UKBouldering.com
the shizzle => news => Topic started by: MattH on September 29, 2009, 11:04:59 am
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Not exactly boulderers, but hopefully of interest all the same:
Due to popular demand the Lescar Lectures are back this winter. To date we've booked three nights:
October 12th - Stephen Venables - Higher Than The eagle Soars
November 10th - Kenton Cool - 5 Years Since Sheffield & Not A Boulder In Sight
December 14th - Adele Penington - A Year In The Death Zone
All lectures start at 20.30 (please arrive by 20.00). Tickets cost £7 (£6 for normal concessions). More info and online ticket sales available at http://www.heason.net/Events/ (http://www.heason.net/Events/)
The events are supported by Virgin Active and UKClimbing. Turn up to the first two and you'll be automatically offered a free one-week-trial at the local Virgin gym!
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I'm sure the lectures will be good but I cant help feeling that you are trying to sell the merits of the Bob Graham round to Usain Bolt ;)
Good Luck
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No Bonnington, no sale.
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At the risk of sounding negative, I must admit I'd rather nail my face to a galloping horse's hooves than sit through another never-ending kenton cool lecture with the same misjudged anti-bouldering "joke" repeated every 5 minutes. :wank:
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Having never met him, but having read about him on the internet, I've always had the nagging suspicion that Kenton Cool was, perhaps, a bit of a cock. May I take this as confirmation? :-\
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I "met" him at pinches wall once.
He muttered something like "So people do this for fun do they ?" under his breath.
I walked away
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That was rather condescending!
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Insert Quote
That was rather condescending!
You mean me or him ?
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That was rather condescending!
You mean me or him ?
Sorry, Kenton was being condescending. I'm sure others look at what he does and think its a waste of time, shame he hasn't realised this yet and feels the need to belittle others pass-times/interests.
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He's shit hot at walking up snow, sucking Os and dragging a punter though. And he does it for cash! No wonder he thumbs his nose at bouldering for fun.
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I still think I'd be grabbing the nails and hammer and heading down the stables.
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He's shit hot at walking up snow
So people do this for fun, do they?
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Well he looks like he's enjoying himself:
(http://www.livefortheoutdoors.com/upload/531974/inlines/Summit%20KCs4w.jpg)
Who's the daddy!
Must feel a long way from Raven Tor.
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Yeah! Sit start this, motherfuckers!
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Well he looks like he's enjoying himself:
(http://www.livefortheoutdoors.com/upload/531974/inlines/Summit%20KCs4w.jpg)
Who's the daddy!
Must feel a long way from Raven Tor.
Looks like he's pretty happy with dropping off a load of stuff at a remote branch of Oxfam.
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the lengths some people go to avoid having to do a hard move eh.
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(http://www.livefortheoutdoors.com/upload/531974/inlines/Summit%20KCs4w.jpg)
I want those mitts for this winter at the cliff
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So that's a yes then. Thought so. :)
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The mans looking for some advice, go get
http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/t.php?n=375109 (http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/t.php?n=375109)
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So who'd you like to see in the Lescar?
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Kylie.
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you're so sharp!
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Kylie.
:lol:
So who'd you like to see in the Lescar?
Jasper Sharpe
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Jasper Sharpe
Seconded :)
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Brian Blessed.
Do they still serve pints in tankards there?
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si o'conor
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Brian Blessed.
Yes!
and maybe Mrs Sharpe talking/ranting about/to her husband, Jasper Sharpe.
Maybe Jasper's mum could do the following week?
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if there were some boulderers talking you could promote the lecture here :goodidea:
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I'd give you boyz a lecturer you'd never forget.
I dare you to book me!!
Here's a Kenton Cool fact, he walked away from the proposal of doin Kanchenzonga with me, now that's a real mountain. Has he climbed that one yet?
When I've got the shreddies I think i'll hire him as a porterledge.
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I dare you to book me!!
What would you like in exchange for this lecture?
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Cash generally works!
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Here's a Kenton Cool fact, he walked away from the proposal of doin Kanchenzonga with me
I'm guessing he doesn't like suffering as much as he claims he does.
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Cash generally works!
I was thinking along the lines of some lessons in the correct use of CAPS and grammar, but it looks like you've got those sorted now. ;)
I'll put up a fiver and a beer towards the PATRuL speech fund (cash on delivery, beer anytime)
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Well lets get it on, money is more versitile than booze but the old beer does make the tongue flow.
ON what subject other than respect for the rock and nature could I talk on.
The size of Moffat penis is irrelavant and has about as much bearing on any matter as how hard we think we climb.
Loskot has the right idea its all about the fun man.
What's going on in the world when we are blowing each other up?
Surely its more about bigging each other up (when needed) than bashing each other down.
I mean who ever wants another being to fail on a death route?
So yes come on JOnboy put your money where your mouth is and start buying that Ecover stuff.
Straight up children of the chemical generation, its not rocket science to work this stuff out. We do actually live in a world of reality, not just media fed glory and tick lists, does it really matter what McClure climbed when all this nuttiness runs amok? McClure doesn't really bother about his achievement, just like ALi-ji he can see the light! SO don't anyone else tell me to get a grip, when the reality they live in is pure escapism. Do the dishes JIbe!
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So yes come on JOnboy put your money where your mouth is and start buying that Ecover stuff.
??? I already buy Ecover, what's your point?
How about a coherent sentence rather than mock portentous drivel if you've got something to say?
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I'm glad to here that, but i know for a fact the works do not, i'm very happy your chemical out put is limited.
We live in portentous times do we not?
The fragile eco-system reaches tipping point, out communities fail us and most people stand idle or rise above it as though they are not part of it.
My point is i'm sick of hypocrasy and the elitism that is now rife thoughout the climbing scene, sadly its fallen prey to corporate thinking.
I can see why my fig Pollet biscuit jumped ship to Oz, because he could see what was coming.
Redhead was ahead of his time too, it takes great minds to remain intact on these extreme death routes.
And as for Mr Dawes he was the sanest character in the climbing scene, the reason people can't cope with him is the limit of the vision and a belief in rigid social structure.
Is it any wonder this country throws up so many eccentrics, when you consider the 1984-esque landscape we have to navigate everyday?
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I'm glad to here that, but i know for a fact the works do not, i'm very happy your chemical out put is limited.
We live in portentous times do we not?
The fragile eco-system reaches tipping point, out communities fail us and most people stand idle or rise above it as though they are not part of it.
My point is i'm sick of hypocrasy and the elitism that is now rife thoughout the climbing scene, sadly its fallen prey to corporate thinking.
And how are you suggesting I'm especially implicated in that Yan? Which one of us was it saw fit to fly to Oz last year for a jolly? You speak of hypocrisy?
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Well Mr Fullwood I'm glad to have finally found a sparring partner.
Perhaps finally we can get that article written we intended all those years ago, that would be awesome.
Pot kettle black?
OZ?
Hmm, lets look at your travel record.
We are all implicated in the hypocrasy from this we can not escape.
The reason I went to Oz and NZ 'on a jolly' as you so wistfully put it, was primarily as part of my healing process, not to tick some old route or other, when there's plenty of unfinished business here, ie BODymachine, but i did have flu coming on on my last attempt, oh and i forgot to cut my finger nails straight!
I travel to educate my self, ultimately to serve this world, not exclusively to pleasure myself as some may be rumoured to believe.
Jealousy never got us anywhere, as did not being willing to let go of the past, with reference to certain relatives and so called friends.
Its a funny old business life, especially when some people are unable to take a good look in the mirror, and i exclude you from this so don't take it personally.
ONly you can answer to your mirror.
Can you do so honestly?
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I can mostly ignore your semi-coherent ramblings but that is the biggest load of self-justifying cock wank jam guff I have read in a very long time.
If you want to start throwing around accusations of planetary rape it's best not to do it with your pants round your ankles.
