[SA Chris]

More sat nav goings on!

bluebrad

I sniff rodents. Check the date. And the website.

(although I suspect you know this)

Still funny though.

[tommytwotone]

Home Secretary puts blueys on company tab

I had a little bet with Mrs Sloper as to which cabinet member would be in the news of the screws this week, I lost but what the hell, this is just too good to be true.  So Ms Smith has probably been claiming her second home entertainment budget for years!  Bent as, nothing else to say.

I can understand the pleasure many are having in the various sleazy elements of this story, but it's was only a couple of bongo films FFS.

Am I right in thinking that the majority of the media / population have forgotten Stephen Milligan?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Milligan

[Jaspersharpe]

 

And the rest! Jeffrey Archer anyone? Neil Hamilton? Jonathan Bloody Aitken!? 

I really couldn't care less about the "revelation" that MPs fiddle their expenses. NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!! They will all try to screw as much out of the system as possible. Why do you think they wanted the job in the first place? Sloper's joy is (as usual) completely misplaced as It's only a matter of time before the disgraceful, grubby dealings of another Tory are uncovered. Swings and roundabouts.

[tomtom]

It's only a matter of time before the disgraceful, grubby dealings of another Tory are uncovered. Swings and roundabouts.

Indeed - you could argue that the only reason more Labour MP's are getting 'caught' out now is because there are more of them! 
Thieves, liars and cheats is the best general description of MP's that I have heard....

[tommytwotone]

Lagers' mate from France has been at it again dahhn The Smoke:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20090402/tuk-spider-man-scales-city-landmark-dba1618.html

[tomtom]

Lagers' mate from France has been at it again dahhn The Smoke:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20090402/tuk-spider-man-scales-city-landmark-dba1618.html

Tsk, not even a FA
"He last scaled the Lloyd's building in May 2003 in a publicity stunt to promote the Spider-Man film"
Maybe he left some gear on it last time...

[slackline]

Sense from MPs for once 

As an adult, I think the recommended daily alcohol limit is me drinking as much as I fucking want

[slackline]

Schindler's List rediscovered

Nice idea, shame about the increasingly innumerate population who wouldn't have a clue how to use the information

[slackline]

What a surprise First Group have their grubby mits in morally/ethically dubious investments

Yet another reason to boycott the money grabbing bastards.

[Houdini]

Ha ha, yeah nice one Schindler, shame about the 6 million that slipped under the net ...   Go Spielberg, you fascist cock.




John Rabe is next up in the hotseat as "nazi w/ a conscience" check the film listings for further details.   

[Jaspersharpe]

Sense from MPs for once  

As an adult, I think the recommended daily alcohol limit is me drinking as much as I fucking want

Shame this will do fuck all to stop the major problem facing people who want to run pubs. That being the greedy cunts who charge extortionate amounts for leases, rents, refitting costs, advertising and so on making it virtually impossible to turn a profit. I do the accounts for a few pubs and this is by far the biggest problem. The reason you see loads of pubs with "Lease this pub" or "Business opportunity" on them is that nobody wants to take on what is basically a scam. Work like a dog and give all your profit to the brewery/chain company/landlord? No thanks.

A lot of these places would be perfectly profitable if the lease/rent was just reduced to an acceptable level. All the bleating about tax ignores the fact that (e.g.) wholesalers sell "premium" lagers like Stella to independent boozers for about 90p a pint so if the pub sells it for around £2.70 (some places it's a LOT more) then they are still making about £1.50 profit after VAT is taken into consideration. That's not bad and is certainly a big enough mark up to be able to discount it at certain times for promotions etc etc and still turn a profit.

I can see how in certain cases the problem IS the number of people coming through the door but for many it is simply that they are being strangled by corporate greed. The measures proposed by MPs do nothing to address this. I can't see reducing tax or increasing supermarket prices making much difference at all.

[lagerstarfish]

What Jasper says is correct, but there are two other major factors which have made running pubs less profitable.

1. Jasper has taken up climbing and has a child and so spends far less time in the pub than he should

2. I have a stable home life and spend far less time in the pub than I used to

[Jaspersharpe]

True. That is actually what did for the Broadfield. 

[butters]

Bet John Terry wished that this had happened when he missed that penalty in the Champions League Final last year. 

bluebrad

[slackline]

What Jasper says is correct, but there are two other major factors which have made running pubs less profitable.

1. Jasper has taken up climbing and has a child and so spends far less time in the pub than he should

2. I have a stable home life and spend far less time in the pub than I used to

True. That is actually what did for the Broadfield. 

 

[slackline]

Probably make a more interesting film than Tom Hanks  

Whats wrong with a skin-full, usually has the same effect? 

[SA Chris]

Probably make a more interesting film than Tom Hanks  

We wish she could talk, we truly do

Because then she would be worth a fortune? I wish my dog could talk too, and I don't mean saying sausages.

 

[Jaspersharpe]

Whats wrong with a skin-full, usually has the same effect?  

Men who used the treatment five minutes before having intercourse extended their love-making from half a minute to almost four minutes, trials showed.

A whole four minutes. Hello girls.

[Jaspersharpe]

Probably make a more interesting film than Tom Hanks  

We wish she could talk, we truly do

Because then she would be worth a fortune? I wish my dog could talk too, and I don't mean saying sausages.

A talking dog you say!?

[slackline]

Whats wrong with a skin-full, usually has the same effect?  

Men who used the treatment five minutes before having intercourse extended their love-making from half a minute to almost four minutes, trials showed.

A whole four minutes. Hello girls.

They could have got nine if they hadn't waited five minutes, twats 

[Bubba]

Best friend bites off cock

[GCW]

I misread that as "Fiend"

'He began hitting me with a chain and then pulled down my trousers and started biting. It was agony,' he said.

Is it me, or does this sound like a shit excuse for getting oral sex of your fiend?

"Oh, I was hoovering whilst naked, slipped and unfortunately fell onto that huge dildo the wife left lying about".  Just tie some string to it next time.   

[GCW]

Wonder if he knows this guy 

[lagerstarfish]

...when he suddenly lost his temper. Grabbing a scalpel, he sliced off the penis in front of shocked nursing staff, and then placed it on the operating table where he chopped it into small pieces before storming out of the operating theatre at Bucharest hospital.

Vice-president of the Romanian Doctors Union, Vasile Astarastoae, said: 'Ciomu's case is a dangerous precedent for all Romanian doctors. In future doctors may have to think very carefully about what work they undertake.'

Yeah, right. In future doctors may have to think very carefully about deliberately fucking up people's lives by cutting up their genitals for no good reason.

[slackline]

Lap Dancing Nun