK, so we'll have a sr nurse or consultant havin to take annual leave shall we??? good use of the public purse, NOT.
FFS...
I"M CROSS...
mad HSE / occupational health rules...... go 101... u bastards....
"It provided myself and my less time rich partners who flew out with an excellent value trip"
Email from someone at work: "Blah blah blah.....if you have any questions please contact myself."
Just NO!
"It provided myself and my less time rich partners who flew out with an excellent value trip"
Just NO!
What is wrong with me and I?
filed in alphabetical order by band then by album within bands.What!
filed in alphabetical order by band then by album within bands.What!
Alphabetical by band, sure, but then albums must be chronological obviously.
Alphabetical by band, sure, but then albums must be chronological obviously.
Is correct Grammar an OCD type thing? (I dont really care myself) - do you grammar police types line all your tin cans up facing the right way in the cupboard etc....?
Blimey! What did I start ;) re CD's, my ordering is scraping them together into some sort of pile if I'm lucky :)
Other than that colour is the way forward ;)
Blimey! What did I start ;) re CD's, my ordering is scraping them together into some sort of pile if I'm lucky :)
Careful, you'll start something about apostrophes as well!
Other than that colour is the way forward ;)
why the smiley? I spent a few years using colour, good system.
I keep Load locked away in the cellar, so that isn't a problem.
I hate bad grammar. People using me and I in the wrong way irks me, especially when people are trying to be posh with their "you and I" when it should be "you and me".
The one that gets me most annoyed is when people try to use different language because they feel that plain language sounds...I don't know - less businesslike? (i.e using myslef feels more intellectual than me, even when me is the correct word).
My CDs are in boxes in a cupboard.
The one that gets me most annoyed is when people try to use different language because they feel that plain language sounds...I don't know - less businesslike? (i.e using myslef feels more intellectual than me, even when me is the correct word).
It's risible, misusing words to try to sound clever. ''Comprendez?''
Je ne peux pas rester!
The sound of lips slapping, sudden rushed intakes of air like they haven't eaten in weeks, cutlery banging against teeth, slurping, snorting, GET SOME FUCKING MANNERS YOU TWATS!!!!!!!!!!!! :slap:
The sound of lips slapping, sudden rushed intakes of air like they haven't eaten in weeks, cutlery banging against teeth, slurping, snorting, GET SOME FUCKING MANNERS YOU TWATS!!!!!!!!!!!! :slap:
I used to be unable to eat with my mouth shot upto about the age of six. Doctors decided it was because I had large tonsils and adenoids. I then had them removed and ever since I could breathe through my nose whilst eating, thus keeping my mouth shut, avoiding lips from slapping and sucking in air.
Perhaps some people suffer from the same problem but have never had their tonsils and adenoids removed.
I might suggest this for mrsTT ;)
On overnight flights I don't even bother trying to sleep, just watch films and if i do doze off at any point it's a bonus.
G.O. fucking P.
Why the fuck does the Republican party suddenly need a fucking TLA (Three Letter Acronym)...
Grrrrrrrrr....
some of those should be captioned "Craig David loves Clenbuterol"
Paul Daniels needs to be dragged in here after spending tonight airing his utterly ridiculous opinions on flooding / the EA and river ecologoy. /rant
Insurance brokers. The high-end ones who peddle stuff like directors' E&O always seem like venal crooks who play up people's fear of liability and other litigation.
Insurances lawyers.
Each time we have a civil case in which there's an insurance that should cover the damage, they just show up in Court and say "this insurance does not cover this particular case".
Every fuc***** time.
People who don't pull over into the fast lane to let you out on a dual carriageway when it's perfectly safe for them to do so. Not sure if it's due to stupidity, laziness or a dangerous combination.Whilst it's courteus to move over they are under no obligation to do so, so it's a little harsh to call them stupid. The onus is on you to merge safely with the existing traffic.
People who don't pull over into the fast lane to let you out on a dual carriageway when it's perfectly safe for them to do so. Not sure if it's due to stupidity, laziness or a dangerous combination.Whilst it's courteus to move over they are under no obligation to do so, so it's a little harsh to call them stupid. The onus is on you to merge safely with the existing traffic.
