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only joking (Read 220813 times)

tomtom

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#1200 Re: only joking
July 25, 2017, 07:52:01 pm
I had an X-ray earlier today - and they found six plastic horses in my rectum. The doctor described my situation as stable.

Fultonius

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#1201 Re: only joking
July 25, 2017, 08:58:46 pm
Did they warn you not to engage in any further horse play?

Mike Tyson

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#1202 Re: only joking
November 27, 2017, 09:58:54 pm
Saw a bloke at the beach the other day snogging a shell, so I asked him "what you doing?!"
 
He said "I've pulled a mussel!"

Mike Tyson

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#1203 Re: only joking
November 27, 2017, 10:11:08 pm
Where do you take pies to be weighed?





Somewhere over the rainbow......




 
Weigh a pie.....

mrjonathanr

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#1204 Re: only joking
November 27, 2017, 10:41:50 pm
That'll be Wigan then.

Mike Tyson

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#1205 Re: only joking
February 17, 2018, 09:54:45 am
Why was the Moon board sad?

It had so many problems.......  :sorry: :tumble: :tease:

Mike Tyson

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#1206 Re: only joking
March 10, 2018, 01:29:28 am
I was in Waterstones today.

The lady in the shop said, "Can I help sir"

Yes I replied, "I'm looking for a book about a bloke with a small penis"

"I'll see if it's in", she replied.

"That's the one" I said


Oldmanmatt

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#1207 Re: only joking
July 14, 2018, 08:44:19 am

Oldmanmatt

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#1208 Re: only joking
December 19, 2018, 09:19:24 pm
For reference.

Dark green = live, drill is blue (US).



Mike Tyson

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#1209 Re: only joking
January 13, 2019, 11:36:51 am
A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in
Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet
at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive.
The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they
should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they
could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good
value for money.

Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair
accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.