[Houdini]

I'm hearing you on FM lagers.




Port is simple.  It's all about taste; ignore branding, ads, price (to a point).

Q:  Where do I get The Big Taste?
A:  Vintage port and single Quintas (non-blended, single grape ports)

Alas this is expensive.  But there are alternatives.  LBV:  Late Bottled Vintage (hangs around for longer than the usual 2 years in a barrel before bottling).  This imbues it with the tasteful characteristics of a vintage but without the exhorbitant cost and a 20 year maturation.

Explore:  All LBV's.  Try the more snobbish, exclusive brands such as Niepoort, Do Noval etc..  Only a few quid more per bottle but factors more taste.  If you go vintage (foolish if you enjoy a drink) then 20 years after bottling seems to be a good mark to aim for.  Buy them young and wait.  Or buy by the dozen and get a discount.  Don't aim low, I've always regretted it.  Google port ,(there are many types) learn a little, enjoy getting drunk on it.

Fruits with a ruby.  Nuts with a tawny.  Cheese with both.

Tesco's.  Top of the pile has to be Do Noval.  No complaints at all, price, taste, it's all good.  Tawnies seem harder to quantify:  I've drunk bad and sublime.  Can't help too much here.

To many variables to quantify...  Sweet/dry tooth?

Don't be afraid to spend just 2 quid more on a bottle.  I've noticed that a small increase in price can make a massive difference.

Filtration:  If the port is filtered before bottling there will be no maturation over time.  If it is unfiltered, it will mature over time.  Hence my recommendation for the 2000/1 Do Noval Unfiltered LBV.   Quaff it now, quaff it in 12 years with a commensurate boost in flavour, sell it for more than you bought it...

M & S sell outstanding gear, always undermarketed, underpackaged, undersold. 

[Houdini]

NB.  Port is just too too tasty.



If you don't have an alcohol problem now, you will have.


Tradition is wrong:  port glasses blow.   Too too small, serve in the largest redwine glass you own.  It's just like a red, give it room to breathe. 

[lagerstarfish]

If you don't have an alcohol problem now....

already there. Just happy to have got control over the other hard drugs.... for now.
Thinking about it; I am well placed to advise others on harder stuff. PM me if in doubt. I do it for a job now.

[Houdini]

Dude, can your guy steal to order? 



(Sound of hands rubbing.  You can hear me lear...)

[Houdini]

Know anything about DMT?

[slackline]

Know anything about DMT?

Do you mean N,N Dimethyl Tryptamine?

(with 100mg smoked) "As I exhaled I became terribly afraid, my heart very rapid and strong, palms sweating.  A terrible sense of dread and doom filled me - I knew what was happening, I knew I couldn't stop it, but it was so devastating; I was being destroyed - all that was familiar, all reference points, all identity - all viciously shattered in a few seconds.  I couldn't even mourn the loss - there was no one left to do the mourning. Up, up, out, out eyes closed, I am at the speed of light, expanding, expanding, expanding, faster and faster until I have become so large that I no longer exist - my speed is so great that everything has come to a stop - here I gaze upon the entire universe." pg417 TiHKAL : The Continuation A. Shlugin and A. Shulgin.  The "recipe" for synthesising DMT can be found on pages 412-425 along with further 'subjective' comments on effects at varying doses when administered orally, intramuscular, and intravenously.

The first book may also be of interest PiHKAL A Chemical Love Story. A Shulgin and A Shulgin.  Both make for fascinating reading (although in places they're a bit too smug/loved-up/hippified for my tastes, but hell I'm sure you would be too if you had a license from the government to synthesise any drug you cared to!).

[Houdini]

That's satisfied my curiosity.  I'll be very very sure never to take it.  Heard it was as close to an out-of-body-experience as one can get.

Prefer me port, reckon.

[lagerstarfish]

Dude, can your guy steal to order? 



(Sound of hands rubbing.  You can hear me lear...)

Why do you call me "lear"? Or did I hear you leer?

After effects of Cockburns' don't seem too bad. Went to work at 6 with pleasant fuzziness, but no real pain.

Now that The Cannon and Market Tavern have been shut down, your best bet for steal-to-order in Sheffield is The Brown Bear, Norfolk Arms (bottom of Dixon Lane) or Big Neil the security guard (nobody dares to steal from where he works, but he knows all the best shoplifters - allegedly). I'm having nowt to do with it, but would love to hear the "Houdini defense" for being in receipt of stolen port.

[Houdini]

Lear?  Yo yo Mr Tippsy Spelling Bee!

I'm off the port for a while.  Really should be loopy after a bottle, I'm not opening two in a night, fuck that.  Thanks for the offer, but it's significantly easier for me to go shoplifting in Berlin than it is in Sheffield at the mo'...

 

@ work by 6am?  Wow, you are a pro.  Frau Houdini informs me I had 4 hours kip last night.  Feel great too.   Drinking should help with insomnia...

[lagerstarfish]

I'm off the port for a while.

Wrath of grapes?

[Houdini]

A little something to take the sting out of two weeks of mush weather in Font.


Sandeman.  None better for your money, a real port bargain.  If their wino ruby is this good their LBV's/single Quintas/vintages must be delicious.  France is rightious for port tho' too too many tawny's.

[lagerstarfish]

Always liked the Sandeman picture. Good wall art. Great basis for a stencil for some post-port-urban-port-poster-art
That's a quality port bottle piccie. Good effort.

[GCW]

Cough. 
Arse, temporal paradox.

[Houdini]

Incriminatingly.  Finger pointingly.  There were more.

[chappers]

i have just been given a bottle of Monteiro by a portugese girl in my form group, ill drink it all on christmas eve and report back on just how pissed it got me.
doing alright for gifts, bottle o wine too from my line manager and some chocolates from year 10. nice one!

[Houdini]

This year, apres Xmas dinner we shall serve





Bastards, I'm duty and honour bound not to get twisted in front of the mother-in-law this year (and to keep blackouts to a barest minimum) so have kept the port buying sensible.  But there's time still and my wine merchant has some delightful half-bottles of vintage on offer so...

 

[Houdini]

Plus



The line-up is complete.

 


Chilled, like a tawny.  You never know what dessert will be served come the day.  The prices & choice have changed at the dealer.  Vintages, even small bottles are muchos ka-ching.  It's €85 for the one I really want.  Next year.

Anyone else Porting it this xmas?  Slopes?  Sandeman Single quinta? 


[Get's coat and scoots  to the skunk dealer; bloody xmas shopping]

[Houdini]

i have just been given a bottle of Monteiro by a portugese girl in my form group

That's the spirit.  Portugese chicks are hot.

[Yossarian]

the last of the case for xmas day...

[Houdini]

Top trumps


€160 a bottle





Where do you live?

[Yossarian]

i should be sent to jail for not having drunk this...

[chappers]

i have just been given a bottle of Monteiro by a portugese girl in my form group

That's the spirit.  Portugese chicks are hot.

she is 14 and i am her from tutor.
just to clear things up there!

[slackline]

i have just been given a bottle of Monteiro by a portugese girl in my form group

That's the spirit.  Portugese chicks are hot.

she is 14 and i am her from tutor.
just to clear things up there!

 

[Houdini]

Nice




Yoss - no idea what that bottle is, I mean I can read, but...

[Yossarian]

La Tache? It's the second wine of Domaine Romanee-Conti. The first wine, Romanee-Conti, is the best red Burgundy money can buy, and is almost impossible to get hold of. No, actually it is impossible to get hold of. La Tache is marginally easier to come by, but it's still very rare. Richebourg is the third wine. If that bottle was '61 rather than '67 it would be worth a fair whack...