[Houdini]

Meths Webbo?!  Meths?  Are you serious?!   Yesterday I ran 1500m in 4:12 (and the first time I have ran in over c.20 years).  And any more of that blarny Creutzfeld Jacob, and you're out of Gout Club!  I can do that you know...


Tonites tipple is Dow's Late Bottle Vintage 2000 (7 pounds down from 11), perhaps not a sweet as the ordinary Dow's offering.  Superb drunk plodding the street of Nottingham looking for the hostel.  I arrived at said hostel clutching the bottle, some fucker (who works here said quizzically: 'Are you planning to stay here?!'  'Too right.' I replied. 'Is that a problem?'  He opened the door, saying nothing...)  The hostel has posters mentioning something about drinking and 500 quid fines...  I brought this up with management just now, apparently 'social' drinking is acceptable...

Ah c'mon!  Spare a thought for for a guy who's just (3 months without and counting) weened himself off tabs after 12 years of hard tabbing, fuck, it wasn't that long ago Herr Poop accused me of unreasonable goals etc..  Get in!  Gout Club's hiring!

[Houdini]

...And what a club it is! Tonite Gout Club would most heartlily recommend Marks and Spencer's.  Their 5 quid 20cl bottle of Special Reserve is spoiled only by the fact that it doesn't come in gallon bottles.  She is most fine:  barely any 'spirityness', awesome held in the mouth to diffuse into the tongue, fruity it is.  I'm made up with this one.

[GCW]

Houdini:
Any chance of a top 10 list so R-Man can enjoy the Joy of Port?   

[Houdini]

Good call, GCW.   

But I shall need time to collate.  There have been so many...  And it should be noted that I have skulked mostly around the 6 to 12 pound barrier - which in port terms is definitely scraping the bottom of the oaken cask.

I'd just like to add that tonite has been a bumper crop and myself and the one known as 'The Slinn' have tasted two ports tonite:  1st Marx & Sparx.  2nd Sainsbury's Finest Reserve.  And perhaps we shall open a 3rd, Croft Distinction, though let's not get ahead of ourselves here... I've only one liver though it's powers of regeneration give me hope for the future.

I must think awhile.

[Houdini]

Things I now know about port:

1 - 25 pounds gets fuck all, absolutely fuck all.

2 - Taylor's 1977 currently hovvers around the 120 pounds per bottle mark.  Read that Taylor's has a closed and cloying taste when young and really needs 20 years to come into it's own.  Would Yoss agree?  I'm not keen on Taylor's (only tasted young, mind).

3 - Slopers' recommendation of questing-out a good quinta is sound advice (especially if your wallet can't be arsed with spending 200 for a bottle of pukka Vintage).

4 - Airport dutyfree lounges are fantastic places to pick up great port bargains (Vintage & Quinta) as well as more modest brands (2L of Graham's LBV for 15 quid - best bargain to date).

5 - If paying too much for one bottle hurts your mind then Marsala, a sicillian fortified wine, is a decent alternative to port.  It tastes very fine indeed and is considerably cheaper.

6 - (As with bouldering) Germany sucks for port.



Had a bottle of Portal LBV '96 last week.  Great, but overpriced at 22€.

[soapy]

try working your way though some of warres' offerings

[Houdini]

Yes Soaps, yes!  I shall have them all for myself.  (Dooo rather regret not picking up their Quinta do Cavadinha at Stansted duty free last month @ 17 quid...)


Just bought my first vintage - a Ferreira 1994.  Having trouble finding a review mind, anyone sampled this one?  Save/Quaff?  Quaff/Save?  If I don't find a review soon its' fate is sealed:   

[Yossarian]

houdini - i am with you on the marsala front.  a great drink, and like so many italian delicacies (grappa, limoncello, lardo, prosecco, ac milan) vastly undervalued.

we could start another thread about sherry. oh, the wonders of sherry. from the nasal saltiness of a cold, rare fino, to the ejaculatory sensational sweetness of pedro ximenez.

i look forward to hearing about your warres memoirs.

[Houdini]

Enjoying a sweet Marsala Fine from Frazzitta as I speak.  Europe is great for some things - reasonably priced goods is one of them.  €6.60 a bottle.  Just great. 

Sherry?  See new thread!

Wouldn't care to reproduce your port article here, would you, would you?

[Houdini]

Can't go for it with Warres as you just don't see this brand in The Reich.  May I recommend Niepoort port.  I've tried their Vintage Character port (unsure if they make this still) and have sunk a couple of bottles of their Ruby of late. 



I can't recommend their ruby enough - a great port very reasonably priced at €13 a bottle (I've not seen this brand in the UK but it's there somewhere, though it'll certainly be more expensive) - as their bottom of the range wine it really kicks ass.  They are a very small player in the world of port and thus worth supporting.

The alcoholism is coming along very nicely, thanks for asking;  loved every minute of it.

[Houdini]

Warres is everywarres.  But I'll give them one last chance:  tried another tawny, not great. 

