[lagerstarfish]

Had a very strange dream last night where I was on a TV show with Kylie Minogue. We were in a large, emptyish studio (there was a live audience, but they were not visible) with an all-you-can-eat Indian buffet. I was advising Kylie about what each dish was like - she had never had Indian food before and was delighted to find that she really liked it. I then explained that I like to drink lots of lager to enhance my curry experience and since she was having such a good time following my recommendations Kylie ordered several pints of Stella for us; this was a popular move with the audience who clapped and cheered.

 

[Will Hunt]

 


Freud says less cheese for you.

[Houdini]

I had a strange one last night...

It's common for me to wrestle the colonial-style dresser by the door on night-time trips to the loo, but last night I (apparently) got out of bed (on the L) traversed the edge of the bed to the R-hand side, lingered above Fraudini's bedside table, lightly urinated on the table, alarm clock, book, glass of water...  Then was slapped on the bare ass and told to go to the lavatory, fast.   

Naturally I denied ALL come morning, though some strange time-lag is in effect, and now, I'm almost certain I did the blag, Guv'.   

[tomtom]

I had a strange one last night...

It's common for me to wrestle the colonial-style dresser by the door on night-time trips to the loo, but last night I (apparently) got out of bed (on the L) traversed the edge of the bed to the R-hand side, lingered above Fraudini's bedside table, lightly urinated on the table, alarm clock, book, glass of water...  Then was slapped on the bare ass and told to go to the lavatory, fast.   

Naturally I denied ALL come morning, though some strange time-lag is in effect, and now, I'm almost certain I did the blag, Guv'.   

Nothing to worry about, unless it starts happening regularly... I know of at least three people who have recounted similar tales, that include:
1. Pissing on the video/tv combo
2. Pissing on the record collection of a gf just bedded for the first time (it didnt last apparently!)
3. Waking up the mother in law with a gentle stream of warm urine on her head
 

Its just sleepy mis-navigation. Its even more common for men to piss over the seat (not raising it) because of some slumberous state...

Now, if you wake up mid act and Fraudini is there perched below you looking up through a pirex bowl thats a whole different ball game!!

[Houdini]

A mate recounts this one regularly:

Two friends of my mate are sleeping off a massive ale session.  One of them rents this room, the other is dossing.  Renting is woken by dossing urinating in rentings' wardrobe. 

Renting:  wtf are you doing? 
Dossing:  I'm pissing in this chemical toilet. 
Renting:  That's my wardrobe!
Dossing:  Nah 's chemical lavvy.
Dossing:  Oh...   Well, that's OK then.

 

[Iesu]

great double header last night - must've been the curry and cider combo last night:

1. was on some kind of high school exchange type programme to north america (must have been alaska or CAN as it was baltic!). We were holed up in a dorm type situation from which we needed to escape. Strangely most of the women amongst the exchange group were incredibly scantily clad and were heading out for booze (must've been geordies) and so i followed on. On finding a suitable venue after skidding about on icy roads for a while I proceeded to get the total FEAR that the fact i was underage would be found out and public humiliation would ensue (I am 27 in real life). This fear was almost completely palpable even in my dream state which was very perturbing - almost nightmarish. Whilst chatting to "the ladies" i noticed that the bar was split over two levels with a large and steep double stairway joining the 2 levels. While casually sipping away on my beer a large american car proceeded to drive down the stairs, pinning me against a wall as it drove past. Shortly after this the underage drinkers were rumbled and i woke up.

I woke up at around 4am to find a cat curled up next to me on the bed. I got up to take what felt like the longest piss of my life then got back into bed without disturbing either the cat or the missus. I'm pretty sure this part happened in real life.

2. out walking with the missus, somewhere that looked a bit like the top of caley crag (we might have had either a cat or a dog with us but i can't be sure) when we see up ahead a vixen and a litter of five or six fox cubs. "Awesome" I say to the good lady "you don't see that every day of the week". She says "are they friendly" to which I reply "of course" feeling more than a little bit like Dr Doolittle. For some reason at this point a short but very stout stick appeared in my left hand (significance?), and the vixen started running toward me. I instinctively start waving the stick about, as if the vixen is a dog interested in a game of fetch. As the vixen approaches I have no feelings of fear or anxiety until the thing launches itself at me I assume for the stick rather than for me. As it hits me it sinks it's fangs into my L hand, enveloping the stick with a vice like grip. I sand there for a while wrestling with it, still without any fear or anxiety (definitely aware of pain, or perhaps just aware that it "should" be painful?), but still trying to shake it off until i simply throw it off the top of the crag. The vixen lands like a cat at the bottom of the crag and all is well. game over.

reading this back it sounds like absolute crap, but was intense and gripping stuff at the time. maybe you just had to be there.

looking back it may have had something to do with reading some intense poetry by Owen Shears aloud before sleeping 

[Will Hunt]

Woman runs a mile with rabid fox clamped to arm!

