We ended up having a chat last night, which was really nice. It was just like our normal talks, but just with some cancer and inheritance chat thrown in. It was so normal that neither of us shed a tear, though I am sure they will come when we see each other in person.
It was nice to remember that he is just the same person that he was when we spoke a few days before the diagnosis. In my mind I’d already gone to the end of life stage, which is actually the main reason why he is reluctant to tell people until he has his biopsies and results back. He feels like himself still and doesn’t want people to project an image on to him or treat him any differently.
Whilst he hates the timing of it he is, and has always thought like this, glad it is something like this rather than a long drawn out battle with dementia or similar, which he has watched parents and siblings go through and struggle with.
He has also been using the weekend to sort out finances etc (which he is incredibly on top of anyway) so my step mum knows what everything costs, and he is putting money aside for her to supplement any pension income to help her. So they are talking about that, and including me, which is a big load off my mind.
Maybe a bit details overload but it’s really helped me chatting to him - I even enjoyed eating for the first time in a few days after feeling like I could throw up at any point. Thanks again for all the messages on here too.