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More beautiful then I was led to believe...
11 January 2013, 8:48 am



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Let's start with a piece of advice: when driving halfway across Europe, you should have the address handy of the place you're heading. It will save 20 minutes of aimless driving around complex narrow back streets and frantic texting. If you are lucky, a knight in shining armour (or, in this case, white Adidas tracky-B's with kick boxing skills) will come to your rescue...

 

...anyway, on with the fun. What can you say about Switzerland? No matter how often I come here, I'm always gob smacked by how beautiful it is. Bonkers. It's a country of contrasts... age old cottages stapled precariously to the sides of mountains with gleaming Audi's parked outside.

 

And the climbing... surrounded by huge mountains, we're climbing on the little bits of rock that fall off and roll down the valley sides. Much more fun and closer to the car park. Brione, in the Verzasca valley, is one of the most beautiful places you'll ever go to boulder. I'm sure the locals are absolutely MADE UP that their idyll happens to contain some of the finest rocks in Europe, and also that those rocks appeal particularly to the sort of bravado filled youths that love to shout "SICK" and "BEAST" and especially love to yell as though they've just won the bloody Olympic 100m when all they've done is climb a little piece of granite in an isolated and peaceful valley in Switzerland.

 

It is beautiful. Really bloody beautiful. I can't believe we've spent 3 out of the last 5 days there with amazing weather and (despite my rant earlier) virtually nobody else around:

 

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]The view from Brione meadow - shame about the goon in the foreground[/td][/tr]

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 I've managed to claw my way up Molunk (7c), and Vics cruised the 7a+ to the right. Molunk is pure, dead brilliant: ace moves on perfect granite with friendly holds in a perfect setting. It doesn't get much better than that.



 

 



 

??

We've spent a day at Cresciano - just getting our bearings and getting used to the cold after 6 months of wetness at home and no winter to speak of...

 

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]La Boulette at Cresciano[/td][/tr]

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 I do miss that 6 a.m. alarm and cycling through the rain to work, but hey, you can't have everything...

 

 

 

 

 

 



Source: 2013

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The Necessity of Failure
16 January 2013, 7:54 pm

"There's no success like failure; and failure's no success at all" - Bob Dylan (Love Minus Zero/No Limit)

Sport. What a pisser. How those people who miss Olympic gold by hundreths of a seconds, or false start, or get injured or just don't perform, I'll never know. There is, however, some essential goodness to be found in failure. And I should know. 34 times off the last move of Stamina band; 3 times from above the crux of Big Golden; barn dooring repeatedly from the finishing hold on Sofa Surfer. Boy, do I ever know how to blow it. It's amazing I've ever actually got up anything.

But what constitutes failure? It's important to decide if you really did fail. It's also important to analyse why you failed (or didn't quite achive fully), and how to do something about it. I think it's called 'Learning from your Mistakes'. There's a bit more to it than that mind.

First, a video of today's action. You may think that the failure is almost entirely in my dress sense. Or the inability of the hair in the middle part of my head to show up on camera. Keep watching. It gets worse.

So there you have it. A total punter foot blow and pad dab. What positive can you possibly take from that.

OK, seriously. The reasons you fail (or achieve) can be divided into 2 catergories - internal/external and temporary/permanent. Now, the route you don't want to go down is internal/permanent (i.e. I'm tooshort/too shit). External/temporary is alright, but not all the time (it's greasy/too warm/too cold), and it definitely gets a bit boring to hang out with that person. Basically, you want to find some internal/temporary reason. It may be "I'm not strong enough" - do something about it; it may be a body position thing, or a loss of concentration. Again, decide what you need to do. You may want to get your mate to give you a verbal cue, or you just may need to practice the move/transition/link a bit more. I'm always wary of blaming failure on a bad sequence.

The second part of learning from failure, I think, is not to think in black & white terms about what constitutes success & failure. Is it only success if you actually finish the problem/route? I think it's important to set yourself realistic goals for each session, so that you can appraise the outcome objectively, and not through the lens of emotional turmoil that often goes hand in hand with actually doing better that you thought you might. Ironically, it's the times when you exceed your expectations, and very nearly do things, that are the most disappointing.

Finally, there's nothing like failure to get you psyched!

So there you have it. Failure can be turned into, well maybe not success, but positives can be taken and lessons can be learned. I've proved to myself that I'm capable of doing 8a's (even if they're not proper 8a's (Hey Nic!), but I do need to concentrate all the way to the end. Hey Ho.

I just feel sorry for the Alex Puccios and Mina Leslie-Wujastyks of this world...

