[shark]

11.11

M. Tor. Not grippy. Reasonable go on Bens finishing with 3 sets of 4 attempts on cross through then throw

T.

W. Atrocious weather. Cancelled going to Tor but tired still anyway

T. Nice day 8 degrees driving out. Tor. Mint ! Cross N Angry with Ben S. wet in places. Not been on it for several weeks so not expecting much. Dogged to AM headwall and linked move 6-12 and it felt easy. 😀Tried from hole as well but fell off 4th move. Second tie climbed from top of Push Up to hole but that left me too tired to pull over bulge - a testament to my woeful current level of endurance. Then 4x4 attempts on cross thru and throw move of Bens

F

S. Stanage. Nice day. Rammed. Took dogs and pad up to Meninblack sector and found I’d forgotten by shoes. Was humid and rock seemed glassy so probably a blessing

S

Post holiday blues especially coming back to such mixed weather. Lost a couple of pounds since going away. A bit of confidence restored on AM headwall but route is starting to get wet and endurance well below what’s needed. More of the same this week I expect.

[Fiend]

Last week's STG: Make some plans for the autumn. 2. See 1. 3. See 1. Etc etc - maybe, possible rumblings of a plan. Get away from Peak/Lancs/Yorks if weather allows - not really. Try to rally support amongst the few partners who might be keen to get away - not really. Do something challenging on a rope outside - just once, and ideally do something inspiring on a rope or above a pad outside - just once and avoided another. Do one bouldering training session and one routes training session indoors - yes.
The usual: Elbow rehab x 2 - yes x 3, Shoulder rehab x 2 - yes x 3, stretching x 3 - yes, falling practise if I do routes indoors or out - just indoors, deadhangs (if suitable) - yes x 2.
MTG - keep incrementally regaining capability, do regular increasingly large falling practise, try to stretch bi-weekly, keep rehabbing (and moderating training if needed) to avoid injury, try to rally support and inclusion amongst climbing partners.
LTG - regain physical capability for F7a o/s, F7b+-ish r/p, to be able to take into trad, try to regain some confidence in going further afield.


M - Rest. Not necessary, and tedious. Felt my body seizing up as usual. Finally forced myself to do elbow and shoulder rehab at 9:30pm with the help of some nu skool jungle.

T - Indoor routes @ Summit Up. F6b, F6b, F6b+, F6c, F7a, F7a+, F7a+, attempted F7a+ (very close) and F7b (not very close at all). Decent falls on almost all. Stretching session after. Mid-reset so choice a bit limited, could had squeezed in more F6c/7a if there had been new stuff. Felt pretty decent, nice session. Watched Godzilla due to UKB peer pressure.

W - Indoor bouldering @ The Depot. 27/31 Pinks, 18 flash, 6 2nd go, 2 3rd go, 1 worked, 4 DNF (one due to being cordoned off, the other 3 really should have been DNS to save myself the bother). The Pinks have now transmogrified from a V2-5 semi-normal circuit running parallel to the Reds, into a V3-6 semi-comp style circuit, overlapping the Reds, Purples, and Comp Wall. Which is fine but I wish I'd known that before trying to do the circuit as there's plenty of droppable weirdness and a bit of "I could spend the rest of my life trying to get this toe-catch lurch or hands off mantle to randomly work, or I could just go watch paint dry instead". Deadhangs on the minute: 5 x 10s @ 25mm, 5 x 10s @ 20mm, 5 x 7s @ 15mm. Skin and pulp fine but found them hard. Too aghast by Adam Lincoln's "bordering on cultural appropriation" tan to do stretching then, but did shoulder rehab and stretching at home.

T - A little bit of sport climbing. A couple of F6s and a flash of a stiff F7a that I had to try quite hard on (being not very warmed up). Pretty pleased. Situation wasn't suitable for falling practise. Shoulders started a bit sore and stuff after previous day but felt better after.

F - Active rest / idiocy training / re-hydration - 2 hours sapling and brambling clearing @ Lester Mill in the pissing rain. Reasonable exercise and I ended up with one tiny patch at the front of my underpants that stayed dry. Shoulders started quite stiff and sore from sleeping well and peacefully (of course) but better after cleaning. Elbow rehab and shoulder rehab.

