[Oldmanmatt]

Now if we could have a system where accreditation at one wall meant that you could climb at another wall, that would be worth having.

Be careful what you wish for...

License to climb anyone?
Have you paid you dues this year?
Can I see your insurance, sir?

I would miss the verbal brief, if we switched to a vid; mainly because I quite enjoy telling people they might die...🤡

[Oldmanmatt]

Doesn't have to be a long, unskippable, video you buttsniffer. It's indoor bouldering, not rocket science. A brief series of images / instructions:

1. Warm-up.
2. Don't leave belongings on the mat.
3. Don't have metalwork attached to you.
4. Look before you pass under someone.
5. Look before you start a problem next to someone.
6. Downclimb as far as you can before dropping off and look below you before you do so.
7. Don't lounge underneath problems.
8. Respect other wall users.

It took me less than 6 minutes to type that and a hell of a lot less to read it. Other walls can manage with stuff that simple, so anything more convoluted should be an option for the climber, not a requirement.

You forgot all the bits about death and serious injury, which are actually the most important bits.
And taking off rings.

[teestub]

And taking off rings.

 

Tried to politely warn a guy at a London wall about the whole degloving thing as he was lurching for jugs. He said he’d rather take the injury than take his mum’s ring off, I suggested maybe taping over it as middle ground!

[andy popp]

I would miss the verbal brief, if we switched to a vid; mainly because I quite enjoy telling people they might die...🤡

Last time I had to listen to the verbal brief at a wall I started getting all disgruntled and irritated ("don't you know I've been climbing approximately 200 years etc. etc."), but then realized that was a really snotty attitude; the employee was just doing their job, didn't know me from Adam, and had no particular reason to trust that I knew what I was doing.

[Fiend]

You forgot all the bits about death and serious injury, which are actually the most important bits.
And taking off rings.

The death and stuff is in the massive disclaimer thing that we don't ever read, ofc.

[Oldmanmatt]

You forgot all the bits about death and serious injury, which are actually the most important bits.
And taking off rings.

The death and stuff is in the massive disclaimer thing that we don't ever read, ofc.

Over the years, I think I’ve seen an inkling of your sense of humour; I can imagine you gleefully explaining the consequences of not removing rings to the mother of little Farquaad and Fenella...

[mrjonathanr]

Maybe he did know of you Andy and thought you were some mentalist Brit?   

I propose we give free rein to Fiend to write a standardised disclaimer and then roll it out to every wall in the country. That should address overcrowding issues nicely.

[tomtom]

Thinking about Yossarians Q7 joke earlier in the thread. This morning when I was with the lad for a toddler climbing thing at the depot (Manc) I only spotted one Q7 but there was a 69 plate range rover and a 19 Tesla model S....

Don’t think there were any owners present either 😃

[Offwidth]

Doesn't have to be a long, unskippable, video you buttsniffer. It's indoor bouldering, not rocket science. A brief series of images / instructions:

1. Warm-up.
2. Don't leave belongings on the mat.
3. Don't have metalwork attached to you.
4. Look before you pass under someone.
5. Look before you start a problem next to someone.
6. Downclimb as far as you can before dropping off and look below you before you do so.
7. Don't lounge underneath problems.
8. Respect other wall users.

It took me less than 6 minutes to type that and a hell of a lot less to read it. Other walls can manage with stuff that simple, so anything more convoluted should be an option for the climber, not a requirement.

That's pretty funny as the the bouldering videos you think are completely shit include quite a bit more stuff that is important. Notably: how to try to fall if you come off unexpectedly; the dangers of watches and jewellery; some words about spotting (best not to unless you really know what you are doing); keep a close eye on kids as they get easily distracted and can disbehave; training boards are for experienced climbers and will very likely injure new climbers; don't use the very top of the wall; beware of spinning holds; what to do if you see an injury or dangerous behaviour; politeness to others like chalk use and beta spraying; then how the problems are set and what constitutes success......  and I'm sure others can come up with more.

On point 4 some do look before they pass under others anyway... when they try it with me I stop and make the point my mass will cause them a mighty mess if I slip, but it's really not funny and I've seen the person falling from a problem hit the moron and get injued as a result (frankly the moron deserves any injury).