Source: 2013

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Feeling Good
25 January 2013, 8:19 pm

Dr Feelgood. Never really knew who they were until a few years ago. If you're in any doubt about their sound, presence and influence, get your ears around this. Check out the dude left screen on the guitar. Wilko Johnson. What a strut. What a look. And if you liked that (as they say), you'll love this. So what am I saying? well, your man Wilko has just been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. He was on the radio this morning. He was describing being in Japan at a remote Shinto temple in the mountains. Normally, he said, he'd be thinking about how he had to store this memory for the future. This time, however, he realised that there is no future , and he was able to enjoy the experience itself, for what it was. Living fully in the moment. A good lesson. The pressures we impose on ourselves when trying to climb things at our limit often detracts from being able to enjoy the situations and experiences we have.

This week in Ticino has been terrifying beautiful. Pure blue skies. Cold. Snow on the mountains. The air feels like it could shatter it's so crisp. Terrifying because its feasible that we'll never experience such perfection again.

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]View from our window[/td][/tr]

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[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]The Contra (Verzasca) dam[/td][/tr]

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[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Chironico - the view from Freak Brothers[/td][/tr]

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[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Verzasca River (Brione)[/td][/tr]

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[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]View from Lidl car-park[/td][/tr]

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This lesson was particularly apposite today. Yes, I fell off the last move of Marilyn Monroe seven (yes, seven) times, but would doing the problem have lessened the experience? No chance. Just being here is as good as it gets. Or as my Dad says: "Tell your hard luck story to an Algerian goat herder".

To continue with the rock theme, one of my favourite lines from Spinal Tap (and there are PLENTY of them): "It's a fine line, between clever and stupid". Not wrong! The lines in climbing are pretty absolute - you do something, or you don't, but that doesn't mean the margins aren't pretty slim.

oooh! Close!

A couple of other problems climbed this week:

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Selection Door 7a Chironico[/td][/tr]

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[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Autopilot 7b Chironico[/td][/tr]

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Vics had a good session on Teamwork (it was one of the few climbable pieces of rock that day). Did all the moves, but with only a week to go and thinning skin, it's probably not a goer.

 



 

Not that I'm too upset about that. It's not going to get above zero this week in Chironico!

 

Source: 2013

[comPiler]

Fashion (turn to the left!)...
29 January 2013, 6:52 pm

...We are the goon squad and we're coming to town...

You got it kids, we're talking fashion! And why not? If anybody's qualified to do so, it's yours truly... a dapper dandy at heart. One week I'm in polka dots, the next week I'm in stripes. But this week, I'm most definitely in tights. You heard it here first: Tights. Are. Back. And they're bad. B.A.D. (Actual bad, though).

???

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Yuk![/td][/tr]

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[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Twat![/td][/tr]

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As far as I'm concerned, climbing fashion has gone SERIOUSLY downhill since the glory days of Andy Pollitt on the Gogarth guide cover. Rainbow lycra? Long hair? Headband? Sultry looks. Where did it all go wrong? Girls have it easy...

?

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Cool![/td][/tr]

[/table]...same attire, different result.

I blame DMM. Stone Monkey. What happened there? Biege vests. Pale blue baggy leggings. Celtic whorls. Holy Shit! And we now seem to have descended down the massive loons line. People don't even pull their trousers up any more. Haven't they seen One Summer? I'm starting with black. I'm not sure the world is ready for anything gaudier, but I'm prepared to go all the way to rainbow/tiger stripes/general psychadelia. Watch this space. Or don't.

The fact is, tights are GREAT to climb in. It's time to flush trying to look cool down the toilet and break 'em out.

A final thought. Usain Bolt lining up in baggy cords and a beanie? I don't think so...



Source: 2013

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Farewell Ticino!
1 February 2013, 2:24 pm

Well it's good-bye from me; and it's good-bye from him...

Final day in Switzerland today. A slight anti-climax, but that, as they say, is life. Have had a few tries on Frank's Wild Years, but needless to say, I didn't do it. Why? (you may ask, but probably wouldn't). Too bloody hard, would be my answer. The move out of the undercling match, is desperate! (Any tips gratefully received - surely I'm just doing something wrong... I can't just be not-good-enough. Mmmmm). Always good to have something to come back for. Which is a good thing.

On that note, I've dug out this vid of me not-doing sofa surfer from May 2011.

I often find that not-doing something actually reinforces my love of climbing more than doing something. It's not as much fun, of course. But it emphasises that it is the process that is the fundamental reason that I climb. 'Success' is the icing on the cake. (Perhaps I'd have more 'success' if I was a bit more desperate to achieve it, rather than settling for progress).