S - Active rest - a bit of Easy Trad @ Troy Quarry. A couple of nice easy routes, but talked myself out of getting on a good challenging route and was cross all the way home. Also cross about the lack of honking geese.

S - Indoor bouldering @ The Depot. 6 Purples, 3 flash, 2 2nd go, 1 worked. Tried another 10 or so with maybe a distant chance of future success on a couple. The Purples have now transmogrified from a V5-7 circuit into a V5-or-7 circuit with nothing in between. Maybe the increased difficult of Pinks provides an overlap? Will be interested to see how the Red reset goes and if they keep that as a normal circuit or do something wacky with that too. Deadhangs on the minute: 5 x 10s @ 25mm, 5 x 10s @ 20mm, 8 x 10s @ 15mm - got extra psyched so did a bonus 3 on the last set. Maybe less fatigued due to doing so little on Purples. Elbow rehab and full stretching session.


Okay week. Feeling a bit more like a climber, but hampered by weather, and also being a massive fanny on Saturday. Indoor training and rehab etc volume has been good all round and body seems to be coping with the level (so now the plan is to NOT increase it, of course). Still need to try a lot harder to find people to do diverse climbing days and/or away trips with.


The usual STG: Do something challenging and inspiring on a rope, or above a pad, keep in regular contact with suitable friends and partners, falling practise if I do routes indoors or out, deadhangs (if suitable), elbow rehab x 2, shoulder rehab x 2, stretching x 3.
Next week STG: Get a fixed plan for Autumn. Re-introduce myself positively to some local climbing online groups to try to have more options to be involved with local climbers. Outside aims depend on weather. Do a leading / falling session indoors. Maybe Depot Red if weather is poor after they reset them.

[duncan]

Good one on the 7a Fiend and generally getting out and doing stuff.

M - Pottered around, felt good after La demande but my team needed a rest day! Shoulder and elbows conditioning: handstands, side planks, press-ups, pull-ups.
T -  Slept terribly and felt extremely anxious for no apparent reason. Headed for l'Escalès and Frime et Châtiment. H, who boulders 7C and had onsighted a 7b in sector Hulk a few days ago, tried the crux a few times but resorted to aid; I didn’t even try to free it. Punchy for 6c+! The top two pitches are magnificent, but my head wasn’t in it and I was happy to second both.
W - TGV/Eurostar back home.
T - Westway brief session on autobelays. Managed a 6a+. Everything felt hard and my right elbow was disappointingly sore despite having been fine on real rock. Shoulders and elbows conditioning.
F - Fingerboard pick-ups, left and right hand, easing back in with 10mm edge x 31kg. Hip and knee conditioning: frog squats, single leg squats, calf-raises.
S - Shoulders and elbows conditioning.
S - Shoulders and elbows conditioning, including pull-ups. Fingerboard hangs: 14mm edge.

A very good trip to Verdon and we didn't do too badly considering I’ve climbed minimally since July. I have such great memories of the place, where the teenage Duncan, 6 months into his climbing career, first tried something Fairly Long and Moderately Hard... and got completely spanked. It’s still not easy but does play to a couple of my relative strengths: thrashing up cracks and not freaking-out on big routes. H was very taken by the place and going by train worked really well for both of us (see below) so another visit is on the cards and we can hopefully try something slightly harder like Série Limitée next time.

Plan: get to know the family again, rehab. elbow, rebuild some fitness.


Train versus plane to the south of France.

I’ve used the train rather than fly on three trips to Verdon and Ceuse now and can thoroughly recommend it. The former cost £240¹, the latter would have been £210² with adequate luggage for climbing. The train took 7 hours from doorstep to driving away the hire car at Avignon (or return, car hire offices are in the TGV station car park). Flying is about 2 hours but once you add returning the car, checking-in, waiting for bags, and getting home from somewhere like Gatwick the total journey is at least 6 hours. I’m not aerophobic but flying is shit, stressful, and tiring. You may also have to deal with loss or delay of your luggage (multiple experiences; delayed luggage can really screw-up a short climbing trip), being bumped off the flight (twice) or cancelled altogether (twice). H had a further three hours to Newcastle but still preferred the train. Finally, on the train you can take whatever you can carry without worrying about weight, knives, gas canisters, or what the baggage handlers might do to your bottles of wine.

Then there is the question of carbon emissions...   