People who trundle along in the outside lane of the dual carriageway with no-one in the inside lane and ne'er a junction in sight.Add to that the twats who can't leave the middle lane of the motorway, or lane 2/3 if it's the M1 near Leicester...
I think some drivers have a real problem being able to match their speed to the motorway speed on order to merge.A lot of people seem to dawdle down the sliproad at whatever speed they fancy, then seconds before joining the carriageway they finally check their mirrors and have a panic when they see that there isn't a gap waiting for them.
Though if it's a pokey small turn out then it can be a pain if no-one lets you out.
Worst though are tailgaters.
Tail-gating was pretty much my top reason for leaving the middle east (ie in order to stay alive). I was driving ~6 hours most weekends to go climbing, mostly on roads populated by spoilt local arab kids, in things like Range Rover Sports or Porsche Cayennes, who thought they were on a race track. And in the evenings - despite it being a theoretically muslim country - they were often also drunk. It was normal most weekends to at least once or twice be squeezed into the fast lane of a five lane highway by abruptly slow traffic, then tailgated by someone doing 160-180kmh with zero clearance whilst flashing their lights. The really nutty ones would not slow at all but pass you in the few metres of gritty tarmac by the centre divide if you didn't immediately pull over, regardless of whether it was safe for you to do so or not. Or you might be tailgated by someone being competitively tailgated in turn by some other loon. Or two or three of the fuckers would be racing, weaving in an out of all the lanes ...
After moving to Canada, it took about a year before I stopped having a stress response, if any car appeared in my mirror in the same lane.
People who have no manners in the University library...
Okay, so it's not silent study so you can call people. But there are plenty of places you can go to do it away from everyone else so you don't cause annoyance.
Even worse is the dick having a loudspeaker video call near me. If only I had a gun...
Worst though are tailgaters.
This x 1000. Glad I don't have to drive to work very often any more as even a couple of junctions on the M1 every day was enough to raise the blood pressure. :furious:
Worst though are tailgaters.
This x 1000. Glad I don't have to drive to work very often any more as even a couple of junctions on the M1 every day was enough to raise the blood pressure. :furious:
Easily as annoying as tail-gaters are those who slip up the inside and pull into the gap I've left. They incorrectly think I'm a dawdler, to prevent them coming in I have to close the gap and effectively tail gate otherwise you slide backwards up the queue.
This fucks me right off.
Worst though are tailgaters.
This x 1000. Glad I don't have to drive to work very often any more as even a couple of junctions on the M1 every day was enough to raise the blood pressure. :furious:
Easily as annoying as tail-gaters are those who slip up the inside and pull into the gap I've left. They incorrectly think I'm a dawdler, to prevent them coming in I have to close the gap and effectively tail gate otherwise you slide backwards up the queue.
This fucks me right off.
You could try just letting them pull in and not responding with some careless driving of your own? Just a thought.
Easily as annoying as tail-gaters are those who slip up the inside and pull into the gap I've left. They incorrectly think I'm a dawdler, to prevent them coming in I have to close the gap and effectively tail gate otherwise you slide backwards up the queue.
This fucks me right off.
Easily as annoying as tail-gaters are those who slip up the inside and pull into the gap I've left. They incorrectly think I'm a dawdler, to prevent them coming in I have to close the gap and effectively tail gate otherwise you slide backwards up the queue.
This fucks me right off.
Unfortunatly this behaviour means that if you want to practice defensive driving then you will inevitably be constantly "sliding backwards" on busy motorways/duals. You just have to suck it up and accept that to get somewhere safely means you won't get there as quickly.
People who have no manners in the University library...
Okay, so it's not silent study so you can call people. But there are plenty of places you can go to do it away from everyone else so you don't cause annoyance.
Even worse is the dick having a loudspeaker video call near me. If only I had a gun...
Tail-gating was pretty much my top reason for leaving the middle east (ie in order to stay alive). I was driving ~6 hours most weekends to go climbing, mostly on roads populated by spoilt local arab kids, in things like Range Rover Sports or Porsche Cayennes, who thought they were on a race track. And in the evenings - despite it being a theoretically muslim country - they were often also drunk. It was normal most weekends to at least once or twice be squeezed into the fast lane of a five lane highway by abruptly slow traffic, then tailgated by someone doing 160-180kmh with zero clearance whilst flashing their lights. The really nutty ones would not slow at all but pass you in the few metres of gritty tarmac by the centre divide if you didn't immediately pull over, regardless of whether it was safe for you to do so or not. Or you might be tailgated by someone being competitively tailgated in turn by some other loon. Or two or three of the fuckers would be racing, weaving in an out of all the lanes ...
