[Jaspersharpe]

SHOWBIZ NEWS: Mick Jagger & Eminem to collaborate, though the twins from Bros weren't interested. A Rolling Stone, Mathers, no Goss.

[grumpycrumpy]

What do you call a fly with no wings ?


A walk ........

[Drew]

What do you call a spider with no legs?

A currant.

[robertostallioni]

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

Teaching: One day you're taking a register, the next you're signing one.

[mrjonathanr]

 

[SA Chris]

The only reason I didn't was because you sound like you might be foreign and thus not aware of just how shit and dated it was.

He's as British as you and me. Well, you.

[slackline]

A mob of dyslexic parents have just gone and beaten up Jimmy Somerville.

[lagerstarfish]

Rolling Stone Magazine: "Adele is still at the top of the U.S. Charts"

No shit.

That's because no one is able to move her.




*disclaimer
I think chunky birds are nice

[tomtom]

A mob of dyslexic parents have just gone and beaten up Jimmy Somerville.

After they sold their souls to Santa no doubt..

[dave]

Reverse engineered this tenuous joke today at the crag with lovejoy:



What hospital would you go to if you hurt yourself setting fire to a jawbone in buckinghamshire?

Stoke Mandible

[SA Chris]

BREAKING NEWS : More scandal regarding TV presenters; Rod Hull has been accused of fisting a young bird, and apparently Jeremy Beadle had a small hand in it as well.

[CBA]

Two Geordies are chatting in the pub.The first one says "Have you seen 'War Horse'?" The other one replies "Seen it? I didn't even know you fuckin had one!"

[masonwoods101]

bad joke... all this talk about jimmy saville cant be true... when i was young i was in hospital at leeds infirmary and he came to see me and he was brilliant! next they will be telling me he wasnt qualified to give me a prostate exam!!!

[slackline]

Careful, someone might read that in a month and not find it funny.

[Jaspersharpe]

"Threw the new bond villain out of my boozer last night."

"Javier Bardem?"

"Nah. I'll let him back in when he's sobered up."

[dave]

Only a few days now till Halloween, or as Jimmy Saville called it "Christmas".

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

Someone lent me the boxset of 24. I must watch it one day.

[slackline]

The State of Washington made both gay marriage and pot smoking legal as of 12:01 a.m. December 6th, 2012.

 It's the fulfillment of the Biblical prophesy: Leviticus 20:13. "If a man lies with a man as he would with a woman, they should both be stoned."

[notbadforafatlad]

First Cracker joke of the season:



How was the inventor of the Door Knocker rewarded?


He was given a Nobel Prize.

[dave]

I asked Bob Geldof if he wears a down jacket at yuletide.

"Duvet? No, its christmas."

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

First Cracker joke of the season:



How was the inventor of the Door Knocker rewarded?


He was given a Nobel Prize.

The crackers we had had "charades" in them.

Here you go, I'll start:










,

[SA Chris]

How many silly bulls?

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

 











.

[Oldmanmatt]

I've just eaten the sofa...


I have a suite tooth.