Take a whole army of boulders to remove the tree.
Or one with a decent chainsaw. Would the estate do it for you?
I spoke to Andy Brown tonight He also repeated the route version of Fingers in Every Pie about this time - a ground-up ascent, though with a fall going past the peg on the first attempt, followed by a clean ascent shortly afterwards. He also mentioned that he'd cleanly top-roped but not led Alternative Three and reckoned that this was harder than Fingers. Simple Simon was so-named in part because of its proximity to Fingers (Simple Simon met a pieman...) and in part because Fingers was a Simon Nadin route.