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the shizzle => shootin' the shit => the log pile => Topic started by: Andy B on February 18, 2014, 07:59:02 pm

Title: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Andy B on February 18, 2014, 07:59:02 pm
After receiving an unsolicited insulting personal message from Tom O'Rourke, I'm feeling bullied and intimidated. What is UKB's policy on this sort of thing please?
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Falling Down on February 18, 2014, 08:02:24 pm
Out of order.  Tom, you need to see a GP and then a psychiatrist.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Sloper on February 18, 2014, 08:31:15 pm
After receiving an unsolicited insulting personal message from Tom O'Rourke, I'm feeling bullied and intimidated. What is UKB's policy on this sort of thing please?

I think I suggested that you read some history and called you an idiot.  If you're feeling bullied and intimidated I suggest that you, in addition to reading some history, also buy a dictionary.  If you want to engage in childish 'ooh have a punter point' when you clearly don't understand the issues, fine.

I'm not sure if we know each other 'in the flesh' if we don't please introduce yourself so I can call you an idiot to your face, explain why you're an idiot and do it sensibly over a pint.  As long as you don't bring that boy band impersonator, champagne socialist and Brighton fan along I'm sure it will be fine.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: shark on February 18, 2014, 08:43:42 pm
After receiving an unsolicited insulting personal message from Tom O'Rourke, I'm feeling bullied and intimidated. What is UKB's policy on this sort of thing please?

Hi Andy,

We don't have a policy but if you go to your profile then under the modify profile list on the left go to "buddies/ignore list" and you should be able to add Sloper to your ignore list. Check Personal messaging to ensure it is set to receive message from "All members, except those on the ignore list" which is the default setting anyway.

HTH
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Andy B on February 18, 2014, 08:47:12 pm
Does, the ignore button work in real life too? As he's now threatening to abuse me to my face too! Is there no end to his aggression!?!
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: shark on February 18, 2014, 08:55:34 pm
Does, the ignore button work in real life too? As he's now threatening to abuse me to my face too! Is there no end to his aggression!?!

I think the ignore feature means you cant see his posts.

In real life your stacked physique would have the required effect 
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Andy B on February 18, 2014, 09:07:49 pm
Does, the ignore button work in real life too? As he's now threatening to abuse me to my face too! Is there no end to his aggression!?!

I think the ignore feature means you cant see his posts.

In real life your stacked physique would have the required effect

Thanks, I think you're body's lovely too.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: andyd on February 18, 2014, 09:19:43 pm
After receiving an unsolicited insulting personal message from Tom O'Rourke, I'm feeling bullied and intimidated. What is UKB's policy on this sort of thing please?

Hi Andy,

We don't have a policy but if you go to your profile then under the modify profile list on the left go to "buddies/ignore list" and you should be able to add Sloper to your ignore list. Check Personal messaging to ensure it is set to receive message from "All members, except those on the ignore list" which is the default setting anyway.

HTH

Genius! Perhaps we could default all of Sloper's hate comments to the ignore list for new members. That way people can choose when they want to have someone being unnecessarily aggressive and unkind to them. :2thumbsup:
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: GCW on February 18, 2014, 09:39:16 pm
I'm sorry if I'm being over sensitive, but surely bullying is wrong? If someone feels intimidated, that's not a healthy place to be. This isn't me having a go at Sloper or anyone else, but personally I feel that UKB has been less friendly recently (as my recent "dicks" incident will support).

Play nicely or fuck off.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: AndyR on February 18, 2014, 09:55:36 pm
What is UKB's policy on this sort of thing please?
(http://www.neverpaintagain.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/down-with-this-sort-of-thing.jpg)
Did Sloper get his lad out?
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: rginns on February 18, 2014, 09:57:50 pm
I'm sorry if I'm being over sensitive, but surely bullying is wrong? If someone feels intimidated, that's not a healthy place to be. This isn't me having a go at Sloper or anyone else, but personally I feel that UKB has been less friendly recently (as my recent "dicks" incident will support).

Play nicely or fuck off.

+1
interesting thread
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Paul B on February 18, 2014, 10:33:33 pm
The implementation of the ignore list is fairly poor in SMF.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: GCW on February 18, 2014, 10:34:17 pm
Just playing devil's advocate here but I think if you punter somebody, it's not unreasonable to get a PM in response. Arguably it's not really an "unsolicited" PM.

I see your point here, although I'm still not sure that sending someone a nasty PM is fair play. Not being specific, but it's easy to misinterpret a post and send a shitty PM which is undeserved. That's the problem with the emotionless flatline of the net.

I would still say that sending someone a personal message with negative connotations is still bordering on bullying.

It's not about being consensus-ey, it's about etiquette, manners, politeness and having some degree of respect for others.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: tomtom on February 18, 2014, 10:43:28 pm
Wad/Punter points are public - as are the comments associated with them.
PM's are not.

