UKBouldering.com
the shizzle => shootin' the shit => Topic started by: witb994543 on November 27, 2013, 11:53:11 am
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I'm posting on here using a 'nom de guerre', partly through shame and because I want to speak freely.
Does anyone have advice or has anyone been through something similar...
I never thought I had a drink problem, I've always been the life and soul of the party, or so I thought. Ever since being young I've been known to have a drink in my hand, getting bladdered was just what everyone did, right? Which was fine during uni, and even a bit after, but slowly people started to grow up and reduce or cut it out, act responsibly. Moderation.
Not me. Every opportunity to have one too many has been taken up. Getting pissed has always been normal. Egging people on, topping glasses up, shots before pints etc...
All of my biggest regrets have come from drinking too much, things I say, things I do, apologies I have to make. Feeling shit. I don't drink every day, I'm not physically dependent, but I can never have just one. Psychologically dependent? Maybe, I don't know. My life seems punctuated by "I didn't mean it". But I do it again.
I've never been anyone else.
I've recently come to a point very close to losing everything.
My drinking has come to a point where I've hurt those closest to me one too many times.
So, I've decided to try to pack it in, but I don't know how to be in those situations and not have a glass in my hand.
I don't have coping strategies.
I've never been a non-drinker. How do people deal with this?
Advice?
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Since UKB is currently being spammed, could you just reply in a way to show you're made of less processed meat.
Cheers.
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I trust the OP is genuine. Otherwise it is one of the most convoluted and brilliant ways of getting me to buy viagra / invest in a Nigerian bank ever.
No personal experience on this but I do have a long term friend who regularly went off the rails at uni, mostly on drink. His solution was simply to give up completely - he's had a couple of periods in the decade since where he's done some social drinking with a partner, but aside from that has stayed tee-total. That seems to be the way for him, not even one little drink (apart from the odd San Miguel 0,0%), and he stays out of trouble that way rather than occasional drinks in moderation (which is what I do).
GL.
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Since UKB is currently being spammed, could you just reply in a way to show you're made of less processed meat.
Cheers.
I am, it appears, a human being...
albeit struggling at the moment.
Thx Fiend
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PM lagers as he's a specalist in the Alcohol treatment field. See the thread on mental health if you don't know who he is.
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Hi Webbo,
Thanks, I'll make contact with Lagers, I do know who he is, hopefully he has some good advice. :)
If anyone else has experience, I'd be interested for strategies,
Thx
WITB
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I'm not an expert, just someone with some overlapping experiences.
I too used to be the one fuelling the pub crawls, encouraging acts of drinking bravado, and ending up with similar regrets.
There was a time in my life where alcohol actually helped me with some serious issues around repression. More generally, it can have positive effects as a social lubricant and a form of catharsis.
It is also an extremely toxic and harmful drug which does a huge amount to harm the physical and mental health of people in the UK and elsewhere. In the UK it's quite easy to sleepwalk into an alcohol problem because so much of society is either on the edge of one, or living in one already. I saw numerous friends at uni fucking things up with alcohol. I followed suit.
I originally quit alcohol because of my mental health. These days, I'm doing a little better mentally - partly as a result of avoiding alcohol, but the thing which stops me drinking now is my physical health. Health problems originally brought on by alcohol abuse have been kicking back over the last 15 months, sometimes meaning I can't exercise, and it's now highly inadvisable for me to drink.
As I say, this advice is largely just from my own experience. Take it or leave it.
You need to think rationally about your situation to avoid temptation and to make your life better:
Ask why you're drinking and face up to the underlying issues. Are you looking for friends, feeling lost, depressed, stressed, trying to escape? It can be different for everyone, but there are often underlying issues which lead to alcohol abuse.
Realise that alcohol is a highly addictive drug and creates dependence physiologically, but also psychologically, replacing friends, counselling or more healthy forms of escapism and relaxation.
Be totally honest about the harm it's doing to your relationships. Also consider looking into the physical harm it can do in the long term. Got gastritis yet?
So, now you're committed to avoiding alcohol, here's my take on how to do it:
Avoid bars altogether. What's the fucking point anyway? Find something better to do.