So what's next? Off to Font tomorrow for 8 weeks. 8 weeks in Fontainebleau. Serious dream-come-true territory that. I'm taking the Stu Littlefair approach here, and publically stating my intentions. The theory, apparently is that your arms have to cash the cheques that your ego writes. We'll see. Anyway, there are 4 main aims: Les Beaux Quartiers, Atresie, T-Rex and Misericorde. Place your bets! Actually, some dry rocks would be nice...

Seems like a good time for a list: Best 5 boulder problems. In no particular order.

1) La Balance: the epitome of Fontainebleau. Slopey. Powerful. Chipped! Brilliant climbing. Gorgeous sloper. An epic 5 year battle.

2) Eclipse: another multi-trip siege. Finally did it on the most beautiful morning. -3 degrees, crystal clear skies. Holds finally felt like jugs.

3) Big Golden: Great climbing on a perfect boulder. Managed in a tiny dry window on final day after 5 days of wetness.

4) Brad Pit: Just climbs so beautifully. Grit pertfection.

5) The Hulk, Crag X: Campus-ing on limestone slopers. What not to like?

Maybe actually doing problems is what it's all about after all. Who am I trying to kid?

Source: 2013

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Good Mowning!
9 February 2013, 10:13 am

Listen very carefully, I will say this only once...

Bonjour mes petits choux-fleurs! Maintenant, nous sommes dans la belle foret de Fontainebleau et, comme toujours, c'est magnifique! Yes indeed, despite the somewhat ropey forecast, our premier semaine dans la foret, has been nothing short of exhausting. We've climbed 5 days out of 6, et enfin il pleut, and we can rest and recover. Les peaux, however, has been loving the sandstone after the harshness of the granite, and all-in-all, smiles are on faces.

Funny Font, you never really remember just how good it is until you come back. We were pretty much decided that most of our holidays in the foreseeable future would be to Ticino - stable weather, breath-taking scenery, scores of class problems. BUT, within an hour of getting back to the magical prises et plats de Bleau, and all that seems like so much hot air. Last night's saucisses de Toulouse could have been the nail in the Ticino coffin.

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Check out these beauties![/td][/tr]

[/table]The weather has been a trifle mixed, but overall, no complaints whatsoever. A few snow showers, some rain, but also beaucoup de glorious sunshine!

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Cowering under Big Golden in the snow[/td][/tr]

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[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Don't let those bloody holds get wet - British tactics on Supplement d'Armes assis[/td][/tr]

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[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Morning sun & snow on the way to Rempart[/td][/tr]

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Climbing-wise, some closeness, but nothing more. Yet. Something else I love about Font - The Nemesis! Nowhere else seems to throw up a more enjoyably frustrating 'impasse' than Fontainebleau. I had managed to put 2 out of 3 of mine to bed last year - La Balance and Eclipse - but there's one left that keeps biting me on the arse...

Still, a good work out if nothing else. I tell you though, I ain't going home till it's done.

I'm making progress on Atresie, if anybody's interested. Those crimps are damn small! Another amazing Rempart classic.

Forecast looks good for next week, so hopefully a report filled with fun and triumph. Right, off to Milly for flan et tarte au citron. This, as my Dad says, is more like the France I've come to know and love! A Bientot!

Source: 2013

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Peripheralia - The Devil's in the Detail
16 February 2013, 8:07 am

For those of a certain age, getting into climbing was a fairly daunting task. So much to master - camming hexes into horizontal breaks (those rigid stemmed friends just didn't look right jutting out a mile); equalising your anchors; learning to hand jam in perfectly parallel slots in climbing walls made of bricks (!); rock 7 and above on wire or dyneema? Dilemmas dilemmas! And, as if that weren't enough, we had to aspire to things like Downhill Racer, Hairless Heart, Right Wall ("a must for all aspiring young tigers") Positron and The Cad as mere stepping stones to the Big Prizes. But we were lucky, we had Big Ron on hand to help us out...



You see our heros didn't just post endless videos of themselves doing 8c's, oh no. They taught us things, useful things: how to bridge up a corner, how to finger-lock, how to abseil on a Munter hitch when you'd dropped your stitcht plate into the sea, how to wear a bandana. The essentials. All this, and Careless Torque in 1987. Legend. It says in Fawcett on Rock, if you could cut Ron in half (don't anybody, please), it would say climbing down the middle. OK, the imagery's a bit odd,  it kind of implies that not only is he very good at climbing rocks, and is very passionate about it, but also that he actually is a stick of rock. Nevermind. I remember when I first moved to Llanberis in 1994, driving up a very wet Llanberis Pass and looking up at the Cromlech: "Come on arms, do your stuff!" was all I could think. Inspiration. The french verb to strengthen, or reinforce is even 'renforcer'. I'm sure it's not a coincidence.