Cool, where did you get to?
Cool, where did you get to?
4 days in Cape Town (amazing weather - 20-25 deg), 5 nights in a lodge in a private game reserve nr Hoedsprit, then a couple of nights in Hazyview to take in some of the Panorama region then back from Joberg... Great time.. I'll post up my lions mating video if theres popular demand ;)
Cool, where did you get to?
4 days in Cape Town (amazing weather - 20-25 deg), 5 nights in a lodge in a private game reserve nr Hoedsprit, then a couple of nights in Hazyview to take in some of the Panorama region then back from Joberg... Great time.. I'll post up my lions mating video if theres popular demand ;)
so why let the fucking char wallah answer the phone at all.
sort it fucking out and give me a curry.
that's an easy mistake - there are loads of fools who think that fish are vegetables
I am disappointed to discover that a selfie pole is not a device to directly enhance the masturbation experience
Cool, where did you get to? I think they were originally designed for snowboarding etc, but these dicks missed that point. I've never seem one used I'm glad to say
Are they not affiliated to justeat.com etc... so you can order online?? Anyway, could you not just get your secretary to order for you? ;)
THIRD alternative is go and order in person - then have a cheeky pint whilst waiting for it to be prepared....... (and you can point at the menu, gesticulate and shout loudly as required)
I quite often get a fish jalfrezi instead of a veg jalfrezi... due to ordering mix ups.. I love both :)
it's traditional
what have you got against tradition?
Selfie poles.
Right - just back from a lovely holiday in SA with MrsTT - and noticed for the first time the increased proliferation of 'selfie poles'... yes those extendable twat antenna that wankers stick their camera on the end of so they can take a picture of themselves (and significant other etc..) from a better perspective.
Now, I have history on 'selfies' - to be honest they stick in my craw a little - why the fuck not ask a stranger to take a picture of you instead (a symptom of modern society where no-one wants to talk to each other etc.. blah blah wanky rant etc..)... HOWEVER...
The selfie cunt stick takes this to a new dimension. Now, when at a.n.other tourist view point, spot etc.. you now have to put up with fucking fucktards waving their self indulgent photographic proboscis in your face... My cracking point was two German tourists who took 5 min trying to perfect the perfect selfie prick pole picture hogging a narrow viewpoint. In the end I just stood in between them until they fucked off.
OK, if you're making a downhill snowboarding dude style video fine.. its an effect.. a gimick.. a new angle.. but at every fucking picture opportunity....
I had a lovely time apart from this though ;)
Saw some twat today walking around with a selfie stick with his phone attached, he was walking with it held low while he was moving between shot locations. Hilarious because from the side-on view it looked like he had one of those joke invisible dog leads.
(https://richardwiseman.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/queen-vic2.jpg)She really ought to tuck that away.
Milton Keynes.
........They have a big gooutdoors and a cotswolds
Milton Keynes.
........They have a big gooutdoors and a cotswolds
They also have a decent independent with knowledgeable staff AND decent prices: https://www.theoutdoorshop.com/contact-us.html
Might help next time?
The most redundant phrase in the world - the part in brackets has no purpose "I(m one of those people who)like shopping"There you go
Someone who works with me is one of those people who says it all the time.
Whilst we're on annoying phrasing, can we get rid of people saying "yourself" when they actually mean to simply say "you" or similar variation.
Often said when somebody is at work and they're desperately trying to make what their saying sound more professional/scientific/complex. E.g "that would be up to yourself" or "we need to get that information from yourselves"
:wank:
Whilst we're on annoying phrasing, can we get rid of people saying "yourself" when they actually mean to simply say "you" or similar variation.
Often said when somebody is at work and they're desperately trying to make what their saying sound more professional/scientific/complex. E.g "that would be up to yourself" or "we need to get that information from yourselves"
:wank:
Absolutely. When talking to a group of people I say yous..
Is that your photo Will?
You've gone to an art gallery and taken a photo of someone taking a photo of a painting?