If you want to 'go out' to meet people socially, go to the pub. The culture is less based on alcoholism and a wider range of drinks are considered acceptable. I tend to go for a pack of crisps and a blackcurrant&soda, and anyone with a problem can grow up. You may prefer coke, as this weaker drug is considered more socially acceptable. As I mentioned above, society is fucked.
Get into alternative drinks, even tea, coffee and whatever else to provide alternatives, for around the house as well as elsewhere.I went through a ginger beer phase, a DnB phase, a cloudy lemonade phase, drank shitloads of them - it meant I had a pint of something to hold/neck when I had mates round.
Do more exercise. It gives you reason to stay healthy, keeps you busy and provides catharsis and then relaxation via endorphins. Yoga is good for the mind, or try running, preferably in the hills.
Find new hobbies and interests to replace the one you're losing. Take up photography, or blogging, or whatever the fuck you fancy. I study a lot.
Make friends who aren't going to try to get you to drink or pull you out into environments you don't want to be in (bars, clubbing?). I'm not saying to get rid of friends, but it can sometimes be worth pushing out into some new social circles where drinking isn't such a big thing. Also, think about being honest with your friends, certainly anyone close to you. Tell them your drinking was becoming a problem, or that it was worrying you, or that it was turning you into a dick. Perhaps give them a time-frame they can understand - "I'm not going to drink for a year".
Use the time to focus on and invest in relationships that matter, including family. This will increase chances, of love, fulfilment, happiness etc. Relationships can be very grounding. In the case of significant others, this also has the added bonus of increasing possibility/rates of sex. Which is nice.
Most of all, just make sure there's someone you can talk to about it. Family, partner friend, counsellor, fuck me even a vicar if that's your bag.
Be proud of yourself.
:2thumbsup:
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I've no personal experience to share on this - sorry -
but starting this thread - asking the question - strikes me as a really important step.
Good luck.
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Psychomansam:
Thanks for your reply, it really is helpful to know I'm not the only one to have fucked up sometime. And I really think I've fucked up this time.
The foreseeable will be trying to repair some of the.damage I've caused other people.
It's going to be a long road but total avoidance is the only way for me, I know I can't stop once I've started, so I can't have any at all. For me I know this will be hard.some good practical stuff there too.
Thank you
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I've no personal experience to share on this - sorry -
but starting this thread - asking the question - strikes me as a really important step.
Good luck.
Thanks TomTom :)
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Not sure what else I can say other than best of luck and be strong. Going to be especially tough for the next month, but keep reminding yourself why you are doing it.
Also I think the "nom de post" is probably unnecessary; everyone here is open-minded and supportive, especially when it's "one of our own", but obviously it's your choice. Shout if you need a stern talking to, I'm sure someone on here can talk sense into you, or take you climbing.
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Never had a medical diagnosis of alcoholism but used to drink a lot, daily, and like you it caused issues.
Also had several episodes of issues with "other" drugs (ending in various types of strife including broken relationships, court appearances, criminal record and massive debt) and did undergo counselling for this, free, through a recovery charity. It was unbelievably helpful. I would thoroughly encourage you to seek professional help of some form. Am sure Lagers can point you in the right direction...
As other have said, props for taking the biggest step and saying you have a problem.
Best of luck...
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in reply to SA Chris and Fatneck:
Hi Chris, I suppose this problem for me is pretty personal and I can't much deal with people knowing right now. I posted for the very reason that UKB is a supportive place and I can rely on non-judgement or at least silence if people think I'm a dick.
It's just that I'm not ready. I want to have achieved something before opening up I think.
Trigger points are going to be hardest, gatherings, work trips will be a test, Fridays, Saturdays, and meeting up with certain friends is pretty much a no-no.
Thanks for your advice, it really does help.
I'm trying to tackle it in my usual way by throwing myself into having a detailed plan (spreadsheet and Gantt chart overkill?) and getting a bit OCD about avoidance, trying to ignore temptation as much as I can. Keep my mind active. Most the time it's ok. Evenings are shit but I'm trying to focus on the fact that I've been given a chance to make a positive change, looking forward as much as possible, but having different (better? :shrug:) expectation of life without it.
Each day and all that shit. I need to get used to it.
