Thanks! LOL
That was at least partly serious. It's certainly quicker/easier to get to the forest from central London than most UK areas. You've picked a pretty bad part of the world there.
Nearest bouldering is probably the sandstone around Tunbridge Wells.
Opinions vary on the quality but it's definitely not Bleau (where is?)
If you've got transport there's some stuff at Portland in Dorset but you might be as quick going up to the peak.