1. For a 6am train booked four weeks in advance, leaving mid-morning is more expensive. The connection arrives in Avignon at 1pm and we could have grabbed a short route that afternoon if we'd have been better organised and motivated.
2. Flight prices checked at the same time.

[Aussiegav]

Power Club

Monday -
5 sets of 3 body weight repeaters. 1 minute rests.
6 sets of 7 sec hangs on 12mm edges. 4 with 17.5kg assist. 2 with 15kg assist

Tuesday
The Depot after work
 Fingers were a very fatigued from last night’s session.  4 laps of 6b circuit. 10min rests.


Wednesday
Rest


Thursday

Fingerboard session at home.

5 sets of 3 body weight repeaters. 1 minute rests.
6 sets of 7 sec hangs on 12mm edges. 4 with 17.5kg assist. 2 with 15kg assist


Friday
Rest day

Saturday

Went back to Deep Rake in the after lunch.
Warmed up on  the 6a and then  the bolt to bolt on the 6c, Raking Liberties. Rested 15 mins then Redpointed it very comfortably.
Tried Reliquary 7a+ on top rope. Good climb, very hard & sustained.
Massive thanks to Stu, Richy & Adam for letting me join in.

Sunday

Belay practice for my eldest at Awesome  Walls. He did great for just 8 weeks of leading. Flashed two 6bs on the steep comp wall and a host of over routes. 

[Nibile]

Power Club

Mon - BM pockets. Paused pull ups. One armers. Goblet squat and press.
Tue - board climbing, weights.
Wed - AM as usual; PM pull ups, goblet squat, high pulls, bentover row.
Thu - tired. Farmer's, pull ups, goblet squat and press.
Fri - AM as usual; PM 4x AM session, back work.
Sat - boxing bag, light weights.
Sun - bar work, abs, bentover rows, high pulls. Short on time.

[spidermonkey09]

M - rested
T - session on peewee's board in Nelson. Very nice to finally use some positive small undercuts on a steep board, was like being back at Pudsey depot. First good board session in ages.
W - rest
T - went to the Sheffield depot on the way down to Leicester. Nice and quiet so did some problems. 10 purples and a yellow in an hour and a half or so. Felt pretty knackered by the end and had forgotten how to climb indoors so was a bit clunky but enjoyed it.
F - rest.
S - Malham. Finally some cooler conditions. After warming up had a go on the Maglite project. Pissed the Overnite start and the traverse into Magnetic was easy until I started redlining without warning with a few moves to go before the rest. Just about made it and shook out for a while with the top crimpy move weighing on my mind. Fortunately it went ok and I got the chain clipped. Only one bolt of new climbing but pleased to do it. I nearly did it in 3 sessions, it ended up taking 7, but mostly in poor sweaty connies. Given it 8a but might be 8a+; we will see. Finished off with a dog and a do of Highlife on the left hand side, which is a great route that deserves more attention. As good as comparable routes at Kilnsey that gets loads of traffic such as Truth Drug, Slab Culture etc.
S - felt knackered. Watched sport all day and walked the dog.

Much better week. Enjoyed climbing indoors for the first time in ages and tasted some success outside. If it stays dry and cool I may have a play on Unjustified, but I only have a month before I go to India on a research trip so have a hard end point for sport season this year.

[SA Chris]

M - fingerboard session
T - run, 6.5 km.
W - not much, hectic evening, parents night, swimming training and DoE meeting.
T - lunch bouldering. Hoped to get sloper eliminate at J-Heugh done. wind blowing hard southerly, so entire platform wave washed, no chance. Did some eliminates on the south facing wall instead. Windy, cloudier conditions meant the crimper one was much more doable, glad to get it done.
F - 10km run.
S - afternoon at J-Heugh with mate and kids. Mostly toproping with them, but did a bit on the S facing wall, and managed to grab a pad and get down and do the sloper eliminate, as it was out the sun and breeze picked up. Went down first go, felt pretty easy in good conditions, probably only 6B, but might be morpho.
S - bouldering at Block 10 Dundee. Not quite on the same scale as Duncan, but got the train down instead of driving, much more chilled option, just an extra 20 mins walk from station to B10 at each end, but no major inconvenience. With railcard, it was £26 return for 2 Adults & 1 child. Driving the van down is probably quite a bit less, but it's an incredibly dull drive I have done so many times, looking out at Lunan Bay, Montrose Basin etc is a lot more scenic. As usual, like a kid in a sweetshop, tried to do too much, and ran out of skin. Kyle did the same, flashed the whole pink circuit, then removed the rest of his skin trying to get some of the greens done. Great session though, and good to have mate along of a similar level to work on stuff with. Pretty tired, but good to get out of usual routine..

