[petejh]

Does anyone have experience of this and/or its treatment (exposure therapy)?

Background - I've just had a pretty stressful 15 day period with one thing after another: getting a book draft ready to print so it could be proofread prior to a meeting, getting the corrected drafts printed out for the guidebook checking meeting, having that meeting, while being on a 5 day site manager's course with associated homework and exams, then the house boiler breaking down mid-week, last-minute tax return with a very large bill, trying to arrange payment of that in the middle of the week, a long commute each morning to the site manager's course (Llandudno to Altringham and back each day) with the motorway being shut one day meaning the commute took 2hrs45min instead of the 1.30 it should have taken, and not getting much sleep (averaged about 5 hours each night) for the last two weeks.

Anyway, yesterday I had the final exams for the site manager's course, part of which involved giving a short (5 minutes) presentation to the assessor and the rest of the room (9 people). I was one of a 4 person group, each giving a part of a presentation describing the initial layout of a construction site for a fictitious residential building project - I know close to nothing about residential house-building projects or construction site layout, but really all I had to do was describe the features of the site by reading the notes; not difficult in theory...
I started the presentation off first and immediately got anxious and went into shutdown, my voice went shaky, face went bright red and I gave a truly awful, mumbling and trembling account of myself. It was highly embarrassing and the next member of the group basically ended up stepping in early to avoid total meltdown on my part! It was obvious to everyone.

I've always been a little bit anxious of public speaking and I usually feel dread and anxiety creep up when I know in advance I've got to speak to groups, but if I know my subject well I can usually give a good account of myself and am normally able to fight down the feeling of rising fear. But if I don't know the subject I struggle more. This was the worst I can ever remember it being though - basically I was reduced to a useless trembling-voiced wreck! The day before in the course I had to give a briefing to the room about some regulations I know very well and I gave a good strong briefing which I know came across well to the others, it was one of the strongest briefings based on the marks awarded (although I could still feel that little bit of fear inside me as I spoke!).
I got 96% in the theory side of the exams, not like I don't get the subject!

I'm sure being very tired and stressed in the background contributed but I'm also aware I've got a weakness which I'd like to strengthen. Anyone been through this and have any recommendations how best to do it?

[tomtom]

Hi Pete,
That sounds like a tough time - and your off performance was certainly not helped (if not caused by) the stressful days before hand..

Writing as someone who presents (lectures) as a living (or part of it) there are some tricks you can use..

But first - everyone (no matter how experienced) has off days when it just doesnt work or you screw up - thats life. I remember having to lecture 1/2 hour after being dumped and it was one of the most surreal teaching experiences I remember (god knows what the students thought!)... also, being nervous is completely natural. Even giving a class or presentation I've done several times before - some butterflies are always there.. In addition - nerves shows that you respect your audience - if you are too cocky or overconfident that can often send the wrong impression...

To help - practice. Both to yourself (reading it out) and to other people (friends, family, cat, dog..). Also with practice is experience - the more times you do it (even if you hate it) the better you will become. Practice an ultimately lead to confidence and a better performance etc...

I find that if I'm especially nervy about a presentation - script the first 2-3 (or more) slides with either bullet point notes of even have what you are going to say verbatim on cards/bit of paper.. I wrote the whole of my wedding speech out on paper - and in the end just highlighted several key words and busked (largely to script) around them.. but it made me feel more confident that it was there for me to use if need be..  Anyway - the idea of scripting the first few is that once you are up and running - audience smiling etc.. then you can charge through the rest without any problem.

If its lots of people that put you off, then focus on just one or two people in the audience (friends easier - attractive young lady an alternative!) and try and ignore anyone else in the audience.

If its really really bad (it sounds like it was) then stop. Say you feel unwell and can you continue later.. the point of presentations is (usually!) not to torture the presenter, but so the audience can hear what they say - so whilst this may be a bit last resort its a fairly constructive alternative.

Or get really hammered before hand then you don't give a shit
(not a serious suggestion!)

