[SA Chris]

Can't be that hard you didn't even take your shirt off.

[Nibile]

I don't think I did it in fact...
Can't be that hard. 

[comPiler]

HOW THINGS ARE: A REALIZATION
24 August 2017, 12:52 pm

2017 had started in a very good way. On a freezing and sunny early January's morning, I found myself going to a new, for me, bouldering area. Eyes on the prize, I managed to climb a 7c in a few goes and split a couple of fingers. With a migthy 4° in full sunshine and a crimpy roof, things do not come much better. Fast forward a few months, in April I had climbed a four years old board project, something that I had sometimes thought I would never climb. Four years trying a problem that played to all my strengths, mean that it's probably quite hard and I felt it like a monumental achievement. Possibly the hardest thing I've ever climbed. Then I made a mistake. I went back climbing. High temps, baby skin, lower back pain and other trivial excuses couldn't make up for a generally terrible climbing experience. I repeated this mistake again and again until this past weekend, after which I decided to face the cold, hard truth: I have come to the end of my rock climbing career. I have an enormous desire, a need perhaps, to perform. Possibly, to outperform others in terms of strength and power. But mostly to outperform my own self. I've come to this moment thinking that I would keep progressing despite age, work committments, injuries. And to some extent I have, but simply not on rock. There is a gap, between what I can physically do in a safe environment, and what I can climb on rock, that is embarassing. But most that anything else, I feel that I've come - close - to the end of my physical potential. Two of my best weapons, that have granted me so many climbs, that is crimping and heel hooking, are no more such. Crimping has become quite hard to bear, and at times unbearable. My fault, obviously. You can't spend session after session on front2 full crimps on the small BM edge without being handed a pricey bill at some time. Not if you're 45 years old, anyway. After boning down on some proper crimps, the upper side of my index fingers DIP joints gets so painful that it hurts to do simple, everyday's life tasks like using a fork or a knife, or twisting a car key. It is frankly terrifying. I think that, simply, the connective tissue between the bones has gone. Heel hooking has become nearly impossible, for both the state of my knees and of my hamstrings. After a couple of serious heel hooks I start to limp, the pain becomes unbearable and I feel that, should I push on, something big and serious is going to break for good. After yesterday's heel hooking - four tries in total - today I can't bend my right knee past 90° without feeling a stinging pain and without the knee collapsing down. Luckily, as I said, I can still perform: only, in the safe environment of my board, where heel hooks are impossible. Full crimps are still a problem though. I need to get familiar with the fact that I can't climb hard on rock anymore. I have my board, my BM, my various one arm edges, the Lattice Edge and so may other toys to enjoy. And I can enjoy them at their full potential, with a long and boring warm up, fans and air conditioning to make the best of the given conditions and a plethora of paraphernalia that I simply can't have out there on ze rocks. Plus, physical problems aside, I don't know how to climb anymore. I've never been Mr. Technique, but fuck me, now things are ridiculous. I lost any movement fantasy and intuition, and all my climbing skills are: plant foot on small foothold; become a steel beam; get next positive hold. I can't move on anything else.  I get frustrated if I can't climb hard. And I don't like it. It's been good, even great, until it lasted. In the past, I had already understood that I was mainly a board climber and a trainer, but then I've had some good success on some hard things and this led me to think that maybe it wasn't over yet on rock. I was wrong. Climbing hard on rock now would involve so many complicated things that it's basically impossible: from the choice of a suitable problem, to the time to try it, to getting good conditions, to motivation. I am a bit sad, but not so sad. As long as I can climb, or keep trying, my board projects, progress on the dead hangs and move big amounts of iron, I am happy and I feel that I still have a lot to give. I can now dedicate my full self to the most useless pursuit of Strength.  

 

Source: TOTOLORE

[Fiend]

Good luck nibble. Sorry to hear about the physical degenerations.

[fried]

 

[tomtom]

Play to your strengths Lore - find overhanging small hold wall problems (peak lime is a good bit distant example) in sensible conditions - and focus on these.

As I get older I've realised that I'm never going to be able to get my heel near my ears and use it - or be any good at dyno's... so I just avoid problems that ain't my style!!!

[Murph]

Keep your chin up Nibs. Your ultimate form is still ahead of you. Have a break then you'll come back better than ever.