I suppose what I'm getting at is that Ron is a legend, performing at levels others could only dream of, ahead of his time, a source of inspiration. But, I think he missed some essential stuff out of Fawcett on Rock. But don't worry, I'm here to set the record straight.

Peripheral - concerned with relatively minor, irrelevant or superficial aspects of the subject in question.

Minor to some, maybe, but perhaps the difference between success and failure. To be fair, for those in the upper echelons of climbing ability, these little things are unlikely to interupt the flow of, what seems like, continuous upwards movement. Ned, for example, only ever seems to go skywards, or outwards across a big roof. Nacho, similarly, grabs something way above his head, and with a slight grunt, but no discernible effort, the same hold appears at waist level. Spooky. For others though, such as myself, everything has to be right.

I know I've talked about attire before, but it's a deep and complicated subject, so bear with me.

Belts - I'm no belt wearer. I see no point in carrying unwanted baggage with me up a problem. Especially some silver studded Dave Pickford Harley-Davidson monstrosity. But, if you're going to wear a belt, let it do it's job, and cinch it up tight. I was lucky enough to witness Rob Fielding's ascent of Tristesse the other day, success that he put down to a "world record level of belt tightness". So if you must buckle up, do it properly.

Jeans - I just don't get it. They're heavy, cumbersome, they don't keep you warm and they soak up water like a thirsty camel. Made of sponge. Plus, who wants blood/chalk/dirt all over their going-out trousers. OK, I don't go out: staying-in trousers.

Shoelaces - Fine if you're Tyler Landmann, but in the world of mediocrity that I inhabit, where potential redpoint mishap is lurking behind every foothold, undone shoelaces are a surefire recipe for disaster. Come on, you've managed to get up, get some breakfast, get to the crag, warm up, brush the holds, and make sure your tee-shirt shows off your muscles. You've set your camera up, probably video-ed the drive-to and the walk-in to the crag, possibly along with last night's dinner and game of cards, pontificated on why-you-like-climbing-so-much, and why-it's -so-important-to-you (hint: nobody gives a shit), and now it's time to actually Do Your Project. How much extra effort is it, really, to DO YOUR FUCKING LACES UP?!

Trousers (general). I know, I sound like a cracked record, but this is the last time I promise (unlikely). But it's important. Look at it from a risk-benefit point of view, when is it EVER going to be beneficial to have your trousers (Brits, please continue to use the word "trousers", never become complacent to creeping Americanisation of our language) hanging off your bum? Plus, it doesn't look good. Maybe if your Calvin Kleins were dazzling white, but as you're a scrubby climber, they're not. They're grey. And a little bit frayed. And we don't want to see them.

Packing your bag. 2 left shoes and no right shoe do not a successful redpoint make. Take a few seconds to make sure you have at least one of each. Did you eat your banana from last week? If not, take it out. Squashed, rotten banana all over your shoes/clothes/chalkbag are not conducive to a calm redpoint. Move your bag/stuff away from where you are climbing - falling onto your flask will likely lead to a sprained ankle. Falling on your sandwiches will not do them much good. And please, lay your stick-brush down, the Doctors will not believe you when you tell them how it happened.

Food. Eating a massive bagette crammed with boiled egg, ham, cheese, cornichons and salad between redpoints is very nice, but ultimately pointless. You might as well pack a little rucksack of supplies and carry it with you up your project. You'll enjoy it much more when you've done it anyway. Malt loaf? You might as well put a brick up your jumper.

Concentration and general etiquette. This is more about respecting other people's needs for a pleasant crag environment. Don't start a conversation with somebody if they are obviously about to have an attempt. Yes, it may be very pressing for you to find out the name of the problem on the "back of the block next to that one over there", but just wait a few moments. If I'm trying a problem, and you're on a rest day walk-about, don't come and fondle the holds with your big, greasy, cheese-flavoured hands, and walk all over my pads with your muddy trainers. In fact, sod off completely. Phew, good to get that off my chest. All better now...

So, what's been going on? Weather continues to be mixed, but with some primo conditions on the good days. Pancakes, it would seem, are quality night-before-climbing fodder - and why not? Milk, eggs, sugar. Recovery food in disc-form.