[ghisino]

Basically what has been said before, but especially practice, practice and practice again.

and as for any public performance: convince yourself that there's no need to do anything more flashy than what you usually do (ie what you did in your last practices).

fight the expectation that you absolutely need to give 110%, it won't serve any purpose other than making you feel unfit for the challenge.
 
in my experience it works more or less the same way for speaking in front of an impressive audience of an impressive subject, teaching, guiding groups.

[Falling Down]

Having a meltdown happens from time to time.  I'm pretty comfortable with public speaking and actually enjoy it most of the time but had a proper wobble at a conference earlier this year when an awkward audience member just kept interrupting and asking irrelevant and really challenging questions.  I went bright red, got the shakes and a stammer and completely lost the thread... I could've punched the twat but he was a customer of ours.

I think practice helps and as I've started addressing bigger audiences I keep on meaning to get some coaching. 

I think my most nerve wracking moment was doing a live interview on Sky business news talking straight to camera in a dark room at the London Stock Exchange.  My postman was at home eating his lunch and spat his soup all over the table when I appeared on the Tele.

[fried]

This is a large part of my job, and I can tell you when I started I was terrified. I used to plan for almost any possible question that I might be asked. I can say for me (and I'm very shy) that the nerves will disappear the more you do it. Plan everything, get into the room early and make sure everything works properly. Don't try jokes unless you can carry them off, if noone laughs you will get more nervous.

I'm still awkward in a lot of social situations, but in front of a group I'm completely at ease. I've said everything before, I can predict what I'm going to be asked. I love getting suprise questions because I know how to react. It's almost like being someone else. Some audiences are easy and some are tougher, but I find group dynamics  facinating.

The key is planning, the more you do, the more relaxed you'll be. Over time you won't need to do the same amount of planning.

[tomtom]

I know what you mean FD. Live tv's a funny one - you can't see your audience but you know it's there. News24 stuff I've done is funny as you're just talking to a red light around a camera lens in a dark room. A bit like talking to Hal :D

I did a long local news studio piece a while back where the presenter and I chatted through the questions etc.. Then a min before my bit I looked over his shoulder and saw he'd changed all his questions to nasty ones! Cheeky cnut! I managed to re-adjust and smugly (well to me) answer his nasty questions...

[petejh]

Thanks for the advice all. What I find weird is I've done my fair share of public speaking over the past 20 years. I've given loads of lessons and briefings in the military, I've been thrown into the deep end up on stage in front of a group of 200 oil industry seismic-exploration workers and told to completely improvise, with zero props or preparation time, a 30 minute talk on working in a wilderness area - a typically cruel test by the cunt of an ex boss of one company I worked for in Canada. I've done lots of toolbox talks for jobs, given instruction on all sorts of subjects to all sorts of groups of people and basically have plenty of experience. It's not like I'm not used to public speaking and normally I do well. But this was a disaster and there's been a few times just over recent years where I've felt the rising panic when asked to speak in specific situations - usually in a room at the start of courses for instance.

Anyway just found a public speaking group called 'toastmasters' which sounds like a good thing to get lots of practice - anyone been?


Habrich: 

[Monolith]

One of the few subjects I can speak about with any degree of authority. From studying architecture, I had to present somtimes up to four times a week. I have many many tips for you mate and I'll pm them to you when back home this weekend.

A key element is a form of self hypnosis. I would treat my presentations and critiques as conversations with friends. Coupled with the fact that a very high proportion of critiquing architects are a torrid shower of infected cocks, I actually came to relish presentations and saw them as opportunities to offer firm rebuttals in my own self defence (read telling one critic to fuck off in front of 40 people without any qualm or hesitation). It's just a fun game public speaking Pete and you can internalise this fact I assure you.

Speak soon and heed the great advice offered thus far. Keep crushing your course crusher. Treat it as you would your most desired redpoint.

[Doylo]

My last bad one was years ago at Kendal Film fest. I went up because my film Obsession was in it and I thought it'd be good to say a few words to introduce it. I stood up and literally belted out a few lines at 1000mph in a squeeky voice . Sounded fuckin awful.

