[DaveC]

 

I've been trying to remember the name of that thing for ages so I could chuck it in here. Do you think some of the shitbags who use it could be done for breach of the Trade Descriptions Act? I mean they call themselves singers FFS!

Sloper?!

Anyone??!

[dave]

It sounded shit when Cher did it years ago

it made her sound like one of those "charlie says....." safety ads. Miiiaoimiaoaoa etc etc.

[Sloper]

I've been trying to remember the name of that thing for ages so I could chuck it in here. Do you think some of the shitbags who use it could be done for breach of the Trade Descriptions Act? I mean they call themselves singers FFS!

Sloper?!

Anyone??!

I think Milli Vanilli got done by the German authorities after they decided to believe their own hype and sing rather than mime.  Apparently it turned into a near riot.

[tomtom]

Isn't Autotune different from the voice modulator (I think) that Cher used etc,,? I had the mistfortune to hear Maria Careys new song and she was using one of those robot/warbaliser/modulator thingys...

[tomtom]

the phrase "going forward..."

I can handle 'moving forward' in small does, but as an example of managementeese it really annoys me. The only people who seem to use it are David Brent types who like to think they are being progressive when all they have done is had a self-help management book suppository.

[slackline]

You need to get yourself some Bullshit Bingo Cards Tom, they make meetings almost bearable.

[Houdini]

Ha ha, I've no problem w/ autotune as I don't listen to shit pop music, but yeah, slam it in.

[Sloper]

the phrase "going forward..."

I can handle 'moving forward' in small does, but as an example of managementeese it really annoys me. The only people who seem to use it are David Brent types who like to think they are being progressive when all they have done is had a self-help management book suppository.

The problem is with clients who expect the shite that spews from consultants and unless you too play the game they think they're not getting value for money.  I try to use clear, precise language however some time I end up shifting to a form of prose where I can get mutual buy in from key stake holders to engage in devloping step change systems to deliver KPI's in a customer focused non levered timely fashion.

But then again I do work with some cretins.

[SA Chris]

the phrase "going forward..."

Any managementese, including "the way forward" "low hanging fruit" and "take a view".

"Blue Ocean Thinking / Strategy" cropped up recently, but hasn't been used again since I stabbed the person in the face with the remains of the coffee mug I smashed in anger when I first heard it used, and saw the smug look on the person's face when I asked them what the fuck it meant.

(not really, but a man can dream)

[Plattsy]

"What are the next steps going forward?" 

I hate that question.

[Sloper]

You need to grow a pair son and respond along the lines of 'we need to reposition our core focus and deliver hard outcomes to place milestones for further review'.

[Bobling]

  Nice one Sloper.

[BB]

Can I sling in people who say espresso with an 'X' in it. for example:

"I say, might I have a lovely little cup of Expresso please Mrs. Miggins."

"Only if you stop displaying your ignorance and say it right, you dumb cunt."

[SA Chris]

Pretty sure that's in already. Remember dave ranting about it, or similar.

[Jaspersharpe]

Yes, it's in.

[dave]

yes "expresso" is in common rotation at my work. along with other gems like "escape goat".

[Drew]

Ok, I've had enough

Autotune, you're in.

I'd just like to point out that Bubba is not referring to the Autotune, who are a Sheffield based company, who can come and diagnose electronic problems with your car, and are in fact very good. Got them round the other day, and he found three faults with my car.

[Plattsy]

I'm gonna use that Slopes, cheers.

Had "starter for ten" twice already this morning. This isn't fucking Jeopardy!

[Sloper]

Starter for ten was universally challenged, Jeopardy allowed one to go for bigger points as I know from hours watching it as a kid in the US

[Plattsy]

 

This isn't fucking Universally Challenged.

Hmmm. Doesn't have the same ring to it.

"Line of sight" 

[cofe]

i'd like to chuck robert peston in. he's such a smug, condescending twat, and ever-so-slightly Grossman with his word emphasis. and he leads the charge in the BBC's policy of misery-promotion, which the licence payer is funding.

[tomtom]

i'd like to chuck robert peston in. he's such a smug, condescending twat, and ever-so-slightly Grossman with his word emphasis. and he leads the charge in the BBC's policy of misery-promotion, which the licence payer is funding.

I'm going to be controversial and disagree.. I think Pestons OK. A refreshingly shambolic presenter in a world full of 24 hour media plastic presenting..
such as... say one sentence, smile and shift 15degrees to left, say next sentence and pout awaiting reply - repeat until end of program (I love amanda panda btw!). Finally shuffle power shoulders and on to the weather... which is a small titted bird, so N.Ireland doesnt get obscured, who then will smilingly talk about lots of rain...

I like the way when live (as per last night) the viewer or presenter is never quite sure what he is going to say! Its all a bit random with Peston. Good. He got a bit pompus about 6 months ago and he disappeared up his own arsehole when he kept mentioning how be broke things in his blog yada yada yada. But now has returned to being a bit more shabby, with badly fitted suits and generally upholding his mild aspergers-esq presence. Dont forget he was fairly high up (editor?) at the FT before going to the BBC so he knows his cookies....

A character in a characterless media world.

[Richie Crouch]

Flavoured teas! What a load of gash 

[Drew]

Flavoured teas! What a load of gash 

As opposed to tea which has no flavour? 

I'm going to disagree on this one. Rooibos tea, or Raspberry & Echinacea are great if you don't want caffeine (if like me you actually get withdrawal symptoms when you don't drink it).

[nik at work]

The new fucking cunting tops of the squeezy bottles of tomato/HP sauce. The development of the squeezy bottle was a leap forward into a new age of sauce deployment. But now they've gone and fucked it with some pointless little plastic hygiene wodgit. This satans spawn of an idea means that unless you can close a captains of crush 3 you have no chance of getting anything out of the bottle at all. However if you have the misfortune of being blessed with the crush strength of a bear (or a handy vice lying about) then you will only succeed in exploding untold quantities of sauce all over everywhere apart from where you want it. Leading to a half hour cleaning session by which time my fish-finger sandwich is all cold and a bit soggy.
Twattery.