[mrjonathanr]

I had my last drink 22 years ago. There are very good reasons for that, which I'm not going to share here as I don't feel that it's appropriate. Suffice to say, I've been exactly where you are now so I know what you're going through. Don't make the mistake of thinking you can sort it out on your own. You can't. You need help. The good news is that there's plenty of help available out there. You have made an important first step admitting you have a problem. Good luck my friend.   

Really good answer.

[mindfull]

+2 to that!

[webbo]

One thing to also consider is environment.
There has been quite alot of research on how this effects ones drinking/substance misuse behaviour. Lots of returning GIs from Vietnam who were addicted to Heroin never used again once they stepped of the plane. Others stopped, later had a dabble but were able to stop without support. Some did remain addicted.
Also where you drink can effect how well you tolerate Alcohol. You may be able to sit at home and drink 3 or 4 pints with little effect but same amount in the pub may leave you reeling.
Again there is research to back this up.
On a personal level I can usually sit and drink a bottle of wine with the missus and/ or friends and are generally well behaved, however on a boys skiing trip or with my mates in Font. I tend to become more and more outrageous.
This is why I avoid things like works nights out.   

[fatdoc]

Interesting Webbo... Excluding the obvious non eating and huge alcohol rushes on works nights out I too tend to avoid such events... As the end result is way too painful.

[psychomansam]

Building on what Webbo said:
People can be killed by a drug 'overdose' while taking the same  amount as usual, but in a different environment.
This is largely because your brain/body learns to prepare for the drug in advance of taking it. It takes the warning to do this from certain triggers (such as walking into a certain place, sitting down with certain people, getting out certain equipment), subconsciously, and starts prepping the body, perhaps secreting extra quantities of the chemicals needed to counteract the drug you're about to take. This is part of why, over time, people need to have more of the drug.
They then take the drug in a new environment, without the requisite subconscious warmup, and suddenly they're fucked.

This is only one of the mechanisms underlying what Webbo was talking about, but it's worth realising that if you walk into a bar, if you sit down with those mates, if you get out the pint glasses, your body is likely to, subconsciously, start gearing up for alcohol - which isn't very helpful to say the least.

People and places. Pick the right ones.

[tc]

Seems to me that the OP might be better off avoiding boozers for a while. They are not the best places to be if you're trying to stop drinking. If you hang around the barber's for long enough you'll probably end up getting a haircut.

[witb994543]

Thanks for the replies everyone, and for the PMs Mindfull and mrjonathanr. Really good to get encouragement.

I'm feeling a lot more positive this week, focusing on the positive aspects of not drinking really helps, especially, say, at the end of a night when I'm knackered but know that I'll wake up in the morning compos mentis and remembering the entire previous night as well as getting a good nights sleep.
Difficult to look forward to nights out though or meeting up with mates.
Looking on the AA website, there's plenty of meetings in my area, I know where they are and they've been filed for future reference. If I'm finding it difficult, I will go, for the moment, it's good knowing they're there. Thanks for the info on the SMART group Lagers, they have some really good articles on there about mind control, I think a lot of people with substance issues could get a lot out of it.
There's a yes/no questionnaire on the AA website to determine whether you have a dysfunctional relationship with booze, suffice to say I answered yes to quite a few. I bet there's plenty of people in the same league who wouldn't think they had a problem at all. I suppose it is so accepted though.
It's surprising how pervasive alcohol is in our culture too, it seems everyone is talking about drinking or getting pissed. I'm probably sensitive to this at the moment though...
I've been totally avoiding situations involving booze, I've had to cancel a couple of pre-organised things that specifically involved getting on the lash.
The only two things I can't really avoid in the next couple of weeks are a solo trip away with work - literally no-one would know if I had a drink in the hotel bar... and the works Christmas do. This isn't so bad as I can drive home, which also gives me quite a good excuse.
12 days.

[tomtom]

For the works trip - find a climbing wall nearby - or a gym or pool (etc..).. Take some DVD's for the laptop etc.. in other words give yourself something to do other than go down to the bar.. I can see how work trips might be tempting - theres often not much else to do...

For the xmas do... just dont go. Have an emergency back home, have bad flu etc.. any of these.. I'd have thought its just the kind of occasion to give a wide berth - whether or not youre driving...

[mindfull]

Very good! Step by step. Day by day and you'll get there.

[Jay d]

 Hi good luck and it seems you've made a good start, I always love getting hammered with no memories of the night and getting upto all sorts - that was ok for years with some close scrapes etc. I was and am quite an agressive drunk
Eventually time caught up with me and I was working on a bank holiday Monday and got hammered the night before and got pulled driving the next morning while still we'll over the limit and lost my licence - luckily I kept my job but that was close
That did not stop me though still got hammered loads and started to effect work in that I was always very hung over and stunk the next morning
I also started to make mates with dodgy people as I'd drink with any f@@cker who was out people without jobs, thieves and drug dealers and the low lives in the area - who obviously did not have to get up to go to work or do any of the normal stuff

Eventually I made a decision to stop , helped by the local pub getting closed down after some lads I made friends with turned out to be undercover police who used me to get in with some of the dodgier locals and I had to keep a low profile incase I got blamed for it and got slotted ,  obviously it helped that I was always pissed out of my head on a night for the under cover police to befriend me and they arrested about seven o my drunk dodgy mates who we're selling all sorts of shit

I realised how close it was getting to me proper f@@king up and made an effort to turn stuff around

I still drink as it's always been what I do when I go out - I get bored going out and drinking nothing - but I have a limit and I don't go over it

Looking back I was bored, lonely, shy and I could be hardcore have loads of mates and be popular / a local known face by drinking loads and it got me accepted , it took loads of close calls to bring it home to me that I needed to change - so I now don't drink spirits , don't start drinking too early on - I still get the taste and want to get wankered but I now know when to stop before my judgement is too fuddled , I'm also loads less sparky now than I used to be which is a great bonus as my misses has never seen the old nasty aggressive me although she has seen the tipsy me. 
The biggest thing is accepting you need to change I always thought people who were not getting as pissed as possible were soft puffs and it was them who had the problem and not me , once you realise it's you , you've started to make it better

Good luck with it it's worth changing as you get a new life , as it will replace your drunken life

[ianto9]

you've taken the right first step good on ya.
i lost one of my closest friends to drink 6 years ago aged 34,i did what i could for him moved him away from his situation,deposit on a flat my old sofa, bed ,microwave etc,worked for a while but soon failed due to lack of support for me or my friend sort or desired who knows.i kick myself for not trying harder but you have to lead your own life and its down to the individual to help themselves.i always saw it as a weakness and told him to be stronger(he was a tough nut in school,good at sports etc) so hopefully you've got a solid base of friends family and be able to throw yourself into climbing(which i wished i'd done with sean) that'll see you through
good luck

[witb994543]

Taking a lot of heart from this at the moment, seriously, anyone thinking or part way through stopping the booze needs to look at this... from the beginning if you have the time.

http://soberjournalist.wordpress.com/

[csurfleet]

On day 6 on the wagon - I actually managed 2 days after new year then went on a 2 day bender and made an absolute total arse of myself. Viewing it as a positive if it helps me stay off now!

Strangely I seem to be on a cycle of feeling refreshed one morning then hungover the next, its weird...

[witb994543]

On day 6 on the wagon - I actually managed 2 days after new year then went on a 2 day bender and made an absolute total arse of myself. Viewing it as a positive if it helps me stay off now!
Strangely I seem to be on a cycle of feeling refreshed one morning then hungover the next, its weird...

I felt pretty wank for about 2 weeks, then felt remarkably better, I think a combination of sleeping better and the booze getting out of my system, i.e. liver not having to deal with a load of toxins etc.

I still wake up sometimes thinking I've got a hangover, it takes me a few seconds to realise I've not had a drink and I've just been training the previous day, or went to bed late...

Good luck.

On Sunday I'll have done a half century...

[csurfleet]

Good to know its fairly normal, thanks!

