[Alex Smurthwaite]

Boards varying angles
Campus board
Fingerboard
Weights?

[nai]

private membership to exclude punters

[fried]

kid's parties?

[k2ted]

Quality coffee or other stimulants

[jfdm]

Big banging toons, lots of dnb/jungle rather than house/techno/pop.

[remus]

Scatty old sofa to mong around on in between burns.

[tomtom]

No ventilation or heating.

All climbing mags must suffer from random graffiti (e.g. moustaches, fake boobs etc..) on people in pictures.

[jfdm]

No ventilation or heating.

All climbing mags must suffer from random graffiti (e.g. moustaches, fake boobs etc..) on people in pictures.

Surely windowless, basement/bunker venue is a given.

[Alex Smurthwaite]

All holds must be named!

[nai]

Only one wall needs to be named and it should be named The Wave.

Lots of psyched friendly people is bonus too.

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[petejh]

Electricity, anything else is gravy

[dave]

Banisters.

[Doylo]

A poster of Jerry.

[Alex Smurthwaite]

Posters of anyone that you'll never be as good as!

[Oldmanmatt]

Posters of anyone that you'll never be as good as!

That's a lot of people.
It would need to be a very big room.

[moose]

At least one woodie, 30-50 degrees, with bad footholds and a permanent array of handholds.  Preferably hiddenn away in a dedicated room to avoid crowding by kid's parties etc.

[TobyD]

Only one wall needs to be named and it should be named The Wave.
Lots of psyched friendly people is bonus too​

Yup. The foundry is nearly the perfect venue. I can't believe you've all missed the most important thing a training venue needs... Attractive members of one's preferred gender. I always pull down much harder if I'm desperately trying to impress a lass.

[tomtom]

Only one wall needs to be named and it should be named The Wave.
Lots of psyched friendly people is bonus too​

Yup. The foundry is nearly the perfect venue. I can't believe you've all missed the most important thing a training venue needs... Attractive members of one's preferred gender. I always pull down much harder if I'm desperately trying to impress a lass.

Shirley that a a distraction.. they should be like a monastery. Worshiping the crimp and the G only...

[nai]

I can't believe you've all missed the most important thing a training venue needs... Attractivemembers of one's preferred gender. I always pull down much harder if I'm desperately trying to impress a lass.

That sort of reasoning could make the Mini Works the perfect venue, lots of attractive mums who are very easily impressed.

[andy_e]

A poster of Jerry.

A shrine to Johnny G.

[Monolith]

Various posters of old men in erotic positions. If it's a wall for Doylo you're building?

[Eddies]

No heating and a strict 'No feet on the timber holds' policy

[Fiend]

Skin friendly holds.

By far the most important.

[cjsheps]

A "No Yoga" policy.

[user deactivated]

 A freakishly strong climber who can do at least 7 one armers on a sloping jug.

Edit: and posters of Jerry and Bruce Lee

[Duma]

This pic of Moon on Agincourt
http://ukbouldering.com/board/index.php/topic,23409.25.html

[monkoffunk]

No cake. I do enough will power training at work.
No exercise classes. Why are you stretching under the board when there is a whole world of space you could be stretching in not under the board?

[36chambers]

a steep board with a catalogue of hard problems to work through.

and someone strong enough to make the hard ones look piss.

[andy_e]

No matching, no thumbs, no drop knees or heel hooks. No massive slopey blobs.

[andy_e]

An entrance exam which determines whether you're worthy to train on it.

[Alex Smurthwaite]

What would the exam consist of?

[SA Chris]

Guns. Lots of Guns.

[tomtom]

An entrance exam which determines whether you're worthy to train on it.

Isn't that what all this lattice gubbins is about?

[neilslim]

Fully stocked bar? 

[nai]

An entrance exam which determines whether you're worthy to train on it.

Isn't that what all this lattice gubbins is about?

Someone could do 100 moves on a Lattice but that doesn't tell you whether they'll draw foot long tick marks, brush their chalk off, confess to a dab or clipstick the second.

[remus]

An entrance exam which determines whether you're worthy to train on it.

Isn't that what all this lattice gubbins is about?

Someone could do 100 moves on a Lattice but that doesn't tell you whether they'll draw foot long tick marks, brush their chalk off, confess to a dab or clipstick the second.

Perhaps this would be a good addition to the lattice test!

You're board scores and finger strength scores are exemplary, so physically you are more than capable. However we note you indicated that you have recently dabbed on a problem and tried to pretend it didn't happen, and were observed to be using excessively long tick marks. This demonstrates a lack of moral fortitude. We recommend 50 hail marys and a course of therapy with Malc.

[TobyD]

An entrance exam which determines whether you're worthy to train on it.

Isn't that what all this lattice gubbins is about?

Someone could do 100 moves on a Lattice but that doesn't tell you whether they'll draw foot long tick marks, brush their chalk off, confess to a dab or clipstick the second.

Donkey lines, not brushing, lying/decieveing, all not cool. Clip stick whatever you want, as long as you are honest. You were probably just joking but I'm now particularly interested in trying to stop people being sniffy about stick clipping. Sorry, rant over!

Re your previous post, sounds like I need to get me down the mini works.

[tomtom]

An entrance exam which determines whether you're worthy to train on it.

Isn't that what all this lattice gubbins is about?

I was being sarcastic btw...

Anyway - no one has mentioned attire yet. I'll start with Lycra.

[nai]

You were probably just joking but I'm now particularly interested in trying to stop people being sniffy about stick clipping. Sorry, rant over!

Yes, it was meant to be a joke but you are right that it didn't belong in that list.  Apologies.

 

[Oldmanmatt]

An entrance exam which determines whether you're worthy to train on it.

Isn't that what all this lattice gubbins is about?

I was being sarcastic btw...

Anyway - no one has mentioned attire yet. I'll start with Lycra.

It is unclear if you are for or against, or if your predilection runs to all genders ...?


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[tomtom]

Lycra for any gender. I have no preferences - but don't own any...

[nai]

I don't own any...

Thankfully for the rest of us


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[tomtom]

I don't own any...

Thankfully for the rest of us


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Indeed. Baggy Lycra.

[alx]

I would love a system where I could walk over to my finger board, select a load to add to me like the opposite of a cable lat pull down machine and hang. No more cheese wire groin anguish or people getting pissed all the weights are with one person.

[jfdm]

I don't own any...

Thankfully for the rest of us


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Indeed. Baggy Lycra.

Dress to impress door policy at wall - Ron Hills with foot stirrups so they don't ride up. Climbing with socks/boots combo also on list.


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[andy_e]

What are you all talking about? The only permissible attire is boxers and rock boots as per Jerry.