[tomtom]

'who's that fat bastard'? heard repreatedly from about 1994 to date.  Never seen the chap in question.

Are you sure it wasnt "Daddy, why is that boulderer wearing brogues"? 

[rodma]

Not at the crag, but pad related.

Was stopped at customs in Dover on the way back from Font with my car (Pug106) rammed with camping gear, Metolius xxl and one of those old S7 pads with the target on.

Customs officer: What are those for, sleeping on?

Me: Their for falling on when you climb without ropes.

Customs officer: They look well worn!

Me: Yeah

Customs officer: You must fall off a lot then?

Me: yeah

Customs officer: I take it you're not very good at climbing.

Embarrassingly, I tried to explain. I should have let it go really 

[BB]

'who's that fat bastard'? heard repreatedly from about 1994 to date.  Never seen the chap in question.

Are you sure it wasnt "Daddy, why is that boulderer wearing brogues"? 

Daddy? Isn't it really awkward climbing with a croquet mallet?

[andy_e]

A brilliant one from a child who was part of a school group, overheard at Brimham yesterday, referring to Tom above a sketchy landing: "that man's making history."

[philo]

that reminds me actually, went to font and on the way back we put shoes and trousers in the back (that looked like peoples feet sticking in the air and out of our bouldering mats).  Even had to go through that car scanny thing but they didn't even pull us for it?

[Eddies]

Whist walking with my pad to Gents rock in the Churnet Valley I was asked if I had caught any fish.
No tackle.... just a mahoosive landing mat!!

[GCW]

I got asked if I'd been paragliding on Saturday.

[andy_e]

To be fair, that was your bingo wings they were referring to.

[GCW]

Nice one, Nemo

[benj_d]

not overheard and not at the crag but fits the theme...

Was sitting at having a break and a drink at the local wall and this long haired lad was stretching as part of his warm up and then suddenly started doing these kung fu/marshall art moves seriously, totally distracted me while i was talking to a friend and found it very hard not to laugh 

[milksnake]

A friend of mine was carrying her crash pad through the airport and she overheard an old lady syaing "why has that woman got a matress strapped to her back?"
She turned round and replied: "Do you mind? I'm working."   Made me chuckle

[Norton Sharley]

not overheard and not at the crag but fits the theme...

Was sitting at having a break and a drink at the local wall and this long haired lad was stretching as part of his warm up and then suddenly started doing these kung fu/marshall art moves seriously, totally distracted me while i was talking to a friend and found it very hard not to laugh 

Wow there, that was JB doing his yoga.  You could upset people on here talking like that.

[philo]

not overheard and not at the crag but fits the theme...

Was sitting at having a break and a drink at the local wall and this long haired lad was stretching as part of his warm up and then suddenly started doing these kung fu/marshall art moves seriously, totally distracted me while i was talking to a friend and found it very hard not to laugh 

he wasnt called dave was he?

[benj_d]

dont know phil, it was at durham. He wasnt a particularly good climber (without being mean ), probably a student from durham uni, had shoulder length brown hair.

[Will Hunt]

Not at the crag but in Leeds Uni Union.

A: I shagged Jack last night.

B: Jack wasn't out last night...I think he went home for the week.

A: Oh my God! Well if it wasn't Jack then who was it?

[Wood FT]

Classy

[andy_e]

I tend to avoid the union for this reason. Students make me very angry.

[slackline]

I tend to avoid the union for this reason. Students make me very angry.

Get used to it, there are dicks in all walks of life, regardless of whether they are studying or not.

[andy_e]

I tend to avoid most walks of life too.

[Jim]

I tend to avoid the union for this reason. Students make me very angry.

why, because you might get laid by accident?

[slackline]

I tend to avoid the union for this reason. Students make me very angry.

Or perhaps you don't want to bump into Jack? 

[Paul B]

Pushy parent numero uno:

"Teenage girls reach their maximum aerobic capacity aged 13 years" as she listed what her daughter (likely 12 years old and therefore nearing her peak) was doing each night that week.

[Grubes]

I tend to avoid the union for this reason. Students make me very angry.

Or perhaps you don't want to bump into Jack? 

or perhaps he was 'jack' for that one night and does not want see her (/him) again?

[andy_e]

Or perhaps it's because I might get arrested for punching a lot of idiots.

[slackline]

Or perhaps it's because I might get arrested for punching a lot of idiots.

Is that a euphemism?