[SA Chris]

I did actually. It's a heartache.

Nothing but a heartache.

[SpanishJuan]

late in the day for it, but ...

Happy microphone testing day

1 2 2 12

[horn]

What do you call more than one octopus wrapped in pastry?


Octo-pie

[Serpico]

late in the day for it, but ...

Happy microphone testing day

1 2 2 12

Do you know why sound engineers only ever count to 2? because on 3 you have to lift something.

What's the difference between a pig and a roadie? a pig wouldn't stay up all night to fuck a roadie.

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

late in the day for it, but ...

Happy microphone testing day

1 2 2 12

Do you know why sound engineers only ever count to 2? because on 3 you have to lift something.

Have you met GrumpyCrumpy?

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

A man in London has been found with images of small children and animals on his PC

He's the website designer for Regent's Park Zoo.

[grumpycrumpy]

late in the day for it, but ...

Happy microphone testing day

1 2 2 12

Do you know why sound engineers only ever count to 2? because on 3 you have to lift something.

Have you met GrumpyCrumpy?

Sadly my sound engineer jokes would appear very dull to most of y'all on here ......... 

[tomtom]

I've just booked a dentists appointment for 2:30

[slackline]

 

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

late in the day for it, but ...

Happy microphone testing day

1 2 2 12

Do you know why sound engineers only ever count to 2? because on 3 you have to lift something.

Have you met GrumpyCrumpy?

Sadly my sound engineer jokes would appear very flat to most of y'all on here .........

Get 'em to boost the reverb then

[butters]

I've just booked a dentists appointment for 2:30

I have done exactly that in the last two weeks for separate appointments with the dentist and the dental hospital without even thinking about it then wondering why people look at me slightly oddly when I tell them what time the appointment is.   

[namnok]

another tim vine classic

"Conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes"

[tregiffian]

The St Ives Times and Echo reports that a performance artiste called Andrea did her cruciate ligament and needed a new direction.She decided to make animals out of herbs and after some success with a stag made from Fennel she tried her hand with a Dill doe.

[Clart]

40 Gypsies  arrive at the Pearly Gates in their Transit vans and  caravans.

St  Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying. 'I've got 40  travellers here. Can I let them in?'

God  says 'We are over quota on gippos. Go out and tell them to choose  between them which are the 12 most worthy, and I will let just the  dozen in.'
Less than  a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God  again.

'They've  gone', he tells God.

'What?'  says God, 'All 40 of them?'
 
 

'No, the gates'.

[TobyD]

HELP there's been an aggravated burglary in the cockney winemerchants.

Claret all over the shop. 

[Duma]

Nice clart, got anymore casual racism? Jokes about n**gers or pakis perhaps? 

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

Why the squeamishness about typing in "n**gers" but not "pakis"?


Edit: Ah. I see. It's the filter. Presumably the latter can't be blocked as it would prevent the use of "Pakistan", for example.

Let's try this then - "Scunthorpe"

[Jaspersharpe]

It doesn't work with Manchester United either.

[dave]

What's wrong with naggers?

[Clart]

Nice clart, got anymore casual racism? Jokes about n**gers or pakis perhaps? 

Glad you liked it Duma. Not into racism but like the idea of the plucky travellers sticking two fingers up to the man (God), although such views could be held as sacrilegious. Not got jokes about 'n**gers or pakis', as you so delicately put it, but there are some on pages 3-4 of this thread if that's your thing. If not then there is no shortage of pedo jokes on the same pages.

[Oldmanmatt]

Seconds out!
Round two!

[Duma]

Nice clart, got anymore casual racism? Jokes about n**gers or pakis perhaps? 

I like the idea of the plucky travellers sticking two fingers up to the man (God)

Come on, no one is under any illusions that that joke was about plucky travellers, it was a play on the widely held view that they are thieves.
Apologies that yours was the first joke on the thread I felt bothered to call out, but I'm not going back through the whole lot to discuss every one I didn't like.

[chris20]

Nice clart, got anymore casual racism? Jokes about n**gers or pakis perhaps? 

I like the idea of the plucky travellers sticking two fingers up to the man (God)

Come on, no one is under any illusions that that joke was about plucky travellers, it was a play on the widely held view that they are thieves.

I blame Cher

[GCW]

I doubt Cher was born in the wagon of a travellin' show.

[namnok]

I doubt Cher was born in the wagon of a travellin' show.

Cher Lloyd?