We had the gite-owners round for pancakes - classic lemon and sugar on wafer thin, frilly-edged beauties - cidre (the real thing, not some Stella abomination), and a chance to practice my French (note the dictionary, ever at my side). We managed to talk about Ken Loach films - Monique (in the foreground 'adores' Ken Loach) - I've never seen The Angel's Share, but it's on the list, and even crack a joke (poor) about horsemeat in the British food chain.

And climbing. Wednesday was Brits-do-7c-day! Early start to Rempart after 4 rest days, most things still a bit damp. I'm caught by Rob Fielding doing my finger-board warm-up. I don't know Rob that well, but I've always put him in that catergory of climbers who 'get things done'. He didn't disappoint. In fact all-in-all, a great day. Somewhere around 11am, I did Big Boss (at possibly my, 40th? 50th? attempt. 2 minutes later, Rob eased his way up Tristesse... topping out with "Crushing Cuvier Rempart with Joe Le Sage, it doesn't get any better than that!" closely followed by "World record level of belt tightness!" Later on, at Rocher Greau, Vickie put the icing on the cake with Supplement d'Armes assis: Font 7c. In Font. That, my friends, is what we're talking about. (She was later to jump off a low boulder and sprain her ankle (it's getting better). Div. Oh well, it's rained since then anyway.

In the Fontainebleau tradition, I'm calling it 'Big Boss sans' - There are two methods for Big Boss, and this ought to be acknowledged - as it is for, say, La Balance ('La Balance sans' 8a - without the chipped hold). Big Boss with and without dab. Some people seem to think it's OK to lie down on the rock behind to match into the flake. No way buddy! No Cigar! Stemming the groove not allowed!

That reminds me, on the subject of peripheralia - re-charge your camera battery. Especially if you've video-ed yourself 15 times falling off the same move. Ours just made it through, but it was touch and go. Managed to get Vics' ascent of Supplement d'Armes, but it was lucky she did it that go...

Source: 2013

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Atrésie - Realisation of a Dream
18 February 2013, 7:09 pm

SELF-INDULGENT BLOG POST ALERT!

If, like me, you find this type of self-congratulatory piffle tiresome, intolerable and completely unnecessary, you may want to switch channel. I've never been a fan of the 'broadcast mentality' that social media encourages, but at the same time, it's quite beguiling.

Anyway, don't say you haven't been warned. If you're still tuned in, you've only got yourselves to blame.

Today folks, I did my first Font 8a in Font: Atrésie. A Cuvier Rempart classic. And boy, am I chuffed?! In fact, I'm still in a state of disbelief. I first thought it might be possible exactly a year ago today, after doing Big Golden. I've basically trained pretty much specifically for it since then. Those weeks and months of endless campus-boarding, dead-hangs and pull-ups - steadfastly refusing to get on the latest comp wall problems and actually Have Some Fun (or, god-forbid, actually go climbing outside) - are now worth it. If this isn't what climbing is all about, I don't know what is: choosing a classic, working it out, and putting it together on a beautiful day.

So there you go. It's not that often in life you get to pat yourself on the back and say "bloody good effort, lad", but it feels good when you do.

Whatever next?

Source: 2013

[a dense loner]

Bloody good effort lad. What a boulder problem

[comPiler]

The Early Bird (paean to the pre-dawn start)
28 February 2013, 7:39 am

I'm going to share a secret with you. I really shouldn't. It's not as if I want you all to start crowding the crags instead of lounging in bed. It's just that I don't think you will. And I want you to know what you're missing out on...

You want perfect conditions? You want classic problems to yourself? You want mesmerizing skies and beautiful light? Air so cold it could shatter? And the smug self-righteousness of seizing the day - leaving the crag with the warm glow of effort as the sun turns the jugs to slopers - to relax in the knowledge that you got out there, gave it everything, and still got home in time for an 11 o clock brew! Just set your alarm, crank up the coffee maker, get your climbing shoes on the radiator, and get going!

Some of my best memories have been from the early start: walking across frost-crusted sand to Eclipse with the air stinging my nose, doing Blind Fig at dawn (before racing to a wedding in Somerset by lunchtime), multiple sessions at Cuvier with the sun coming up through the trees, and the crag to ourselves - Controle Technique, Aerodynamite, Berezina, Atrésie, Infidele, Éclipse and many others have all succumbed to the early start.

