[i_a_coops]

Getting to the start of the route is quite fun, we did the sea level traverse from lqp then scrambled up. The initial belay is well fiddly, took a while to excavate any useful cracks!

[Yossarian]

I didn’t really succeed at very much this year, so this is 100% Spankings...

Quietus - Was aiming to cruise this as I wanted to try the RH and then Old Friends. Nearly two hours later, with bloody knuckles, numb feet and a severely battered ego, I abbed down to rescue the gear. I retrospectively discovered Andy Kirkpatrick’s thoughts on the subject - https://andy-kirkpatrick.com/articles/view_stories/q_is_for_quietus - which I’m quite surprised none of the onlookers quoted to me, as I replicated it almost entirely. Apart from saying it’s a rubbish route. Anyway, it was a deeply traumatic and depressing experience, and I need to return for another go asap to make the nightmares stop.

Rubicon - The previous evening, climbing with Duncan for the first time. I thought this was going to involve a stylish cruise to the top, chatting about the orchestra pit at the Bayreuth Festspielhaus. It turned into a pathetic battle which grew more desperate as it got darker and darker. Duncan hurt his shoulder, I couldn’t figure out his Pongoose clipstick. The audience watched with growing impatience. I somehow got to the top eventually. Again, a terrible experience which needs addressing with a more professional attempt.

First Corner (S 4b) - Having enjoyed a day happily shunting some of the harder things at Subliminal a few weeks before, I was planning to spend this particiular evening cruising some low Es. (There is a trend developing here...) It was cloudy and quite windy. We abbed in and, on arrival at the bottom, discovered everything was sea-sprayed and greasy. Never mind, we can pop up the severe and scoot down to Hedbury for some sport routes. By the time I’d hauled my quivering, terrified frame over the top I had properly vowed to drive straight back home and eBay all my gear. Swanage shits me up a bit anyway, but with the polished stuff wet I found it absolutely fucking terrifying. It was like someone had arranged a series of various enamelled bathroom fixtures in a vertical line - a bath, then a sink, a bidet, another bath, then a urinal - and then sprayed them with water and anchovy-infused olive oil. As far as returning is concerned, I’m less sure about this one.

I also got spanked on various boulders I tried - Chip Shop Brawl, Patience, Killing Joke - but thankfully no-one else had to witness those displays of ineptitude.

[seankenny]

Rubicon - The previous evening, climbing with Duncan for the first time. I thought this was going to involve a stylish cruise to the top, chatting about the orchestra pit at the Bayreuth Festspielhaus. It turned into a pathetic battle which grew more desperate as it got darker and darker. Duncan hurt his shoulder, I couldn’t figure out his Pongoose clipstick. The audience watched with growing impatience. I somehow got to the top eventually. Again, a terrible experience which needs addressing with a more professional attempt.

I'm pretty certain that Rubicon is the route which tore the last of the stitches from my hernia operation, requiring not only another operation and a private one at that, but forcing me to postpone a masters degree from Sept 2018 to Sept 2019. So over three grand, getting cut open, a fortnight feeling shit afterwards, two months off climbing and a year's delay in my life plans. Consider yourself lucky! 

[Fiend]

FWIW I've been climbing E2 for 20 years and solidly/reliably for the last 10, and I've still put off doing Quietus

[dunnyg]

Bit of a poor year for climbing as the need to shit every 5 minutes somewhat limited my ability to be at crags pulling hard , bit disappointing given the weather we had over the summer, but did have a few highlights:

Trad
Easy day out at Rhoscolyn in a tshirt weather in November with the lady. 3 star routes in tshirt in november. Ace. Left my shoes but recovered them next day after freezing my tits off on idwall.

Day out with will at slipstones. Climbed like a tool but good to be out and did a few problems id wussed out of on previous trips.

Winter
Managed to get up both cliviger gorge and gordale whilst frozen. Never thought I would get up gordale. Magic! Met on old  acquaintance at the top of gordale which was nice too.

Sport
Fell off a 6a at swannage last week. Doesnt sound like an achievement but going for it above a bolt was ace. Falling off felt pretty liberating. Psyched to keep this up! And preferably fall off something harder.

Bouldering
No days of note, but a good trip to northumberland including dropping the last hold of jocks and geordies repeatedly, winding up Will in the process will stay with me.

