[slackline]

According to the person who snapped it there were lots of men laughing at them, but none buying them. 

[Mike Tyson]

People who can't eat quietly. Jesus H Christ. If there is one thing, above all else, that makes me furious its noisy eaters sitting right next to me. The sound of lips slapping, sudden rushed intakes of air like they haven't eaten in weeks, cutlery banging against teeth, slurping, snorting, GET SOME FUCKING MANNERS YOU TWATS!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[erm, sam]

My sister in law eats an apple so loudly you would not BELIEVE it.

[SA Chris]

A mate of mine smacks his lips all the time while eating, either intentionally or accidentally, either way it's so annoying I can't share a table with him.

[slackline]

The sound of lips slapping, sudden rushed intakes of air like they haven't eaten in weeks, cutlery banging against teeth, slurping, snorting, GET SOME FUCKING MANNERS YOU TWATS!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I used to be unable to eat with my mouth shot upto about the age of six.  Doctors decided it was  because I had large tonsils and adenoids.  I then had them removed and ever since I could breathe through my nose whilst eating, thus keeping my mouth shut, avoiding lips from slapping and sucking in air.

Perhaps some people suffer from the same problem but have never had their tonsils and adenoids removed.

[GCW]

You could be right, Slackers.  Who nose?

[slackline]

  Very good.

[peewee]

My excuse if i eat loudly is it down to having a Hair lip and the lips dont seal properley.

[Oldmanmatt]

The sound of lips slapping, sudden rushed intakes of air like they haven't eaten in weeks, cutlery banging against teeth, slurping, snorting, GET SOME FUCKING MANNERS YOU TWATS!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I used to be unable to eat with my mouth shot upto about the age of six.  Doctors decided it was  because I had large tonsils and adenoids.  I then had them removed and ever since I could breathe through my nose whilst eating, thus keeping my mouth shut, avoiding lips from slapping and sucking in air.

Perhaps some people suffer from the same problem but have never had their tonsils and adenoids removed.

Yep, my lad (4) had them done just before Easter. He's gone from being a whiny, lethargic, loud snoring, lip smacking, clutz; to being a happy, hyper, lunatic kid.
And I seriously wonder how many other problem children get missed.
His massive tonsils had been noted before, but always when he was sick, no-one realised they didn't go down when he got better. Then Father-in-law (GP), found out about his snoring and had a peek.
The ENT Consults first words were "Bloody Hell!" Followed by apologies for swearing...

[tomtom]

I might suggest this for mrsTT

[lagerstarfish]

I might suggest this for mrsTT

apologizing for swearing?

[Oldmanmatt]

Never!

Ever!

Thought I might agree with Philip Schofield...

But...

Damn!

Uh...


Speechless!

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=edZjdgU0asM&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DedZjdgU0asM

[GraemeA]

A couple of things:

1) Misuse of STD/phone numbers. The STD code for Sheffield is 0114. So why the fuck does AWCC show it's number as 01142 446622. It's not, the number is 2446622. I know most people use mobiles where you need the STD code and the number but the full number is 0114 2446622. Wankers. (Not aimed at AWCC, just the practice in general, which is far too prevalent).

2) Wankers who, when sitting behind me on a plane, insist on getting to their feet by pulling on the back of my seat and thereby yanking my seat backwards and disturbing whatever I am doing, generally eating/drinking or sleeping. Stop disturbing me you twats, use the arm rests to push your fat carcass into an upright position and thereby don't disturb me you cunt.

3) On another plane issue, the twats who rush down the aisle as soon as the door is open. The etiquette is that you allow the rows in front of you to clear first. Slow down you cunts, you are going to save yourselves a couple of minutes at most yet lose so much (although you don't realise)

[SA Chris]

A fine resurrection

more on the plane front

4) Don't stand in the aisle while you are fucking around and getting your shit together. Standing out the way (for just a second!) means other people can get by and get to their seat.