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I had my last drink 22 years ago. There are very good reasons for that, which I'm not going to share here as I don't feel that it's appropriate. Suffice to say, I've been exactly where you are now so I know what you're going through. Don't make the mistake of thinking you can sort it out on your own. You can't. You need help. The good news is that there's plenty of help available out there. You have made an important first step admitting you have a problem. Good luck my friend.
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+1 in the encouragement stakes. First step is the most imporatant.
I've got 2 friends who are/were in a similar place. One in particular sounds very similar to your situation. Doesn't have to drink, but when they do, they go big. Without fail.
They've asked me before how I go out and don't get twatted, and I summed it up by saying "I don't go out to get drunk", which is what they definitely do. Both of my friends who did this - one has completely stopped drinking, he just can't (for whatever reason) do moderation.
The other is considering it.
So, sorry, no advice from you, but a reassurance that you're not the only one :)
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What tc said. Seek professional advice.
Respect for making the step.
In an Internet communication culture of less forums and more superficial social media I think you will find the little niche that is UKB a supportive community.
People only get hot under the collar about donkey marks, chipping, grading systems and how cook cheese on toast.
God, I still love this place.
Good luck mate.
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firstly - my own drinking behaviour is odd, but I'm OK with it - I really, really, really enjoy booze and it causes me relatively few problems overall.
So, I've decided to try to pack it in, but I don't know how to be in those situations and not have a glass in my hand.
I don't have coping strategies.
I've never been a non-drinker. How do people deal with this?
Advice?
socialising without alcohol when it has been your way for all your adult life? it won't come easy - sam's advice to avoid certain situations (at least for a while) is spot on. however, with hard work you will be able to enjoy such occasions without drink. it will take time and you will, at times, lose sight of the whole point of trying. have a script prepared so you don't have to think of how to respond to offers of drinks - go as far as visualising yourself turning down free booze - even practice saying stuff out loud at home.
I have a few potentially useful things to say - without having a person in front of me to structure my approach, this may come out a bit disjointed - I present no science here, just what I think works
stuff I think
you can change the way you behave and this can also change the way your emotions work, but this takes time. This applies to all aspects of behaviour/reaction as well as substance use. Alcohol changes the way your emotions and feelings work, so making significant changes whilst you are drinking (even occasionally) is less likely to work - the drinks you do have will remind you about the good bits of drinking whilst being able to forget the bad - that's the "beauty" of drink
Alcohol affects different people in different ways. Some of us get a proper endorphin style rush of euphoria, others just feel a bit fuzzy and then sleepy. Trying to compare yourself with people around you may not be helpful. Even if you do find lots of common ground with other people's drinking experience, remember that we are all individuals ("I'm not!") - we never get to experience each other's thoughts/sensations - I don't even believe the rest of you are sentient
"decided to pack it in" - how did you decide? strong feelings of regret, shame, loss etc can prompt a feeling of absolute certainty that you will never do XYZ again. these things fade with time as you may have noticed.
Time to apply some method, logic, rigour and anything else that helps overcome human frailty. Do a proper, written cost benefit analysis of your options - pros and cons of carrying on as you are as well as pros and cons of packing it in. don't kid yourself that there are no good sides to drinking - be honest about how good it can make you feel and how it helps in social situations - a half-truth/white-lie based decision is worth very little if you're not a conservative MP. you should make the pros and cons assessment (decisional balance) an ongoing thing to be added to indefinitely - review it regularly and thus remind yourself what you are trying to do
targets/goals - how long am I going to pack it in for? how will I decide whether I have changed enough in myself to try drinking again? how will i decide that my drinking is problematic in the future? you get the idea
planning - plan how your time will be spent. if it's a social thing, plan what time you will finish, how you will get home, what you will do when you get home. if you find yourself with any "grey time" or vagueness, that alcohol loving imp at the back of your head will have some very convincing ideas about how best to use that time. this applies to everything. plan and schedule as much as possible - and visualise how these plans will happen - see yourself walking past the pub on the way back from the wall
positives - giving someone a bollocking or nagging them about their drinking has never worked for anyone ever (citation needed). as human beings, if someone tells us not to do something we feel the urge to kick back at them and do it anyway. the same thing applies to self imposed threats/worries. "ooh, i mustn't drink because I'll die of liver failure" isn't enough to stop people. "right then, I won't have a drink after work because it always leads to more and 30% of the time that leads to me beating up my partner who I love more than life itself" doesn't work either. what does work is acknowledging the good stuff that comes about as a result of not drinking. take time to appreciate how good it feels to wake up feeling alert and well rested - and all the other stuff that you get - better sex, more productive work, look better, fatter bank account etc etc.
