Does Boris Johnson die his hair? Has David Cameron a small cock? Can Theresa fart the national anthem - backwards?
Anyway, what count hacked my Skype account this afternoon and had a load of conversations with my contacts?
Is it true that the sight of wallnuts causes erectile dysfunction for Nick Clegg?
Why does Dutch food always make me fart loads?
How come I was sat next to the worlds most fidgety passenger on a flight back from Amsterdam today?
Why did Easyjet announce on my outward and return flight that because there was someone on boat with a nut allergy - all but containing products had to be kept in the overhead lockers??
Maybe Nick Clegg was on board.
Am I one of the few people in the UK who don't really find Monty Python especially funny?
I'm bored now.