[tregiffian]

This farmer made an image of a saint out of barley straw; it was a hay Jude.

[peewee]

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Tampa Airport on its final approach.

The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay."

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, whatcha gonna do in Tampa?"

“Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap.... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge chest out for dinner..... Then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and make love to her big time all night."

Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a crap first."

[lagerstarfish]

What time did Sean Connery stop watching the Murray match last night?

Tenish

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

Tom Cleverly has inspired a new character from the stable of Roger Hargreaves.

Mr Sitter.

[masonwoods101]

http://item.mobileweb.ebay.co.uk/viewitem;PdsSession=c36fc7221390a5aa872278a2ffe52730?itemId=220768216260&cmd=VIDESC

This is so funny... Who has the time to write this stuff

[SA Chris]

Whatever it was it's gone now. Should have copy and pasted it.

[fatneck]

It worked fine for me! Don't think the effect would be the same if you copy and pasted it...

Chris, it's the text underneath that's the funny bit! Loved the drawings

[masonwoods101]

He just spouts crap for ages! Amazing.

[SA Chris]

Odd, all I get is

This listing () has been removed, or this item is not available.

[GCW]

Odd, all I get is

This listing () has been removed, or this item is not available.

 

[masonwoods101]

Damn. It's brilliant as well

[fatneck]

Odd, all I get is

Quote
This listing () has been removed, or this item is not available.
 

Wierd, I still get straight to the whole thing? I am automatically logged in to Ebay though...

[masonwoods101]

might be why.

[Drew]

Maybe it's to do with the device you're looking on. Works fine on an Android Smartphone.

[Jaspersharpe]

And it's fine on Firefox on my PC.

[GCW]

Working for me now.

[masonwoods101]

Worth the build up?

[slackline]

It might be cold and rainy, but I’ve decided to put up a marquee in my garden with some funky music and flashing lights in it.


Now is the winter of my disco tent.

[205Chris]

My pet mouse Elvis has just died.

He was caught in a trap.

[dave]

what do you call a man in the boot of your car?

Jack.

[tomtom]

What do you call a man wearing a raincoat standing in a cemetery?


Max Bygraves

[dave]

What do you call a man between two buildings?

Ali

[masonwoods101]

two atoms walking down the road, one says to the other 'damn ive lost an electron', the other replies 'are you sure'. the first replies 'im positive'... hahahaha

[masonwoods101]

why do art students close the blinds in their morning lectures? they have to have something to do in the afternoon

[masonwoods101]

what did one uranium-235 nucleus say to the other? gotta split