Did some kettlebells or conditioning most evenings..

[Aussiegav]

S - Malham. Finally some cooler conditions. After warming up had a go on the Maglite project. Pissed the Overnite start and the traverse into Magnetic was easy until I started redlining without warning with a few moves to go before the rest. Just about made it and shook out for a while with the top crimpy move weighing on my mind. Fortunately it went ok and I got the chain clipped. 

 
Nice work

[Yossarian]

M - Bit of FB pulling / pick ups before wall. Good board session and a bit of other stuff. Then wide weighted pulls and locks when I got home.
T - Wall. Slightly less fingery board stuff, and some mobility, and bench / shoulder press when I got back.
W
T - More FB pick ups. Wall. Board then mixture of other stuff inc some campusing. Skin a bit fucked by the end.
F
S - Really good new prow set, ended up getting sucked in, and 3 1/2 hours later ended up completely battered. Had planned some pull strength stuff when I got home, but far too tired for that.

First week of do something about being too heavy rather than complaining about it regime. Weighing everything, etc before eating it surprisingly not that annoying. Opted to try creatine again and weight jumped to 103, but ended up just under 100 by Sunday. Doing the FB pickups mainly because I've put them in the living room so more likely to bother vs trekking back and forth into the garage for Beastmaker. Did max of 80kg a couple of months back, but decided to ease into them and focus on building the weight up slowly - got up to sets of 8x 60kg on Thursday and that felt pretty hard.

Potentially have enough spare days to escape back to Font in 5 1/2 weeks time, but might leave it till v last minute / see how much progress I make.

[SA Chris]

FB = FingerBoard, FingerBlock or something more cryptic? FullBore? FaceBook?

[Yossarian]

The former!

[SA Chris]

OK, lol same as me. I usually do them in front of the telly, rather than use BM in the garage, or have to clear the crap out from under the woody. So lazy.

[ajh]

I’ve used the train rather than fly on three trips to Verdon and Ceuse now and can thoroughly recommend it.

Also done this a couple of times - once for a Ceuse/Verdon trip and also for a midwinter trip to the area round Seynes which worked brilliantly. Out of interest (and for my own future reference) whereabouts did you stay? We’re out in the Verdon at the moment but were put off from training it again due to the exorbitant cost of hiring a car so instead we got the Hull - Rotterdam ferry and drove down, reasoning that we could take even more stuff with us (big tent, rack). Not sure if this ended up being a false economy as the drive was pretty tiring and camping has been fucking grim with endless noisy groups, dogs etc. Next time we’ll probably just suck up the cost of the hire car and probably a roof over our heads too, it will probably make for a more enjoyable experience overall.

[Steve R]

M. Rest
T. Made table tennis table for nephews, played some table tennis. Rest otherwise.
W.Crimp block pulls up to 55kg on 15mm edge.  Board.  Felt pretty good.  Close on a couple of short termers.  Did a few problems first try that I don't think I'd have been able to do at all a few months ago - definitely feeling much better on board.
T. crimp block pulls up to 55kg on 12mm edge.  Got warmed up on board but had to abandon session due to external pressures.
F. Rest
S. Cloughton Wyke.  Did Stand Before the Rain.  Given 7B+, felt fairly steady once I'd found beta which suited me.  No signal for video watching shortcuts so quite rewarding figuring it out.  Didn't try the lower start moves as the lower holds were condensed.  Was also thrown off the scent by the picture of Mike in the guide -  Didn't realise the 'low start' still starts right hand on the arete....  Seems a very odd start position but the couple of moves from there into the stand look cool.  Keen for a another look anyway - maybe a bit more wind and the lower holds will be dryer?  Problem definitely needs doing from the much more logical and obvious full sit start.... stand vid:
S. 55kg block pulls 12mm edge.  Amazing board session - did relatively long term project about 3rd go.  Did both problems I'd been trying on Wednesday, one of which I had tried quite a number of times in previous sessions.  'Flashed' a 7C (which will get downgraded) and a couple of other problems first try.  Quite rare to have a session like this but so satisfying and enjoyable when they happen!