[Nibile]

Cheers guys, much appreciated.
 

[Hoseyb]

I'm 43 and thrive on technicalities and 3d Ness and am rubbish at knuckling down to proper training. However,  if I can find the fun in working my weaknesses then I have a chance. If you're after brutality with type 2 fun? Maybe try offwidths.. 

[Nibile]

Maybe try offwidths.. 

Cheers for the suggestion Hosey, but I have to decline: I don't need yet another type of climbing to suck at...
 

[Hoseyb]

That's the good thing about offwidths.  Pretty much everyone does suck at it, so you're all in the same boat. Hope you find fun in whatever you do. Knowing your love of science and tests, functional mobility testing might be something to Google.  Loads of testing to be done there

[Monolith]

Lore, this was a frank and brutal piece of writing. I feel sure that making some adjustments to your routines and goals will allow some of these micro traumas to heal or at the very least settle down. I refuse to believe that your days of hard rock climbing are anywhere near over. Besides, there's no room for new members in the UKB has-been-fell-runner-club yet. Pull on those shoes and focus champ.

[DAVETHOMAS90]

 

Keep your chin up Nibs. Your ultimate form is still ahead of you. Have a break then you'll come back better than ever.

This       We're with you Lore x. You've been asking these questions for a while now, and I've been thinking "I know what you mean". I was telling a friend of mine yesterday, that I don't climb in the old way; the heights are no longer limitless - not that they ever were really of course. I'm 50 next year, and I know that my highest potential peak is still beyond where I've been before. These days, I can't keep moving forward, always fighting and winning. The hardest challenge is learning to be more tactical, choosing my battles. I think, that given it has taken so long for you to reach this point, that suggests how much great potential you still have.  When I'm at the crag, I try to rein things in a bit, so I very rarely "try" things, instead looking for good training opportunities. Refining the process has become a very rewarding challenge. Salut! 

[Ru]

Chin up Lore, its probably not that bad. You've probably not removed the cartilege from the joints, you may have chronic inflammation. I'd lay off the crimping for a bit for starters. If you want a real opinion go and see Volker Schoeffl in Bamberg. I'm climbing with him this weekend and will try and remember to ask for an informal opinion, but he will probably just say what I've said above. If you genuinely like climbing bits of rock, now is the time to try and iron out some weaknesses rather than continually just training the same things you have spent 20 years training. Let the overtrained/injured bits recover, get better at everything else, put it all back together in a year or so. I genuinely think you could be a better climber in another 5 years time and probably just as strong.

[Fiend]

Good psyche and support in this thread 

[Nibile]

 
Cheers guys, UKB is a nice place to be.
I'll try and follow the various advices, keeping my proverbial calm and patience...
In hindsight, I feel that part of the gloominess of my blog entry was due to the frustration of not climbing anything hard in my latest sessions on rock. I surely overlooked the fact that all these sessions were in 20+ degrees and in less that ideal physical conditions.
I've been thinking about - brace yourselves, this is a big one - tying into a rope again. I have a couple of dream routes that I've always wanted to do since starting climbing, and one of these is not so far from home, just a couple of hours drive.
So, who knows, maybe this coming Autumn could bring something new!
The problem with the bouldering, really, is that I've basically done everything I wanted to, in the range of a few hours drive. This led me to focusing on my board - that, by the way, is a marvellous thing to do - where the possibilities are endless and everything's close.
I also became very lazy. Packing everything, pads, driving, preparing the food for the day, it's all become a great effort, and I rarely want to endure it as of late. Again, in a downward spiral, this led to going climbing with little or no food for the day, not enough pads, and so on, producing bad sessions, etc. etc.
Let's see, maybe the key is really in the change. Surely the key is in the change.
It could really be refreshing to keep hammering the board and then going sport climbing every once in a while. I have a few dedicated friends that can set topropes for me!

Cheers again for the support!

[erm, sam]

How about treating "regaining real rock technique" in as focussed a way as you treat "gaining finger strength". Harder to do in terms of fitting it in to a busy life if you don't live near a crag, but entirely doable, instead of turning up to rock climb after not much recent rock action and expecting to have perfect technique.

Tying on to a rope is a great idea, ideally don't immediatly start seiging somethign hard though..

[Richie Crouch]

Come to Font in October and relearn graceful balletic movement with me on some blue circuits! 