:wall:
that's nowt
I'm going out to Stanage to draw arrows pointing at tick marks
When people call a problem "soft", when in fact the problem is not soft but genuinely incorrectly graded.
When people call a problem "soft", when in fact the problem is not soft but genuinely incorrectly graded.
I recon that's a soft room 101 entry there.. ;)
Halloween
[emoji317][emoji317][emoji317][emoji317]
Bah humbug.
Does anyone have any advice on how to purchase a dining table made of actual wood that doesn't cost the earth?
Self service tills in supermarkets. Why the fuck?
Self service tills in supermarkets. Why the fuck?
so I don't have to listen to someone trying to do small-talk with me
"Solid wood" laminate dining tables. Cocksuckers!Buy the wood you want.
Does anyone have any advice on how to purchase a dining table made of actual wood that doesn't cost the earth?
Someone needs a holiday. Are you going anywhere nice this year?Self service tills in supermarkets. Why the fuck?
so I don't have to listen to someone trying to do small-talk with me
"Solid wood" laminate dining tables. Cocksuckers!Buy the wood you want.
Does anyone have any advice on how to purchase a dining table made of actual wood that doesn't cost the earth?
Buy 6 sash clamps (or borrow them from a school; you're a teacher?)
Glue then together.
Sand it.
Oil it.
Stick it on some legs/old table/oil drums
Eat dinner/relentlessly mark exercise books to prove you're doing your job
no
no
Please wait for assistance :wall:no
Beep. An unexpected ukb response is in the bagging area.
"Solid wood" laminate dining tables. Cocksuckers!Buy the wood you want.
Does anyone have any advice on how to purchase a dining table made of actual wood that doesn't cost the earth?
Buy 6 sash clamps (or borrow them from a school; you're a teacher?)
Glue then together.
Sand it.
Oil it.
Stick it on some legs/old table/oil drums
Eat dinner/relentlessly mark exercise books to prove you're doing your job
This.
Rent a Router too.
Woodwork soothes the soul.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Or just go an buy a table from Ikea.And while you're at it one of those black and white new York long exposure pictures too because they're as good as anything you'd get off a professional photographer. :tease:
The fuck are you on about? He asked for somewhere selling a table made from solid wood, and Ikea sells them.
The fuck are you on about? He asked for somewhere selling a table made from solid wood, and Ikea sells them.
Solid particle board. Their fanciest table boasts about having a layer of actual wood on top of the sawdust.
The fuck are you on about?
Or just go an buy a table from Ikea....you meant this
Ikea sells them.One is useful information, one suggests that you should be happy with any old shit. I drew a tongue in cheek parallel.
Today, Dick Pound, chairman of the World Anti-Doping Agency commission investigation into doping among Russian athletes, says the findings are "worse than we thought" and calls for Russia to be banned from competition.
Wada's independent commission examined allegations of doping, cover-ups, and extortion in Russian athletics, which also implicated the IAAF, the sport's world governing body. It also wants five athletes and five coaches to get lifetime doping bans.
The report, instigated after allegations made on German television in December 2014, also identified "systemic failures" in the IAAF that prevent an "effective" anti-doping programme.
Especially since his name presumably is Richard, and yet he's chosen to be known as Dick.He's American. if he were Charles, it would be Chip. That's how those folks roll.
Especially since his name presumably is Richard, and yet he's chosen to be known as Dick.He's American. if he were Charles, it would be Chip. That's how those folks roll.
Mud sticks. Even if he is a good guy there is doubt so he's got to go eventually. Bonkers.Especially since his name presumably is Richard, and yet he's chosen to be known as Dick.He's American. if he were Charles, it would be Chip. That's how those folks roll.
Back to business. Am I alone in thinking that Seb Coe -a man I quite admired for his achievements and his apparent integrity- is now a part of the problem rather than its solution?
Mud sticks. Even if he is a good guy there is doubt so he's got to go eventually. Bonkers.
Mud sticks. Even if he is a good guy there is doubt so he's got to go eventually. Bonkers.
In the context of athletics I don't doubt he's a good guy. He's a party man though, votes along party lines in the Lords and defends previous IAAF regime. Massive error of judgment attacking the German evidence. Killing the messenger instead of engaging with the message. We've all made blunders, but this one disqualifies him in my view as part of the ancien régime he was defending.