[colin8ll]

Sounds like you need to get back on the horse. If you're anxious not just about giving a talk (as is normal) but anxious about having a meltdown in front of an audience then you need to build your confidence back up to assure yourself that it won't happen again. Be assured that it probably happened because of all the stress you'd suffered that week leading up to the talk and it's unlikely you'll be in a similar position before your next talk so you'll be in a much better position next time.

I used to hate presenting and still do from time to time, usually like yourself I have problems when I've been stressed leading up to it. On the flip side when it goes well a talk can be great - you can almost feel the 'flow' like performing well at a sport. If I'm a little nervous one trick I use is to try and feel the love for everyone in the audience - tell yourself that they will all have strengths and weaknesses like yourself and you are just there to try and help them learn something. If you approach the task with a sense of humour too you will likely be better placed to deal with any set backs.

Good luck!

[underground]

I'm with Mono on the 'conversation with friends' approach. I also find not overthinking / practising is best, as long as I know my subject and have a few crib notes I do better, and tbh I'm generally too busy / unarsed to practice anyway. Admittedly this is nothing like live TV or presenting propaganda at big town hall type meetings, but I prefer the natural approach. The key thing for me is to be happy, or at least pretending to be happy even if stressed - so even on the phone or video conference I'll be smiling and it helps me to relax and flow - and I don't try to 'project' myself too much, just keep it like I'm having a one to one conversation, it helps people listen I reckon.

Admittedly, this is not immune from the 'torrid shower of infected cocks' when the awkward questions start flying!

[Muenchener]

Sounds like you've done plenty before, often quite successfully, and just this once had a shit day day, understandably in view of what sounds like very trying circumstances.

I'm in two minds about learning rhetoric/technique as a thing in itself, which from what I've heard is basically what you get from Toastmasters. A certain basic amount of it is useful no doubt, and I suspect Toastmasters would be as good a way as any of getting it, but beyond the basics knowing and believing in your material is the central thing imo. This also lets you keep notes to a minimum - you need to have a clear idea of what points you want to put over but avoid reading from a script, or sounding like you are doing so.

I'm doing a presentation next Wednesday to our Marketing people, a large proportion of whom are very hot babes and frighteningly clever too. In a foreign language. About a project in which I genuinely believe we did close to the best possible job in the circumstances, but whose results are nevertheless less than glowingly impressive. In a foreign language.

Actually, I find presenting in a foreign language in which one is fluent but not fully bilingual helps. Takes up mental capacity that could otherwise be devoted to worrying, and gives you something to hide behind.

I read Jerry Moffatt's Revelations this week. In the chapter about competitions he talks about the nervousness coming out of isolation and standing at the bottom of the route as an inevitable part of the process, something you have to train yourself to expect. Probably relevant.

[lagerstarfish]

I usually enjoy my public/group speaking stuff. I usually have a challenging audience and am OK with that (think the people who wouldn't be allowed on Jeremy Kyle). I do struggle when I find myself in a situation where I have to deliver content that I don't really care about to an audience that I don't like.

What helps me get my voice right is singing some scales - look on YouTube etc for some guidance

If I can make a twat of myself singing in the car park or in the back office, talking in front of a bunch of other folk is a bit easier

If belting out some big notes isn't possible then I hum through the scales

it gives me some control over my voice

Singing lessons have helped - and are a lot of fun - not that I'd ever admit to such things here

[andy popp]

I'm with Mono on the 'conversation with friends' approach.

With a larger audience I take the opposite tack and treat it as something of a performance, almost as though I assume a different character. I also prefer to improvise as much as possible - but being able to do with that has come with experience.

[tomtom]

I'm with Mono on the 'conversation with friends' approach.

With a larger audience I take the opposite tack and treat it as something of a performance, almost as though I assume a different character. I also prefer to improvise as much as possible - but being able to do with that has come with experience.

its always a performance darling *jazzhands*

[SA Chris]

Anyway just found a public speaking group called 'toastmasters' which sounds like a good thing to get lots of practice - anyone been?

If you are prepared to take the time, do it. I know a few people who go, and they say it's changed their abilities completely. I think they can sometimes put you in a under real pressure to perform, and make everything eassy by comparison.

I've gone some courses at work and trhey definitely help. I'm better than I was but never really do it enough to be great at it.