Its a small difference - and might not have any impact in what users post in them - but it is a notable difference nonetheless...
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Stubbs on February 18, 2014, 11:10:41 pm
I agree with TT, if you are going to try and get tough guy with somebody at least do it in the public fora so we can all have a good laugh at the posturing.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: andyh on February 18, 2014, 11:51:14 pm
+1 for banning him. This is a poll right?
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Falling Down on February 19, 2014, 12:10:09 am
No bans this isn't Pravda...
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: andy popp on February 19, 2014, 07:01:04 am
No bans this isn't Pravda...

+1
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: slackline on February 19, 2014, 07:37:26 am
Just playing devil's advocate here but I think if you punter somebody, it's not unreasonable to get a PM in response. Arguably it's not really an "unsolicited" PM.

I've done this in the past when receiving a puntering in an attempt to better understand what it is that caused annoyance to the punterer since the comments associated with wad/punter points are limited in content.

I've never (purposefully) been confrontational and have been grateful for the explanations and borne them in mind subsequently.

Usually its because I was being a dick.  :-[
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: dave on February 19, 2014, 09:13:11 am
Unfortunately adding Sloper to the ignore/twat list works fine in the web version for me but not via tapatalk. I'm going to have to resort to gaffertaping over the screen on my phone.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Teaboy on February 19, 2014, 09:42:29 am
Have you considered gaffertaping Sloper instead?
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Fiend on February 19, 2014, 10:09:04 am
 :clap2:
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Johnny Brown on February 19, 2014, 12:09:19 pm
Few things annoy me more than unsolicited PMs regarding forum posts or wad/puntering. Its a forum. If you can't discuss it publicly, don't bother.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: rodma on February 19, 2014, 12:21:22 pm
Few things annoy me more than unsolicited PMs regarding forum posts or wad/puntering. Its a forum. If you can't discuss it publicly, don't bother.

 :agree:

I received something recently from someone clearly not wanting an open discussion about something pretty trivial, so i laughed and ignored it.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: lagerstarfish on February 19, 2014, 12:21:37 pm
you could always threaten to blow his anonymity on the Daily Mail forum
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: SA Chris on February 19, 2014, 12:26:09 pm
Whether it's regarded as bullying or abusive, there's no need. Just an underhanded way of taking a cheap shot without exposing yourself to other forum users seeing what you are doing.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Doylo on February 19, 2014, 12:30:34 pm
It's a bit oversensitive sending a pm because you've been puntered
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: slackline on February 19, 2014, 01:44:03 pm
It's a bit oversensitive sending a pm because you've been puntered

Unless you want to understand why you were puntered in the first place, particularly if you might consider changing your behaviour in the future.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Monolith on February 19, 2014, 02:12:30 pm
I hope people don't think it is unreasonable to receive unsolicited PMs from moderators?

I found Shark's recent approach to me to be a bit disconcerting.

(http://i57.tinypic.com/16j3g9l.jpg)
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: shark on February 19, 2014, 02:15:23 pm
That's meant to be our special secret   :(
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: tomtom on February 19, 2014, 02:25:12 pm
He sent that to me too! Shark = busted.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: rginns on February 19, 2014, 03:41:28 pm
It's a bit oversensitive sending a pm because you've been puntered
:agree:
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: psychomansam on February 19, 2014, 04:28:53 pm
 :agree: :popcorn:
Few things annoy me more than unsolicited PMs regarding forum posts or wad/puntering. Its a forum. If you can't discuss it publicly, don't bother.

I think it's more a case of, as me old mam would say,  "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all"

Just to be clear I'm open to all offers of money, goods and services for free, am open to praise and adulation and am perfectly happy for you to grovel in gratitude for the endless wisdom/drivel I produce.

Else you can, as my better half would say, 'Fack off!'

Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: slackline on February 19, 2014, 04:43:41 pm
I consider forums be akin to a pub where you chat with people, some times its serious, others its shooting the shit.

At pubs Often you're out with a group who you know and some you might know better than others, whilst others in the pub you might not know at all.  If there is something interesting that some people are talking about I might go and join in the conversation.

However you (or at least I) don't sit in the pub shouting my at the top of my voice so that all can hear just because its a public house, people can have private conversations in public places the world over.  Sometimes I only want to talk to one or two people and that is where the Personal Messaging system has a role to play.  If that person doesn't want to talk then they can ignore me,  just as they can ignore a PM (or tell me to fuck off).

I don't see why would get annoyed ignoring something, its the most passive activity you can do.  :shrug:

Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: lagerstarfish on February 19, 2014, 05:49:21 pm
sit in the pub shouting my at the top of my voice so that all can hear

you've been in a pub while slopesy has been there?
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Adam Lincoln on February 19, 2014, 06:51:17 pm
Just use the ignore feature, and you won't see his posts. I know quite a few people, including me, who already do. I mean what does he bring to the forum anyway? 

Just look how many times he has been puntered since he returned to the forum this week.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Johnny Brown on February 19, 2014, 07:40:33 pm
If you want to make a pub analogy unsolicited PMs (from people I've barely met other than on forum threads) is a bit like someone following you into the bogs, cornering you and starting a rant. Unless its a moderator/ insect overlord in which case its more like being called to the bar for a word with the landlord, in which case fair enough, it's their pub.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: mrjonathanr on February 19, 2014, 08:20:31 pm
Just use the ignore feature, and you won't see his posts.