one of the things that alcohol does is make it difficult for you to enjoy stuff that isn't alcohol - alcohol produces a nice feeling every time - it does exactly what it says on the tin - real life events aren't so effective (wanking may be similar) so it is well worth taking the time to appreciate those moments when you do get a good feeling that has nothing to do with booze. it is even worth thinking back to how good you felt when such an event happened - i mean really think about how it felt, where you were, what it smelled like , sounded like. by filling your head with nice feelings that have nothing to do with alcohol, you make alcohol less important
still with positives... the best help you can get from people you know or love is getting praise (or at least acknowledgement) that you are doing well in changing your behaviour. This might not come easily to people who feel repeatedly let down or betrayed, but if they want to know what they can do to help - that is it. they will not know how hard you are trying unless you tell them. don't worry about sounding like a selfish spoilt brat who has had his toys taken away - that is how you feel - tell them - if they care/love they want to know what you feel, that is what it means. maybe wait until a bit of trust has been rebuilt first, eh? they might have heard all this before?
any questions?
seriously: it's meant to be hard changing these things. if you don't find it hard then there's something wrong with you.
I'll write more when I get a chance
I appreciate that not all of this will have been directly relevant to the original post
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Hey man,
I never participate in online discussions and only made an account for this. I'm a climber and have been dependant of alcochol and other stuff for years. Now I'm clean for 9 months.
You can PM me.
Good luck.
B
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something else I thought of
making changes on your own is difficult - peer group stuff has a good track record
AA is the best known. the twelve step model works great for many people. not everyone likes it. issues people have with it include finding it hard to get into the whole "higher power" thing. some people come away from meetings thinking that the whole thing was like the 4 Yorkshiremen sketch, leading them to think "I'm not as bad as that I shouldn't be here". these things can be dealt with by going to a different meeting with different people. got to be worth a go if doing it on your own hasn't worked.
the other group that I see people doing well in is the SMART recovery group. their structure is slightly different to AA. check it out on line.
one to one help is well worth trying. if you don't want to use statutory services - and so have something on your medical record - then you can go to separately funded organisations/charities for help.
good luck
don't give up
if you lapse don't be tempted to think "fuck it, I've blown, I might as well give up trying". just get back on where you left off and reflect on what went wrong and learn from the experience.
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Respect for making the step.
In an Internet communication culture of less forums and more superficial social media I think you will find the little niche that is UKB a supportive community.
I'll drink to that.
With respect to mates who might drag you out boozing, if you're open with them about the problem and they still try to get you out then you'd have to question if they're real mates anyway.
Good luck.
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I agree with everything lagers said, except for the the bit about wanking. That shit was just stupid.
Also, I agree with Dave. Part of the reason I could go to the pub sometimes was that my mate, who was always buying people drinks and pushing them into getting pissed, totally respected my choice and would, in a friendly way, tell other people to back off if they wanted me to drink. Have a word. If they don't get it, keep your distance.
If it helps, after a year off, I found I could occasionally have one, in the right social situation (i.e where others were just having one). I still wanted many, but in those situations could handle it.
It's been about 4 years now. My stomach stops me drinking most of the time, but I don't have any problems with having one or two when my body allows. I still occasionally want to have many, but it's no problem.
It helps a lot that my underlying mental situation has improved.
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To tc, Durbs, fatdoc, lagers, mindfull, Dave, psychomansam, thank you for your replies, each one of them makes me more resolute to be a better person.
Some things I can relate to:
how did you decide? strong feelings of regret, shame, loss etc can prompt a feeling of absolute certainty that you will never do XYZ again. these things fade with time as you may have noticed.
Time to apply some method, logic, rigour and anything else that helps overcome human frailty.
Yeah, I've had the transitory feelings of guilt, even stopped drinking for a while, but sure enough I've managed to convince myself things weren't that bad (could I remember them anyway), I just needed to get some moderation back... I can't.
