I thought that cragx was quite funny - looks like "Danny" has been havocing the planetfear forum recently too. They could have sorted it out with a bit of moderation, I think the guy was just winding them up and they all fell for it.
Anyway, off we went to look at Sidetrack Cave, only very recently discovered and looking very nice from the piccies:
We abbed down into the gloomy quarry....the entrance series was ok, quite tight in places with really sticky mud but once past one little squeeze, no real trouble, into a beautifully decorated area where we could all just about fit in comfortably.
Hmmmm....the next bit looked quite fuckin' tasty. Off went Sam, muttering "it looks a bit like Hypothermia but without the water" (Hypothermia is a notoriously hideous passage elsewhere in Derbyshire). This filled me with confidence, as Sam is a lot smaller than me. After quite some time and lots of grunting he was through and JT followed him, also finding it suspiciously tricky. When they were through I shouted "Is it tight?". Usually, they would have said "nah, it's fine" or something along those lines so when I heard "well, there's a few tight bits" I knew that this wasn't going to be pretty.
Off I went. Immediately there was a very tight squeeze which I grunted through to a slight opening, and then another tight bit, which despite a bit of stalactite trying to skewer my chest, was ok. Then next bit however was really tight and by this time I was having doubts about being able to reverse it. I had a bit of a "moment" and much deep breathing to stay calm was needed. I tried to see if I could reverse it the last squeeze, and it was ok, so I had another go...and another....and another.... up ahead the passage went up and over some little hillocks, still tight but looking not as bad. I reckon I might have got through but couldn't see how far the tight section carried on (as it happens I was at the crux), and, as the others had fucked off into the main cave, and Bog was sitting worried behind me in the chamber, I decided to turn back and have a rest.
Easier said than done, reverse squeezing ain't easy coz you can't pull with your feet and can't see where you're going. It was ok, until the squeeze back into the room where Bog was waiting. Nightmare - the sticky mud was gripping my cordura oversuit like a fucking impreza on a fast bend and riding up so much it was crushing my bollocks to the point of agony. This was most unpleasant and in the end the only way to get out was for Bog to grab my legs so I could get some purchase. I eventually popped out.
We had a breather and Bog had a look at the squeezes. No chance (he's another big lad) - he wasn't having it at all and so the descision was made to go back out to the cars to wait for the others.
Here's a pic of the other side of the squeezes where I was trying to get to:
Anyway,
I'll be back - next time I won't wear an extra thermal for warmth as that didn't help, and I'm going to ditch my cordura suit and wear something a bit more slippery - the main problem was the grip of the mud causing the oversuit to ride up and wedging me solid. Also, when the cave has had more traffic, the squeezes should open up a bit.
So, Mr Underground, a return visit will have to be planned, but better equipped next time. The others returned about an hour and a half later and apparantly the rest of the cave is superb and well decorated.
