[Paul B]

A load of those fucking stupid lanterns floated over our way the other evening. One landed in our garden and I noticed it had "Just Married" written on it. "How sweet" I didn't think. Cunts.

there was some guy selling them in town from a little stand. What a cvnt eh!

and that professor brian cox, he lit one once, I saw!

[SA Chris]

Horse owners not picking up horseshit in woodlands, surely just as minging, or more so, as dogshit?

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

Horse owners not picking up horseshit in woodlands, surely just as minging, or more so, as dogshit?

Erm.

Actually, no.
[science]


Horse dung is largely harmless. And it can be used as fertilizer on, say, roses.

Dog eggs, however, are dangerous and toxic.

[/science]

[SA Chris]

Still made a fucking mess of my shoes and the pram wheels.

How come its dangerous and toxic btw?

[dave]

flying paper lanterns - what on earth are you thinking? ooh aren't they pretty floating away into the night to end tangled in a branch somewhere.

Not to mention setting fire to farmers' fields etc.

[Fiend]

Flying lanterns are cool and pretty 

(we set loads off over London, specifically to minimise crop fires and animal deaths)

[Bonjoy]

flying paper lanterns - what on earth are you thinking? ooh aren't they pretty floating away into the night to end tangled in a branch somewhere.

Don't you know the rule? It doesn't count as litter if you can't see where it lands.



I'm sure it's been done on this thread several times before, but discarded dogshit bags, why!? Was up on a hill, miles from the road and still found a small bag of poo hung on a branch. For fuck's sake, if you're not going to take it home, why bag the shit in the first place! Said excreta would no doubted have rotted down long ago, but is now preserved in perpetuity on an elder branch for reasons beyond my ken. 

Also, pedestrian crossings where the traffic is stopped for 5 minutes but the green man doesn't come on automatically, because the button hasn't been pressed. Why?! The traffic is being held in place for several minutes, so why not have the pedestrian crossing go green? Instead you either have to stand like an idiot for minutes infront of stationary traffic waiting, or dive out into three lanes of traffic not knowing when they will start moving again.

[Monolith]

Bonjoy, this dogshit bag conundrum has riddled me for a long time. I'd love to meet one of these people and quiz them about it. Like, what is the reasoning? If anyone has ever done this on here, take this as a dogshit confessional amnesty to talk on the matter. You will not be judged.

[Paul B]

Whilst I love a good rant its worth noting that they're (or the ones being sold in town) 100% biodegradable.
That does nothing to offset the potential fire risk, although do they actually land on fire, they steam off into the sky powered by the candle, surely gravity only starts to win once the candle has gone out?

[Percy B]

As regards the dog poo bag hanging off a tree conundrum, as a dog owner I often walk past these and have spent some time pondering the inponderables. My theory is this - in many (but not all cases) you set off walking your dog, and the first thing Fido does on his walk is find a convenient place for a poo. This normally occurs within 10 minutes of your walk starting. If you are one of the folks who always picks up and bags your dogs turd (even if your dog is out in open country and hasn't shat anywhere near a path) then your options are to continue the next 50 mins of your walk carrying a bag of shit, or you can hang it up somewhere where you will see it on your return and thus carry it off to a bin somewhere. I think, or would hope that many of these dog-shite tree decorations are mearly temporary, but its only a theory.
The whole concept of hermetically sealing poo in plastics bags is nuts anyway. Just train your dogs to shite somewhere off the beaten track.

[SA Chris]

I had that as a theory too Percy, but it fell down when i used to walk past the same bags of poo hanging in the same place (well pretty sure they were the same -I didn't do a full forensic examination) several days in a row. I guess some of the folk who hang them up are "forgetful" and wander past on the way home

[tomtom]

Royal Weddings.

Nuff said.

[SA Chris]

Idiots who try and use umbrellas in gale force wind and rain. Why not just stab it straight in my eye, then stomp on it until it breaks and then throw it in the bin. Save yourself a lot of hassle and bother.  Then buy decent raincoat.

[tomtom]

Valentines day....

[jern]

Valentines day....

Hearing you on that one! Fortunately, so does my missus

[slackline]

Valentines day....

  although thankfully my missus has an evening class so I can still go bouldering as usual 

[Jaspersharpe]

Valentines day....

Hearing you on that one! Fortunately, so does my missus

Yup. It's a total sack of shit but my Mrs isn't into it either so not a big problem.

[Mike Tyson]

  to resurrect this thread, but if I ever meet the person/s who thought the current Halifax adverts were a great idea, I'll break their noses. I have never harboured such pent up rage in all my life!

Wankers 

[fatdoc]

best resurrection ever, give me a week or so & the angry old man in me will  be fully loaded.

[tomtom]

to resurrect this thread, but if I ever meet the person/s who thought the current Halifax adverts were a great idea, I'll break their noses. I have never harboured such pent up rage in all my life!

Wankers 

Yea, car keys cnut should be have his eyes gouged out with a blunt rusty spoon thats been used to muck out a cow shed.

But I wonder if there is some dark power at play with those adverts. Is it just me or is there subliminal tones lingering in these adverts - so one day they'll run one where the woman in the tank top is being boned doggy style over the desk by the car keys wanker to the 'yeah yeah yeah' music...

At least the bald four eyed singing dancing cock biscuit has disapeared..

Dont we (UK PLC) own the Halifax anyway?

[Mike Tyson]

Whilst I'm on the subject, H O T W I R E, hotwire.com?! Get to fuck!

Funky pigeon.com,  somebody kill me now! 

[Jaspersharpe]

Dont we (UK PLC) own the Halifax anyway?

Yep. Halifax = HBOS = Lloyds Banking Group = OWNED. They still do what they like of course.

[SA Chris]

.....including paying out fat bonuses without us shareholders giving approval.

Cunts

[slackline]

Still we might all have (pretty worthless) shares in them.

[Jaspersharpe]

That's a shit idea. Placate people with a pointless dividend / gain of (e.g.) £10 instead of adding £450m of much needed cash to the pot. A stupid gesture (which will no doubt be lapped up by the mong majority).