Spankings
Tried bee line at ilkley and had to rapidly down aid from the crux as my guts were not doing their job. Went to a first birthday party and ate party rings from a washibg line to cheer myself up. Comical in hindsight but frustrating at the time.

 Hopefully this year my guts will let me elevate myself from punterdom and I will have to find another excuse.

[user deactivated]

How did you nearly die on the Minotaur dude?

Short story: Gear ripped, the rock around a thread broke, a wire unclipped from its quickdraw, gear pulled out. Fell a large distance down the crag upside down onto the last piece of any use, which thankfully held. You make your own luck and I made several mistakes that reduced my chances, felt (and feel) quite guilty about it. The long story is more pub-fodder than thread worthy.

Wow that’s mega. Can’t be as bad as the time I took an ex girlfriend climbing in the dolomites and got us both struck by lighting. I felt pretty bad about that but then the electricity seemed to cheer me up somehow

[Wood FT]

How did you nearly die on the Minotaur dude?

Short story: Gear ripped, the rock around a thread broke, a wire unclipped from its quickdraw, gear pulled out. Fell a large distance down the crag upside down onto the last piece of any use, which thankfully held. You make your own luck and I made several mistakes that reduced my chances, felt (and feel) quite guilty about it. The long story is more pub-fodder than thread worthy.

Wow that’s mega. Can’t be as bad as the time I took an ex girlfriend climbing in the dolomites and got us both struck by lighting. I felt pretty bad about that but then the electricity seemed to cheer me up somehow

Blimey

[petejh]

Am I the only one who's loving readings about the spankings the most?!

[Fiend]

When it's the classic case of mega-strong boulderers getting crushed by easy grit classics / cracks, then definitely yes, it's life-affirming.

[tomtom]

When it's the classic case of mega-strong boulderers getting crushed by easy grit classics / cracks, then definitely yes, it's life-affirming.

How about weak, lank dependant aging climbers getting crushed by easy grit classics / cracks? 😂

[Fiend]

Almost as good, although the ageing bit could imply enough wisdom to put it all in perspective, rather than bewildered outrage as to how The File can feel so hard for Font 2+ climbing....

[jamesturnbull97]

Big year for my this one. Climbed both my hardest boulders and routes, Graduated from Uni in June and went on a big 4 month euro trip and then my first climbing trip to America in November.

Top 3 boulder problems, UK

I properly committed to training over the winter so hit an amazing run of form in the spring and ticked a number of problems off the list, here’s a few of them.

Zoo York 8A – Caley: A problem that I never thought I would do but after a winter on my loft board did it first session of the season.

Queen Kong 7C+/8A - Queens Crag: After being really close at the start of 2017 ever managed to get back up to the county. Was nice to go back up this spring and dispatch it with minimal fuss.

Cashmere Cat 7c+ - Sour Milk Ghyll: Simply the best in the lakes. Two of my favourite things, slab and highball

Honourable mentions: 

Grand Opera Sit 8A – Bowderstone: After flashing the stand the sit seemed like an obvious challenge. After literally 100 goes at the first move and falling off matching twice it was quite a battle.

Ben's Groove Sit 7C+ - Caley: Pure class, just beat the beast from the east.

Chiasmata 8A – Almscliff: Best at the cliff

Starshot Sit 7C – Harter Fell: Last problem of a mega big day out in the hills.

 
Top boulder problems, abroad

2 snowy weeks in Font in Feb and 5 weeks in Swiss/Austria in June at the start of a big road trip again leaves plenty to choose from. 

Astronautenfieber 8A – Magic Wood: The one line that made me want to go back to Magic. Although I was slightly disappointed by the state of Magic Wood this year this boulder is truly outstanding.

Imothep 8A – Font:  Might throw it out there and say it’s the best problem I've ever done! Perfect font slopers and compression, surreal topping out in the dark after 4 days desperately trying to keep boulderers clear of snow.

Pirouette Cacaouette 7C – Font: Classic font esoterica, would have been nice to flash it but that might have been annoying after spending so long trying to find it.

Suworow 7B+ - Gotthard Pass: I remember seeing this boulder when in Gotthard 5 years ago so was nice the stop off on the way back from Swiss and climb in a lovely alpine setting.

Baby Lama 7C – Silvretta: Essentially a board problem with an amazing view, 3 big moves up a 45 degree wall. Was pleased to sneak in with a flash.

Jacks Broken Heart 8A+ - Magic Wood: Up there with my hardest ascents to date.
 