Next time you feel like contributing, just don't, we'll all survive I imagine.
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I have some organically grown free-range sponges which are available for collection by foot or recycled bike. These are fully suitable for throwing by everyone over the age of 3. This includes people who live in glass houses. PM me to arrange pick-up.
Anyway, must dash as my mate Woolley is on Uni Challenge again
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I'm sorry your heart is so closed.
Obviously the reflection you see is too scary for you.
I'll tame it down just for you.
I could recommend a few nice stories for you, such as Goldilocks, but I'd watch out for the bears they might bite.
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Well Mr Fullwood I'm glad to have finally found a sparring partner.
Perhaps finally we can get that article written we intended all those years ago, that would be awesome.
Pot kettle black?
OZ?
Hmm, lets look at your travel record.
We are all implicated in the hypocrasy from this we can not escape.
The reason I went to Oz and NZ 'on a jolly' as you so wistfully put it, was primarily as part of my healing process, not to tick some old route or other, when there's plenty of unfinished business here, ie BODymachine, but i did have flu coming on on my last attempt, oh and i forgot to cut my finger nails straight!
I travel to educate my self, ultimately to serve this world, not exclusively to pleasure myself as some may be rumoured to believe.
Jealousy never got us anywhere, as did not being willing to let go of the past, with reference to certain relatives and so called friends.
Its a funny old business life, especially when some people are unable to take a good look in the mirror, and i exclude you from this so don't take it personally.
ONly you can answer to your mirror.
Can you do so honestly?
Ah but unlike Mr PATRul I never claimed to be an environmental saint. I wasn't painting myself the environmental messiah, telling all and sundry which washing up liquid to buy. You on the other hand are a hypocite because you claim to be superior when your house is in no better order than the next man.
So you flew to the other side of the world to educate yourself and serve the world. How noble. So what did you learn?
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So you flew to the other side of the world to educate yourself and serve the world. How noble. So what did you learn?
How to be a prick by the looks of things!
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why doesnt he do the environment (and us) a favour and switch his fucking computer off.
:shrug:
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So you flew to the other side of the world to educate yourself and serve the world. How noble. So what did you learn?
How to be a prick by the looks of things!
why doesnt he do the environment (and us) a favour and switch his fucking computer off.
:shrug:
Been waiting for an opportunity to use this..........
(http://i36.tinypic.com/2hczxxv.gif)
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I'm not suprised you've been waiting for an opportunity to use that, after all you could hardly bill a client for sending them that when they submitted their tax returns.
Which reminds me I have to do mine some time soon.
Anyway Patrul? do you reckon he's worth trolling a la PaulyDB, I don't think he's worth the effort but I'm willing to be pursuaded otherwise.
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Don't fucking talk to me about tax returns. HMRC are a bunch of useless moronic pricks. They've sacked all the people who knew what they were talking about and now just employ phone monkeys who pass you from one to another ad infinitum. Of course it's still then your responsibility if something reaches them late despite it being late because they can't do something as simple as issue an online filing authorisation code in a month of asking.
:furious:
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Don't fucking talk to me about tax returns. HMRC are a bunch of useless moronic pricks. They've sacked all the people who knew what they were talking about and now just employ phone monkeys who pass you from one to another ad infinitum. Of course it's still then your responsibility if something reaches them late despite it being late because they can't do something as simple as issue an online filing authorisation code in a month of asking.
:furious:
It's probably not the HMRC people but rather management consultants who are fucking muppets who couldn't think their way out a paper bag but who are screwing the taxpayer at £1000 per day.
Just remember that just before the merger of IR with C&E the decision was made to get rid of some of the specialist forensic tax accountants who actually brought in more than their salaries.
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I know. It's a fucking mess.
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They fuck ya, they fuck ya, they fuck ya. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk8NlRIZPIo#ws)
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If we can't have Jasper Sharpe can we have Richard Sharpe - he would have some great stories about fighting Napoleon.