I've having a marked increase in motivation already - out of bed for 8 at the weekend and chores sorted well before lunch, its pretty liberating TBH

[Day 9]

[witb994543]

After the initial determination I had a tough time getting to 30 days though, the hardest being weeks 3 and 4. I felt temptation biggest at this point.
I've been finding it gets easier and easier since then though and I think my mind is starting to rewire a little now
It helps to know that there are actually a fuck load of people trying to chuck it in, and there are quite a few blogs out there with people describing to a  tee exactly what it's like to go through this sort of thing. This helps me. You're not on your own.

Keep it up.

[witb994543]

Day 67
Staying sober in January is piss easy it seems, although I had real pangs for Scotch at the weekend, just had to say fuck it and get back to my coffee. The feeling soon passed...
 That's a point actually... the booze has definitely been replaced with the strongest coffee known to man.

[tomtom]

Day 67
Staying sober in January is piss easy it seems, although I had real pangs for Scotch at the weekend, just had to say fuck it and get back to my coffee. The feeling soon passed...
 That's a point actually... the booze has definitely been replaced with the strongest coffee known to man.

Fantastic work. Keep it up \o/

[psychomansam]

Day 67
Staying sober in January is piss easy it seems, although I had real pangs for Scotch at the weekend, just had to say fuck it and get back to my coffee. The feeling soon passed...
 That's a point actually... the booze has definitely been replaced with the strongest coffee known to man.

Nice one.

FWIW I recently got into some yoga again. Great for sorting things out.

[cheque]

Day 67
Staying sober in January is piss easy it seems

I think you should give yourself more credit than that: none of the people I know who tried it managed it. It seems you have the vital ingredient: a genuine desire to quit. 

[rich d]

Stopping the whole of January is something to be really proud of. Good arrows!

[psychomansam]

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg22129502.600-our-liver-vacation-is-a-dry-january-really-worth-it.html?page=1#.UuksxLSmV9Y

Stay off it. Stay healthy. We're not getting any younger. 

[witb994543]

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg22129502.600-our-liver-vacation-is-a-dry-january-really-worth-it.html?page=1#.UuksxLSmV9Y

Stay off it. Stay healthy. We're not getting any younger. 

Thanks Cheque, Tom and rich, I'm currently climbing and training harder than I have for a long time, a good proportion of what would have previously been drinking time is now spent underneath ply or rock, which makes me wonder how much time I've wasted in the past... and how little of my potential I actually reached. I'm more psyched than I've been for ages.

Good link Sam, I'm definitely not getting any younger....

[witb994543]

Day 95
Just thought I'd update this thread for anyone interested.
I feel fucking great. I was reading the other day, someone wrote 'drinking will always end in personal sacrifice'. This really stands out to me, personally, all of my shit times have involved drinking in some way or other and it feels good to be on a "journey" (bloody hate that phrase).
I'm realising that in the past I've sacrificed a lot of things for the sake of getting pissed.

I've recently thrown myself into training and getting on the board as well as getting shit done that I've not got round to before and it feels great to be productive for what feels like the first time in 15 years.
I can do laps of problems on the board that before I could barely scrape up three months ago.
I'm eating well, I've got more money in my pocket, I've even taken up running (what the fuck?!?!). I'm getting my endorphins via other means...
One of the biggest improvements has been in my mood - maybe it's been getting more quality sleep, exercise, maybe the booze was doing something else, I don't know, but I feel a lot more stable, not guilty etc etc.

I do get pangs now and then, but mostly I don't want to break the sobriety, getting strong and crushing my projects this year is more important and I can't tell you how strange it sounds to say that!!

I still fear turning into the boring one on a night out, but I think I'm getting over that, I've just got bigger priorities.
I'm also being careful not to turn into a preachy fucker. If people want to go out and drink I really don't care, I did it myself for years and it can be great. I'm just taking a different direction at the moment.

Aside from all the above, I'm repairing the damage I've caused to those closest and that is the most important thing.

[Jaspersharpe]

Great stuff. Well done!