Top trad routes UK

Very little trad climbing this year, had a couple of days at Malham with my Dad which were ace. Best routes being:

Midnight Cowboy E3 5c, Swift Attack E3 5c, Sundance Wall E2 5c, Wombat E2 5c, Carnage E2 5b

 

Top sport routes UK

Only did 2 sport routes at home this year but boy were they good’uns

Supercool 8a+ - Gordale: Old school technical endurance climbing, found it tough straight off a spring of just boulders. If my car hadn’t broken down just before I was supposed to head to Swiss I might not have gone and finished it off. 

Raining Bats and Dogs 8c – Malham: Yes it is technically a link up but it’s a bloody good one. Really enjoyed the process on this one battling away with Mina until I started getting close with time running out. Couldn’t have cut it much closer doing it the day before heading to America. 

 

Top three routes abroad (any genre)

Natilik 6b, E2ish – Ceuse: Way round the corner away from the hordes of sport climbers was one the most enjoyable multi pitch routes I’ve done. A fantastic last day in Ceuse taking Gwyneth up here first trad route and the stresses of the rest of the climbing, the 4th pitch across the roof will take some beating. 

Weekend Warriors 8b+ - La Hermida: A 50m marathon of tufas out of the hugs Cueva Carcalosa utilising I think 26 kneebars and the redpoint crux at the last bolt. Had a great laugh at the crag with Andy on his project a couple of route right, thankfully we both sent on consecutive days just in time for an epic 2 weeks surfing in Galicia. 

Encore 8a+ - Ceuse: A great tick for my confidence after struggling elsewhere, always a pleasure to climb the full height of the crag and top out. 

No Redemption 8a – Red River Gorge: One of my favourites from the Red probably because it’s more like a UK route so is nice change from steep climbing. A vert route revolving around a boulder on small crimps. 

AK-47 7c+ - La Hermida: A meandering maze of tufas big and small up the main wall at Rumenes. A rare day where I actually climbed well onsight. 

Darkness Falls 7c – Red River Gorge: A great varied pitch through a series of roofs and a completely random find at a crag I’d never heard off for Neil and Tanya’s last day and didn’t expect to flash it after watching Neil have a hard time. 

 

Top three new problems put up

Very little in the way of new problems this year. Finished off developing Crag A and picked off a couple in the spring but was mainly psyched on repeating stuff instead. 

Coreshot 7c – Crag A: The roof on the far left buttress, had originally eyed it up as an arête but instead climbed with a wacky sequence straight through the roof flipping some undercuts and heading to the lip feet first which made it even more rewarding to figure out. 

Emotional Rescue 7b+ - Crag A: A pumpy extension the the original arete I’d done and the last of the major lines I was bothered about doing there. 

Straight 25 7a – Plantation Crack: This one was just fun. Good tip off from my Dad

 

Top Spankings

Lanny Bassham 8A+ - Rylstone: Put I think 12 sessions in to this over February and March. Fell repeatedly from the last few moves for probably 5 sessions and couldn’t beat the warming spring temps.

Unjustified 8b+ - Malham: This was top of my list after getting close in Autumn 2017, put considerable effort in during April and May and again got really close but never managed to seal the deal.

Murciana 78 7c+ - Naranjo de Bulnes: Maybe not a spanking but definitely a bit of an epic. The bottom 6 pitches were amazing on bullet hard limestone with 7c+ sport climbing and massively runout 6a’s. The top half was a lot more adventurous up big chossy corner systems taking a lot longer that hope. To top it off I pulled a huge block off on pitch 11 and completely destroyed one of the ropes and it doesn’t bear thinking about what would have happened if it had gone near Andy on the belay. Lots of rappels later with one rope half the length it could have been turned into a bit of an epic and doing the last few in the dark we were exhausted and then had to bivi a second night that we hadn’t planned as we didn’t fancy the 3 hour walk out at 10:30pm. Definetly keen to go back to completely free it. Guy  .

Transworld Depravity 8b+ - Red River Gorge: Got close early on in the trip, then the cold and snow came and couldn’t try it properly and in the last week conditions went to shit. So felt a bit robbed not being able to give to my best effort due to the weather.

[kingholmesy]

Thanks Andy P & Coops - I’ll aim to get on it in the summer if I get a bit of fitness going.