This morning, beating the sun to Rempart, I was rewarded with the most beautiful sunrise:



Sure, some of my most painful experiences have been pre-dawn. The intense coldness of the rock on fingers unprepared for such a shock. De-icing the car. Hot aches. Trying to warm up with aching muscles and sore skin on those 'last day' final-ditch efforts (usually futile!) But also some of the most rewarding - the morning on Éclipse, -3 degrees, sun coming up over the sand, holds like velcro; Coffee & cake in the sun at Krotenseer Turm after doing Ira Tecknocratie as the masses arrive; Finally grovelling up the finishing mantle of Aerodynamite as the sun started to turn the holds to mush; Atrésie in perfect conditions without another soul around.

And last week, an unexpected classic - Infidele. I've tried it before, without much success, but was warmed up just as the sun started to burn the overnight moisture off the holds. The pinch felt twice as good as previously. Right place, right time...

 Since then, it's been pretty soggy. Vics managed a session on Atomic Playboy on Sunday - it was hard yakka with the snow falling and the mercury hovvering around zero. ?

Today, it continues to drizzle (I know, grafters, you feel REALLY sorry for us!), but the forercast is good, and skin has recovered from last week's efforts. Scrabble skills are improving again and books are being read. The pile of postcards however, still sit, unwritten, on the window sill. More tea bags will need to be bought - the perils of a wet week in Font!

Source: 2013

[Bonjoy]

Nice. Good blogging as ever yoot  .

[Duma]

Wasn't Born to Follow: 
Haven't heard that for a long time - thank you.

Atresie is pretty sweet too.

[Wood FT]

Top blogs, good rants and thoughts

[Jaspersharpe]

Twat. Well done etc.

[comPiler]

Heroes
6 March 2013, 5:28 pm

It's a funny sport, climbing, where heroes and superstars are concerned. We're surrounded by them. We all climb at the same places, sleep in the same campsites and car parks, eat at the same cafés, and even go to the same parties. I remember when I first lived in Llanberis, in '94, meeting a friend in Pete's Eats, and finding myself on a table with Paul Pritchard, Adam Wainwright and George Smith. This trio were all over the mags at the time, and here they were, offering me their chips. (I think they were writing up some new Wen Zawn Horrorshow, and wondering whether 'hanging flange' was a recognised piece of geological terminology).

Living in Sheffield, you can hardly set foot in the Climbing Works without tripping over Ben Moon, Nic Sellars or John Welford. Oh and there's Ron (100 whites in a day? No bother); Mina Leslie-Wujastyk, just popped in for a bit of campus boarding after the latest express ascent of Careless-whatever; Ned's over there (with Mickey Paige), honing the power between Swiss desperates and the World Cups, Alex is burning off everybody, Sam Whittaker is schmoozing away between laps of his latest enduro-creation, and Ed Hamer is coming to the end of his 6 hour power phase - just 4 hours of power-endurance to go... And I've not even got my bloody shoes on yet.

I'm not here to big these lot up though, inspiring as they are. I decided I wanted to write about a few people that you don't read about in the mags, or on the internet; they don't have blogs, or scorecards, and they often don't even get to the pub much to tell you what they're up to. But do these people exist? And who the hell are they? Jon Fulwood - devouring rock like a one-man locust swarm. Impressive as his talents and psyche are, you only need open a guidebook to see what he's been up to. The sheer amount of his discoveries and first ascents are impressive, but to include such gems as Low Rider, The Golden Egg & Sale Goose mean that he has increased the standard of what constitutes a 3 star boulder problem.

John Welford, again hardly an unknown, but his ability to stay strong and focussed (even after an operation to re-attach part of his bicep) is an inspiration to all. His list of first ascents, coupled with recent ticks like The Screaming Dream, and classic photos - I'm thinking Evolution - put him firmly into the catergory of legend.

There was, however, one person I had in mind, when I begun this missive on Heroes. My good friend, Gavin Ellis, sorry I mean Dave 'Magic' Musgrove. Here's a a man who's straight off the sofa, and halfway up a grit E6 before you can say "I don't mind slinging an ab rope down it Dave and checking the gear". I first met Dave in Arapiles in '97. He'd already on-sighted most of the E5's in Yorkshire at that point, flashed Free and Easy (7c+) and head-pointd Marrowbone Jelly. He demolished most of the Araps 25s & 26s pretty sharpish, along with half the routes on Taipan Wall. We went to El Chorro in 2001. It took me at least an hour to get the clips in Lourdes; Dave about 15 mins to Flash it. But it's on the Grit that he continues to make me feel like a clumsy, yellow-bellied punter. 'Flashing' Master's Edge about 15 years after a single top-rope; cool on-sights of Perplexity (E6), Linden (E6), Shape of Things to Come (E6), Ulysses' Bow (E6) above a very inadequate snow platform. And in the last few years, despite being a very dedicated father of three, Ground ups of Committed (E6), White Water (E6), White Lines (E7), The Bad & the Beautiful (E6/7), plus flashes of Lost World (E6), Charlotte Rampling (E6) and Heaven Can Wait (E6)