I wrote down all the reasons why I need to take the course of action I am on a spreadsheet earlier this wk and they all made sense, only frequently looking at it and re-invoking the feelings keeps my motivation going. It does help.
I've not got a timeline, 6 months seems realistic
what does work is acknowledging the good stuff that comes about as a result of not drinking. take time to appreciate how good it feels to wake up feeling alert and well rested - and all the other stuff that you get
...t is well worth taking the time to appreciate those moments when you do get a good feeling that has nothing to do with booze
Fuck me, this is good, you're right, never really appreciated this before.
Sounds stupid, but I've always thought the best times are after having a drink, usually socialising.
maybe wait until a bit of trust has been rebuilt first, eh? they might have heard all this before?
This will take time, I'm on my own for the short term, although ukb is proving to be a crutch...
I'll be open with mates, in due course, at the moment I'm avoiding any situation which might lead to going near an establishment. this is something I need to sort for the moment either solo or maybe in a group, I'll check out your suggestions Lagers, it would probably be easier with professionals...
I'm overwhelmed with the support on here :) It truly helps, you don't realise how much, or how grateful I am.
It's only been a week, but it's 11pm on a Saturday night and I'm not pissed. I can't remember the last time this happened.
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Not in your situation, but it's got to take guts fessing up like this and making a decision to make it better. Good luck with it.
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something that you will probably end up thinking about is non-alcoholic beer
playing with fire - could go either way
from what I see, it is best used as a symbolic thing to make you feel like you fit in better in certain situations - even then it can remind you about all the things you used to like about the real stuff
using it as a regular drink can go badly for people wanting total abstinence
playing with fire
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Hey R,
I want to reply on your PM, but you have me blocked.
Grts
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I had my last drink 22 years ago. There are very good reasons for that, which I'm not going to share here as I don't feel that it's appropriate. Suffice to say, I've been exactly where you are now so I know what you're going through. Don't make the mistake of thinking you can sort it out on your own. You can't. You need help. The good news is that there's plenty of help available out there. You have made an important first step admitting you have a problem. Good luck my friend.
Really good answer.
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+2 to that!
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One thing to also consider is environment.
There has been quite alot of research on how this effects ones drinking/substance misuse behaviour. Lots of returning GIs from Vietnam who were addicted to Heroin never used again once they stepped of the plane. Others stopped, later had a dabble but were able to stop without support. Some did remain addicted.
Also where you drink can effect how well you tolerate Alcohol. You may be able to sit at home and drink 3 or 4 pints with little effect but same amount in the pub may leave you reeling.
Again there is research to back this up.
On a personal level I can usually sit and drink a bottle of wine with the missus and/ or friends and are generally well behaved, however on a boys skiing trip or with my mates in Font. I tend to become more and more outrageous.
This is why I avoid things like works nights out.
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Interesting Webbo... Excluding the obvious non eating and huge alcohol rushes on works nights out I too tend to avoid such events... As the end result is way too painful.
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Building on what Webbo said:
People can be killed by a drug 'overdose' while taking the same amount as usual, but in a different environment.
This is largely because your brain/body learns to prepare for the drug in advance of taking it. It takes the warning to do this from certain triggers (such as walking into a certain place, sitting down with certain people, getting out certain equipment), subconsciously, and starts prepping the body, perhaps secreting extra quantities of the chemicals needed to counteract the drug you're about to take. This is part of why, over time, people need to have more of the drug.
They then take the drug in a new environment, without the requisite subconscious warmup, and suddenly they're fucked.
This is only one of the mechanisms underlying what Webbo was talking about, but it's worth realising that if you walk into a bar, if you sit down with those mates, if you get out the pint glasses, your body is likely to, subconsciously, start gearing up for alcohol - which isn't very helpful to say the least.
People and places. Pick the right ones.
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Seems to me that the OP might be better off avoiding boozers for a while. They are not the best places to be if you're trying to stop drinking. If you hang around the barber's for long enough you'll probably end up getting a haircut.
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Thanks for the replies everyone, and for the PMs Mindfull and mrjonathanr. Really good to get encouragement.