5) Don't tilt your fucking seat back as soon as you sit down, I don't care how fat and uncomfortable you are. Until it's a generally acceptable time to sleep (preferrably when other people have finished eating) keep your seat upright, I prefer for the video screen not to be viewed at HUD distance.

Thanks

[tomtom]

Flew with jet2 to crete last week (ish) and I was very pleased to find out that they did not have reclining seats on their flights (yeeeehaaaa!). All recliners do is pass the pain backwards through the cabin. In economy class you'll be just as uncomfortable sleeping with the seat up - as you will with it 5 degrees reclined.

[SA Chris]

On overnight flights I don't even bother trying to sleep, just watch films and if i do doze off at any point it's a bonus.

[tomtom]

On overnight flights I don't even bother trying to sleep, just watch films and if i do doze off at any point it's a bonus.

+1

[psychomansam]

Colds.
I'm on my 4th I reckon, since term started.

Advertising

[Fultonius]

G.O. fucking P.

Why the fuck does the Republican party suddenly need a fucking TLA (Three Letter Acronym)...

Grrrrrrrrr....


Cam we just put the whole of American politics in 101???

[grumpycrumpy]

G.O. fucking P.

Why the fuck does the Republican party suddenly need a fucking TLA (Three Letter Acronym)...

Grrrrrrrrr....

Suddenly ? ..........

[Fultonius]

Well, I had to look it up a few weeks ago because I'd never heard of it or seen it in print. I realise it's a historical moniker but it now seems as if journos etc don't even bother to spell out who they are talking about. I read a while article thinking "who the Fuck is the G.O.P.?"

[grumpycrumpy]

Fair enough ........ I'm not sure if it is in common use this side of the Atlantic, but in the States it's been their 'nickname' since the end of the 19th century ......... The first time I came across it was whilst reading a Hunter S. Thompson book and, to show my age, I had to go to a library to find out who he was referring to ........     

[Paul B]

Car Salesmen are they in here, if not they really ought to be.

In the search for the new car (aka the 'Shark Mobile') I've been told:

"take it for a spin" - an Audi A4 with a flat tyre.
"Full Service History" - only the last MOT, nothing more on a 135k mile car.
"Bodywork in great condition" - every panel either scratched or dented and touched up with what appeared to be nail polish.
"let me know if you want it within an hour as someone else is driving over from 'blah' and definitely wants to buy" - i.e. bullshit
The list just goes on.

Almost every car I actually test drove had less fuel in it than I'd ever dare. In fact on one I was seriously interested in I stopped and put some fuel in just so it wouldn't have ingested the cr*p from the depths of the tank just before I bought it!

Nat took great pleasure in letting them talk to her about the colour of the car and then asking a list of questions one of which included mentioning the Swirl Flaps which left most of them utterly bemused.

and American Politics? How I wish I hadn't opened that can of worms once too often whilst sat around a fire over the last 6 months. Being lectured by one climber about sustainable energy american stylee was perhaps my favourite.

[tomtom]

Instagram.

Why?

Once instagram was a cookie way of making retro stylee photos on our phones etc.. and it was novel - even cool (possibly hip). But now pretty much every photo manipulation app (even twitter) can reproduce those vignette & grainy effects. So now it aint Hoxton baby.. Cunningly, it seems that somehow Instagram has transformed itself (since it as owned by facebook as chance would have it) into 'selfie-o-gram' - the way for the rich and famous to show the rest of the world what inane shite fills up their ridiculous and vacuous sell-ebrity lifestyle. FOR FUCKS SAKE we have enough ways to post pictures of (usually) ourselves via twitter and facecrack. We don't need to have 'Vain-o-gram"

With one simple item of evidence I shall present an overwhelming case for the removal of instagram from society and the need to erase it from all of our memories..


http://www.buzzfeed.com/tabathaleggett/30-reasons-craig-davids-instagram-is-the-best-thing-on-the-i


I rest my case. Save us. I hope your eyes are not still bleeding.

[cheque]

Some of those pics belong in the muscular deformities thread.