Bouldering-wise, he flashed 'Woodology' on his first visit to The School (probably the most significant ascent on the list). I remember a 3-day Font hit in 2005 with Dave & 'Rocket Man' Rob Smith. 3 days of perfect February Font conditions. 3 days of non-stop action. By day 3, Rob and I could do no more than a few Isatis reds. I felt like I'd had a stroke - my whole left side was numb, my left arm was twitching involuntarily and my tips felt like they'd been put through some sort of industrial cheese-grater. Dave, meanwhile, polished off about 25 Isatis whites, and finished the day with Mur des Lamentations. Ouch!

Basically, he's a bloody bastard and he continues to get off the sofa and burn me off, despite me spending every spare moment of my life training and climbing. I guess there's no accounting for talent. Anyway, Happy Birthday Dave. I hope you have a lovely day.

As for Font, weather-wise continues to be mixed (to be kind). Have managed a few good sessions. VERY close to Hypothese - my all-time Font dream problem. Vics' ankle is improving. She's climbing on it and even jumping off some low things. Less than 4 weeks left. Blimey, doesn't time fly. Have managed to fit in a Paris-Brest (all-time dream cake tick), some Wild Boar paté, more Toulouse sausages and some amazing Fromage du Brebis (Sheep's milk cheese). We love France!

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Paris-Brest: 100% Yum[/td][/tr]

[/table]Plus, who says Citroens aren't cool?

[tr][td][/td][/tr][tr][td]Citroen SM - Superfly[/td][/tr]

[/table]

Source: 2013

[comPiler]

Love at First Sight
15 March 2013, 7:52 pm

You see her. You need her. Heart beats faster. Knees go weak. You know that your life will never be the same until you have her in your hands. Yeah, it might be pushing it somewhat to liken a route or boulder problem to a teenage crush, but you know those things - you see them and (like Jamie Lee Curtis in A Fish Called Wanda) they become lodged in the part of your brain that controls desire. Only by climbing them will you escape them. They are like branches caught in a stream. Life flows on around them, but get too close, and you'll be dragged into their eddy, going round and round until you dislodge the branch, and life can resume its normal flow.

What is it about these climbs that grab you? It may be a photo in a magazine or guidebook - who doesn't want to grow their hair, get out the denim cut-off's and do Strapadictomy? Malcolm "HB" Matthieson  on Scirocco. Wolfgang on La Rose. Ben on Agincourt with that immortal caption "When 6c's not hard anymore, and 6b's approaching a rest!": Of course you want to do these things. Become part of the story that these routes could tell. It may be a video. I knew I had to climb Lord of the Flies after seeing Fawcett on Rock Athlete. I'd only been climbing about 2 months at that point, but I was bitten. When I moved to Llanberis a year later, the itch started, almost imperceptibly at first, but as the years passed the itching grew, awaiting the final scratch. You may even fall in love face-to-face, although I doubt the feeling is reciprocated. Unrequited love with a peice of rock. Tragic. For me, London Wall sits at the top of this pile. I clamped eyes on it on my second time climbing in '92. I led Embankment Route 2 that day. But I knew I'd be back for a bigger fish. Guidebook descriptions play a part. Powerband: "A peak rite of passage", Right Wall: "A must for all aspiring young tigers"; The Super Calabrese: "Certain death for both members of the party, should the leader fluff the second pitch". OK, not that one...

Difficulty is no doubt a factor in the magnetism of these climbs: The longer they sit there, the more they exert their pull. Growing inside you like a seperate entity, they take on a personality. You become familiar with them. With boulder problems particularly, you may have a yearly 'feasibility study', and in that way learn something of their subtleties. This only fans the flames of desire. It isn't surprising that there can be a sense of loss once they're done.

History plays a role. Some routes stand out as defining an era or style. Comes the Dervish, which comes with its own quote: "It's alright man, we're experienced rock cats", Cobwebs at Arapiles (possibly the hardest route in the world when it was done), The Cad, Reve d'un Papillon, Serpentine, C'Était Demain, Dreamtime. These routes are landmarks in climbing history.

Some things transcend analysis. Perhaps they combine all the above factors. It seems as though they've always been there, tugging gently at you, even before they ever entered the realm of feasibility. They need to be climbed. The Thing, Karma, Careless Torque, Partage. Like ripe fruits hanging just out of reach...