And yes - always good to hear the comical spankings.  No schadenfreude on my part - just good to hear the sort of epics I reckon most of us can identify with.

[TobyD]

Am I the only one who's loving readings about the spankings the most?!

No. I now feel guilty that I didn't embellish my failures more. My most galling was training for a route in Spain only to show up and discover someone had torn the best hold off the crux.

[andy popp]

Amazed to see Murciana 78 mentioned again. Is it properly bolted now? We did it  on shitty old golos from the aid ascent..

[jwi]

Amazed to see Murciana 78 mentioned again. Is it properly bolted now? We did it  on shitty old golos from the aid ascent..

The Golos are replaced with shiny 12 mm bolts, giving it a bizarre feel (mostly trad/no gear with a shit ton of bolts on the crux – where most people just go A0).

[jamesturnbull97]

Amazed to see Murciana 78 mentioned again. Is it properly bolted now? We did it  on shitty old golos from the aid ascent..

The Golos are replaced with shiny 12 mm bolts, giving it a bizarre feel (mostly trad/no gear with a shit ton of bolts on the crux – where most people just go A0).

The first 2 pitches were trad, the 7c+ and 7a+ (3&4) were bolt ladders for aiding. All the rest were a mix of old pegs and tat and limited gear. All the bolts are nice shiny bolts too which is useful for if you have to bail.

[Footwork]

Great hearing about everyone's year - always a good read!

No worthy trad or sport this year because I discovered summer bouldering.

Best Yorkshire Bouldering

- The Fly 7B Crookrise. I used to think only wads could climb this. Proper grit slab climbing.
- Sweet Dream Sit 7C+ Ilkley. Nice to finish the full line and frustrating most the way.
- Pinky 7A+ Brimham. Hardest problem on the bloc, until you do it...
- Clubber Lang 7B? Ilkley. I can't dyno so this felt like an achievement.
- Lager Lager Lager 7C Earl. Almost did it first session. Was so pysched I went back the next day but soon realised I didn't have the skin for it. So very on and off.
- Razor 7C Crookrise. Great Line, high and dynamic. 

Best non Yorkshire bouldering

- Grand Opera 7C Bowderstone. Dropped the top so many times. Loved working this ground up and a fitting finale to discovering the Bowderstone, completing the entry level straight ups.
- Corridors of Power 7C+ Cwm Glas Bach. Best problem of the year. Go do it.
- Left Wall Traverse 7B Parisella. The classic shuffle and took me a while to link it.
- Wherever I Lay My Hat 7B+ Gallt Yr Ogof. Day after Ewan and Halla's wedding. Very cool moves and a stoning knee bar. Tichols joined wearing flipflops and spent the afternoon trying not to throw up. 
- Alta 7C Fontainebleau. Revenge tick on an insanely hot font trip. It was not pretty climbing.
- Crouching Tiger 7B+ Kyloe in. Beat Will to it at his own game.

Spankings

- Ben's Sit 7C+ Caley. I was so close but ran out of time, beaten by weather and spring. It's not even that hard...
- Jess' Roof 7C Almscliff. I can't do this. Sporadic sessions spread over 5 years.
- Launch Control 7C Kilnsey. 3 sessions and barely close.
- Sideliner 8A Crookrise. Everyone finds the step through toe hook moves piss and I can't touch them even in isolation. The rest is fine! One of those where it just doesn't compute (see Jess' Roof).
- Bernie The Bolt and Three More Reps 7B+ Ilkley. We had a skirmish on these and get shut down before the big flake. Very cool climbing and exciting as you keep getting higher but stumped  by what you do next.
- Most of my grit projects. I just couldn't get any over the line. Maybe spread myself too thinly.

[jwi]

Best 3 Multipitch

✕ L'artisan du huitième jour 7b+/c, Aiglun. Not in free. My climbing partner had decided to ski for 8 weeks straight before coming down to Cote d'Azur, so Troutherapie was out of question. L'artisan proved adventure enough. We started in fog, with a forcast calling for thunderstorms in the afternoon. It took us forever to find the start (we didn't have a topo, because that's for noobs). It took us forever to climb, because it overhangs 50m in 250m, it was partly wet, and well ... skiing is not good training for climbing. Topped out in a thunderstorm – I never been so miserably wet outside of a sail boat. Amazing though. Have recruited very strong partner for Troutherapie.