Thanks, that's a feature I wasn't aware of.  It's like being able to magically mute the rambling drunk at the bar who wants to butt in at every inopportune moment.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Johnny Brown on February 19, 2014, 08:28:11 pm
Does it stop him from following you into the bogs too?
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Sloper on February 20, 2014, 02:46:16 pm
More than happy to wind my neck in (no really, subject to caveats below), I just can't believe how thin some people's skins are; now if I'd sent the sort of message that Peter Andre sent me; i.e. giving me the alternative of a head butt or a punch then I'd understand the response, but the public running to teacher of the original post is in my view in poorer form than my pm which kicked off this kurfuffle.

Caveat, in my view adherents and exponents of socialism are morons.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Lund on February 20, 2014, 03:59:06 pm
I'm sorry if I'm being over sensitive, but surely bullying is wrong? If someone feels intimidated, that's not a healthy place to be. This isn't me having a go at Sloper or anyone else, but personally I feel that UKB has been less friendly recently (as my recent "dicks" incident will support).

Play nicely or fuck off.

I think this place has always been a bit bullying.  I puntered someone with forum powers, and got a ban.  That's even worse than PM'ing isn't it?  I'm bigger than you, so I'm going to ignore my own policies and ban you?

I guess unless it's real (i.e. you believe they are real) threats of actual violence or material harm of some kind, it's just some kids internet bullying you innit.  Best defence is to not give a fuck.

Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: cowboyhat on February 20, 2014, 06:11:27 pm

I think this place has always been a bit bullying.  I puntered someone with forum powers, and got a ban.


Did they explain why? What was the incident?
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Bubba on February 20, 2014, 06:59:12 pm

I think this place has always been a bit bullying.  I puntered someone with forum powers, and got a ban.


Did they explain why? What was the incident?

Him to me: "Don't needlessly act like a cunt".

What else did you really expect as a result of such a comment?  If I said that to an admin on any other forum I wouldn't expect anything different. Most places you'd get a permanent ban. If you think a temporary ban is bullying then you must have a tough time out there on the big nasty internet. And I wasn't ignoring any policies, please read the caveat under the section marked "Ban Levels" in the ban/acceptable use policy.

Anyway, let's move on shall we? Isn't this whole topic just a troll? There's a "report to admin" link attached to every PM - surely it's better just to use that rather than have all this public drama.  I'm sorry, but I don't see a user sending a single pissy PM as bullying unless it's particularly personal and abusive.  If the OP reported the post to us then we'd be able to make a judgement on that - I suspect that none of us want the hassle of having to go looking in the database for the offending PM; personally it's something I've never done and have no wish to change that because I believe that PMs should remain private.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: fatdoc on February 20, 2014, 07:08:40 pm
As the last bastion of the Internet forum culture this delightful place is,  :agree:

Let's move on, I agree with the pub comparisons....

Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: SA Chris on February 20, 2014, 08:23:59 pm
Lock and log?
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: fatdoc on February 20, 2014, 08:33:08 pm
Why not..
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Lund on February 20, 2014, 11:14:25 pm

I think this place has always been a bit bullying.  I puntered someone with forum powers, and got a ban.


Did they explain why? What was the incident?

Him to me: "Don't needlessly act like a cunt".

What else did you really expect as a result of such a comment?  If I said that to an admin on any other forum I wouldn't expect anything different. Most places you'd get a permanent ban. If you think a temporary ban is bullying then you must have a tough time out there on the big nasty internet. And I wasn't ignoring any policies, please read the caveat under the section marked "Ban Levels" in the ban/acceptable use policy.

Anyway, let's move on shall we? Isn't this whole topic just a troll? There's a "report to admin" link attached to every PM - surely it's better just to use that rather than have all this public drama.  I'm sorry, but I don't see a user sending a single pissy PM as bullying unless it's particularly personal and abusive.  If the OP reported the post to us then we'd be able to make a judgement on that - I suspect that none of us want the hassle of having to go looking in the database for the offending PM; personally it's something I've never done and have no wish to change that because I believe that PMs should remain private.

You took your ball away because you didn't like my comment.  I don't give a fuck.  Honestly, I could not give a shit.  You can dish it out all you want, I know you can't take it like a man.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Bubba on February 20, 2014, 11:25:17 pm
I don't give a fuck.  Honestly, I could not give a shit.
Yep...that's probably why you brought it up almost a year later :'(  :'(

You can dish it out all you want, I know you can't take it like a man.
Haha, what?!
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: dave on February 20, 2014, 11:36:48 pm
Pub analogy again: you're in a pub and calling one of the bar staff a cunt. What do you expect to happen? You shut up and apologise or find yourself another boozer.
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: rginns on February 21, 2014, 12:56:45 am
please for the love of man someone log this!
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: Bubba on February 21, 2014, 01:03:15 am
It hath been loggeth...should have been done about 3 days ago tbh, sorry  :shrug:
Title: Re: Bullying Personal Messages
Post by: shark on February 21, 2014, 09:30:43 am
I'm locking it too
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