For me there's been one problem that's been lodged deep inside, like a splinter, for 12 long years - beautiful, basic, the epitome of Fontainebleau: Hypothese. To me, Hypothese IS bouldering. Nowhere to hide. Just a series of poor holds, and virtually nothing for the feet. Sure, for the real men of this world - the Ben Moons & Jerry Moffatts, the Stu Littlefairs and Tim Palmers - it probably presents no more difficulties that getting across the car park without slipping on a condom. But for spindly weaklings like myself, it has always felt just plain too hard. Predictably, this only added to the allure.

Every year, without fail, I  give it a try. The meat of the problem is protected by an aggressive first crimp, and I was always sent packing with my tail between my legs, unable to risk wasting a week's climbing with a split tip.

This year it felt different. The first move more controlled, making the crimp less abrasive. Armed with good skin, a step ladder to work the second move, and (most importantly) a pair of tights, I was able to piece it together, and finally dislodge the branch.

Hypothese: Beauty, simplicity, difficulty - all rolled into 3 moves. My all-time number-1 mega Font dream tick.



Source: 2013

[Wood FT]

Top blog, well done

[Fiend]

And there I was thinking climbing was about number-chasing and ticking grades 

[Luke Owens]

Brilliant post! A great read, top effort on the tick!

[davej]

well done just watched your vid you made it look easy !!

[Adam Lincoln]

Just found this blog Joe. Great blogging. Living the dream!

[comPiler]

Days Like These...
23 May 2013, 7:41 pm

*** Cod Philosophy Alert ***

You are entering a zone of glib over-simplification

Proceed with caution

"Peace, bread, work and freedom is the best we can achieve,

 and wearing badges is not enough,

 in days like these..."                                           Billy Bragg

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These words have been going round in my head A LOT in the past few months (I wrote this in March). That said, my internal interpretation, the way they make me feel, isn't what Billy had in mind. Partly anyway. I think it supposed to be a call to action. Don't just sit on your arses, get out there and make a change (wearing badges is not enough). To me, these words emphasise how sodding lucky I am; how lucky we all are in our cossetted 21st century lives. Leisure time, foreign travel, disposable income; weekends, paid holidays, career breaks to do what? Climb little bits of rock! And then we have the temerity to complain when it rains! When we have bad skin! When it's a bit greasy!! And what shall we have for tea? Beef bourguignon? Prawn laksa? Spicy bean quesadillas? Red or white darling? German wheat beer or IPA?

I remember trying Sean's Arete at Curbar one winter's evening with Grimer. It was freezing, snowing heavily, getting dark. "What sort of luxury is this?" Grimer asks. And he was right: worried about where your next meal's coming from? Keeping warm? Your own government murdering your entire family? No chance. Easy life! (hmmm, actually our government are slowly strangling the weakest, most vulnerable members of our society, so perhaps that's a bad example...)

So what am I saying? That we should jettison the luxury? Er, no. Just that by explicitly appreciating it you will feel better about your life, yourself, your family. Yeah you've had a bad session, split a tip, fumbled the last move, but if you arrive home with that as your main thought, you ain't going to be happy. I'm not some Californian "everything's great" type. I love darkness and cynicism. But I try and find something positive in every climbing session (even if it's just how not to do a move!), and that way I try to never leave the crag feeling negatively about the problem or my ability to do it.

Back to Billy. "Days like these": it's that last line that sums it up for me. Driving to the crag with the morning sun angling through the trees, the thermometer hovering around zero, the whole day ahead with a forestful of classics to go at. Days like these: they disappear into the past so quick. Actively appreciate them. You are in complete control of the 'actuality' of your past. Store your memories as positive, and you will look back on your life as positive. Store them as negative, disappointing, unfulfilling, and that is how you will feel about your life.

Something else. I recently read a book called Canada by Richard Ford. The final paragraph sums it up: "what I know is, you have a better chance in life - of surviving it - if you tolerate loss well; manage not to be a cynic through it all; to subordinate, as Ruskin implied, to keep proportion, to connect the unequal things into a whole that preserves the good, even if good is not often simple to find."

Back to the present... I'm not sure where that came from - it was the final week in Font; the halfway stage of our trip. We're in Squamish now, with only 5 weeks to go and these ideas seem even more pertinent. Perhaps it's the increasing thoughts of home, of work, that have caused me to post them. It's been amazing - 5 months down and 1 to go. Life is too short and we work too much. This is my call to arms - take a step back from your busy schedules. Look at your lives. Make time for the things that make you happy. Store your memories positively. And appreciate what you've got.?

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Source: 2013