I'm feeling a lot more positive this week, focusing on the positive aspects of not drinking really helps, especially, say, at the end of a night when I'm knackered but know that I'll wake up in the morning compos mentis and remembering the entire previous night as well as getting a good nights sleep.
Difficult to look forward to nights out though or meeting up with mates.
Looking on the AA website, there's plenty of meetings in my area, I know where they are and they've been filed for future reference. If I'm finding it difficult, I will go, for the moment, it's good knowing they're there. Thanks for the info on the SMART group Lagers, they have some really good articles on there about mind control, I think a lot of people with substance issues could get a lot out of it.
There's a yes/no questionnaire on the AA website to determine whether you have a dysfunctional relationship with booze, suffice to say I answered yes to quite a few. I bet there's plenty of people in the same league who wouldn't think they had a problem at all. I suppose it is so accepted though.
It's surprising how pervasive alcohol is in our culture too, it seems everyone is talking about drinking or getting pissed. I'm probably sensitive to this at the moment though...
I've been totally avoiding situations involving booze, I've had to cancel a couple of pre-organised things that specifically involved getting on the lash.
The only two things I can't really avoid in the next couple of weeks are a solo trip away with work - literally no-one would know if I had a drink in the hotel bar... and the works Christmas do. This isn't so bad as I can drive home, which also gives me quite a good excuse.
12 days.
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For the works trip - find a climbing wall nearby - or a gym or pool (etc..).. Take some DVD's for the laptop etc.. in other words give yourself something to do other than go down to the bar.. I can see how work trips might be tempting - theres often not much else to do...
For the xmas do... just dont go. Have an emergency back home, have bad flu etc.. any of these.. I'd have thought its just the kind of occasion to give a wide berth - whether or not youre driving...
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Very good! Step by step. Day by day and you'll get there. 8)
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Hi good luck and it seems you've made a good start, I always love getting hammered with no memories of the night and getting upto all sorts - that was ok for years with some close scrapes etc. I was and am quite an agressive drunk
Eventually time caught up with me and I was working on a bank holiday Monday and got hammered the night before and got pulled driving the next morning while still we'll over the limit and lost my licence - luckily I kept my job but that was close
That did not stop me though still got hammered loads and started to effect work in that I was always very hung over and stunk the next morning
I also started to make mates with dodgy people as I'd drink with any f@@cker who was out people without jobs, thieves and drug dealers and the low lives in the area - who obviously did not have to get up to go to work or do any of the normal stuff
Eventually I made a decision to stop , helped by the local pub getting closed down after some lads I made friends with turned out to be undercover police who used me to get in with some of the dodgier locals and I had to keep a low profile incase I got blamed for it and got slotted , obviously it helped that I was always pissed out of my head on a night for the under cover police to befriend me and they arrested about seven o my drunk dodgy mates who we're selling all sorts of shit
I realised how close it was getting to me proper f@@king up and made an effort to turn stuff around
I still drink as it's always been what I do when I go out - I get bored going out and drinking nothing - but I have a limit and I don't go over it
Looking back I was bored, lonely, shy and I could be hardcore have loads of mates and be popular / a local known face by drinking loads and it got me accepted , it took loads of close calls to bring it home to me that I needed to change - so I now don't drink spirits , don't start drinking too early on - I still get the taste and want to get wankered but I now know when to stop before my judgement is too fuddled , I'm also loads less sparky now than I used to be which is a great bonus as my misses has never seen the old nasty aggressive me although she has seen the tipsy me.
The biggest thing is accepting you need to change I always thought people who were not getting as pissed as possible were soft puffs and it was them who had the problem and not me , once you realise it's you , you've started to make it better
Good luck with it it's worth changing as you get a new life , as it will replace your drunken life
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you've taken the right first step good on ya.
i lost one of my closest friends to drink 6 years ago aged 34,i did what i could for him moved him away from his situation,deposit on a flat my old sofa, bed ,microwave etc,worked for a while but soon failed due to lack of support for me or my friend sort or desired who knows.i kick myself for not trying harder but you have to lead your own life and its down to the individual to help themselves.i always saw it as a weakness and told him to be stronger(he was a tough nut in school,good at sports etc) so hopefully you've got a solid base of friends family and be able to throw yourself into climbing(which i wished i'd done with sean) that'll see you through
good luck
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Taking a lot of heart from this at the moment, seriously, anyone thinking or part way through stopping the booze needs to look at this... from the beginning if you have the time.
http://soberjournalist.wordpress.com/ (http://soberjournalist.wordpress.com/)
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On day 6 on the wagon - I actually managed 2 days after new year then went on a 2 day bender and made an absolute total arse of myself. Viewing it as a positive if it helps me stay off now!