Calem Old Friends tawny -- a port for duffers: has this gadge-trio of sozzled old portfiends clonking tankards w/ hands on gut.  Fucking great stuff bags of flavour, not dear.  *Tip*

White Port -- delicious, had a Ramos Pinto white that tasted red it set a curious contradiction in the mind forcing one to sample repeatedly - trying to find out why it tastes so bizarrely good. 

Armilar ruby -- solid, dependable, quite rounded but with a bolshy spirity nose tho @ 5€ a bottle one should refrain from slagging despite the swede-banger overindulgence fashions.

Rozes Reserve -- Again spirity yet subtler; interestingly French.

Do Noval Coronation Ruby - thin, too thin having tried the LBV.  Unmistakeably Noval but that thinness annoys and you wonder why you didn't upgrade.  Good intro port, not exactly a 1931 Nacional but we'll get there in the end.

Quinto do Vesuvius -- Rare - I must bosh one of these, it's the next level in wedge & can wait for a special occasion.

[Houdini]

has this gadge-trio of sozzled old portfiends clonking tankards w/ hands on gut. 

On the label, oops.

[moose]

A heads-up for anyone inspired to do a bit of Christmas port shopping: the evil behemoth Tesco has a pretty good offer on port and wine.  All the standard LBVs (Dow's, Taylor's etc) and a few vintage ports have ~25% off, many wines are 1/2 price, and if you get 6+ bottles you get a further 25% off.  So a potential saving of up to 62.5% on festive vino.... feel a bit guilty about advertising the satanic supermarket but I'm sure the Warres Otima will cushion the blow

[Jaspersharpe]

Despite loving wine (and that sounding like a fucking good deal) I still refuse to shop at that place. Damn. 

[Pantontino]

Just found a small bottle of Taylor's late bottled vintage port 2000 in the back of one of our food cupboards (I don't know where it came from?). Is this good quality gear, or what? (i.e. should I drink it or give it away as a Christmas present Scrooge style?)

I note Houdini's comment about young Taylor's not being up to scratch.

[Houdini]

Pass it on Si.

Save up for a vintage port (something that needs decanting) and bosh it in one sitting.

[soapy]

tesco have own label 1994 vintage for £12.97 - drinkable alright

[Houdini]

I miss Tesco.


And Marks & Spencers must have fab offers on ace wine now (?)



M & S port is scrummy.

[philo]

chuck norris could do a wheelie on a unicycle

[lagerstarfish]

chuck norris could do a wheelie on a unicycle

Vicious, random stuff.

[Houdini]

 

Meanwhile, back on Planet Port...


Churchill's Reserve.  A blended port.  Nothing über-scrummy, but it is as the krauts say, vollmundig.  (Big tasting).

A pretty good 'everyday' port for 'everyday' drinking when there is no-one to impress.  Better than Taylor's, Croft's and Graham's 'everyday' ports.  You could do worse.  If I had an openfire now...  I'd stare into it...

[lagerstarfish]

I know nothing about port, but...
Today I was offered a bottle by a well known shoplifter for £20. Because of my professional relationship with the man (and coz I had no idea and thought it was a lot of money) I had to say "no" straight away (in front of fellow workers). Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. The label said Graham's 20 Year Old Tawny Port. He said it was from Tesco, but I don't know whether this is right. I have looked on tinterweb and am left feeling that I have missed out on a good night in 
I have a burning cock bought a bottle of Cockburns Special Reserve  by way of beginning my Port career (already on 200mg Allopurinol so have nowt to lose)

[Houdini]

Put your hands on your head and back off from that Cockburn's motherfucker!!


(Shoots some random snake out of sheer spite.  Spit.)





Dude.  Cockburns is NOT PORT.   If you can change it, do.  If you can give it away, it's also preferable to drinking it.

It's cheap (as in overpriced) and spirity.  For the same cash find a Quinto Do Noval Late Bottled Vintage 2000 / 2001  11 quid Tesco.   Massive flavour, fucking huge.  And!  Will improve in the bottle for another 2 decades.   Cockburns will give you a radge headache.

But full marks for joining in, and not accepting attractively priced stolen goods.  Grahams, again nowt special but a 20 year old Tawny must have something going for it.

Don't forget, you don't need to remortgage to enjoy an ace port.  15 quid gets loads.

[lagerstarfish]

Thing is; I'd read this thread, but not taken it in. I knew that at the back of my mind was some useful port knowledge. I just couldn't recall it, at all. This is just the sort of situation where portable tinterweb access is important.
Too late. Burned Motherfucking Cock. Idea of missing out on £100 bottle needed some drowning. Ethics suck.

[lagerstarfish]

Right then,
Me and Mrs (not married, but very involved;  etc ) Starfish know fcuk all about Port.
We want a list of how to start to learn about it.
We both work in social care and so earn fcuk all, but NEED an eacape plan. 
Give us a list; along with reasons to buy each product.
Thanks x x x x x