[robertostallioni]

" what do Submarines and the French Navy have in common? Both are full of seamen and at the bottom of the sea!"

Well it works, but it's not very funny now Gareth.

[GCW]

Bit like the old one about a whale's cock and a submarine.

[tomtom]

They were only year 8 - however old that is!

[slackline]

They were only year 8 - however old that is!

On average one year older than year 7 and one year younger than year 9. 

[GCW]

They were only year 8 - however old that is!

So they are old enough to know all about paedophilic rape and murder, but not about submarines?  Is this a Scunthorpe joke?

[tomtom]

They were only year 8 - however old that is!

So they are old enough to know all about paedophilic rape and murder, but not about submarines?  Is this a Scunthorpe joke?

Close - the school is in Hull...

Year 8 is 12-13 year olds...   

Surely that's meant to refer to submarines?  Be a pretty shit fleet if all vessels were at the bottom of the sea.

I think thats why they are referring to the 'french' navy rather than British... implying that the french navy are shit and all sunk etc... rather than being submariners.

  and    to you all in equal measure, and  and  to myself for replying!!

[Johnny Brown]

A horse goes up to Sophie Ellis Bextor in a bar: "Why the round face?"

[lagerstarfish]

[GCW]

There's a new whisky on the market, it's 60% proof and blows your head off.

They've called it the Raoul Malt.

[SA Chris]

What do you call a hot gir with two cunts

















N-Dubz

[lagerstarfish]

You are what you eat

[Jaspersharpe]

What do you call a hot gir with two cunts

















N-Dubz

The trouble with that joke is that the gir(l) is a total cunt too.

[SA Chris]

Thanks for the post joke analysis Mr Logic.

[Durbs]

A lot like the older version from mid-90s

Q: What do you call a dog with 5 dicks?



A: Mariah Carey & Westlife.

[dave]

A lot like the older version from mid-90s

Q: What do you call a dog with 5 dicks?



A: Mariah Carey & Westlife.

or Lulu & Take That.

[grumpycrumpy]

A husband and wife are filling in a questionaire in Hello magazine to find out if , after all their years together , they're still compatible ..... Their answers are fairly similar , until they come to a question which asks ' Have you ever urinated whilst taking a shower ? ' ........ The wife immediately ticks no ...... The husband ticks yes ......

'You've urinated in the shower ? ' ......
'Yes dear , but it was an accident , sometimes a bit of piss leaks out whilst I'm having a shit ' ...... 

[Mike Tyson]

I met a girl in a pub last night and we ended up going back to her house.

After a few more drinks, we started kissing and having a bit of foreplay on the sofa.

She looked at me and said, "Let's take this upstairs."

I said, "Okay, you grab one end and I'll grab the other."

[slackline]

I met a girl in a pub last night and we ended up going back to her house.

After a few more drinks, we started kissing and having a bit of foreplay on the sofa.

She looked at me and said, "Let's take this upstairs."

I said, "Okay, you grab one end and I'll grab the other."

Thats what you should have done 

[Jaspersharpe]

Bloke goes into a pub and there's a horse serving behind the bar and chatting to the customers.

The bloke stands there looking gobsmacked and the horse says, "What's up mate? Have you never seen a horse pulling pints before?"

Bloke says, "It's not that, it's just I never thought the parrot would sell up."

[Mike Tyson]

I met a girl in a pub last night and we ended up going back to her house.

After a few more drinks, we started kissing and having a bit of foreplay on the sofa.

She looked at me and said, "Let's take this upstairs."

I said, "Okay, you grab one end and I'll grab the other."

 
Thats what you should have done 

[Moo]

just finshed a stint working in scotland with a few glaswegian neds, they had a belter of a chat up line

roses are red
violets are blue
i've got a knife
now get in the fucking van

[SpanishJuan]

 I was trecking through the jungle when i came across a pygmy standing next to a dead elephant. I asked him what had happened and he said that he had killed it with his club. I said to him that he must have had a big club? In which he replied "yes, there are about fifty of us in it."

[slackline]

I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."

[205Chris]

What's the difference between Futurama and JLS?

There's only one bender in Futurama.

[john horscroft]

Emo Philips jokes, love 'em...

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon....