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the shizzle => shootin' the shit => music, art and culture => Topic started by: Sloper on March 10, 2015, 09:13:30 pm

Title: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Sloper on March 10, 2015, 09:13:30 pm
Does anyone really care?

Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: mrconners on March 10, 2015, 09:26:28 pm
No . But the bbc are never ones to shy away from any sort of publicity. It's probably all done to desperately try and create some interest in a fading programme.
Title: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: tomtom on March 10, 2015, 09:31:03 pm
Apparently he punched a producer...

And I think the BBC will suffer more financially from cancelling the series - best figures of any bbc2 prog.

He is a bell end - actually that's too benign - he's a nasty wanker.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: tomtom on March 10, 2015, 10:09:14 pm
The facts..   

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2014/09/25/jeremy-clarkson-admits-entire-career-was-social-experiment/#.VP9pGt5Sqso.twitter
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: TheTwig on March 11, 2015, 01:48:21 am
Total nobhead. He's the living avatar of the pathetic, childish 'lad' culture I was happy to escape from when I finished school.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Sloper on March 11, 2015, 07:32:18 am
Apparently he punched a producer...

And I think the BBC will suffer more financially from cancelling the series - best figures of any bbc2 prog.

He is a bell end - actually that's too benign - he's a nasty wanker.

He did punch Piers Moron, so he has some redeeming features
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: andy_e on March 11, 2015, 08:18:42 am
He did punch Piers Moron, so he has some redeeming features

That is a good effort, but still, two wrongs don't make a right...
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: a dense loner on March 11, 2015, 12:43:32 pm
Sometimes they do, obviously
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Jaspersharpe on March 11, 2015, 02:21:49 pm
The only problem with a celebrity death match between those two cunts would be that one would have to win.

Suppose it would still be ok if the victor lost an eye or a leg or something.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: petejh on March 11, 2015, 02:28:49 pm
Celebrity suicide pact
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Doylo on March 11, 2015, 02:44:34 pm
The only problem with a celebrity death match between those two cunts would be that one would have to win.

Suppose it would still be ok if the victor lost an eye or a leg or something.

At least one of them would be dead though.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Jaspersharpe on March 11, 2015, 02:51:54 pm
Good point.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Oldmanmatt on March 11, 2015, 03:37:15 pm

The only problem with a celebrity death match between those two cunts would be that one would have to win.

Suppose it would still be ok if the victor lost an eye or a leg or something.
Nah, just put both in a small room with an irate Rhinoceros.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: tomtom on March 11, 2015, 06:24:39 pm


The only problem with a celebrity death match between those two cunts would be that one would have to win.

Suppose it would still be ok if the victor lost an eye or a leg or something.
Nah, just put both in a small room with an irate Rhinoceros.

Heavily dosed with Viagra.. (The rhino - actually fuck it, all of them).
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: andy_e on March 11, 2015, 06:48:24 pm
I don't like this plan. The rhino might get hurt.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: tomtom on March 11, 2015, 07:14:35 pm
Yup. It might chip a horn or bust a vein in its cock.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: mrjonathanr on March 11, 2015, 09:22:54 pm
Stewart Lee - The Reason I hate Top Gear (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgABbHPdwH4#)
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Johnny Brown on March 11, 2015, 09:29:15 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/170FzUK.gif)
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Jaspersharpe on March 12, 2015, 11:48:51 am
(http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-940/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2015/3/10/1426019992146/db454944-4b79-4009-a4f4-0b44d05ba09d-620x424.jpeg)
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: lagerstarfish on March 13, 2015, 12:36:34 pm
  I guess there's little chance of getting this into the theory test now   
   
 
"Short people. When you've finished using a car, put the f**king seat back, so humans can use it afterwards,"
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: petejh on March 13, 2015, 04:01:57 pm
'Clarkson to get position at Ministry of Truth broadcasting arm presenting the daily edict; Beeb producer to be tightly strapped down to a workbench in room 101 and have rats chew at his face' says government spokesperson:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/jeremy-clarkson-david-cameron-backs-friend-and-huge-talent-after-witnesses-claim-top-gear-fracas-was-over-steak-10102585.html (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/jeremy-clarkson-david-cameron-backs-friend-and-huge-talent-after-witnesses-claim-top-gear-fracas-was-over-steak-10102585.html)


Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: horn on March 18, 2015, 02:44:58 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/170FzUK.gif)
There's a petition to get the BBC to to replace Clarkson with Alan Partridge.

https://www.change.org/p/the-bbc-hire-alan-partridge-to-replace-jeremy-clarkson (https://www.change.org/p/the-bbc-hire-alan-partridge-to-replace-jeremy-clarkson)

This really needs to happen.
In fact I reckon Steve coogan would do a right good job of it as himself. Get Rob Brydon to replace James May. And, errrr, Johnny Dawes to replace Hammond. That might even convince me to pay the licence fee!
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: andy_e on March 18, 2015, 02:58:11 pm
I'd prefer Gareth Cheeseman I reckon.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: r-man on March 18, 2015, 03:12:58 pm
horn, you seem to have posted a petition with fewer names on it. There's also this one:

https://www.change.org/p/bbc-hire-alan-partridge-for-top-gear (https://www.change.org/p/bbc-hire-alan-partridge-for-top-gear)
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Jaspersharpe on March 18, 2015, 03:27:14 pm
Signed. It wont happen but this is a brilliant idea.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: lagerstarfish on March 18, 2015, 04:08:22 pm
can we also ask that Clartson be sent off with Jeremy Wade on his next angling adventure to the arse end of sowhere?

Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: shark on March 18, 2015, 04:54:34 pm
My son tells me (having picked it up on the web) that he called the producer a lazy Irish cunt and then punched him splitting his lip. Unlike most here I enjoy his writings (though less his TV persona) and up till now I was sympathetic to Clarkson having a read a defence of him by his chum AA Gill on Sunday but if the above is true then suspension was inevitable and nothing to do with him being awkwardly at odds with the prevailing PC culture.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: slackline on March 18, 2015, 05:00:22 pm
From 2011

Steve Coogan: I'm a huge fan of Top Gear. But this time I've had enough  (http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2011/feb/05/top-gear-offensive-steve-coogan)
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Sloper on March 23, 2015, 05:58:54 pm
My son tells me (having picked it up on the web) that he called the producer a lazy Irish cunt and then punched him splitting his lip. Unlike most here I enjoy his writings (though less his TV persona) and up till now I was sympathetic to Clarkson having a read a defence of him by his chum AA Gill on Sunday but if the above is true then suspension was inevitable and nothing to do with him being awkwardly at odds with the prevailing PC culture.

I'm just suprised the producer didn't punch him back.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: T_B on March 25, 2015, 04:45:39 pm

Seems like the right decision to me.

Nah, punching someone in the face at work is fair game I reckon. Presumably the million people who signed the petition to reinstate him think so #depressing
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Sloper on March 25, 2015, 04:51:34 pm
According to The Lawyer

BBC Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson has instructed Quinn Emanuel Urquhart & Sullivan to represent him in any potential commercial dispute against the BBC for breach of contract, pending the outcome of his employment hearing

T_B, never rule out stupidity, I mean look at all the people who supported the child rapist because he was a film director or that chap in the Embassy (mind blank for names but you follow the argument I'm sure) it's just human nature, no more no less
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: tomtom on March 25, 2015, 05:01:02 pm
AFAIK he's not been 'sacked' more that his contract will not be renewed..

And N.Yorks police are looking into the matter.. Given the profile I suspect the BBC would have gone over the legal implications with several fine toothed combs - and a large magnifying glass just to be sure.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Jaspersharpe on March 25, 2015, 05:14:56 pm
@T_B #helmets ;-)
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Sloper on March 25, 2015, 06:42:01 pm
AFAIK he's not been 'sacked' more that his contract will not be renewed..

And N.Yorks police are looking into the matter.. Given the profile I suspect the BBC would have gone over the legal implications with several fine toothed combs - and a large magnifying glass just to be sure.

It is interesting to see the difference between the treatment of Clarkson and the people who exposed Saville who have basically been bullied and hounded out of their positions.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: petejh on March 25, 2015, 07:54:56 pm
For an illuminating example of how myopic public adulation can be see Loius Theroux's blog post on Saville and the comments below it (which soon change from adulation to horror), written shortly after Saville's death but before his true nature came to light.

http://louistheroux.com/jimmy-savile/ (http://louistheroux.com/jimmy-savile/)


Theroux's programe about Saville makes compelling viewing with the wisdom of hindsight. I watched it when it was first broadcast and I remember thinking then what a weird and completely alone person Saville was.

Clarkson's on a different page (unless he's been buggering Hammond) but he's another example of the halo effect.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: lagerstarfish on March 25, 2015, 08:54:49 pm
what's this about a rumor that he's been offered a regular column on UKC?
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: danm on March 25, 2015, 09:05:37 pm
The guy is a massive tool and good riddance to him. What I really despise is the deliberate mild racism and middle aged, middle England slant on rebellion - "Look at me, I'm not PC." Fuck off dickhead, I grew up with the NF marching outside my house and I'm glad those days are over. Hammond is the classroom bully's sycophantic sidekick who really should have died in that crash. He can fuck off as well.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: petejh on March 25, 2015, 09:22:21 pm
what's this about a rumor that he's been offered a regular column on UKC?

Can't imagine Theroux going for that.
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: lagerstarfish on March 25, 2015, 09:26:25 pm
yes, but has clarkson accepted it?
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Oldmanmatt on March 27, 2015, 08:27:37 am
Faith in local Gov. = restored.

(http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/15/03/27/5e24bf183ee9dfda83123a09ace3c487.jpg)
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: fatneck on March 27, 2015, 12:03:43 pm
This made me chuckle too!

https://twitter.com/ClimbingRumours/status/581208586036056064
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: finbarrr on April 01, 2015, 09:02:58 am
either hell just froze over, or it's april 1st
 ;)

http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/apr/01/jeremy-clarkson-joins-guardian-drive-for-fossil-fuel-divestment
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: Mike Tyson on June 16, 2015, 09:19:29 pm
Chris Evans taking the wheel at Top Gear.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-33158464
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: tomtom on June 21, 2015, 05:16:38 pm
Quote
For years now, a vast, gaping inter-dimensional sphincter, the size of a gothic cathedral rose window, has throbbed and dilated silently at the heart of the BBC buildings on Upper Regent Street, belching fossil fumes and foul thoughts from a dark realm of negative space. I saw inside the pulsating meat oculus once, caught unawares as I stumbled across the Dave channel late at night, drunk. There, between Lee Mack’s laughing face and Robson Green’s leaping fish, compelling footage of the fetid portal’s sickening interior unfurled endlessly into the small hours.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jun/21/top-gear-chris-evans-sphincter
Title: Re: Jeremy Clarkson, Cat D write off
Post by: dave on June 21, 2015, 06:23:04 pm
Classic Lee.
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