Sorry I can't get past "Dick Pound".
Back to business. Am I alone in thinking that Seb Coe -a man I quite admired for his achievements and his apparent integrity- is now a part of the problem rather than its solution?
Back to business. Am I alone in thinking that Seb Coe -a man I quite admired for his achievements and his apparent integrity- is now a part of the problem rather than its solution?
The man was a Tory MP and avid Thatcherite, how could he possibly have any integrity.
I can't buy more than 2 packets of ibuprofen but I can buy 2 litres of bleach for 28 pence :furious: :furious:
I can't buy more than 2 packets of ibuprofen but I can buy 2 litres of bleach for 28 pence :furious: :furious:There you go. Just use a different voice next time
I can't buy more than 2 packets of ibuprofen but I can buy 2 litres of bleach for 28 pence :furious: :furious:
People who address any group consisting of more than two people, as "guys"I'd like to apologies to the informal group of people whom I've referred to as guys...
:wank: :slap: :icon_321: :badidea: :thumbsdown: :wall:
People who address any group consisting of more than two people, as "guys"I'd like to apologies to the informal group of people whom I've referred to as guys...
:wank: :slap: :icon_321: :badidea: :thumbsdown: :wall:
I think it's context dependant. I agree that it can be used in a condescending/inappropriate way though.
What amazes me is that America has such a fucked up system that some rich buffoonish comb-over clown like Trump is potentially in the running to be head of state.
unless you consider wanting to fuck your own daughter to be a virtuePerhaps that's his attempt to win over the southern vote. Though to be accurate I think he said he'd like to bosh her 'if only she wasn't his daughter'.
Yeah but it's funny how the American dream doesn't extend to, say, one day just becoming head of the army with no military experience, or becoming a consultant surgeon with no medical training.
Gonna call your bluff there as technically the queen did serve in the ATS during WWII.
But of course that would be to ignore the glaringly obvious issue of her being a purely symbolic head of the armed forces. If Trump was destined to be a similarly symbolic racist moneyed-clown head of state who they just wheel out for the entertainment of visiting dignitaries (basically a septic Prince Philip) then I'd be less bothered.
It is surprising how clownish he is yet people still take him seriously - Farage might be our very English version, he's more 'clown lite' in a biplane. Still got a lot of British votes.
With Marie Le Pen across the channel and Putin in Moscow.
Oh happy days!
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It is surprising how clownish he is yet people still take him seriously - Farage might be our very English version, he's more 'clown lite' in a biplane. Still got a lot of British votes.
Think you've made a good point but picked the wrong example to make it - surely Boris is the de facto, nailed on, gold plated example for this one.
None of 'rich' buffoonish' or 'combed over' are deterrents to political leadership in any other western country.
Democracy
it doesn't work - shove it in the 101 bin
Apparently Donald Trump stands for mandatory V grades.
Are you really implying there is no happy middle ground between career politician parachuted into a safe seat straight out of a politics degree, and a bigotted billionaire trying to waltz into the whitehouse? Its not an either/or thing.
What amazes me is that America has such a fucked up system that some rich buffoonish comb-over clown like Trump is potentially in the running to be head of state. On the basis that he's got stacks of cash and nothing else to bring to the table, unless you consider wanting to fuck your own daughter to be a virtue. He's got no background in politics whatsoever, yet stands a chance of gaining arguably the most powerful political role on the planet. It's just fucked up.
Say what you want about reptiles like Cameron but at least we have a system whereby the vaguest veneer of credibility is maintained, i.e. he's had to actually do enough groundwork arselicking within a party to get parachuted into a safe seat and get elected and serve as an MP first, do some time in the system, put his cock in the mouth of the occasional dead pig etc.
Supposedly from an 18th century academic and primarily in review of the rise and fall of the Athenian Democracy.
"... with the result that a democracy always collapses over a loss of fiscal responsibility, always followed by a dictatorship."
you are clearly going to the wrong sort of "pub"
Better to turn the TV off than leave it on standby, and by always leaving the remote by the TV when its turned off you always know where it is when you walk in the room to watch TV and can just pick it up on your way to the sofa. Avoids the need to rummage down the side/back of the sofa muttering "Where's the fucking TV remote?".
