[robertostallioni]

I am forced to watch the show by the missus, it is funny watching her eat insects though - 1 week later and she finally clicked 'I think the public might hate me'

Why does your Mrs eat insects? Why may the public hate her?

[Jaspersharpe]

Shouldn't it have been "on" instead of "in" as well?

That's gotta be the worst joke of the thread so far! 

[Tris]

I am forced to watch the show by the missus, it is funny watching her eat insects though - 1 week later and she finally clicked 'I think the public might hate me'

Why does your Mrs eat insects? Why may the public hate her?

I keep telling her the camera crew is round the Osbourne's and nobody is watching, but she insists on eating them - she says if they're good enough for that slapper Jordan, they're good enough for her...

[dave]

I am forced to watch the show by the missus, it is funny watching her eat insects though - 1 week later and she finally clicked 'I think the public might hate me'

Why does your Mrs eat insects? Why may the public hate her?

I suspect Tris is actually Peter Andre.

[Jaspersharpe]

I heard a soundbite of Peter Andre backing the BBC's anti-bullying campaign the other day. How I laughed.

[Tris]

I heard a soundbite of Peter Andre backing the BBC's anti-bullying campaign the other day. How I laughed.

I wonder if he was bullied himself?

[tomtom]

Shouldn't it have been "on" instead of "in" as well?

That's gotta be the worst joke of the thread so far! 

  I'll get me coat....

[Jaspersharpe]

I wonder if he was bullied himself?

Have you ever heard the way his (ex)wife talks to him? I couldn't believe that the second most downtrodden man on the planet was actually dishing out advice on how to "bully proof" yourself!

  I'll get me coat....

The combination of terrible joke/even worse subject matter/getting it wrong/having to explain it etc actually made it fucking funny.

[Tris]

A man goes to the zoo.

There was only a dog there.

It was a shitzu.

[slackline]

This is hilarious.

Think the TV shows will be worth checking out too 

[Jaspersharpe]

The Timewaster Letters book is amazing. We went to see a lecture by Robert Popper at The Showroom once which was really good. He signed my mate's programme thing (written by Robin Cooper) with a personalised Parmaynu. Top bloke.

http://www.robincooper.co.uk/contents.php

[SA Chris]

The Timewaster Letters book is amazing.

First one is brilliant, second one is not as good, but still really funny.

[slackline]

I kind of tired of reading them though, went and wrote some of my own instead so they were at least inspirational. 

[Clart]

A man goes to the zoo.

There was only a dog there.

It was a shitzu.

That is comedy genius!

Here's another that I saw somewhere (possibly here?):


A friend of mine has a dog called Minton who has a thing about eating shuttle cocks,

Bad Minton!

[Tris]

That is comedy genius!

Here's another that I saw somewhere (possibly here?):


A friend of mine has a dog called Minton who has a thing about eating shuttle cocks,

Bad Minton!

short jokes are the best I think.

Have you seen Jimmy Carr's 'Telling Jokes' DVD?

3 word joke:

'Stationery Store Moves'

2 word joke:

'Dwarf shortage'

[nash1]

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

[Tris]

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

[Tris]

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

[SA Chris]

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

But if you did it in Egypt and claimed you didn't, you'd be in da Nile.

[Tris]

 

[slackline]

A Rasta man goes to the bank with a 25 kg bag of marijuana and hands it over
to the cashier...

Shocked, the cashier asks.."Whats this for?"...

The Rastaman replies..."Me here to open a joint account"

[Tris]

That sounds like it would be a massive bag (25kg) 

[namnok]

trawling thru old emails and found this

i found it funny

[Tris]

Exam Answers

[namnok]

Exam Answers

brilliant