[cofe]

like this:



only bought in july and not used much. £17 in Tesco but i'll let it go for £10 if anyone wants it.

even though it's tesco value it's still pretty good (it sucks more than stanton moor).

[Monolith]

You nabbed at bargain at 17! 25 squid in Tesco by me. I'd take it off your hands but don't reside in Sheff/Yorks area. Over in Liverpool anytime soon?

[cofe]

if scouse is heading over i'll stick it in his car. don't hold your breath though.

[Monolith]

Holding my breath is about as effective as the suction uptake on our current offering. I woke up at 5am yesterday barely able to breath from the dust and had to sleep on the couch. 25 quid doesn't actually sound that bad a price to prevent lung cancer now does it?

[SA Chris]

That really sucks.

[cofe]

Holding my breath is about as effective as the suction uptake on our current offering. I woke up at 5am yesterday barely able to breath from the dust and had to sleep on the couch. 25 quid doesn't actually sound that bad a price to prevent lung cancer now does it?

well it's lung cancer or 12 1/2 pints of carling. i know which scouse would choose. cough.

[GCW]

This is one of the strangest threads I've seen in a long time 

[Monolith]

A 25 quid good quality hoover deserves a whole website let alone a thread!

[slackline]

That really sucks.

Or not in this particular case 

[GCW]

A 25 quid good quality hoover deserves a whole website let alone a thread!

Ah, now be careful.  What we are discussing is a vacuum cleaner.  Hoover is a specific manufacturer, albeit one whose name has become almost synonymous with vacuum cleaning.  This magic machine of Cofe's is a Tescotastic Value Vacuum, certainly no Hoover^TM.
If you put a piece of cloth over your mouth and lay face down on the floor inhaling hard, you could do it yourself and save 25 smackers for some bevvies.
I bought a new vacuum not long ago.  Curry's had a good deal on one of the Dysons.

The wife loves it 

[Monolith]

It's like when people say Tannoy when they actually mean Public Address System.

[dave]

Or Velcro when they mean a hook-and-loop closure system.

[Monolith]

..Shreddies when they actually mean Multigrain wheat lattices.

[GCW]

Corn Flakes instead of "foul breakfast cereal from the supermarket that turns to slime every time it gets milk near it".  Urrgh

[cofe]

Egg, instead of baby chicken.

does anyone want ot buy my effing hoover etc? it can suck a golf ball through a hosepipe.

[GCW]

Has it got an automatic cable winder?

[slackline]

it can suck a golf ball through a hosepipe.

What diameter is the hosepipe?

[SA Chris]

That really sucks.

Or not in this particular case 

Clearly it blows big time.

Windsurfers and Rollerblades.

[cofe]

Has it got an automatic cable winder?

course it does. i'll drop it round your place later.

[GCW]

Cheers, wasn't sure if it was the VC206 which doesn't. 
I once got my hand wrapped up in one of those automated ones, mentally scarred me for life and I nearly lost my button off my shirt cuff.
Sorry- I can't take it off you Cofe.  Every time I heard the cable go zzzzzzzzip back inside I'd have a panic attack and immediately have to do star jumps for 5 minutes.

Good luck with the sale.

[dave]

has it got a dolby?

[SA Chris]

dobly you mean?

And does it go up to 11?

[GCW]

And does it go up to 11?

No.  They made 10 suck harder, and made 10 the top.... number, and made it suck a little harder.

I wonder if Cofe will ever sell his vacuum.........

[BenF]

Holding my breath is about as effective as the suction uptake on our current offering. I woke up at 5am yesterday barely able to breath from the dust and had to sleep on the couch.

Dust?  Where exactly did that dust come from?  It's chalk from the eight campus boards and woodies in your bedroom you numbskull. 

I bid £30.  Not because I want the hoover but because I don't want Monolith to get it.  I think Monolith deserves the Ebola or whatever he's got from having the climbing works under his bed.  No sympathy.  He'll get strong but die trying I reckon.

[Monolith]

Must I bear the brunt of your eternal unfounded angst Benjamin? Riddled with hatred, I think you're suffering from the modern condition.

I think a reading of Huis Clos by Sartre will do you the world of good in dealing with it. It'll also hopefully make you retract your ridiculous and frankly spiteful bid for a vacuum cleaner that is at most, 25 pound at the recommended retail price. The joke my friend, is on you.