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calling of the lime (Read 165354 times)

Johnny Brown

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#75 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 09:52:51 am
I think its gonna be a long, long time before Dobbin gets me in that box. Harris picked up a few tricks over the years but he never had a easy time of it.

cofe

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#76 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 10:32:38 am
a line of tangfastics leading across the plantation floor, then he simply pulls the string to drop the door when you're in? cunning, but humane.

SA Chris

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#77 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 10:43:38 am
I thought he went for the BA Baraccus / drink this glass of milk approach.

Johnny Brown

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#78 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 10:55:09 am
He usually posed as a child. What threw me was the child got younger every year.

Paul B

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#79 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 10:58:22 am

tommytwotone

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#80 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 11:20:53 am
...Let lime joy be universally embraced and JB placed in his tortoise box.

 ;D

I can confirm that a great session was had - my first session of peak limestone bouldering in over 10 years of climbing, I'd managed to avoid it until last night but I really enjoyed it!

cofe

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#81 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 11:22:45 am
my first session of peak limestone bouldering in over 10 years of climbing, I'd managed to avoid it until last night but I really enjoyed it!

http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/

;)

Jaspersharpe

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#82 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 11:24:32 am
You're swimming against an irreversible tide cofe.   ;D

webbo

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#83 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 11:26:32 am
maybe the tide will prevent more dead fish deposits.

cofe

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#84 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 11:26:50 am
i know i know, but i'm not going out* without a fight.

(* was going to type 'down' here, but that would have handed someone a gag on a silver platter.)

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#85 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 11:32:07 am
you damn right.

peak limestone is a lot like Dr Pepper - people are afraid to try it cos they're worried they might actually like it. Go on, whats the worst that can happen?

Fiend

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#86 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 11:52:31 am
Rotted teeth, the shakes, nervous twitches, loss of coordination, profuse sweating, messed up sleep patterns...

dave

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#87 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 11:58:51 am
exactly, although there are some downsides to it too.

Johnny Brown

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#88 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 12:00:35 pm
A lifelong curse, judging by Paul B?

Jaspersharpe

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#89 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 12:08:45 pm
That was contracted by selling his soul to climb 8B. On Grit!

tommytwotone

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#90 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 12:13:15 pm
That was contracted by selling his soul to climb 8B. On Grit!

Thank goodness for that - I was worried for a second there.


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#91 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 01:05:10 pm
Dear Diedre,

I have noticed that since yesterday's brush with the lime, I have an increased interest in looking at men's bottoms and have developed a tendency to exaggerate my facial expressions and intersperse my speech with phrases of polari; is this a normal consequence?

Yours mincingly,

Lagers

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#92 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 01:15:26 pm
Dear Lagers
                The only recommended treatment for this condition is to purchase a large truck and pickaxe.then when you next visit the lime hack away it with your pick.when you have enough lime to fill your truck,take it home to Sheffield and use it to fill all those potholes in the roads.As well as curing your condition it will save lots of wear and tear on your new bike.
                                                                        All the best
                                                                        Diedre

lagerstarfish

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#93 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 01:30:23 pm
Dear Diedre,
I have already filled in most of the potholes on my route to work using bones harvested from incompetent social care workers (took me almost a whole hour to meet enough suitable candidates). My problem now is trying to find a pick in a colour that matches my other accessories. The one's in Wickes are just soooo DRAB. Any suggestions on where to get one in pastel green or blue?

Thank you darling
Mwah

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#94 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 01:45:42 pm
Dear lagers

You've got it the wrong way round poor lamb. The lime is for basic macho manliness and power whereas the grit is the realm of sensitive gay finesse and foot faggotry.

I can only imagine that it's the exposure to such a masculine hetero environment that's uncovered your suppressed grit gayness.

I'd recommend further sessions of lime bouldering, driving around in a big truck, singing Eye Of The Tiger and staying away from Joe Picalli. You'll soon be back to normal lovey.

Russell Grant

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#95 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 01:50:07 pm

webbo

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#96 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 03:21:23 pm
Dear Diedre,
I have already filled in most of the potholes on my route to work using bones harvested from incompetent social care workers (took me almost a whole hour to meet enough suitable candidates). My problem now is trying to find a pick in a colour that matches my other accessories. The one's in Wickes are just soooo DRAB. Any suggestions on where to get one in pastel green or blue?

Thank you darling
Mwah

Dear Lagers
The curse of incompetent social care workers.I'm shocked to find this has spread from East Yorkshire into South yorkshire.I'm in agreement that burying them is the only answer.As for pastel picks I can recommend your local Laura Ashley store they have a good range of lime destroying equipment.I would always avoid piccalilli where ever possible and stick to branston or gherkins.
Yours in the kitchen.
Delilah Smith

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#97 Re: calling of the lime
April 17, 2009, 11:16:30 pm
It is recorder in the lore of The Caller that if a child were to be born at the Tor and that child bore the mark “HFF” (Hands for Feet) on their crown that they would be the 2nd coming (of Moffatt). The child would inherit the finest traits of those few that have given to the Tor without compromise. Namely but not exclusively:

the youthful keenness of Sharples
the ability to find a new line on any old bit of rock (Pretty)
the ego of Moffatt
the unrequited love & devotion to the Pinches Wall (Harris)
the staticness of Smith
the talent of finding the hardest possible sequence (Moon)
the ruthlessness to down grade all new routes (Barker & Welford)
the facial hair of Fawcett (a bit unfortunate if it's a lass)
the bat hanging magnificence of McClure

If a child were to be conceived at the Tor then that would just be a bit wrong and both parties should be ashamed of theirselves.

As for pulling a sword from my cleft or blowing my horn, i don't know whether to be flattered or disgusted :-\

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#98 Re: calling of the lime
April 21, 2009, 04:38:02 pm
DOB stop getting scared soloing sweaty severes, unleash your sword and cut through all the ambiguity and despair. I've still got sunburn from North Wales on the weekend, the grit is radianting heat and making me feel ill when I'm near it, surely the calling is calling to you??

dobbin

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#99 Re: calling of the lime
April 21, 2009, 05:03:26 pm
That was a one off. I can let you in to a secret, I will attempt an inspection tomorrow eve. Rest assured if it is time the call will be made.

 

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