✕ Il Giochi di Prestigio, 7b, Verdon. Fantastic route on the mighty Frimes. Also wet on the crux, so not totally free.

✓ ✓ Rivière d'argent, 6b+, Verdon. I've never done this before, but did it once with each of my partners for the trip (a couple with an infant.) It is that good



Best 3 sport routes locally

✓ Voleur du Feu 7b, Roc d'Anglars. I don't fall that often on 7b, especially when I really try. Fell quite resolutely on this, and it felt hard even on the redpoint. Well worth doing though. Might be the best route on the crag.

✓ Phénomène de rejet, 8a, Roc d'Anglars. Quite sure that this is one of the better 8a around Saint-Antonin. Well steep with a very cool finish, requiring quite a bit of strength endurance to not be rejected.

✓ Bad Attitude (L1), 8a+, Super Manjoc. The classic easy 8a+ around Toulouse, but well worth doing.


Best 3 sport routes abroad

✓ Frigg 8a, Flatanger. More or less the only route I topped during my week in Flatanger. My second onsight of a guide-book 8a, and while I don't suffer no delusion that this is actually 8a, it was quite a bit harder than the 7c+s I did in Leonidio. Nevertheless, I had to fight hard on the top, after the crux, and was red-lining a few moves in a row. The first pitch (7b+) went well and was my 99th onsight of a 7b+ or harder, so I was already quite happy with that. Thanks HaeMeS for the draws!
 
✓ Man of Steel 8a+/b, Margalef. Good fun. Twenty-three moves to a very good rest. Then Twenty-three moves of resistance climbing to easier terrain on top. Fun fact: Victor bolted this sector (Taverna) during a difficult separation, and was in a very bad mood, thus the bolting is quite Gorges-du-Tarn-esque.

✓ Pais de monos 8a+, Margalef. As someone said: "you name it, we climb it!" Lots of monos, unsurprisingly. A very cool crux with a first move that seems unlikely until you actually try it. I was hanging on the draw forever thinking that I would never do it. Just three hard moves, the rest is significantly easier but quite nice. I was terrified on the top though. Very proud of doing this in three days as I had an infection and was eating penicillin at the time, and had only energy for one try a day.



Best 2 spankings

✕ Xarop de Basto 7c+, Bruixes/Terradets. I thought I "almost" onsighted this in 2011 (not really as I fell on the crux move on the first part, and the 2nd part after the rest is not super easy). Did try it again when I was in reasonable shape a few years ago.

This year I was in great shape when I tried it. First I tried an Alzheimer's flash and fell on the last move before the rest (of course, as that is the crux move). The next try I promptly fell at the 4th bolt, then two more times on the crux move. After a day of rest I resolutely dogged it, finding the very best sequences. After that I finally managed to do the crux. Rested forever on the big jugs, and was quite confident I would do the rest even though it was very wet on the top. Alas! that was not to be. Fell off the top sloper.

Two days later I did two other 8as in a single day lower down of the crag, Bon Viatge and Millennium, especially the latter (that was also wet on the crux slab) must be at least half a grade easier for me than Xarop.  Oh well, next year maybe?

My Catalan leaves much to be desired of. Does Xarop de Basto translate to Syrup of 'That's Enough!' (I've heard Catalan parents tell their children 'Basta!' in a context where I'd say 'That's enough!')

✕ No War, More Love 8b?, Super Manjoc. (8b+ according to both Dufraisse and Belhaj). Fell 8 times between the 2nd to last and last draw (where it should be totally over). A friend of mine fell 30 times on the very last move before doing it. Got very close just as the season closed and I got epididymitis

[Doylo]

I almost couldn’t be bothered this year but then I’ve posted every year since 2006 so got to keep going. Didn’t do loads due to first year of fatherhood and failing a lot on one problem but I made loads of physical gains from so much training. The most consistently strong I’ve been. Didn’t really do any routes, just two I’d done before on Mayfair wall.