Too much UKB for you methinks.

[Iesu]

just clickety clicked your link there and this ad appeared below the story:


1 flat stomach rule: obey
I cut out 2 lbs of body fat per week by obeying this 1 old rule.
Lost a Job? Or About to?
Restore Your Income with Your Own Business. Work @ Home....

aer they reading my mind or are they interpreting my dreams for me?

[Houdini]

These tooth-loss dreams are becoming more regular (perhaps it's the impacted wisdom tooth?) I wait w/ baited breath for the life-changing moment to get the fuck on w/ it. 

[Jaspersharpe]

Had a variety of different dreams last night most of which I can't recall. However one part that stuck vividly in the memory was Dr T showing me a film of him on a recent trip to Font. He had done Rubis by the strangest sequence ever (which would be impossible in real life but made sense in the dream) and we were discussing the different ways of doing the problem. I wanted to try his crazy sequence (it involved a big crossover) and fortunately I could as we were in Font (don't think we were originally). I started up the problem but it immediately turned into the last move of Marie Rose, I was wearing flip flops and was about to fall off (I wasn't concerned about this). Then I woke up.

[Iesu]

had dreams about my line manager 2 nights in a row now. the 1st night she was at my parents house, not too many other details other than it was a school-trip style dorm situation...

last night she was some kind of book club/english lit tutor person, discussing books, recommending poets in a library setting that i'm sure was like a primary school with mini tables and chairs etc (god what was the name of the book - i think we might have been talking about sailor song by Keasey) all while we were frying steak (she's vegetarian).

what the hell's going on? ???

[slackline]

had dreams about my line manager 2 nights in a row now. the 1st night she was at my parents house, not too many other details other than it was a school-trip style dorm situation...

last night she was some kind of book club/english lit tutor person, discussing books, recommending poets in a library setting that i'm sure was like a primary school with mini tables and chairs etc (god what was the name of the book - i think we might have been talking about sailor song by Keasey) all while we were frying steak (she's vegetarian).

what the hell's going on? ???

You think your line-manager is your mum and have an Oedipus complex?

[Houdini]

Yet another very graphic toothloss dream. 

For a long time all I could see in my dream window was the inside of my mouth; the tooth lost was rotten, black and all rather grim, which doesn't resemble my mouth at all.
 


Who stole my sex dreams, damn it?  I want them back!
 

[tomtom]

Yet another very graphic toothloss dream. 

For a long time all I could see in my dream window was the inside of my mouth; the tooth lost was rotten, black and all rather grim, which doesn't resemble my mouth at all.
 


Who stole my sex dreams, damn it?  I want them back!

I was going to reply to your earlier tooth loss dream post a while back... Puttiing on my dream doctor hat... step into my office...

Assuming that you do not have any dental problems or had any bad experiences with dentists...
Dreams of loosing teeth are similar to dreams where you loose your hair. Teeth and hair are features that people look at, care about and also age.. They are obvious indicators about you health and age. This dream could reflect an anxiety about your physical well being, possibly related to growing older or possibly something else if you have any health concerns.

If this seems like a possibility, and you wish to have your sex dreams return.. then my prescription is to remove all mirrors and reflective items from the house and get to your local newsagent and buy an armful of wank mags 

Hope the dreams get better..

[Houdini]

According to the dream dictionary:


To dream that you have rotten or decaying teeth, forewarns that your health and/or business is in jeopardy. You may have uttered some false or foul words and those words are coming back to haunt you.

To dream that your teeth is gleaming, signifies happiness and fulfilled wishes.
To dream that you are brushing your teeth, signifies your level of confidence, struggles and aggressiveness. You need to look out for yourself and your own interest. Perhaps, you feel that your standing or position is shaky.

Wisdom Teeth
To dream about your wisdom teeth, indicates new or emerging knowledge. You are learning something new about yourself. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you act more smartly about a situation. Make sure to think things though.


Cavities
To dream that you have a cavity, indicates feelings of fear and insecurity over a situation. You are lacking self confidence.

[tomtom]

According to the dream dictionary:

To dream that you have rotten or decaying teeth, forewarns that your health and/or business is in jeopardy. You may have uttered some false or foul words and those words are coming back to haunt you.

