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only joking (Read 366726 times)

Jaspersharpe

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#1050 Re: only joking
May 16, 2014, 01:46:59 pm
Ha ha! Cheers.
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tregiffian

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#1051 Re: only joking
May 16, 2014, 03:24:41 pm
The chemist not only offered contraceptive advice but also low price vasectomy. Looked like a snip to me.
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tomtom

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#1052 Re: only joking
May 16, 2014, 03:30:30 pm
Quote from: tregiffian on May 16, 2014, 03:24:41 pm
The chemist not only offered contraceptive advice but also low price vasectomy. Looked like a snip to me.

A cut above the rest.. in the face of some stiff competition.
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tomtom

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#1053 Re: only joking
May 16, 2014, 03:31:06 pm
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Jaspersharpe

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#1054 Re: only joking
May 16, 2014, 04:01:53 pm
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Bear Grylls.

Fuck off you cunt.
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jern

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#1055 Re: only joking
May 17, 2014, 10:27:04 am
I've been reading this book about Stockholm Syndrome. I hated it at first, but now I'm starting to really like it.
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slackline

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#1056 Re: only joking
May 27, 2014, 12:33:52 pm
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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James Malloch

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#1057 Re: only joking
June 09, 2014, 12:07:27 pm
A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage.

"No", replies the photon, "I'm travelling light".
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tomtom

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#1058 Re: only joking
June 16, 2014, 11:27:21 pm
There's a guy who works down the prosthetics shop - that swears he's a pelvis.
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Fultonius

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#1059 Re: only joking
July 04, 2014, 09:34:24 am
How much does a hipster weigh?








An instagram.
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grumpycrumpy

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#1060 Re: only joking
August 13, 2014, 10:35:58 pm
I was walking through a churchyard the other morning when I noticed a bloke crouching behind a gravestone .......

'Morning' I said ..........

'No, he replied, just having a crap' .......
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Oldmanmatt

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#1061 Re: only joking
August 15, 2014, 10:08:18 pm
New Vatican blessed Super Heroine!

Our Lady of the EU!

With wrist mounted water cannon (for quelling Euro zone riots).

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dr_botnik

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#1062 Re: only joking
August 15, 2014, 10:31:16 pm
Police have removed a large amount of material from a house belonging to Cliff Richard.

Finger's crossed it's just child pr0n and not another album.
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tomtom

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#1063 Re: only joking
August 17, 2014, 10:38:20 am
I just bought a load of Harry Potters DVD's from the pound shop.

They were only a Quidditch.
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dr_botnik

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#1064 Re: only joking
August 18, 2014, 09:17:55 am
Do you know the difference between a lentil and a chickpea bruv?

A: I don't pay £100 to have a lentil on my face!
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Sloper

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#1065 Re: only joking
August 26, 2014, 08:46:40 pm
A moral dilema, you're out taking photos of surfers in Cornwall and you see David Cameron getting swept out to see on a vicious rip, you need to decide what to do, do you rummage around in your bag for your mobile or do you take the shot, probably the biggest shot of your life, the last moments of the Prime Minister.

You need to think and think carefully before answering:
.
.
.

.
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.

.
.
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.

.

Do you go for colour or a moody black and white shot?

(apologies to anyone else who heard the root of this joke on R4 this evening, although I'm sure it was originally ripped off from C0ckfax)
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Palomides

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#1066 Re: only joking
August 27, 2014, 08:58:46 am
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…

followed by Batman
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tomtom

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#1067 Re: only joking
August 27, 2014, 09:05:56 am
That's good - though the way I sing it there should be a d in front...
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a dense loner

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#1068 Re: only joking
August 27, 2014, 09:36:43 am
I don't get it?
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Oldmanmatt

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#1069 Re: only joking
August 27, 2014, 10:29:51 am
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tomtom

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#1070 Re: only joking
August 27, 2014, 10:34:38 am
Quote from: a dense loner on August 27, 2014, 09:36:43 am
I don't get it?

Do you like Bananarama? If so - think about what they say before 'Hey hey hey, Goodbye'....
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Jim

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#1071 Re: only joking
August 27, 2014, 10:48:32 am
thank god for that, I thought I was just stupid. Still don't get it
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tomtom

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#1072 Re: only joking
August 27, 2014, 11:07:02 am
Bananarama fan? If so think what they said before "Hey hey, goodbye"...
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Oldmanmatt

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#1073 Re: only joking
August 27, 2014, 11:54:09 am

Quote from: tomtom on August 27, 2014, 09:05:56 am
That's good - though the way I sing it there should be a d in front...

You could alternate sets of Dysprosium and Sodium...
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a dense loner

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#1074 Re: only joking
August 27, 2014, 11:59:42 am
Why would I know a bananarama song I'm 42 and have a penis
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