[Murph]

I honestly don't know how you do it Nibs. Putting everything into training to go out very rarely on actual rock. If you were a professed natural than it'd be easier to understand but "strong and no technique" really isn't stacking the cards in your favour for the times you do go out in project crush mode.

To relate from my experience, albeit on an entirely different level to yours - obvs. Well, if I haven't gone out on rock in a while even if I am going well indoors and on the fingerboard, then I expect to get my ass handed to me by even the simplest grit problems. Lime is a bit different because that really is basic style, but the wizardry of grit - I have no chance unless I have gone through a reacquaintence period. Im not sure what it's like on the rocks down your way, but if there is any 3Dness to them then I simply don't know how you can go from punching bag, dead lift and fucking one arming stuff to achieving your potential on the rock.

Another thing, and this is something psychological that Derren Brown tells me is true, but apparently if you set someone three problems to solve, in order, and secretly the first two are impossible then they will not be able to solve the last one either or at least have a poor chance. But if you set them the same third problem with the first two being quite easily solvable then the will get that third one right. Every time.

There's a link somewhere between these anecdotes. I wish you well on your path Lore, you are such an inspiration on this channel!

[the_dom]

Lore, I'll throw this out there (possibly slightly controversially): Quit. Give up. Get your mind around not climbing (or bouldering*) and not being a climber (or boulderer). Remove the pressure. Find something else to enjoy, preferably something that (a) allows you to embrace the beginner mindset, (b) get outside into nature (because getting out into nature is awesome), (c) spend some time getting psyched about it with friends and (d) allows to relax some of the rigid discipline that you have used bouldering to impose on yourself.

Either you'll realise that you miss climbing (or bouldering) enough to be psyched as anything to get back to it, or you won't, and you'll have something else to be psyched on.

I'm not really climbing at the moment, or missing it. The psyche dwindled for me after my last trip, to the point that I couldn't motivate myself to climb. Previously I would have forced myself through it. This time, I asked a mate to take me mountain biking. Now I'm enjoying riding trails to the extent that I'm happy to spend my free time doing it - it ticks the boxes I mentioned above - and the world hasn't ended.

Life's too short for it not to be fun.

* Because there's often a difference - I've used the beginner aspect of sport climbing to get re-psyched on bouldering in the past

[Nibile]

Hey guys, thanks again for the feedback, I like how this thing is coming out, mostly because all your comments are forcing me to reflect over the issue and clarify my thoughts after the initial burst of frustration.
I'll try to put some words down tomorrow.

[Sasquatch]

Lore, I'll throw this out there (possibly slightly controversially): Quit. Give up. Get your mind around not climbing (or bouldering*) and not being a climber (or boulderer). Remove the pressure. Find something else to enjoy, preferably something that (a) allows you to embrace the beginner mindset, (b) get outside into nature (because getting out into nature is awesome), (c) spend some time getting psyched about it with friends and (d) allows to relax some of the rigid discipline that you have used bouldering to impose on yourself.

Either you'll realise that you miss climbing (or bouldering) enough to be psyched as anything to get back to it, or you won't, and you'll have something else to be psyched on.

I'm not really climbing at the moment, or missing it. The psyche dwindled for me after my last trip, to the point that I couldn't motivate myself to climb. Previously I would have forced myself through it. This time, I asked a mate to take me mountain biking. Now I'm enjoying riding trails to the extent that I'm happy to spend my free time doing it - it ticks the boxes I mentioned above - and the world hasn't ended.

Life's too short for it not to be fun.

* Because there's often a difference - I've used the beginner aspect of sport climbing to get re-psyched on bouldering in the past

I second this!

I took a break from climbing for about a 3-4 year span 2006-2010ish for a variety of life/motivation issues, and threw myself into a variety of other things.  When I came back to climbing I found more motivation than ever and in a very different way.  I wasn't intending on returning to climbing, but I found the desire and motivation was there.

[Fiend]

Come to Font in October and relearn graceful balletic movement with me on some blue circuits! 

I'll come along, I reckon I am the epitome of graceful balletic movement on blues*

(* the really easy ones. So at least 20%)

[Nibile]

@ Sam, as you said, I would need lots of rock very close... Probably going sport climbing could sort things out a bit!