[duncan]

Out of interest (and for my own future reference) whereabouts did you stay? We’re out in the Verdon at the moment but were put off from training it again due to the exorbitant cost of hiring a car so instead we got the Hull - Rotterdam ferry and drove down, reasoning that we could take even more stuff with us (big tent, rack). Not sure if this ended up being a false economy as the drive was pretty tiring and camping has been fucking grim with endless noisy groups, dogs etc.

Due to an administrative error which resulted in a very last-minute booking (cough) we stayed in Rogoun. For those that don't know it, this is a beautiful spot with a couple of decent bar/restaurants and a small shop with basics. It's 10km from La Palud so you miss out on the morning walk to the patisserie but is very convenient for the Couloir Sampson. We stayed in what is described as a "townhouse" or "old townhouse" on the various booking sites. Characterful accommodation untouched from when it was the village shop owned by mayor. Period features include Michel Platini c.1985 sticker on the fridge. Basic cooking facilities in a medium-sized cupboard. Beds for 3 (and a day bed for another?) for €60 per day.

Which campsite are you in?

[jwi]

If the Airbnb that Olivier of "520 routes" fame runs is not booked, it's the best value near La Palud. It's located about a kilometer from the village, in the direction of Moustiers. Simple but clean. Obviously, there's not a route in the Gorge that he hasn't done.

Rougon is nicer than Palud in the winter (at least some sun), but very quiet...

[Coops_13]

M: Bench press 200lb X3 *3, new 1RM PR of 240lb, Chest fly, Incline chest press, Shoulder press, Diagonal raise, Svend press. 30 mins peloton

T: 2.7mile walk. Warm-up OA hangs down to -20lb. Board session.

W: Bench press 205lb X3 *3, new 3RM PR

T: Wild Basin, Thug Roof. Finally sent Gangster's Paradise V7, I find that thing so hard. Went to try Thug Roof Center V9, closer on the crux move but still couldn't do it. Psyche not too high…


S: Wild Basin. Went to try Hamburglar Extension V10 again but could not do the big crux move to lip. Almost did it two different ways, statically rocking over heel and dynamically trying to hold swing. Neither worked. Had a couple of burns on a long turd V8 before calling it

S: Hike to Chicago Lakes, basically Echo Lake to Area D and back. 10 miles, 2100ft ascent

[Duma]

M - eve UCR, 60 min circuits. 6a+, 6a+, 7b6a+7a, (pleased get this link), 7a6a+7b (fell on stupid early crux of 7b), 6a+7b (fell just over half way through 7b). Real shame the routes on this board are so short (the hard ones are only 22 moves) and shit at the moment, as it's by far the best angled circuit board in Bristol. (Historical nugget I was told today - when it was being built in the late eighties, the angle was set based on the steep section of Burmese wall in Cheddar, as that's what the local wads did laps on for endurance training pre UCR opening)
T - TCA, new whites (high 6's). Downstairs, 20 problems, 14 flash,, 1 second go, few tries on 3 others but no joy, 2 didn't try.
W -
T - TCA, whites again tried the downstairs ones I didn't do on Tues: one second go, one is morpho nonsense, more attempts but still no joy on the other three. Then upstairs for the rest of the whites. 11 problems, 6 flash, 2 second go, 2 took a few goes, didn't manage the last but did the moves.
F -
S -
S - TCA, finished last upstairs white by skin of teeth mainly to stop mate lapping it in front of me. Then comp wall blob jumping and a working a couple of blues.

71.5kg

[Bradders]

S. Cloughton Wyke.  Did Stand Before the Rain.  Given 7B+, felt fairly steady once I'd found beta which suited me.  No signal for video watching shortcuts so quite rewarding figuring it out.  Didn't try the lower start moves as the lower holds were condensed.  Was also thrown off the scent by the picture of Mike in the guide -  Didn't realise the 'low start' still starts right hand on the arete....  Seems a very odd start position but the couple of moves from there into the stand look cool.  Keen for a another look anyway - maybe a bit more wind and the lower holds will be dryer?  Problem definitely needs doing from the much more logical and obvious full sit start.... stand vid:

Smashed that out Steve, power to spare. Agree the lower start is a bit weird, neither a stand, nor a crouch, nor a sit! Adds two pretty hard moves to the stand up but I'm really not sure it adds quality. Reckon it'll need a genuine Easterly to get much of a breeze in there.

