[SA Chris]

people who wear stupid hats (especially fleece dinosaurs, tea cozies and peruvian pointy things that they bought on their gap year)

So true, especially when skiing. Normally middle aged souther twats and their teenage sons. They stand in the lift line and when they see you look at them they give a big grin, as if they are sharing a joke with you, meanwhile all you can think about is how far you would like to shove it and their hologram goggles up their stupid arses. Along with this season's X Screams they are are using, which cost a fortune, but they haven't got a fucking clue what to do with them.

[Bonjoy]

 I can just about tolerate people shouting 'Allez!'. What get's me is people saying 'bloc' without a hint of irony instead of 'take'.

[Simon S]

The Portland Rockfax guidebook-so inaccurate, mistakes on virtually every page!

Tourists at Cheddar Gorge who are incapable of communicating with each other without shouting. 

Wire brushing where it is inappropriate (plus on climbing walls-why?? It reduces the friction!!!)

[Moo]

People who make almost no effort when they're spotting you, fair enough if they don't commit to try but i have a mate who wil regularly let me run off the mat when he claims to be watching me

[AndyR]

people who wear stupid hats (especially fleece dinosaurs, tea cozies and peruvian pointy things that they bought on their gap year)

Cunts, the lot of them.

Those tedious types who feel that being unbelievably tight, just for the sake of it, is part and parcel of being a climber....
'30p for a mug of tea!? Do you think I'm made of money......'

They should all be melted down and turned into bars of soap.

[Yossarian]

i will also add...

stroppy prima donnas who get all worked up when you come within a pads radius of them and their "impossibly hard" problem

cheesy-footed frenchmen who warm up on that nice looking 7b that you had your eye on, but are now rapidly going off because they climbed it bare-foot and now all the jugs are smeared with greasy sweaty eau de pied

people who are really friendly and nice and sickeningly talented who cheerfully say hello and ask you if you're having a good day, and offer you some really tasty fruit cake, and then climb something unbelievably hard with no apparent effort and then pick up some litter and then say "cheerio then" and leave you struggling on some piss easy problem thinking "am i retarded? do i have no talent at all? maybe i should give up and instead spend my weekends in a darkened room cultivating some unhealthy dietary habits and watching football."

[Simon S]

people who wear stupid hats (especially fleece dinosaurs, tea cozies and peruvian pointy things that they bought on their gap year)

Cunts, the lot of them.

Those tedious types who feel that being unbelievably tight, just for the sake of it, is part and parcel of being a climber....
'30p for a mug of tea!? Do you think I'm made of money......'

They should all be melted down and turned into bars of soap.

 

[rich d]

The way it always rains on my days off.
Climbers who when you say "morning" look at you like you've just asked to shag their grandma

[Nibile]

i hate when the fox that always comes around when were bouldering looks in the packs and steals one boreal matrix, the disappears in the woods, forcing me to seek and hunt with only one shoe on.
that was a nice evening.

[Nibile]

seriously,
i hate when (strong) climbers come to your local venue, ask you the complete sequence (hands and feet) for the hardest problem, without even looking at it.

[squeek]

i hate when the fox that always comes around when were bouldering looks in the packs and steals one boreal matrix, the disappears in the woods, forcing me to seek and hunt with only one shoe on.

Ha ha ha, it must smelt tasty.

I wasn't best pleased when I took half a day off work, and in the first half it wasy dry cool and sunny, then after I'd driven 40 miles to go climbing it started blizzarding.  But, that's British weather for you.  Least with all the precipitation we don't have droughts.

[Aussiegav]

People who make almost no effort when they're spotting you, fair enough if they don't commit to try but i have a mate who wil regularly let me run off the mat when he claims to be watching me

i'd give your mate a good slap around the chops and tell him get it together.
bad spotting as a bad a sin as dodging your round of drinks

badspotting shits me...
those that are like the above mentioned, and those that touch you every time you cutloose.
what really gets me is when somebody claims a problem when they have been touched by the spotter when swinging

[Fiend]

any of the following is, elitist, over the top, personally insulting, or complete nonsense.

The very essence of a great topic!

This should be a sticky 

[webbo]

adverts with good songs advertising shit.these make me climb like a fanny.


twats with out cars who get you to drive 15 miles out of your way to pick them up and them don't offer you any petrol money.