Plus leaving your telly on standby all the time wastes leccy.
Better to turn the TV off than leave it on standby...
Better to turn the TV off than leave it on standby, and by always leaving the remote by the TV when its turned off you always know where it is when you walk in the room to watch TV and can just pick it up on your way to the sofa. Avoids the need to rummage down the side/back of the sofa muttering "Where's the fucking TV remote?".
Plus leaving your telly on standby all the time wastes leccy.
Hey but when we've Brexitted we can have power mad always on high wattage standby tellys again.
Today the customer isn't in, so we've had to scoop the offending articles up. And earlier in the week one cunt tried to argue that it was his garden, so he can do what he wants. Regardless of that fact, not picking shit up is absolutely unforgivable.
Dear god! Do people really do that?
Dear god! Do people really do that?
To what would you like me to revert?
I generally fall foul of them when our team at work goes for lunch somewhere together. There's one near the office which has (inexplicably. There are lots of other options) become the de facto leaving lunch venue. This week it was The Dormouse in York.
Those insanely bright headlights people seem to insist on having. I now have a considerable commute home once a week - two and a half hours - at night. I typically spend most of the journey half-blinded, even if I don't directly look in any of the mirrors - doesn't help they are often found on monster pickups and are thus directly at the level of the rear window. Over a long journey it gets incredibly tiring and stressful and they seem inescapable. Just why?
I generally fall foul of them when our team at work goes for lunch somewhere together. There's one near the office which has (inexplicably. There are lots of other options) become the de facto leaving lunch venue. This week it was The Dormouse in York.
It upsets me a little that the Cow and Calf pub is one of these. A location that iconic with so much passing trade should be easily runnable as a profitable independent surely? But then what do I know about running a pub.
Those insanely bright headlights people seem to insist on having. I now have a considerable commute home once a week - two and a half hours - at night. I typically spend most of the journey half-blinded, even if I don't directly look in any of the mirrors - doesn't help they are often found on monster pickups and are thus directly at the level of the rear window. Over a long journey it gets incredibly tiring and stressful and they seem inescapable. Just why?
Think you've hit on the answer - I don't think the lights are brighter per se (as I'm betting there's some legal limit on luminescence on a dipped beam bulb) - it's just that more people drive SUV / crossover / Quashqai type things that sit higher on the road.
I'm sure the Cow and Calf could be run profitably as an independent, but VI may have paid a high price to get it and their margins are likely to be higher than any independent could achieve. The beer that is available, for instance, is identical across all their outlets, so the bargaining power they hold with the brewery's must be huge.
And they'll probably be some sort of tilt up n down option control and they'll be all tilted right up all the time.Those insanely bright headlights people seem to insist on having. I now have a considerable commute home once a week - two and a half hours - at night. I typically spend most of the journey half-blinded, even if I don't directly look in any of the mirrors - doesn't help they are often found on monster pickups and are thus directly at the level of the rear window. Over a long journey it gets incredibly tiring and stressful and they seem inescapable. Just why?
Think you've hit on the answer - I don't think the lights are brighter per se (as I'm betting there's some legal limit on luminescence on a dipped beam bulb) - it's just that more people drive SUV / crossover / Quashqai type things that sit higher on the road.
I think the other thing with newer headlights is that they're a bluer light than old headlights which tended to be yellow-ish and the rods in the eye are more sensitive to the blue part of the spectrum.
e.g. the Spoons in Ilkley is a reasonable option for a lunchtime half (if only because its the only pub in Ilkley that has reasonable prices)
Those insanely bright headlights people seem to insist on having. I now have a considerable commute home once a week - two and a half hours - at night. I typically spend most of the journey half-blinded, even if I don't directly look in any of the mirrors - doesn't help they are often found on monster pickups and are thus directly at the level of the rear window. Over a long journey it gets incredibly tiring and stressful and they seem inescapable. Just why?
- doesn't help they are often found on monster pickups and are thus directly at the level of the rear window.
- doesn't help they are often found on monster pickups and are thus directly at the level of the rear window.
clearly time to get an even bigger monster pickup
Incidentally - Xenon headlights are not allowed to be manually height adjustable (in the EU) cars fitted with them have to have automatic levelling (normally a ride height sensor on the rear suspension) so should not be dazzling. I'm not sure if these rules apply to the new generation of LED headlights...