top 5 boulders
Zeno, Cloggy 7C. Good team day out, took longer that it should and a bit sharp but a great bit of wall with a mega jump to a bucket at the end. Didn’t even find the walk too bad.
In For the Race 7C. Gangles new Orme classic roof climb. Cool when a quality new problem just pops up on your doorstep.
Heavyweight 8A. Not a classic but a good performance on way home from work 5th day on and definitely fairly tricky. Got a minging crimp on it but is fine with tape.
The Arbiter 7C+. Another new classic, this one from Ducko. Bit of an epic day out. Felt sick halfway up the hill and fainted and face planted. Hadn’t been out for weeks and it was sunny so there was no way I was going down. Felt pretty wonky but carried on up. At the top it was horrendously windy but we persevered. Luckily every move fitted me well I could sketch up it. Then flashed Huffys Wall, a good 7b. One of the best 7c+ in hills But the approach is horrific. Few days later everything went pair shaped and ended up in A n E. Spent next few weeks laid up with concussion and deaf in one ear. Pretty nasty experience.
Flick of The Wrist 7C+ - nemesis that had taunted me for years as couldn’t really hold the wide pinch. More annoying as everyone else in the world seemed to find it fine. Definitely one of the best.

Top spankings
Most things on the Caseg boulder. Stoned Temple in the Pass, fingers just slip off the holds. Push the Button Low at the Gop.

[Wil]

A good but strange year climbing wise. A trip to Taghia in March was almost curtailed due to family problems which affected my head for much of the rest of the year. I had no appetite for being scared at all this year, but despite that I got a lot of great routes in.

Top three trad routes/solos UK

Suspense, E4 5c, Stennis Ford
I finally did Mysteries a few weeks before this. Suspense was much more engaging, it was one of a few routes I felt really absorbed in, got a bit pumped on P1 but held it together and P2 was great fun.

Spectrum, E2 5c, Clogwyn Y Grochan
A great day on the Grochan, ticking SS Special, First Amendment and Hangover. This was the pick of them for me, the second pitch has a great crux.

Stanage VS Challenge
Completed before Cheque's premiere of "The Seaside". It was harder than we expected and we were almost late.

Top three sport routes UK

Egyptian Bizarre, 7a+, The Cornice
Only because it was newly bolted and the only thing I hadn't already done that was in reach. I was please to flash the top part, doesn't happen often down Cheedale for me!

Whose Line is It Anyway, 7a+, The Cornice
I love this route. I did it a few years back. Almost got it first go of the day this time, then did it on the next attempt, but climbed really badly and fell off as I clipped the chains.

Hanging By a Thread, 6c, Witches Point
Best of the grade I've done in South Wales. Didn't make it back to Witches, but hope to this summer.

Top three two routes abroad

Only one trip abroad, but it was to Taghia which is an incredible place. We were scuppered by the weather being very cold and windy the first week, the second week was better.

Au Nom de la Reforme, 6c
12 pitches of steady fun wearing all of our clothes.

Baraka, 6c (7b free)
We both pulled on bolts on the crux pitch, but the rest of the climbing was great. We climbed the full route to the summit and it make a fantastic finish to the trip.

Top Spankings
Too many to choose from this year.

L'Axe du Mal, 7c+, Taghia
Despite being spanked this was the highlight of the trip for me. We knew we'd need to pull on some bolts, but after 10 big pitches of sustained climbing our fingertips were shredded and we realised we were going to need to pull on a lot of bolts and descend in the early hours so we bailed. The pitches we did were the best 7a climbing I've done, every pitch a classic. If this had been a day in Spain it would have ranked as one of the best days ever, so not a bad spanking really. Notes for next time: Bivvy at the base of the route and try it earlier in the trip.

Preposterous Tales, Bosherston Head
We tried this twice due to dodgy weather. On the first we were running out of daylight and I got freaked out getting into the cave proper. On the second I led the pitch deeper into the cave and it was completely drenched. I made some good progress before reaching a point where I was simply too scared to continue and soaking wet. Wet, slippy rock totally freaks me out to an unreasonable degree. Might go back in the dry though.

Tangerine Dream, E4 6a, St Govan's
I'm sure many have been spanked by this. What should be straightforward but pumpy turned me to jelly about halfway up. Couldn't keep my head together when I was pumped.

Pacemaker, E5 6a, Lower Sharpnose
Had a great weekend in North Cornwall, then returned a few weeks later to try this feeling really psyched. When it came to it I was weirdly nervous, got uncontrollably pumped and just lost the will to fight. One for the spring.

[Duncan campbell]

YES! The best thread on UKB for me. Inspiring to read about everyone’s year! So far you at no.1 spot, Cheque! Also impressive how much hard bouldering you lot do!

I had for sure one of if not the best year of rock climbing to date. Therefore I’m going to have to create a few of my own categories... we will start with my 3 month trip to Australia... apologies in advance...