@ Rich and Fiend: I can't imagine anything that would kick my ass more than a blue circuit in Font, and probably I'd get absolutely terrified! But I'll come along, portable fingerboard in one hand, fresh croissant in the other, to shout encouragement: "Must try harder!" "Use your feet!" And the obvious "Pas le genoux!!!"

@ Murph, I don't know either. It's what I've always done, and not only in climbing. It's how I am. I'll give you an example: I started playing basketball when I was in primary school and I loved it  and I kept playing until I could. I wasn't gifted for the sport at 170 cm tall, but I wanted to become able to dunk the ball. So I spent one year working my ass off in the gym, squatting, jumping, doing pliometrics, and everything I could bear. I still never dunk a ball, but I could get my whole hand above the rim, and the process in itself was rewarding. Basketball was a mean to exploit my physical abilities at maximum level in that specific field. It's the same with climbing. Leaving aside the magnificence of moving on rock, climbing has given me the opportunity to check my physical limits in every aspect of the discipline, from finger strength, to arm power, to body tension, etc. etc.
I love the physical aspect of things.
I love to train, I love it. To find out a new routine and test it, and progress, is something that I can't do without. That's why, for instance, I got so mad about Olympic style lifting, because it's new and exciting.
Another important aspect of this is that I don't live close to the rocks. It's at least one hour and a half drive, to get to some bouldering or a decent sport crag. Obviously, this meant and means that I couldn't and can't rely on real practice to get better. If you add to this that I love physical problems and routes, you can see how it's been easier to transfer the training onto rock.
This is why it's been so hard, as of late, to find the motivation to go out regularly. I prefer to keep training, improving my physical abilities, and then maybe go somewhere new to have fun on some things before looking for a harder project that suits my strengths. Problem is, these problems are getting rare to find, also because I have a lot less spare time than before.
Another aspect of the issue, one that I never managed to address, is that I can't relate my expectations to the specific conditions. If I go to a grag and I want to climb a certain problem, I don't take in account the fact that it could be too hot, or too greasy, or I may have terrible skin, etc., I want to climb that problem, and I get frustrated if I don't do so.
In hindsight, this has been the major error in my latest outdoor sessions, tha caused so much frustration and ultimately produce the above rant.

@ Sasquatch and Dom, the problem is that I absolutely love climbing. I can't and I don't want to quit  because I love it. In some way I already quit it, at least in terms of going out on rock regularly, but the prospect of going on a little trip and doing new stuff is still quite exciting to be honest. Again, I have to reset my expectations according to the moment, instead of thinking "I want to climb that problem no matter what."
I wouldn't know what else I could do, apart from climbing. I've spent a lot of time and effort to get to this level of physical abilities, and I don't want to lose what I've gained. I could not think about taking a break and losing my pulling power, or my finger strength, or my core tension, because they are all aspects of my training that I love and that I want to keep improving.
I may be less performant on rock than before, but I'm in a better physical shape, I'm more complete.
This is why I am so frustrated especially about my fingers issues, because they are hindering my training and my progresses.
I've done a lot of different sports, but I've never found a discipline, except from climbing, that can be trained under so many aspects.
Maybe after all it's just this aspect that gave me so many problems as of late: the fact that my physical issues are making my training more difficult and are projecting a long shadow over my board projects.
As I've said, my board is the best thing ever. I've built it exactly to suit my needs and to keep me motivated, and it's given me so many satisfactions. It's like having an endless crag at your disposal, full of all the problems that you love to try and climb. And it's close. I've never climbed on rock anything harder than the problems that I've done on the board. My board allows me to climb at my highest physical potential, and this is all I need.

If you made it until here, well congratulations!
I really don't know what else I could say: I wrote that entry in a moment of great disappointment and frustration, I wans't even sure about putting it all down. But now I'm happy I did. The comments here forced me to reflect and analyze, and to ultimately understand myself more.
I really hope that my fingers heal, after all I've been here before, so that I can keep training and bash my head against my board projects.
I also need to sort my head out with respect to my expectations when I go out on rock. There's a right time and place for everything, and as of late I've clearly missed them both. My fault. A big fault with big consequences, as you see.

Hopefully, in a few months time, I'll write something about climbing a project. Board or rock it won't matter, maybe.
Cheers.

[Yossarian]

Chin up Lore - we’ve got a fucking training guide to write!