Incidentally - Xenon headlights are not allowed to be manually height adjustable (in the EU) cars fitted with them have to have automatic levelling (normally a ride height sensor on the rear suspension) so should not be dazzling. I'm not sure if these rules apply to the new generation of LED headlights...
That seems like the kind of rule that won't have been created in the States, because to do so would be a wanton infringement of freedom, and liberty and evidence of the Deep State gone power mad.
Pretty niche headlight banter this, but having had my Fabia fail MOT with standard foggy /cloudy headlight lenses, was bracing myself for the c.£90 a side cost of replacement.
Spoke to someone who recommended having a go at them with a bit of T-Cut, and hey presto - 10 mins and a bit of elbow grease later and they were back to clear again.
Pretty niche headlight banter this, but having had my Fabia fail MOT with standard foggy /cloudy headlight lenses, was bracing myself for the c.£90 a side cost of replacement.
Spoke to someone who recommended having a go at them with a bit of T-Cut, and hey presto - 10 mins and a bit of elbow grease later and they were back to clear again.
- doesn't help they are often found on monster pickups and are thus directly at the level of the rear window.
clearly time to get an even bigger monster pickup
Exactly. If everyone else has a gun, time to arm up ;)
(note smiley!)
Incidentally - Xenon headlights are not allowed to be manually height adjustable (in the EU) cars fitted with them have to have automatic levelling (normally a ride height sensor on the rear suspension) so should not be dazzling. I'm not sure if these rules apply to the new generation of LED headlights...
Niche headlight banter. Are you reading this, Chris Craggs? THIS is why we come to UKB.
I fucking hate this. Don't accept that they're mentally competent though...
Google tells me that the phrase originates in boxing. Hopefully the leadership contest will start with some sort of thunderdome style royal rumble.and be followed by tossing in a collective towel
There is seemingly no other possible metaphor in the English language for entering a contest than throwing one's hat into a ring.
People sat in parked cars with the engine running forthe air conany reason. Cunts.
I thought ‘in control’ was if your key was in the ignition, irrespective of the engine being on/off?
Valentines Day being extended to cover platonic and family relationships.
People on social media posting valentines wishes to their pets and babies, work colleagues putting “Happy Valentine’s Day!” in group emails like it’s Christmas, what the fuck?
Valentines Day being extended to cover platonic and family relationships.
People on social media posting valentines wishes to their pets and babies, work colleagues putting “Happy Valentine’s Day!” in group emails like it’s Christmas, what the fuck?
I got a teams message from my partner the day before; "we aren't doing cards or any shit like that tomorrow are we?" It only made me love her more.
Bouldering 'beta' videos where the climber is far too strong for the problem and flails around climbing it like absolute shit with crap beta but gets up it anyway on account of being far too strong. Not helpful!Funnily enough I was thinking this exact thing just a few days ago. I'm generally grumpy about underperforming comfort-zone dwelling wankers pissing up your projects as a warm-up anyway, but then simultaneously making a pig's arse of it whilst cruising it in a so-called "beta" video is even more bollox.
[quote author=Fiend link=topic=8473.msg692320#msg692320 date=1713293987]
[quote author=andy moles link=topic=8473.msg692286#msg692286 date=1713248528]
Bouldering 'beta' videos where the climber is far too strong for the problem and flails around climbing it like absolute shit with crap beta but gets up it anyway on account of being far too strong. Not helpful!
[/quote]
Funnily enough I was thinking this exact thing just a few days ago. I'm generally grumpy about underperforming comfort-zone dwelling wankers pissing up your projects as a warm-up anyway, but then simultaneously making a pig's arse of it whilst cruising it in a so-called "beta" video is even more bollox.
This was what got me thinking:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmvi7So8cZc&t=181s
3:01 - a classic soft 7A completely butchered by an 8A boulderer with hilariously bad beta skipping half the holds and burling through because the guy has 6 grades in hand.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyBeK5gYxmo&t=50s
0:50 - the same classic soft 7A (hopefully optimised) by a 7A boulderer who had to get everything right because he's climbing at his limit.
:-\
[/quote]
Also, hideously jarring choices of backing music. The sound of wind and small grunts is fine mate....soon.