Tasmania Top 3

1. The Totem Pole - 25/7b - wow! Just amazing. Climbed on my third day in the country, third day on, so I wasn’t on top form and consequently fell off the top pitch a couple of times. But what an adventure. We made the call in the morning that maybe it would be our best chance to do it, reasoning that doing it any style was better than waiting and not getting it done. I was in charge of sorting everything being the stronger, more competent climber, but Kate was great throughout. Got soaked swinging across to the base and a savage flash-pump on p.1, which I o/s-ed by the skin of my teeth! Such wild climbing that would be amazing in a shitty urban quarry. After I just had to stop and take a long look at it as I may well never see it again. Tyrolese is quality too.

Met a hero of mine Paul Pritchard before and after, finding out that our ascent was a week before the 20th anniversary of his accident. What a gent, let us crash at his house which was so generous.

2) Talk is Cheap - 24/7a - Wild abseil in which are fully committing as you pull the ropes multiple times to get to the bottom. Once again, I led these and most of the hard climbing but to fairly steady for the grade. With Pabbay/Mingulay-sequel rock (except not quite as good)

3) After Midnight -24/7a+ - great climbing up a massive 50m arete! Was cold and so nearly sacked it before this but so glad I didn’t as it’s just so good.

Arapiles Top 3

1) Trojan - 25/E5 6b - Gus went for the o/s and blew it low down but somehow I ended up getting past his high point and pushing through to the top on my flash/onsight go. If you had told me I’d do thatone day the last time I was at Arapiles I’d have said you were mad. Proper classic. Expected it to be a redpoint/ground up siege affair.

2) Despatched - 24/E5 6a - totally wild. Found it tough all the way and then was back and forth for ages trying to find a way through the final traverse. Brilliantly exposed with some big lob potential at one or two points. It started raining after this so we rigged “the big swing” from the belay for a bit of a giggle.

3) Birdman of Alcatraz - 23/E4 6a - wanted to do this ever since I first visited Araps as a fledgling climber. Did at the end of a big day and found the crux tricky! Slick feet keeps you on your toes to the end!

Grampians Top 3

1) Serpentine -29/8a - Probably the best of the year, in my all time top 10 easily. Going up first and putting the gear in felt totally wild. I really struggled with the initial roof and didn’t make any good links which was worrying. On our third day Gus did it in two, then despatched it the day after. Suddenly it all just clicked and I hit the “flow state”. Felt like I had enough in the tank to do the roof again and then just floated up it, from half height I thought it was in the bag but tried not to get over excited. What a route! Certainly one of the most amazing bits of climbing I’ve ever done. Meeting HB (the first ascentionist) was mega too, he was so psyched we were enjoying his routes!

2) Genesis Direct -24(25)/E5 6b - wanted to do this all trip and with a dying car (the 1hr journey from the Victoria Range to the crag took us 6hrs!) we made it one of the last weeks. I was feeling mentally tired by this point but got psyched for this. The groove on the normal route was very tricky and I had heard was harder than anything on the direct. Not so if you are a shortie it seems! I also only took one carrot plate and so the hard 6b crux for me was protected by a carrot with a wire looped over it. Was on this for ever, unable to reach the next normal but still small crimp. In the end closed my eyes, felt around and pulled on some concept holds, stood on a tiny foothold. Thought it would be over but after slightly easier but still sustained slab, there was an awkward overhang to pull through which just blew my mind. I mantelled onto the small ledge above it going totally crazy having given so much. One of my proudest onsights to date.

3) Monkey Puzzle -28/7c+ - not something I really thought much about before going out but felt great to get this done as it’s not my style being very steep and powerful. But is just such a cool climb it elevates itself into this list above Archimedes.

This is just a snapshot of what I did in Oz. I climbed so many good routes out there that it is a place that will stay with me for a long time. If anyone needs any info on the climbing out ther feel free to send me a message.

Top 3 UK trad

This is going to be hard!

