[Houdini]

As seen at the border



Welcome to Belgium:  Gateway to France!

[Idol eyes]

This has had a few septics screaming...

A married couple on vacation from Texas, find themselves in deep dark Wales. They decide to get some fast food in the small town called Llandygelergogogoch, after placing an order, they enqiure, ¨We are from the states, could to tell us the name of the place, only real slowly¨. Ruth Maddox replys ¨Burrrrger Kiiiiiiiing¨.

[Houdini]

Dr T

Are you a fucking moron?


I live in Germany - out of choice.
I talk German for much of the day
My partner is German
Father-in-law Serbian
Brother-in-Law Hungarian

And forgot to mention a fully payed-up member of the ANL!

If you use words like racist to me again I'll hunt you down and request a less than quiet chat.  You are treading on gossamer-thin ice my assumptive friend.



FUCK YOU!!

[slackline]

Dr T

Are you a fucking moron?

Am I missing something, or has a post been deleted? (In which case I'm still missing something!)

[GCW]

Check the Karma stats.

[Houdini]

Fucking twat.


You don't lead the life I lead AND get the opprtunity to be racist.  Reactionary dickfuck.

[slackline]

Ahh, hadn't thought of checking that. I shall  :rtfm:in the future.

[Dr T]

Dr T

Are you a fucking moron?

If you use words like racist to me again I'll hunt you down and request a less than quiet chat.  You are treading on gossamer-thin ice my assumptive friend.

FUCK YOU!!

Dear Houdini

have sent a quiet PM but seeing as you've decided to publicly rip me to bits I'll publicly point out that from my point of view, knowing nothing about you at all, eight German jokes on the trot could well be a deemed a touch anti German

and anyway I never called you racist I merely stated my opinion that such a barrage of jokes bordered on racism

as an intelligent person and a anti-racist campaigner you must know that casual racism is a very dangerous thin end of the wedge situation

so if you still want to publicly threaten me feel free but try and calm down and look at it from the point of view of someone that doesn't know any details of you're personal life and ask yourself what you might think in my position

and as I said in my PM my best friend is German so yes I am concerned about latent racism - further more as a teacher if I heard on of the kids tell eight German jokes on the trot I'd be having a word with them about how their words could be perceived

ok some of the jokes are very hard to offence to but the cannibalism, Gestapo and tree-lined streets ones would certainly have got kids into trouble at my school

so maybe I should have PM'd you rather than puntered you but from you're reaction I doubt I'd have had a calmer more reasoned response.

Yours
 Ben

[fatdoc]

calm down everyone...

this thread is never going to be * socially normal*, what a bunch of climbers telling eachjother jokes from accross the globe??!

i have to say, if you had not already percieved / guessed houdini was at the least living in, or in some part German it could be construed as a little off...but no more off than the sexist / babyist (yes i know.. there aint such a word) stuff in the last few pages. which i also found very good reading indeed.

personally I laughed my tits off... but I seem to have appreciated over time that there is a Greman conection with the guy. Houdini is obviously not happy at all either - c'mon it's not worth it over a joke guys... but I think everyone is a little hot under the collar here

seems to me this is a classic forum problem, as in not accross a table in a bar where here on the www. thing get a little misconstrued..

can we all be big friends again??


 

[Somebody's Fool]

Crikey.  Certainly a strong reaction.  How I imagine Francis Begbie w/internet access.

[Houdini]

So what if I make 8 German jokes in a row?  Laughter is a healing process.  You doubt that?  Come to where I live and talk to the locals.  So what if I make 98 Polish Jokes in a row?  I make jokes about the English and depreciate myself   24/7 too.  The problem w/ modern life and the legacy of the Holocaust is that it's absolutely impossible to criticise/poke fun at anyone w/ out being called racist.  Which is fucking bollox!  People are afraid to laugh the way they used to.

Be a funnier place if people were less "right on" and lived on the same planet as I.  Stand by what I said.  I'll take any name on Earth but that one.  Your meaning was implicit.

Over here, the word racist means something.  Begbie blah.  You've pissed me off, large.  Sorry for the tit-for-tat, heat-of-the-moment, return it, egal. 

Don't reply to this.

Get this thread on track!!

[Houdini]

And fuck off JB.

In the last 3.5 months I've spent 5 weeks in Finland and a month in Font.  Fuck you too.

[GCW]

What's cunnilingus got in common with posting on here?

One slip of the tongue and you're in the shit.

[Houdini]

Now that's what I call a joke.




Please, I'm a pussy cat.  You just rubbed my für the wrongest way you could.  Alas - I'm a fighter and a lover - apologies.   

[Dr T]

Now that's what I call a joke.




Please, I'm a pussy cat.  You just rubbed my für the wrongest way you could.  Alas - I'm a fighter and a lover - apologies.   

fair play - apologies all round

[GCW]

 

That's better.  Play nice boys.  We've had enough bad feeling what with Mick von Ryan.

[Houdini]

Works both ways - and so glad am I for that

http://www.german-jokes.com/

[GCW]

What's the difference between cunnilingus and being mugged by Mick Ryan?

At least with cunnilingus you can see the cunt coming.

[Yossarian]

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my arse coming into work today."

[Yossarian]

A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks a clerk for an anal deodorant. The clerk explains that they don't stock such a thing. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The store clerk passes the man on to the pharmacist, who explains that the store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he bought his last one from this store only weeks ago, and has done for several years. The pharmacist asks the man to bring in his last purchase and he will try to match the product. The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the customer thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously of the underarm stick variety. The customer explains that the instructions on the reverse state, "Push up bottom to use."

oh dear...

[GCW]

They've brought out viagara eyedrops.
They make you look hard.

Old favourite:
A man goes to the GP with a steering wheel in his crotch.
GP:  What's the problem?
Man:  Can you do something about this- it's driving me nuts.

Ba da boom.

[205Chris]

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn't budget!

[dave]

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn't budget!

yes, he had to work it out with a pencil.

[slackline]

R.I.P.




Heard he was pretty useless at cards, he always had a crap hand.

[lagerstarfish]

A poor variation on Jasper's favorite joke