Always trust the dream doctor  He is a fully trained professional - I nearly forgot, make sure you get some leaches along with the wank mags   

Dont agree with the dream dictionary on everything though, that stuff about false or foul words coming back to haunt you is wrong - that gives you running through treacle cannot escape type dreams..

Now, have you been to the newsagent yet?

[Iesu]

buy the Viz.
it's cheaper and you can perform some "self-abuse" looking at the classified ad's (or the fat slags if you prefer)

[Houdini]

Um...

I'm not convinced that the solution to my recurring tooth dream is more masturbation.  I don't see a connection myself.   I put it down to financial insecurity: the root of all weirdness.

Y'know perhaps for old times sake I might stroll down Bangor High Street and pay a visit to Pervy Parkers, the p*rnagent who could brown bag your mag' within one second of it hitting the counter; but alas he no longer works in publishing and has moved onto to hopefully bigger and thicker things for a certain DIY retailer further down the road... 

Thankfully I've the terrible world of internet dalmatian p*rn at my er, fingertips to satisfy my more esoteric cravings 

[Falling Down]

I had two dreams worth sharing this week.

On Tuesday night I called George Osborne on his mobile to express my approval that Dominic Grieve had been moved from Home to Justice only to find out he'd got me on speaker phone in the commons as an example of inapproprioate use of a mobile in a public place- I always thought he was a twat and now I know for sure.

Last night I was pulling awesome tricks on a BMX (to the sound of Motorhead wearing jeans, a white vest and no helmet  ...) that looked more like a Raleigh Shopper which also had no tires so I was sliding about on rims. When asked by the adoring crowd of onlookers how I had the skills to pull off such feats I shrugged and said 'I just find it easier with no tires'.. how cool am I (in my dreams  )

[lagerstarfish]

Had a very realistic dream last night.
As you may have noticed, it is spider season at the moment - big lollopy house spiders running about the place and orb spiders making some sweet webs outside. We have a beautiful orb spider and web outside the kitchen window at the moment.
In my dream there were 7 or 8 full grown orb spiders on this web. I was amazed at this and was trying to set up my video camera to record the event - only the reflection and smeared windows were making it difficult to focus. Then a kind of thin version of a tarantula scuttled onto the web and started to eat the orb spiders. I got really excited by this and brought the whole family to watch as the big spider ate the little ones - they weren't very interested.
I still have a very vivid memory of what I saw in the dream. I keep going to look at the real web just to make sure. Got a very Old Testament feel about the whole thing.

[lagerstarfish]

Had a strange climbing dream last night.

I was in the Alps with SA Chris (who I have never met in real life, I think). We were going to do a rock route that involved the usual approach up a glacier/snow field which had receded somewhat since the route was put up. This meant that instead of having a big rock ledge to gear up on, we had to sit on the top of the snow field - that bit where the sow touching the rock has melted and forms a sharp ridge with a big gap between the snow and the rock. It being early in the morning the snow was frozen hard. Whilst getting my gear out of my sack I dropped my beloved Boreal Fires down the crevasse. This meant having to scramble up to the first rock ledge in my large, floppy leather boots (Scarpa Mantas I think). This was scary and involved pulling off a lot of choss. On reaching the ledge there was a room full of leather shoes - like a gym changing room, but with slush and snow on the floor and a crap hot drinks vending machine that used poor quality plastic cups. Apparently, we were only allowed to climb the route using shoes provided in this room. The shoes were not labelled or in size order, so I had to go through them to find my size. All were too small. The shoes were a mixture of walking boots and normal men's hoes with a lot of them being dark brown brogues with leather soles; fortunately they were all too small for me. I ended up with a pair of size 10 walking boots - a bit too tight, but OK for climbing. My socks where cold and wet from the wet/slushy floor. At that point I realised that along with my rock boots I had also dropped my harness, crampons (needed for the descent) and gloves. Can't remember anything after that.

I can't remember what Chris looked like in the dream 

Just remembered that I was worrying about how to return the boots to the boot room after doing the route.

[webbo]

my god you need emergency psychotherapy.

[lagerstarfish]

or a new pair of shoes

[tomtom]

my god you need emergency psychotherapy.

How does that work? "tell me about your childhood... NOW!"

[SA Chris]

.....that bit where the sow touching the rock .......... normal men's hoes.....

Not sure about psychotherapy, but a couple of Freudian Slips right there.

Funnily enough I dreamed the same thing! (I didn't really, but still)

Maybe it is our destiny to open a small shop hiring out inappropriate footwear and selling low quality hot drinks at the foot of a mountain somewhere.

If you build it, they will come!