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He can also tell us about feighting with Legolas and 'dwaarfs
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"WOuld it not be madness to fight? We come one." Faithless.
Sadly we can't get a better ego, so like everyone, i'm just expressing mine.
Sorry chaps, stiff upper lip and all that.
I thought the climbing scene was more open minded than that, but its so easy to disparage and judge others efforts.
At least I know i am trying and open to conversation.
Good luck dealing with your emotions fellas, at least i am not frightened to look.
The drive for success for gain never got anyone anywhere.
Stand up Steve McClure and mr average punter.
I feel some people are due a humour check out.
It's not so serious, honestly so many of you are so easy to wind up.
Up the punters!
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You'll find that most people on these boards are for the most part pretty encouraging and supportive of everyone's efforts, no matter what ability e.g. I'm a punter and have got congrats when I've achieved some of the modest leads I've wanted to do, this in turn has encouraged me to work harder to do more of my ticklist instead of letting it fall by the wayside as it has in previous years and as such have achieved more of the climbs I wanted to lead this year than any previous year (must dig out some more to add to the list and finish of the remainder!).
There are occasions where witch hunts occur because the claims being made just don't stack up, but all in all its very encouraging and open minded.
This might not tally with you're experience of meeting people at the crags/walls, but try and distinguish between the two.
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I generally find my distinguishing monitor is pretty spot on.
At the end of the day who can you trust but yourself.
So indeed finding trusting belays is vital.
Though I have to say my experience of English spotting is terrible, as a generalisation the ENglish are the worst spotters in the world.
Yes i try and avoid cliques.
I used to find the Brit climbing scene very open and joyous experience, but as it becomes more mainstream people have been less friendly. THough alot of the new generation are amiable too.
I am a very friendly fellow believe it or not and Zaff will verify that i'd talk to anyone.
My moral compass is pretty accurate, but at the end of the day we are all part of each other and the reflection we get back is often a reflection of our mind. HOwever, as we are so messed up as a species the mirror we find is often fragmented and not a clear reflection of our truth.
I hope this makes sense.
I'm just love sick, so apologises once again for any misdemeaners, but some of you i'm sure can understand my anger, and perhaps even share it.
THough where i direct it i must take more responsibility, I can not expect the compassion of the closed hearted.
May you all be blessed in life and love and stay relaxed.
Om shanti.
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You sound like me - when I was in sixth form.
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I wish we were all in sixth form still, ah, the good old days, studying in Sheff on the dole mostly in stoned isolation - i thought alot then.
Never really managed to burn BOnjoy and overthehillguru off though, still they've slowed down abit now.
Though i do remember putting Moonie off with a bit of verbal diaroheea at the Floundary, i thought whoops he's pulled a tendon, but it was just him falling.
You see i thought i'd teach him a lesson in mindfulness, it never worked and i feel he took those comps too serioiusly, at least Moffat enjoyed them in his inimitable way.
The best bit was the awe and expectation when Moonie walkedup to the wall in birmingham, sadly he never delivered, possibly something to do with him asking for silence or something ... you could have heard a pin drop. Anyway that was ages ago. I could never figure out why some people can't onsight near their redpoint grade. Gaskins is another. I think once you let go of finding one's being anywhere near the top and just do each move one at a time then somehow miraculously one finds oneself at the so called finnish. That is until the next problem shows up. What is it with power wads? WOlfies trouble, rest his soul, was he forgot about his feet... the more we push with our chunky old legs the easier it is. Right? Something to do with erm, relaxing i think, but i wouldn't know anything about that!
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Furthermore, thanks for the rant outlet, its great therapy, and someone gets to read it. Anyway i can't keep this up i've a book to finish.
Thanks for all the big ups and downs, whoever you are masquerading as, it lets you know where you stand.
All i want to do is fulfill my potential, i would be daft to do otherwise right?
Now i think that Danny Brookes is a fine fellow.
And that Lucien Cottle, i taught him a thing or two, is he still fat?
Not that i'm an anti-fatist or anything, but it is a bit rife in the old climbing scene.
