[dave]

Heres one for the arty ones amongst you. Can anyone think of a bouldering haiku? Have a go.......

[dave]

sat at work again
thoughts far away on boulders
fontainebleau in spring

I know that sucks a dick, but you get the idea. I know everyone must be able to better this one.

[Bubba]

Wow! Dave comes over all tree-huggin'  :D

I'll have a think on....

[dobbin]

I like Rocks
Not big cocks
socks, flocks, knocks.

Yeah man.

[dave]

OK then:

sixteen in the clip
ready to put pimps on ice
my glock by my side

[Bubba]

Err....Dave, that's not about bouldering - that's about death and destruction - can you have a Haiku about that?

[dave]

I like Rocks
Not big cocks
socks, flocks, knocks.

Thats not even a haiku now is it? you can do better than that.....

[dobbin]

I'm a literary genius,
not a big pink penis,
bet you can't even beat 'dis....

Der Ner! Get in! no rocks, no syllables, doesn't even make sense. I've just realised a developing penis theme. Perhaps I should pay more attention to my therapist.

[dave]

Dobbin seems confused
haiku sylables go five,
then seven then five

who's your fuckin daddy!

[Bubba]

Hard innit? Maybe it's easier to do the syllable thang in Japanese...

Crisp winter morning!
Rock stands cold, hard, indifferent,
I shall test myself....

[dobbin]

The only line I can think of with five syllables is

'I'm having a wank'
Who do you want to spank?
with a wooden plank?

Shit. I'll get me coat.

[dave]

Dobbin you're nearly there son, stick with it.

Bubba thats rad, i can almost imagine Yoda saying that.


rock is unchanging
till someone works the chisel
what a fucking waste

[Bubba]

Dobbin, you've got an unhealthy obsession with your old chap, combined with a vague S&M fixation. Seek help now, before it's too late  :wink:

I feel the need for my physical body evaporating....Ommmmmm....Ommmmmm.... I will join the ether and become one with the wind and the air.....

...like a smelly guffwind.

[Paz]

Anybody seen "What have I done to deserve this?"

I would like to have
Beer and Pussy and Rock-n-Roll
Ev-ry god damn day

[nik at work]

sat in the office,
serving no useful purpose,
should be on the grit.

OR

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,
should be on the grit.


I fuckin hate my job when the weather's like this - Aaaaaargh
Fuckety, fuckety, fuckety. fuck.

[james]

I am stuck in school.
Got to be a f**king fool.
A perfect grit day.

I gracefuly take your applause.  Thank you.
Cheers

James

[dave]

Walking up to crag
some bloke shouts "nice suitcase mate"
damn comedian

[Bubba]

Like that one....

Fatdoc actually managed to convince some smart ass that his pad was a portable dialasis machine once, though not sure how convinced they were really...they probably thought "this is a mad bloke with a strange bit of foam"...

[dobbin]

I once told an elderly lady that it was a satellite recieving station for my laptop. She considered this for a minute and then said "Rubbish. Its a foam mat".

Ever since then I have told the truth.

[Bubba]

I don't mind if people ask in a genuine manner, but when they're just taking the piss, it's a bit annoying - it's probably as annoying as the classic "why don't you walk round, it's easier!!" gag. Ho ho ho, you're really funny aren't you?

Someone on CT had an amusing story about that - apparantly they were at Brimham and some smart ass kid said "why don't you just walk round...blah blah...", and then promptly fell down the steps and broke their leg. Oh, how I would have laffed.....

[mozzer]

about the best thing OTE have done for a while is their fake newspaper. Its actually quite funny.

Brilliant story about the kid though...

[Bubba]

Mark will be pleased as those newspaper articles were done by him - I think they're well funny.