Strangely I seem to be on a cycle of feeling refreshed one morning then hungover the next, its weird...
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On day 6 on the wagon - I actually managed 2 days after new year then went on a 2 day bender and made an absolute total arse of myself. Viewing it as a positive if it helps me stay off now!
Strangely I seem to be on a cycle of feeling refreshed one morning then hungover the next, its weird...
I felt pretty wank for about 2 weeks, then felt remarkably better, I think a combination of sleeping better and the booze getting out of my system, i.e. liver not having to deal with a load of toxins etc.
I still wake up sometimes thinking I've got a hangover, it takes me a few seconds to realise I've not had a drink and I've just been training the previous day, or went to bed late...
Good luck.
On Sunday I'll have done a half century...
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Good to know its fairly normal, thanks! :)
I've having a marked increase in motivation already - out of bed for 8 at the weekend and chores sorted well before lunch, its pretty liberating TBH :)
[Day 9]
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After the initial determination I had a tough time getting to 30 days though, the hardest being weeks 3 and 4. I felt temptation biggest at this point.
I've been finding it gets easier and easier since then though and I think my mind is starting to rewire a little now
It helps to know that there are actually a fuck load of people trying to chuck it in, and there are quite a few blogs out there with people describing to a tee exactly what it's like to go through this sort of thing. This helps me. You're not on your own.
Keep it up.
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Day 67
Staying sober in January is piss easy it seems, although I had real pangs for Scotch at the weekend, just had to say fuck it and get back to my coffee. The feeling soon passed...
That's a point actually... the booze has definitely been replaced with the strongest coffee known to man.
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Day 67
Staying sober in January is piss easy it seems, although I had real pangs for Scotch at the weekend, just had to say fuck it and get back to my coffee. The feeling soon passed...
That's a point actually... the booze has definitely been replaced with the strongest coffee known to man.
Fantastic work. Keep it up \o/
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Day 67
Staying sober in January is piss easy it seems, although I had real pangs for Scotch at the weekend, just had to say fuck it and get back to my coffee. The feeling soon passed...
That's a point actually... the booze has definitely been replaced with the strongest coffee known to man.
Nice one.
FWIW I recently got into some yoga again. Great for sorting things out.
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Day 67
Staying sober in January is piss easy it seems
I think you should give yourself more credit than that: none of the people I know who tried it managed it. It seems you have the vital ingredient: a genuine desire to quit. :thumbsup:
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Stopping the whole of January is something to be really proud of. Good arrows!
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http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg22129502.600-our-liver-vacation-is-a-dry-january-really-worth-it.html?page=1#.UuksxLSmV9Y (http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg22129502.600-our-liver-vacation-is-a-dry-january-really-worth-it.html?page=1#.UuksxLSmV9Y)
Stay off it. Stay healthy. We're not getting any younger. :strongbench:
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http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg22129502.600-our-liver-vacation-is-a-dry-january-really-worth-it.html?page=1#.UuksxLSmV9Y (http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg22129502.600-our-liver-vacation-is-a-dry-january-really-worth-it.html?page=1#.UuksxLSmV9Y)
Stay off it. Stay healthy. We're not getting any younger. :strongbench:
Thanks Cheque, Tom and rich, I'm currently climbing and training harder than I have for a long time, a good proportion of what would have previously been drinking time is now spent underneath ply or rock, which makes me wonder how much time I've wasted in the past... and how little of my potential I actually reached. I'm more psyched than I've been for ages.
Good link Sam, I'm definitely not getting any younger.... :)
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Day 95
Just thought I'd update this thread for anyone interested.
I feel fucking great. I was reading the other day, someone wrote 'drinking will always end in personal sacrifice'. This really stands out to me, personally, all of my shit times have involved drinking in some way or other and it feels good to be on a "journey" (bloody hate that phrase).
