[SA Chris]

I was once asked by one of two walkers on the way up to Cratcliffe- "is that some kind of tripod?"

Not being arsed to explain I just said "yes, I'm going up to take some photos"

As I walked away I heard the one who asked tell the other one "see I told you".

[nik at work]

Whilst halfway up that arete in the back of Ilkley quarry (Guillotine??):

Little Boy: "Daddy will that man hurt himself if he falls off there?"
Daddy: "No son he will probably DIE"

[reeve]

Whilst halfway up that arete in the back of Ilkley quarry (Guillotine??):

Little Boy: "Daddy will that man hurt himself if he falls off there?"
Daddy: "No son he will probably DIE"

I've had an almost identical experience in that quarry, a young lad shouting across to his family that "if that man falls from there he will die"
Fortunately I was on the VS s-crack, so probably a little less distracting than it was for you.

[Nibile]

when asked about my crashpad, I often reply that I am narcoleptic.

[BB]

I was once asked by one of two walkers on the way up to Cratcliffe- "is that some kind of tripod?"

I don't follow. Did you have your massive rat out?

[nodder]

Whats that mat for?

We're making gay outdoor pr0n.

[tomtom]

when asked about my crashpad, I often reply that I am narcoleptic.

  superb answer Nibs, now can you provide us a translation of that in italian - then I can really confuse people when walking to the crag

[Nibile]

when asked about my crashpad, I often reply that I am narcoleptic.

  superb answer Nibs, now can you provide us a translation of that in italian - then I can really confuse people when walking to the crag

"sono narcolettico"
 

[Nibile]

the other day, at the wall, two guys were deciding whether to boulder or spor climb:
"today I won't be getting on the cables"
"me neither"

[SA Chris]

I was once asked by one of two walkers on the way up to Cratcliffe- "is that some kind of tripod?"

I don't follow. Did you have your massive rat out?

Hey, I don't mind getting it out and showing, it's the rolling it up and putting it away again that's the hassle.

[BB]

I was once asked by one of two walkers on the way up to Cratcliffe- "is that some kind of tripod?"

I don't follow. Did you have your massive rat out?

Hey, I don't mind getting it out and showing, it's the rolling it up and putting it away again that's the hassle.

I still don't follow, but I'll roll with it and say...

Is it so big that you need straps to haul it around on your back?

[SA Chris]

Are we talking at cross purposes? I had a bouldering mat, which they thought was some kind of tripod.

[BB]

Are we talking at cross purposes? I had a bouldering mat, which they thought was some kind of tripod.

Complete misunderstanding. I thought you had your cock out. 

[iain_cbr]

Loving the bluntness!

[Muenchener]

My girlfriend to my mate, years ago, watching from the other side of the quarry while I was soling Millwheel Wall:

G: "I wish he wouldn't do that"
M: "Because you love him?"
G: "No, actually, but I still don't want to see him hurt himself"

She didn't think I could hear .... or perhaps she did. At any rate the relationship didn't last long after that.

[SA Chris]

Are we talking at cross purposes? I had a bouldering mat, which they thought was some kind of tripod.

Complete misunderstanding. I thought you had your cock out. 

No, but oddly enough they both did.

[lagerstarfish]

Whilst halfway up that arete in the back of Ilkley quarry (Guillotine??):

Little Boy: "Daddy will that man hurt himself if he falls off there?"
Daddy: "No son he will probably DIE"

I've had an almost identical experience in that quarry, a young lad shouting across to his family that "if that man falls from there he will die"
Fortunately I was on the VS s-crack, so probably a little less distracting than it was for you.

I had a similar experience soloing around the quarry

"Dad, has that man got bigger muscles than Mr T?"

I didn't, and never have.

[SA Chris]

Did you say "No, Fool!"

I can remember once being distracted by a cute little toddler wandering around the bottom of the right hand bit of Harrison's going "bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger" to herself.

[hairich]

saltbeefs explanation of the pad question always cracks me up.

with total deadpan face to questioner "its my portable kidney dialysis machine"

[205Chris]

Can't remember where I heard this but:

Random stranger "What's that thing on your back for"

Boulderer "It's in case I fall off when I'm climbing"

Random Stranger (after a brief pause to think about it) "What happens if you fall on your front?"

[jowgli]

rambler: why don't you get a ladder?

climber: why don't you get a car?

rambler: befuddled 

[Nike Air]

Can't remember where I heard this but:

Random stranger "What's that thing on your back for"

Boulderer "It's in case I fall off when I'm climbing"

Random Stranger (after a brief pause to think about it) "What happens if you fall on your front?"

Classic!

Once someone asked if my pad was a mobile disco , is that what one looks like?

[chillax]

Once someone asked if my pad was a mobile disco , is that what one looks like?

You didn't have a mirror ball hanging off it did you? 

I've been asked if mine was a parachute, a hang-glider or an easel before. How a pad might look like an easel I have no clue 

[andy_e]

R-Man and I once told a woman whose stables we walked past that they were horse-traps.

[Sloper]

'who's that fat bastard'? heard repreatedly from about 1994 to date.  Never seen the chap in question.