[Mike Tyson]

I think this Paul fella is a touch irritable.

[butters]

being really cynical I would say you are a total cock who seems to think you are better than anyone else.

You missed out the fact that he is a fat sandbagging bastard! Admittedly it could be argued that this is adequately covered by the "total cock" part but I always think it is best to make sure. 

[lagerstarfish]

Nothing wrong with Jim Davidson; I can proove it

“He knows how to treat a woman”
~ Osama bin Laden on Jim Davidson

“I took the wife out last night; one punch!”
~ Jim Davidson on the wife

“Sorry I burned your favourite shirt again Jim! Please don't hit me with the iron again Jim! I love you!”
~ Jim's wife

“Jim was really quite an understanding husband. One time when I accidentally burned his shirt, he paid for me to go to a private hospital for six months!”
~ Jim's wife

“I used to my laugh until my sides hurt, when Jim mimicked me in his act. The subtle portrayal of me as naive and dimwitted yet, in some vague way, threatening brought to mind some of the more emotive performances of a young Olivier. I was both surprised and deeply shocked when someone suggested that I should find it offensive, as I've always thought of him as a great spokesman for interracial harmony.”
~ Chalkie White, a black fella and my, I mean Jim's, best mate

[PaulyDB]

another one who THINKS they are better than anyone else.

[Sloper]

Judging by your comment it seems as if you don't take a very good view of THINKING, well I have to say I'm not suprised.

Anyway I was climbing with some one today who'd met you and said that even for an ex squaddie you were a complete cock.

PS wanna buy a copy of Mein Kemph, it's the delux version wtih wipe clean pages.  I only bought it because I thought it was about Phil Mitchell

[robertostallioni]

[Sloper]

What no latex pony gimp suits, you're not going straight are you, say it aint so, say it aint so.

[robertostallioni]

No, like you, just stirring.

Need a spoon? Will forgo P & P...

[lagerstarfish]

another one who THINKS they are better than anyone else.

I think I am better than everyone else.

I have noticed little difference between what I think and what is fact.

[chummer]

there is nothing wrong with jim davidson.

 

[lagerstarfish]

Charlie Drake is funny as fook with JD here

[PaulyDB]

to sloper: listen you sad fat pathetic old man, I am not an ex squaddie so I guess it is you and your so called friend who thinks he knows me who are the cocks here.

[nik at work]

You should work in sales, you're a natural.

[lagerstarfish]

I am not an ex squaddie

Sloper should have been able to work this out if he'd had access to this data

It is well known that war loving Jim entertains the troops for free whenever we're fighting the foreigners, only making money out of the sales of his video. However, indirectly his appearances cost the army a fortune to stage since as a result, they have to spend much more on advertising in an attempt to try and attract more ethnic people to join, because having to watch Jim's routine was the main reason 90% of non-caucasian males and 99% of non-caucasian females put for not wanting to sign up, compared to 89% and 98% of caucasians.

[Sloper]

to sloper: listen you sad fat pathetic old man, I am not an ex squaddie so I guess it is you and your so called friend who thinks he knows me who are the cocks here.

Ahhh my mistake I heard some reference to being a plank and thought you were a former member of the RA.

I'm glad you're not in HM Forces after all I wouldn't want some Special Forces walt taking me out in the middle of the night.  After all, it wouldn't be worth your while as I've been trying to give away of load of stuff I have and no one will even take it for free.

Anyway you are Mick Ryan and I claim my £5

[robertostallioni]

to sloper: listen you sad fat pathetic old man, I am not an ex squaddie so I guess it is you and your so called friend who thinks he knows me who are the cocks here.

Yeah. Sloper, you sad fat pathetic old man, do you want this Jim Davidson DVD or not. You Cock. 

[chummer]

You should work in sales, you're a natural.

 
This thread is fucking hilarious, i'm almost gutted i gotta leave work.

[BenF]

This thread is fucking hilarious, i'm almost gutted i gotta leave work.

I agree, I've just come across this thread, it's amazing!  PaulyDB please post some more.  I've never seen anyone goaded and then rise to it in quite such style.  I may wad you, since you're funnier than Jim Davidson.

[Yossarian]

You should work in sales, you're a natural.

Pauly - ABC

A - Always
B - Be
C - Closing

Always be closing, always be closing...

[Jaspersharpe]

This thread is fucking hilarious, i'm almost gutted i gotta leave work.

I agree, I've just come across this thread, it's amazing!  PaulyDB please post some more.  I've never seen anyone goaded and then rise to it in quite such style.  I may wad you, since you're funnier than Jim Davidson.

I'm not certain but maybe it's actually 1000000Dave in disguise.

[dave]

nah, its ol' Gil from the simpsons.

[PaulyDB]

all dvds are still available and with free postage.
anyone interested?

[PaulyDB]

the only fools and horses box set, the bone collector, 2 fast 2 furious, Alvin and the chipmunks, blue crush and trainspotting have now been sold.
the rest are still available.
anyone interested?

[robertostallioni]

Not if Alvin's gone.

[PaulyDB]

are you interested in anything else?
I would be willing to drop the price to £4 per disk.