I'm realising that in the past I've sacrificed a lot of things for the sake of getting pissed.
I've recently thrown myself into training and getting on the board as well as getting shit done that I've not got round to before and it feels great to be productive for what feels like the first time in 15 years.
I can do laps of problems on the board that before I could barely scrape up three months ago.
I'm eating well, I've got more money in my pocket, I've even taken up running (what the fuck?!?!). I'm getting my endorphins via other means...
One of the biggest improvements has been in my mood - maybe it's been getting more quality sleep, exercise, maybe the booze was doing something else, I don't know, but I feel a lot more stable, not guilty etc etc.
I do get pangs now and then, but mostly I don't want to break the sobriety, getting strong and crushing my projects this year is more important and I can't tell you how strange it sounds to say that!!
I still fear turning into the boring one on a night out, but I think I'm getting over that, I've just got bigger priorities.
I'm also being careful not to turn into a preachy fucker. If people want to go out and drink I really don't care, I did it myself for years and it can be great. I'm just taking a different direction at the moment.
Aside from all the above, I'm repairing the damage I've caused to those closest and that is the most important thing.
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Great stuff. Well done!
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Brilliant!
When you get the pangs, don't forget all those positives you've listed above - they're powerful reasons!
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Good work. triple figures is a milestone!
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Good stuff. Keep it up and perhaps also set yourself some decent goals with the climbing (and maybe running?).
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Nice work - it's so good to see someone sticking to it and being so positive as well. As far as being the boring one on nights out goes, well, I know your fears there. I've stopped drinking till Dec, usually I'd be the last one out and this lead to all sorts of abuse recently about being boring on a work trip to Amsterdam. I really would have liked a beer too but I kept telling myself 'they're the ones who'll go home and sit in front of the TV all year - I'll be out climbing harder grades than ever'. It was tough, I'll admit that, so it's nice to read you're account - thanks for updating. It's motivating.
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Thank you everyone, at the moment I'm in a good place, hoping to stay here. Taking it day by day helps.
Bring on the big one hundred.
As for goals, 7a+ would be nice before the end of the year...
I love UKB, really supportive place :great: :great: :great:
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So....how are things now?
Just interested really because I'm considering the same path you took because of my inability to moderate my drinking.
I'm fine with not drinking (had 10 weeks off before xmas and felt great) but once I start to drink I drink all the drink. Not good.
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but once I start to drink I drink all the drink. Not good.
What, this isn't what everyone does.??? :-\
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So....how are things now?
Just interested really because I'm considering the same path you took because of my inability to moderate my drinking.
I'm fine with not drinking (had 10 weeks off before xmas and felt great) but once I start to drink I drink all the drink. Not good.
You getting on okay with this?
Sometimes it's a question of just needing to curb your enthusiasm, for some it's rather deeper. If remorse regularly follows drinking, I'd consider the latter.
Zero consumption seems to work more easily than moderate drinking for some... I have zero qualifications, just an opinion. Hope it's going okay.
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I've just about had my fill of drinking. I've been off the sauce this year, I did stop for January and September last year with no trouble, but I'm struggling to see a real reason to start again.
I'm with you Mike, I can not drink quite happily, but when I do drink, I really drink. And the hangovers just get worse, and I feel like I'm wasting valuable time laying about the house feeling rough.
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OK it looks like I really fucked up. Back to square one again :(
Turns out introducing moderate drinking really is a bad idea
Not in a good place right now
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arse - was just thinking of you earlier this week
how long did you manage to keep things good before fucking up?
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About a year, but it has been creeping up for a while I think
I really think I just can't touch the stuff without issues, need to give up for good, no idea if I can repair the damage :(
I can't work out why I think and act in a way that's so obviously damaging that if it were a logical decision you'd never do it >:(
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optimism
works for some
not for all
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and keep using this thread - we're not all cunts on UKB :2thumbsup:
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Thanks Lagers :)
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OK it looks like I really fucked up. Back to square one again :(
Turns out introducing moderate drinking really is a bad idea
Take heart, this is actually quite easy to resolve. If you don't raise a glass with alcohol in to your lips, this problem will not recur.