Also sorry about the name of the stand, I just thought it sounded better than "Before the Rain Stand" when adding it to UKC...

[ajh]

Which campsite are you in?

Les Bourbons - I should stress that I don’t think it’s necessarily the campsite itself that’s the problem, just that there seem to be far more selfish arseholes about in the post-Covid era. Last night’s confrontation with a load of pissed up bikers and their Bluetooth speakers turned pretty ugly and in the end I went and slept in the car on the Route des Crêtes rather than wait to find out if they were shitfaced enough to make good on their various threats to set fire to our tent (amongst others). The campsite owner has been brilliant but there’s only so much he can do, especially with groups only staying a single night before moving on.

Due to an administrative error which resulted in a very last-minute booking (cough) we stayed in Rogoun…Characterful accommodation untouched from when it was the village shop owned by mayor. Period features include Michel Platini c.1985 sticker on the fridge. Basic cooking facilities in a medium-sized cupboard. Beds for 3 (and a day bed for another?) for €60

That sounds great - dropped a couple of hitchhikers off in Rougon last time we were here and thought it was lovely (and a stunning view of the gorge too). I’d sacrifice my morning bakery run for a good night’s kip at the moment.

If the Airbnb that Olivier of "520 routes" fame runs is not booked, it's the best value near La Palud. It's located about a kilometer from the village, in the direction of Moustiers. Simple but clean. Obviously, there's not a route in the Gorge that he hasn't done.

As does this - many thanks, both. My partner was refusing to ever come back here yesterday but having these as options might help on that front, as did a beautiful evening jaunt up Massacre a la Tronçonneuse today.

[spidermonkey09]

Sounds grim. Commiserations. Camping in popular areas seems awful at the moment. Heard similar stories from the Lakes/Wales.

[jwi]

My partner was refusing to ever come back here yesterday but having these as options might help on that front, as did a beautiful evening jaunt up Massacre a la Tronçonneuse today.

The cheapest solution is probably an AirBnB in Castellane. I've done this before, when we have combined climbing with working every other day. As it takes about half an hour to drive to La Palud from Castellane I feel that it would be tiresome to do every day. Not as tiresome as not sleeping, of course. I've never had a bad experience in the municipal camping in La Palud, apart from that time when a wild boar entered the tent to snack on my oats during night... But I've had some bad experiences at campsites in Gorge du Tarn, and I like to avoid campsite when at all possible. Especially where motorcycle-tourism is popular.

[duncan]

If the Airbnb that Olivier of "520 routes" fame runs is not booked, it's the best value near La Palud. It's located about a kilometer from the village, in the direction of Moustiers. Simple but clean.

This was the place each of us thought the other had booked...

Les Bourbons - I should stress that I don’t think it’s necessarily the campsite itself that’s the problem, just that there seem to be far more selfish arseholes about in the post-Covid era. Last night’s confrontation with a load of pissed up bikers and their Bluetooth speakers turned pretty ugly and in the end I went and slept in the car on the Route des Crêtes rather than wait to find out if they were shitfaced enough to make good on their various threats to set fire to our tent (amongst others). The campsite owner has been brilliant but there’s only so much he can do, especially with groups only staying a single night before moving on.

That sounds grim. Obviously I was not there but I am inclined to be less tolerant of the owner. This kind of problem is hardly unique to La Palud and other campsites in France solve it by refusing admission to groups of men or demanding a significant deposit.
 

I've never had a bad experience in the municipal camping in La Palud, apart from that time when a wild boar entered the tent to snack on my oats during night... But I've had some bad experiences at campsites in Gorge du Tarn, and I like to avoid campsite when at all possible. Especially where motorcycle-tourism is popular.

Also have no negative experiences from my stays at the Camping Municipal, though none are recent. Friends who stayed there this year at the same time as us were not complaining. (Nor do I have any wild boar stories, though I have a collection of pizza-eating-bears-in-Camp Four tales of course).

My partner was refusing to ever come back here yesterday but having these as options might help on that front, as did a beautiful evening jaunt up Massacre a la Tronçonneuse today.

That sounds great. I love the auto-translated summary of p1 from camptocamp: “Well Verdonian”.  I think we all know what that means.