[Bubba]

[AndyR]

1. it must be an eliminate of some sort and it should not follow a natural line of weakness or even look vaguely attractive
2. the rules must be very silly and confusing
3. the rock should be suspect/snappy/sandy/dirty in some way
4. the holds should be painful and awkward
5. the landing should be bad, sloping or very muddy/boggy
6. the grade should vary wildly, depending on a slightly different interpretation of the rules
7. it should have some chipped or glued holds and plenty of eyesore brush marks
8. it should smell of piss
9. it should feature an awkward semi-crouching start on bizarre specified holds
10. it should feature a violent slappy move to a razor sharp hold, guaranteed to slice yer hand open

Now I've never been, but from what I've seen from photos, doesn't this describe every problem at the Dumbarton Boulders??

[Bubba]

Surprisingly, the actual climbing at Dumby is quite nice.

It's just the place is a hideous shitehole.  Really, the boulders should all be relocated somewhere that's not full of mental neds, syringes, glass, etc.

[Stu Littlefair]

Ooooh. Feel the quality

[tc]

Now I've never been, but from what I've seen from photos, doesn't this describe every problem at the Dumbarton Boulders??

Yes. It also perfectly describes the Wirral's answer to Dumby - the Breck!
However, the Bluebell Traverse is still a candidate for Best Traverse Award IMHO.

[Johnny Brown]

Stuart Little wrote:

the UK's WORST problem is the slopey traverse at bonehill:

Granted this may be shit. But at least its in a nice place. There are some good problems are Bonehill n its a good place to chill.
If we're really going for the holy grail of shitness we need a bit more.
So:
1. You've heard of it , maybe even seen a vid.
2. You've travelled a fair way.
3. There's fuck all else there (climbing wise)
4. There's shit loads else - council estate, burnt out cars, kids nicking your chalk bag.
5. Sharp crimps for hands
6. Big footholds too polished to actually stand on.

I think ambience is a big part of it. If you're stupid enough to waste good conditions at the plantation getting a wet arse on jerry's traverse, good luck. At least you're not polishing up deliverance :wink:

[Greg C]

Hey Johnny
You really do have a problem with crimps don't you?
Were you locked in Pexhill for years as a small child?  

I LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV Crimps!!! They rule

[cofe]

Were you locked in Pexhill for years as a small child?  

no, that was scouse D ......the perv :wink:

[Johnny Brown]

Hey Johnny
You really do have a problem with crimps don't you?

They really make my fingers hurt :cry:

Now that just can't be right; slopers never hurt anyone, right :wink:

[Bonjoy]

Hey Johnny
You really do have a problem with crimps don't you?

Now that just can't be right; slopers never hurt anyone, right :wink:

 You should try hanging them with mutant, Dupytron's Contracture hands. Ive had to resort to putting super-glue and tissue paper re-inforcement on to prevent bleeding jesus hands :nopity:

[Pantontino]

I'm with JB on this one: slopers rule, simple as that.

I only crimp if I have to, not ever because I want to.

I hate crimps, they're unnatural, just like the skinny freaks with no body tension that you see hanging on them :twisted:  - let them all rot in hell!

(Glad I got that off my chest - feel a lot better now.)

[dave]

Now that just can't be right; slopers never hurt anyone, right :wink:

I'll take that as a wager.

[Doylo]

Theres nothing worse in life than sliding off a big minging sloper! You know where you stand with a nice bony crimp.

[Jim]

Them crimpers in that cave at cratcliff middle are pretty sharp, good problem tho. I vote for slopers - they rule, until you run out of skin (except the slopers at hampers) although grit slopers in summer are just horrid

[Johnny Brown]

Good to see 5 pages of problem slagging compared to only 3 of biggin em up.

In the best british traditions... :wink:

...wonder what an american psychologist would make of it:lol:

[ian h]

Stuart Little wrote:

the UK's WORST problem is the slopey traverse at bonehill:

Granted this may be shit. But at least its in a nice place. There are some good problems are Bonehill n its a good place to chill.
If we're really going for the holy grail of shitness we need a bit more.
So:
1. You've heard of it , maybe even seen a vid.
2. You've travelled a fair way.
3. There's fuck all else there (climbing wise)
4. There's shit loads else - council estate, burnt out cars, kids nicking your chalk bag.
5. Sharp crimps for hands
6. Big footholds too polished to actually stand on.

I think ambience is a big part of it. If you're stupid enough to waste good conditions at the plantation getting a wet arse on jerry's traverse, good luck. At least you're not polishing up deliverance :wink:

sloper traverse established cack but on the other hand the the ripple wall at bone hill is one of the most enjoyable problems at its grade i have done, fuck knows what gaskins was on when he done the sitter though. :roll:

[c.j.d.]

Any of the problems where the New Statement is - it's that shite I won't even name the place.  :shock:  Ilkley.

[c.j.d.]

Sorry, that should be Statesman, which looks not bad.

[lifer]

no way is roaches arete crap - pure kinaesthetics up that admitably slippery feature

[cowboyhat]

i think its only because he-man started the topic. anyway, having not read any other entries, bullworker = shit. bens roof= shit anything MO has done=shit

[mark]

anything MO has done=shit

Wash your mouth out with something nasty! Bin Laden's Cave is a Peak classic.