UKBouldering.com

the most wildly accurately graded problems in the WORLD (Read 2914 times)

cofe

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Are those fricken' sharks with fricken' laser beams attached to their fricken' heads?

Johnny Brown

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:tumble:









Are you on fuckin drugs man???

Jim

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That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry Mr. bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE!

dave

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I agree, preparation H does feel good,.... on the whole.

cofe

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Allow myself to introduce... myself.

dave

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Hey look at that, it looks just like an enormous...
JOHNSON! Whats that on the radar, it looks just like a ......
ONE EYED MONSTER!! Come and see the one-eyed monster!

Jim

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The 70s and the 80s? I've looked into it. There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That's about it.

cofe

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That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!

SA Chris

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It's like frikkin' catnip for clones.

You see Mr Powers, I looooove Gold
The shmell of it
The taste of it
The fexture of it
In fact, Mr Powers, I love gold so much, I lost my genitalia in an unfortunate shmelting accident.

Hence the name; Goldmember.

cofe

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One Swedish-made penis enlarger.
that's not mine
One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers.
I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine
One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.
I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers.

a dense loner

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can we put this kind of shit in the "shooting the shit" bit so i don't have to read it?

dave

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schmoke and a pancake?
cigar and a waffle?
pipe and a crepe?
bong and a flapjack?

SA Chris

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Quote from: "a dense loner"
can we put this kind of shit in the "shooting the shit" bit so i don't have to read it?


Uh-oh, the little one can't take a hint.

I thought I smelled cabbage.

cofe

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Quote from: "a dense loner"
can we put this kind of shit in the "shooting the shit" bit so i don't have to read it?


Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly.

Control freak

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The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.  My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy.  The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.  My childhood was typical.  Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets.  When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really.  At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Control freak

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Cause your not quite evil enough. Your semi-evil, your quasi-evil, your the margarine of evil, your the diet coke of evil, just one calorie, not "evil" enough

SA Chris

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Quote from: "Control freak"
The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.  My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy.  The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.  My childhood was typical.  Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets.  When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really.  At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.


You know, that old chestnut.

 

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