Up the fat punters - they've got the best footwork!
Rest well, don't work too hard and have a nice day. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS thanks for the hug lagerfish, have a manly x
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Good morning climbing world, here's a poetic offering, have a nice day.
GRIPPED BY INERTIA
Gripped by the inertia of being seen
The victim heads down into the underworld
Tremulus magnetic waves pulsate
What we are though is always revealed
Hiding from this only creates that
In the realm of social engagement
One cannot escape
In the realm of nature one cannot escape
It is folly to think or do otherwise.
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Good morning PATRuL
A day in London has left me feeling critical (constructively, I hope) of your work.
In the realm of social engagement
One cannot escape
I disagree.
Social engagement, even face to face, is easy to escape from. Or are you talking about the irrational feeling/fear that to engage in any social contact is to commit to maintaining that relationship? I understand that.
Do you mean that social engagement cannot be used as a means to escape the truth about what we really are? More along the lines of "into the realm of social engagement, one cannot escape". This is worth thinking about.
In the realm of nature one cannot escape
It is folly to think or do otherwise.
"It is folly to think or try to do otherwise"? Since as you have already said one cannot escape - actually doing it is not possible, but trying is a (foolish) possibility.
Again, I prefer "Into the realm of nature, one cannot escape"; but I can't see how anyone (except the truly fucked) could think that in nature one would see anything but what we really are. The only things that we can escape from by immersing ourselves in nature are the false façades of modern life.
I felt the waves. Kind of conveys the feeling of something very heavy, but without physical mass. Nice
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Good morning PATRuL
A day in London morning on the lash has left me feeling critical (constructively, I hope) of your work like talking bollocks.
:beer1: :)
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A day in London has left me feeling critical (constructively, I hope) of your work.
I am feeling critical too, but not constructively.
I thought it was a log.
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Excellent, lagerfish, a fantastic deconstruction of my poem.
THough to claim any right to its ownership is as futile as thinking you own the pint you are drinking. Now that is a touchy subject! Did you spill my pint? Growl. Ooh hand bags at 50 paces!
And as for you Mr Sharpe, less taking things to account and you may step nearer to doing your first bold route! Of course you are a great climber, i feel you got led astray at some point. The day Moffat taught you a lesson in TOm's cave (Stoney) you took to heart, of course he was going to burn you off, he was the best climber in the world. No one will ever go and onsight all the worlds problems with quite as much speed as he was consuming those prime lines. Though that young ONdra chap could certainly make a good fist of it. Moffat was miles ahead, when the routes were not as physically or technically challenging as they are today and he was full of no mind (mushin) which equates to being in the moment, which is where we need to be if we are to really empower ourselves. Taking it all too seriously leads to stiffness and fear.
Incidently Mr Sharpe when was the last time you went back 'home' to london town and had the courage to strike up conversation with a complete 'stanger'? We can only be stangers to our selfs. If this little tittle tattle has been taken to heart then apologies, but as Bruce Lee said 'don't enter the ring if you can't even take an insult.' For what its worth Jasper i think you are lovely. HERe's another little accountancy test incase you are bored by it all - how many sheiks does it take to rattle and roll?
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Good morning PATRuL
A day in London morning on the lash has left me feeling critical (constructively, I hope) of your work like talking bollocks.
:beer1: :)
wish this was the case
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OK, I'll bite......... but only to correct facts!
1. I only ever climbed in Tom's Cave once, with Quent. He sanbagged me by getting me to pull on to the first move of the original problem (wearing trainers) and then saying "come on Jasper, you've got to flash it now!". I did. We went to Rubicon.
2. I have never lived in London.
No offence taken and no, I will never climb a bold route. :)
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He can also tell us about feighting with Legolas and 'dwaarfs
And Wednesday.
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Excellent, thank you for clarification, but that was not what i heard, perhaps i misread the smoke signal from my Hillsborough abode, whilst looking in the direction of the Foundary. Apologies. Each to their own, be it snow walking, or bouldering, as long as it is done with integrity. There's alot to be learnt in whatever way we climb.