[Nibile]

i hate climbers who always complain:

about being weak
about being injured
about having no time for climbing
about living close to bad climbing

regardless of situation

[Fiend]

Well I could only think of a few off the top of my head...

People who top-rope stuff that could be onsighted.

People who headpoint stuff that could be onsighted.

People who don't think that style and ethics are important.

People who try to defend shoddy ethics with bollocks cries of "elitism" and "I can do what I like" - if you don't understand fucking give up climbing.

People who climb routes purely because of their grades/stars/history/popularity etc, and not for genuine desire.

People who solely buy Rockfax guides.

People who solely buy Rockfax guides and actively refuse having other guides bought for them as a present.

People who climb at the same old places all the time and don't understand what climbing there is elsewhere.

People who think Eastern Grit is all there is and and can't conceive of climbing beyond Burbage Popular End.

People who refuse to accept climbing is challenging and expect results to be handed to them without any effort.

People who can't just admit when something is too hard for them.

People who try to bring a route down to their level rather than bringing a themselves up to the route's level.

People who can't just admit they are scared and slag off trad or roped climbing instead  of just saying they're too scared to do it.

People who draw tickmarks on holds that are visible on Google Earth.

People who don't brush off chalk.

People who moan about others using chalk and claim it's just psychological when they're clueless fuckwits who don't understand that other people actually sweat.

People who do routes above a huge stack of pads and then claim the original route grade rather than a highball grade and post photos "John Bollox on Sketchy Grit Solo E5 6a" when there's enough pads for them to reach the finishing holds.

People who use all sorts of devious tactics to avoid a route's challenge instead of tackling it.

People who pose all the fucking time down indoor walls - yes, you poncy fucking kid down The Edge, I'm talking to you.

People who can't enter into a discussion without ignoring the issue at stake and resorting to personal abuse.

People who can't take jokes / wind-ups and have their heads up their puckered areas.

The cock who put the tickmarks on The Knock.

People who come up with shite like "If you ain't flying you ain't trying" without realising that not everyone fits into their daft little pigeonholes.

People who maintain that trad is really dangerous.

People who prove them right by being incompetent fuckwits and placing shite gear and hurling themselves off routes like lemmings.

Little kids who can't type properly, probably can't speak properly, and almost certainly can't think properly given the banal drivel they write.

People who are fucking robots and don't understand that other climbers might 1. have emotions and 2. be influenced by their own psychology.

People who are socially inept or lazy to the point of just grunting.

People who aren't opinionated enough and don't care about any climbing issues.

People who climb gritstone in summer.

People who expect me to climb gritstone in summer.

People who specifically put their rockshoes on to belay - if they're comfortable enough to belay in you might as well climb in fucking wellies.

People who faff around all the time, doing everything by the book and with maximum anal retentiveness just  to reduce climbing time.

People who steadfastly stick to a rigid climbing plan despite shit weather and better options elsewhere.


Edit: There might be a few more I've forgotten or that have been covered already.

[Bubba]

People who try to defend shoddy ethics with bollocks cries of "elitism" and "I can do what I like" - if you don't understand fucking give up climbing.

Climbers who try to force their own ethical code onto others

[Fiend]

People who try to defend shoddy ethics with bollocks cries of "elitism" and "I can do what I like" - if you don't understand fucking give up climbing.

Climbers who try to force their own ethical code onto others

Wankers the lot of them!

[cofe]

People who climb gritstone in summer.

does wimberry count fiend...? 

[Fiend]

Errrr yes well, high moorland grit is an exception of course  ???

[Stubbs]

People who climb gritstone in summer.

 

We don't all sweat from our hands like fat men in saunas.

[Houdini]

People who refuse to accept climbing is challenging and expect results to be handed to them without any effort.

People who maintain that trad is really dangerous.

Yep.  Seen these two far too often.

And people moaning about reach, you hear Katz moaning about reach? 

[Duma]

yes, you poncy fucking kid down The Edge, I'm talking to you.

People who can't enter into a discussion without ignoring the issue at stake and resorting to personal abuse.

People who solely buy Rockfax guides and actively refuse having other guides bought for them as a present.

Jesus, you know people like this? cunts.

[a dense loner]

quality fiend

[fatboySlimfast]

yes, you poncy fucking kid down The Edge

  to fucking right