[lagerstarfish]

When I lost a big chunk of hand in Thailand (falling off a cliff into the sea trying to escape from curious sea snakes whilst fishing on my own miles from anywhere)

Sorry mate but to me that's an even funnier mental image than the cock in yoghurt story. 

I will probably told you that story before, but most likley we were both very drunk etc.

[Jaspersharpe]

Expect so. The good thing is you can tell me it again and neither of us will remember. 

[lagerstarfish]

Wish I had an E1 11 . . .

do I win £5 ?

[Houdini]

You get to kiss it better    Tis but a scratch!

[lagerstarfish]

I've seen worse injuries from playing video games 

[Houdini]

Shut up!  Shut up!  It's the angle of photo!  Shut up!   It's very ouch!  

[SA Chris]

If you haven't got antiseptic powder, use chalk. It's known for its healing properties

[Houdini]

I'm off to the apoteke! 

[lagerstarfish]

I'm off to the apoteke! 

What?! In your condition! By your self? Is that wise?

Who's a brave little soldier? 

[Houdini]

You're right, what was I thinking?!

*calls ambulance*

[lagerstarfish]

If the ambulance crew won't take the risk of having you in their vehicle, I can lend you the money for a taxi.

[Houdini]

No need.

I'm writing this from an air ambulance.  Never been in a chopper before!  Woooooo Woirlyboids!   I'm booked in to see a world famous plastic surgeon in Lichtenstein.  He's confident he can save the hand!

[lagerstarfish]

He is a man, barely alive. We can rebuild him. We have the technology!

[Houdini]

Looks great, hope it's good on crimps 

[lagerstarfish]

There is always the option of a toe graft...

http://www.videosift.com/video/Eel-bites-off-divers-thumbgets-replaced-by-toe

The first 3 mins are pretty dull, but the rest is very relevant

[Houdini]

Man that is just *shudder* yuk!

[lagerstarfish]

How is it now? 

[Bubba]

'Him indoors' once chopped some fiery chillis, then forgot about it, got in the shower and washed his bits....

I've been there - was cooking some Thai for my parents when i nipped upstairs for a piss. Used wrong hand. Bad idea.

I spent the next 20 mins crouched in the bath with a wet flannel around my todge and Ms Bubba spraying my member with the cold showerhead whilst my parents roared with laughter downstairs....

That's a nasty finger Houd, get well soon!

[meatball]

I've had a very similar incident with ralgex. Spent the next 5 hours in hostpital. Bubba, i know where your comming from!!

[Houdini]

Oh the thumb is fine!  In the end it was a cunning combination of antibacterial powder and good old elastoplast that did the job. 

Cheers for the powder tip.  When I chopped myself infront of Fraudini I was all:  Pah, it's just a scratch! (Rather like the Knight in Holy Grail who is quadra-stumped.)  So I just wrapped it in some stuff from the medicine cabinet (and got on w/ the cooking) unfortunately this was absorbent wadding and had to be soaked then ripped-off *bites fist* next day    So great!

Means I can't go swimming though    Really must learn to chop stuff properly and w/ something smaller than a cleaver.  It's quite lucky really as it's very sharp and w/ the force I chop w/ it would've taken the bone . . .

Another plus is that Fraudini doesn't moan about my wine drinking and asks if it feels any better today.  I intend to milk this fully, in fact I'm off to the wine shop immediately 

[adam p]

Not cooking injury, but kitchen......wiping work surface after a hangover fry up on sailing boat last summer.

I managed to rip out my thumb nail, spent the next three days dosed to my eyeballs on paramol (to be recommended) and beer, with thumb bandaged, taped and shoved firmly into sailing glove to staunch blood....

this was taken ten days later after tape holding it down fell off during a nasty sprag went wrong...that hurt too...

...was going to post a thumbnail {yeah, i know} but hey here's the full size pics

[Paz]

Have you still got it adam - you could invert your thumb and draw eyes and a nose on your  tip and put on a fucked up puppet show.

Houdini I scraped off my whole fingertip (off Satin) once.  I think you want to go to a nurse/ doctor, but it sound like that's what you've done.  To be honest that's just more helpful than essential.  If it doesn't get infected and you keep it clean, then like Tom Hanks said in Dragnet `Kids, it'll grow back'.

Chilli eyes, yes, you only make that mistake once.  The most amusing cooking injury I ever did was when I tried to impatiently separate out a pair of frozen beef burgers by stabbing the gap with a sharp knife.  the knife went through one of the burgers and into the palm of my hand. Then get this, it went out again, then back in again, so it was like stitched into my hand!  Thankfully it was only a skin deep injury.

[adam p]

Have you still got it adam - you could invert your thumb and draw eyes and a nose on your  tip and put on a fucked up puppet show.

hahaha, would've been be great! next time...and i post the pic....

once got frustrated trying to remove the stone from a less than ripe avocado with a blunt spoon.....so sensibly got a big knife instead to lever it out....managed to jab down, skim round the stone and veer off at speed straight through the webbing between first and second fingers of avocado-holding hand....went down about three quarters of a centimetre....hurt like f&*% but managed to get plenty of ghoulish kicks showing people before nurse stuck the stitches in....

[Houdini]

That thumb pic is just horrid!  I bet that hurt so very fucking much.   It grew back OK?

Paz - No, I nursed myself.  No Doctors.  Doctors cost €30 a visit for me and I know how to put a plaster on.

[adam p]

yeah, cut it right back and a new one grew underneath and the old bit fell off....all fine now...freakishly, several girls in the office, once they'd got over the ugliness, seemed to take an ongoing interest in its demise and regrowth...