[SA Chris]

Aye, a futile gesture to placate the masses. Would rather the money went to decreasing the defecit and easing austerity measures than getting a few bob in junk shares.

[Jaspersharpe]

There should be a referendum on it. Oh no hang on.....

[slackline]

I nominate people who can't read and understand signs that say "Fire Door. Keep Shut" and insist on wedging the fucking things open. 

[SA Chris]

Would rather the money went to decreasing the defecit

  that's a very scatological typo, Chris.

Shit.

[SA Chris]

Even the works of Toto Coelo (related?) are more profound. (youtube it if you weren't around in the early 80s).

[peewee]

A bit off the current topic but i think the mazuma mobile and webuyanycar adverts have a place reserved in hell for them.

[Jaspersharpe]

Still we might all have (pretty worthless) shares in them.

Seems like a pretty good idea to me. If HM Gov gives you some, I'd hang on to them for the long-haul OR emigrate. If Lloyds can't rebuild its business from current levels, then by association the country is also fucked, since Lloyds has a vast share of the UK's mortgages and deposits.

You're not going to get rich off your 1/45,000,000th of 41% of the increase above 74p per share of the value of Lloyds though are you?

Also, wait til The Fail finds out that the idea is to give the shares to everyone on the electoral roll. So, not just people who paid tax then.......?

Run for cover Clegg! 

[slackline]

"Staff Review & Development Schemes" and all such bullshit activities which waste the time of everyone involved should definitely be consigned to here.

I want a job not a career!

[SA Chris]

Which "hit" are you referring to? They had a few.

[pabs]

I'd like to make my debut offering to this thread the collected works of Paulo Coelho. Actually I have only read The Alchemist but I am confident the rest deserve the same scorn. Actually I haven't read The Alchemist either as near the end the ceaseless tide of whimsical idiocy so threatened my sanity that I feared I would squander the rest of days living in yurt in a New Mexico, hoarding crystals and hunting leylines whilst upsetting the wildlife with arrhythmic drumming on my bongos. Since then I have noticed a perfect correlation between fans of the Coelho'nsense and irredeemable stupidity. The man has almost 6 million fans on Facebook. That's really fucking scary.

Hope that didn't offend anyone ...

I once read a bit of one of his books by mistake and it engendered in me a fierce desire to hunt the author
down to the ends of the earth and punch the soppy twat in the gob.

[GraemeA]

People who rent out 35m x 35m inflatable tents without seemingly having a clue how to make them. In you go

(Anyone who has driven past Millhouses Park in the last couple of days might understand my displeasure)

[Jaspersharpe]

Yeah so based on your figures, if the government held on to the shares that would be £81bn for the country over 5 years. Or £16.2bn per year............

I thought we were trying to reduce the deficit. This still sounds* like a shit idea.

*haven't actually read any details about it!

[DaveC]

My mrs has asked me to dump all Australian men and most of the women in here. She sums up the former as a pack of sexist, racist ingrates so into the sound of their own and each others voices that they must all really be gay. Actually, she thinks the women are exactly the same....!

PS I wish I'd recorded the rant I copped when she got in from work last night! 

[Bobling]

This morning's nomination is those who sit on the inside seat (of two) on a packed bus/train carriage, reserving the window seat for their imaginary friend.  In you go you selfish wankers.

[SA Chris]

Agree. Or reserve the seat for their handbag or satchel.

[slackline]

Unsavoury behaviour indeed, but could you not just ask to sit down?

[Plattsy]

but could you not just ask to sit down?

This morning's nomination is those who sit on the inside seat (of two) on a packed bus/train carriage, reserving the window seat for their imaginary friend.  In you go you selfish wankers.

Seen this on my travels and people just ask the person if they can pass them to sit in the window seat. Usually met with an obliging response. All very civilised. Here we don't ask and just complain about it after.....

[Jaspersharpe]

When I used to get the bus to work (1hr+ each way) I always put my bag on the seat next to me as it discouraged the schoolkids / stinking fat peasants / smoking chavs from sitting there unless as a last resort. Of course, if someone asked, I moved it but the technique certainly made for a more pleasant journey on many occasions.

Here we don't ask and just complain about it after.....

Exactly. People don't like to talk to each other so play the system. 

[tomtom]

I get around the issue by only travelling on the bus/train after not washing for two weeks and ensuring I am wearing some repeatedly soiled undergarments.

Funnily enough no one wants to be my fwend and sit next to me then :/

[Bobling]

but could you not just ask to sit down?

This morning's nomination is those who sit on the inside seat (of two) on a packed bus/train carriage, reserving the window seat for their imaginary friend.  In you go you selfish wankers.

Seen this on my travels and people just ask the person if they can pass them to sit in the window seat. Usually met with an obliging response. All very civilised. Here we don't ask and just complain about it after.....

Indeed you can just ask to sit down, and I do and have never been refused.  You would think people would work out that that seat next to them might come in useful for one of the 20 people swaying around in the carriage and do the decent thing before being asked though?   

[tomtom]

I usually use the Sharpe 'maintain personal space and avoid nut jobs on the train seat strategy' too, but when its obvious there are no (or only a couple) of seats left in the carriage I put my bag away so theres obviously space... bag poker....

[slackline]

You would think people would work out that that seat next to them might come in useful for one of the 20 people swaying around in the carriage and do the decent thing before being asked though?

When I used to get the bus to work (1hr+ each way) I always put my bag on the seat next to me as it discouraged the schoolkids / stinking fat peasants / smoking chavs from sitting there unless as a last resort. Of course, if someone asked, I moved it but the technique certainly made for a more pleasant journey on many occasions.

They're fucking with you on purpose Bobling! 

[tommytwotone]

I usually use the Sharpe 'maintain personal space and avoid nut jobs on the train seat strategy' too, but when its obvious there are no (or only a couple) of seats left in the carriage I put my bag away so theres obviously space... bag poker....

I'd heard that the best way to 100% ensure a free space next to you on the train / bus is sit on the window seat, and then as your potential travelling companion approaches, look them straight in the eye with a wide grin on your face and gently pat your hand on the spare seat....

[Jaspersharpe]

 

On the return trip I regularly used the "drink two cans of lager during the journey" technique which was effective for ensuring some personal space and also made the whole sorry experience more pleasant.

[grumpycrumpy]

I nominate people who can't read and understand signs that say "Fire Door. Keep Shut" and insist on wedging the fucking things open. 

I have to admit that I do this ....... But when you're carrying heavy lumps of scenery into a building having to put them down , pick them up ad inffuckingnitum because of fucking fire doors wedging them   open is the only way forward ..... Into room 101 with all  the fuckers who decide to hold events in inappropriate venues ...... And every architect who designs a conference centre and doesn't take into account that you need to get a forty foot truck into the loading bay ...... Wankers , every manjack of them ......