1) End Game - E5 6a - Fair Head. Wanted to go to The Burren on my Ireland trip as I’d already been to “the Head” but as others in the team felt the other way and some had never been we headed North first. Dodgy weather meant the Raithlin Wall was the only option and the slightly grey weather made me feel less inclined to go for any of the E6s. With this being a 3 star E5 I’d never heard of anyone doing I thought it might be good and a good adventure. It shares the same belay as an E2 so we did p1 of that and then I abbed it to check it was clean and that there was gear. I found some gear and there looked to be holds though having never abbed anything before I did a shit job. It basically felt very onsight at times and I lost my shit a little when I finally made it to a cluster of small, shallow RPs that were the last bits for a way. Somehow pulled myself together and got through it. Brilliant climbing up an Arete (!) and grooves. The book description is vague but I’ve put a good one on UKC. One of a few E5s I did this year that felt more like E6 than the E6s I did...

2)Cockblock - E5 6b - A spicy little number! Have wanted to try this for a while but found myself at the crag on a cripplingly hot day. I was so psyched I tried anyway, nearly doing it on my 4th Ground-up go, taking the ride from the last hard move. I was psyched and returned a couple of weeks later, doing it second go of the day.

3) The Cumbrian -E5 6b - Just a great day all round on this. 4 of us headed up on an absolutely stunning day. Anna and I waited at the bottom of the crag for it to come into the shade and then pootled up the initial easy pitches. Having a score to settle, Anna went first, cruising to glory. My turn, Anna abbed and stripped the pitch and suddenly I felt the pressure to perform having climbed a couple of easy pitches and then sat around for a while. Luckily I didn’t find it too bad though it certainly warrants E5. I bought Anna up and we walked down to the bags which with the bone dry, lush lakes grass under my bare feet was just lovely.

 Esk is such a magical place with no evidence of human activity (buildings/roads/walls) as far as the eye can see even from the top. Get yersens up there!

Honourable mentions

The Skull - cyrn las - led every hard pitch. So good! Linked first two which made it feel chunky! Top one is unreal!

Trilogy - great to do such a classic Lakes route.

Reproduction - first E6 although it’s soft admittedly

Grey Dawn - tough burren testpiece - knocking on for E6 according to more experienced mates...

Top 3 UK sport

Slim year of U.K. sport for me this year partially as the weather was so good for trad climbing but also because I didn’t feel strong/fit enough to do what I wanted

1) Star Spangled Banner -7b+ - great weekend down in cheddar with a good mate when I was in a bit of a bad place mentally. Very happy to flash the bottom with some good beta and o/s the top.

2) SkyScrape - 7b+ - more cheddar goodness.

3) Quiet Flight Direct - 7a+ - really nice Crimpd wall climb at Kilnsey, a crag which usually rebuffs me with its horrible undercut starts!

Top 3 UK Boulder

A slightly less shit year of bouldering for me this year, but not amazing nonetheless. Though bad connies are as much to blame as anything I think.

1) Scrapheap Challenge - 7A - great problem for those dank, shitty days and in a novel location!

2) Well Brown - 7A - fun problem and a rare burnoff of mr N. Lee. Keen for more sessions on Darkthrone...

3) Some routes are smaller than others - 6C - great mileage day in the Pass. Was knackered by the time we did this and had a bit of a scary moment powering out on the top of this!

Top 3 boulders abroad

1) Attention Chef d’ouevre - 7A - just brilliant. Perfect height, really cool climbing.

2) Egoiste - 7A - Not my style but felt good to get this done quickly and then proceed to give the others helpful and unhelpful advice.

3) Science Friction - 6A- punted the flash as I put my foot on a red herring foothold I thought I had seen some other songs use. Cruised it second go with some sneaky use of thumbs.

Top spankings

1) Grand Canyon - tried the day after my first cockblock session. It was wet, I was knackered, and I proceeded to do very badly on it

2) Fine Time - might be in the good book, but it’s a load of shite. Ben had a go, I had a go and then Ben did it. I’ve ticked it off in extreme rock because I’ll never be back for it.

3) Autumn/winter weather nowt new

[user deactivated]

Woah, Duncan. I’m actually pretty jealous of that oz trip. What an amazing year and bunch of climbs. Good effort. The top pitch of totem pole is tough huh!

[Will Hunt]

But Doylo, what were your top videos made? Personally, I like the one where you laugh at the Little Cunt for being slow and then collapse in a heap, and I like the one you made of Ondra on the Oak and Shark on some hard thing.

[Doylo]

But Doylo, what were your top videos made? Personally, I like the one where you laugh at the Little Cunt for being slow and then collapse in a heap, and I like the one you made of Ondra on the Oak and Shark on some hard thing.

I quite like the Cloggy/Redhead mash up too.