[Fiend]

Tomtom - they must have been part of OMM's fleet and bodyguards, on a research visit.

There were several topless males present later, all singular sedate and sensible. Apart from some twat in hideous shorts and stockings wtf if he really wants to cool his hands down take the fucking stockings off instead of his vest, what a noob.

[Fiend]

the the bouldering videos you think are completely shit

They might be bafta-award-winning documentaries on "Modern Tropes In Interpersonal Interactions In The Indoor Climbing Community: An Educational Investigation Into Optimum Behaviour Methodology" but that doesn't mean I nor anyone else with half a brain needs to sit through literally entire minutes of them when I could be spending my time more usefully stripping off to my underpants and campussing up and down jugs until I'm boiling enough to drip a veritable lake of oily sweat in your likely landing zone.

Thank fuck I haven't yet found any cross-over with obligatory-video-nonsense indoor walls and must-keep-tops-on-and-train-badly indoor walls, my poor wee brain might explode if I did 

[Muenchener]

Maybe he did know of you Andy and thought you were some mentalist Brit?   

Quite. Given what foreigners generally think about British climbing, he probably heard the accent and assumed Andy was actively looking for opportunities for death & serious injury.

[Oldmanmatt]

Maybe he did know of you Andy and thought you were some mentalist Brit?   

Quite. Given what foreigners generally think about British climbing, he probably heard the accent and assumed Andy was actively looking for opportunities for death & serious injury.

He just thought Andy was Fiend.

[tomtom]

😱

[Fiend]

How rude, you apologise to Andy right now!!

[GraemeA]

didn't know me from Adam,

You look nowt like Ondra.

(Unless Ondra has grown a massive beard in the last fortnight)

[tomtom]

I’ll add one to the list.

Groups of people sat in the middle of the mats clearly having a social/gnatter and not climbing - when it’s busy and there’s a whole empty seating area 5m away....

[GraemeA]

I will add another couple to the list.

Adjacent businesses abusing my staff before we are even open for our customers parking in their space.

An ex-adjacent business having a go at an Emergency First Responder for parking in their space. Said First Responder was dealing with a chipped vertebrae so a broken back. When told that a flashing blue light means you can park anyway grumpy old twat said "well hurry up then"

[highrepute]

; or for that matter when they go to a beach or swimming pool?

They go to the woman's only swimming session.

[WilliCrater]

I can understand people being put off by a bunch of nobhead posers, but can't understand how someone minding there own business without a shirt on could be seen as offensive.

You've clearly never seen me with my shirt off, especially after the abdominal surgery.

[Stu Littlefair]

I'm 50/50 on whether I like this thread.

On the one hand, it's good to have somewhere to rant about the pair this weekend who would tie on, in front of the line I want to try, and then have a 15 minute natter without pulling on. Occasionally the "leader" would turn to grasp the starting holds. Seemingly this was done only to create false hope, since he would turn back and raise a new topic of discussion instead. 

However, the day before I had my burns ruined by a combination of humid, sticky conditions and a new-found paranoia about taking my top off for optimum cooling.

 

[Fiend]

You've clearly never seen me with my shirt off, especially after the abdominal surgery.

Do it!! Extra bonus points for anyone with deformities or surgery scars who is in there cranking still 

Stu - great call on the first one there.

[Fiend]

Another completely unacceptable sin against decency and any form of wall functionality: NOT HAVING BRUSHES ON STICKS to clean off the higher holds - this means you @manchesterdepotclimbing . The person who made that decision should be taken to a normal wall that does have brushes on sticks, get one inserted Vlad-The-Impaler style, and have their face used to clean the toilets.

[Oldmanmatt]

Another completely unacceptable sin against decency and any form of wall functionality: NOT HAVING BRUSHES ON STICKS to clean off the higher holds - this means you @manchesterdepotclimbing . The person who made that decision should be taken to a normal wall that does have brushes on sticks, get one inserted Vlad-The-Impaler style, and have their face used to clean the toilets.

We do, however, I had a complaint once; because someone was convinced they were going to end up impaled as you described, while someone else was using it...

[Fiend]

Hmmm yes. Might need an extended 12 minute video on brush-stick ettiquette. Preferably in full VR.