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Old Jokes home (Read 1390 times)

dobbin

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Old Jokes home
August 04, 2003, 01:55:13 pm
Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after
dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder is accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to
chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull
in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks,

"Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"SEX!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun
to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it
 for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his
 manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly
 each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would
hold Harold's manhood.

Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She
walked  around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's".

Jim

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#1 Old Jokes home
August 14, 2003, 12:35:21 pm
This one tickled me bones off the email circuit:

Don't make fun of a dwarf with learning difficulties.

It's not big, and it's not clever ...

dave

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#2 Old Jokes home
August 14, 2003, 01:04:19 pm
what did the lepper say to the prostitute?

"Keep the tip".

 

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