A burnt offering28 April 2015, 12:03 pmIt is nine days since I set my hand on fire.
It happened about 6pm on Sunday evening, the day before my birthday. I was clearing up prunings in the garden and using a shredder. Sonia had called out that dinner was virtually ready so I was keen to finish up. A recalcitrant bundle of willow twigs resisted going down the slot so I decided to burn them. I set fire to some newspaper under the bundle and stood there with a petrol can in some doubt as to whether to liven it up a bit as the twigs didn’t seem to be catching. I paused with indecision but reverted to my default response of JFDI (just fucking do it).
The bundle instantly flared up into a fireball setting my right hand and shirt sleeve on fire. I dropped the petrol can which was also on fire and ran away screaming. I tried unsuccessfully to pat the fire out with my other arm which didn’t work. Still running I tried to unbutton my shirt at the same time but was impeded by my mind being engulfed with an unimaginable pain like I’d never experienced. The shirt wasn’t coming off and there was nothing else close by I could use to smother the flames with. In desperation I dived into the flower bed and rolled around. I didn’t expect this to work. But it did. Thank god.
The searing pain didn’t let up though. Later it came and went in waves. It was hard to talk when a fresh wave hit. There was glorious relief when a nurse put it under a cold water tap but the pain came back resurgent three seconds later when my hand had adopted to the fresh novelty of this experience. I left A&E with my hand covered in cream and in a plastic bag. The pain had largely gone by midnight so the sleeping tablet they’d given me wasn’t necessary,
I was re-bandaged the following day and trained on my board in the evening mainly doing moves off my left arm. I must have still been on an adrenaline high. Since then I have felt tired and listless and not forced myself back to the board. My appetite has been low and now so is my weight which is one good spin-off. Probably won’t last though. Last couple of evenings I have started to drink wine. It helps with the pain and cheers myself up.
My hand probably wouldn’t hurt too much except that I have been instructed to do some physio stretches. Curling my fingers into a fist using my other hand is a fight against the newly formed taut skin and then hurts for a couple of hours after. Maybe I’m forcing it too hard. Don’t want to lose my ability to crimp though.
The main affected areas are the back of my hand and the backs of my mid two fingers. There is now a nice new patch of pink skin on the back of my hand but the fingers are taking longer to grow new skin. I’m told it will probably be a further two weeks before bandaging is no longer required.
The bandage has to remain dry so showering is awkward. Washing my left armpit is a particular challenge. My tips are exposed so typing is fine. Writing and holding utensils is harder. My grip is fine and I can drive. Having an automatic is helpful.
Generally keeping my hand up is best - if I let it drop then blood rushes to it and it feels very uncomfortabe. Fortunately I had already been retraining myself to sleep on my back to alleviate shoulder issues. Going to sleep on my back with my hand on my chest seems to work for my hand as well. Sleep is a very welcome escape at the moment.
I have had a good number of crap-at-life moments and this is up there with the best. Abseiling off the end of my rope, buying Northern Rock shares days before it went bust. The list goes on. I try to learn from my mistakes. Throwing petrol on a fire has obvious risk so no great lesson there for me or anyone else. More illuminating is the human factors that led me to do such a stupid thing. Impatience coupled with a gung-ho attitude was the root cause. This sort of thing leads to go-for-it overtaking manoeuvres if stuck behind a slow moving vehicle. Whilst I have got away with this till now I am going to try to curb my impatience ‘going forward’. I’m sure this will come as something of a relief to my Malham passengers.
Talking of Malham my Oak campaign had been going well. I started early on February 10th as the route was unexpectedly dry. This was a month earlier than last year and meant enduring some Baltic sessions – a session with Ashley Lewis was the worst I think. I felt strong on the moves particularly the throw move but a shoulder issue seemed to inhibit me on some of the higher gaston moves.
There was a good team vibe and with some new faces joining the regulars including Ben Moon who I persuaded to go onto Rainshadow (he didn’t take much persuading). Later Mina joined the party trying the Oak and Bat Route. Paul Reeve held off initially making a strategic decision to stay indoors to continue his training before getting on the bus. Steve Mac was iffy with his shoulder but came good. It was great to see him and Ben climb together for the first time. Sam Harvie, Andy Cave and Dave Hesleden were other regulars in the car. Although I kept plugging away, the key link from the ground to the horn eluded me.
At the start of April I took a break spending a week bouldering indoors and then a week at Font. By the time I went back to Malham I was uncertain where I would be. The temperature was by now much better and planning around the sun and shade was required. First go on and the start moves suddenly felt a grade easier. I didn’t get the key link that day but could feel it was now on. Returning on the Friday I got the key link and reaching my all-time highpoint not once but twice. I was ecstatic and made arrangements to return on Monday 20th, my birthday. Obviously it was not to be.
I don’t know when my hand will be in a fit state to go back on the Oak but it is likely to be mid May at best. By then my skin and physical condition will have deteriorated and it will be too hot for optimal redpointing. If it turns out temperature is cool enough maybe I'll head up otherwise it would be more prudent to start climbing locally again and generally work towards being in condition physically and mentally for an Autumn onslaught.
Thanks for bearing with me if you’ve read this far – it’s been cathartic.
Source: The Shark