Here's a fact i once saw Wednesday in Europe, they lost to a german team. They should bring Cantona out of retirement.
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That's ok. I've heard much worse rumours about myself and, of course, I got burned off plenty of times. Just not by Jerry. ;)
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He can also tell us about feighting with Legolas and 'dwaarfs
And Wednesday.
:o
He's a ex blunt director. I'm not sure he knows that much about football
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That's ok. I've heard much worse rumours about myself and, of course, I got burned off plenty of times. Just not by Jerry. ;)
I once got served at the bar before Jasper.
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:furious:
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I did a move on his original Shef board once.
Matt Smith's indoor approach never quite worked though, he decided to conquer the coffee world instead. Does he still push coffee?
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He can also tell us about feighting with Legolas and 'dwaarfs
And Wednesday.
I'll never tire of hearing how, as a brewery worker approaching middle age, he was picked from sunday league obscurity to put in a match winning performance for Sheffield United at Bramall Lane. It really does get better with every telling. Magic.
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What a man. Someone should make a film of that epic tale.
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I did a move on his original Shef board once.
Matt Smith's indoor approach never quite worked though, he decided to conquer the coffee world instead. Does he still push coffee?
Push pineapple, grind coffee.
(http://mos.musicradar.com/images/artist-news/black-lace/black-lace-200-80.jpg)
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I did a move on his original Shef board once.
Matt Smith's indoor approach never quite worked though, he decided to conquer the coffee world instead. Does he still push coffee?
That was Smyth rather than Smith, and dont think so (although dont definately know). He sold Coffee Rev for a massive profit and had some kiddies with Delyth Goody I think.
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Do you think they'll be old enough for coffee then?
Does the myth of Matt Symth still climb?
Surely once an addict always an addict, or at least a recovering one?
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No his name is actually Matt Smith. Smythe was a nickname that me and Gresham started calling him, I can't remember why but it stuck.
He and Neil still own the Coffee Revolution on Eccy Rd (I think) but he sold the other two. He has since branched out into other businesses.
Last time I saw Smythe he'd not climbed for years apart from the odd potter about.
Dob is right about him being married / having kids with Del.
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Surely once an addict always an addict, or at least a recovering one?
For once, I agree entirely.
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I once met some famous climbers too
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Del was down The Works the other month but didn't look in particularly good shape ;)
Aren't they called something weird like Goodsmith now.
I thought Matt's other business's had gone tits up?
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The crystal meth scene has yet to be properly developed in Sheffield. With Matt's skills in stimulant sales and distribution he might do very well.
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Actually i'll tell you where its at these days ... coffee enemas.
Up yer bums!
Its the perfect pre climb tonic. Once released you feel llight as a feather and an awesome chillled kind of rush. Hence 6b's becoming a rest.
I'm convinced its the key to Ondras success.
No longer is it fashionable to sup a coffee and cake, get to the bog and pop a couple of litres of coffee up yer bum.
Feel the rush.
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Are there any known health risks with UYB coffee use?
Can nicotine be used in a similar way? Grease up a cig, push it in and that's it for the day? A water based lubricant would slowly mix in with the tobacco and help a steady release. Far more socially acceptable than smoking, won't mess your lungs up and could be more fun than patches.
Plenty of material here for a Lescar Lecture.
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Are there any known health risks with UYB coffee use?
Can nicotine be used in a similar way? Grease up a cig, push it in and that's it for the day? A water based lubricant would slowly mix in with the tobacco and help a steady release. Far more socially acceptable than smoking, won't mess your lungs up and could be more fun than patches.
Plenty of material here for a Lescar Lecture.
Nicotine reduces pressure on the sphincter muscles (http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=nicotine+sphincter) (at least in rabbits!).
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I thought Matt's other business's had gone tits up?
They did but he turned it round again with some new venture (apparently).
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I don't mind what way up tits are.