[erm, sam]

you didn't miss much

[aLICErOBERTSfANkLUB]

Brian Moore the football commentator was absolutely fucking useless but he's been dead for the best part of ten years so I think it would be a bit harsh to dig him up now and throw his decomposed corpse into Room 101.

Oh arse - some one will be telling me that Nelson Mandela has been released from prison next...   

Nelson Mandela's been jailed?

[philo]

mick McCarthy the most boring dry bastard ever to commentate on a game of football ever.  In you go you bent nosed cunt

[Mike Tyson]

I would like to add not being able to execute a sleep in, even when you have had it authorised and your not at work. 8am I woke this morning, and was completely unable to get back to sleep. Twat! 

[GCW]

Working on the assumption that you'd have slept until 12 anyway, it gives you a 4 hour wondow to get out and boulder 

[Mike Tyson]

I like your logic! If only I wasnt an injured punter 

Might drag the family to the chowderstone later and see how the injury holds up.

[slackline]

Royal Mail can't get to the back of Room 101 for being stupid cnuts.

Attempted delivery of package addressed to my wife made on the 1st July.

Went down to collect it with my photo driving license which includes my home address (unsurprisingly the same postal address as my wife).

"Sorry you need to have the adressee's proof of identity, something like another letter addressed to her".

1. A letter is NOT proof of identification.

2. This is inconsistent with the procedure that happens on the door step, because I had I opened the door to accept the initial delivery I wouldn't have had to have provided any ID of my wife's it would have been implicitly assumed that I lived there and my signature accepted, no questions asked.  Providing photographic ID with my name and address on it proves that I live at the same address as my wife (I also happened to be picking up a parcel addressed to myself at the same time which I was given).

3. Its possible (although unlikely) that my wife could have dropped her purse with the card in the street and any other random person could have walked in and collected the parcel as the suggested ID that has to be provided by the person collecting it is "identity such as passport or bank card." and does NOT prove that you live at the same address as the recipient.

When the fuck did this change, I've collected items for my wife before and only had to provide evidence that I live at the address.  What fucking stupid idiot cunting wanker came up with this dumbass idea   

[Jaspersharpe]

That is stupid. They seem to be completely inconsistent too as sometimes I've picked stuff up from there and they've not even asked for id, other times you need id / address / other person's id.

You can put City Link in too. Apparently they tried to deliver my new stereo yesterday at five to five, found there was no one in and put a card through the door.

Great except 1: My wife and son were in at five to five and 2: There was no card through the door.

So I call them and ask the bird to check that they definitely have the right address. She says she can't check but that the driver will have the full address and try to redeliver at some point before 17.30 today. Also, if it's not there by 15.00 to call her back.

WTF?! There's not a lot of point in him trying to redeliver it if he's going to the wrong fucking house although how he's managed to get it wrong I'm not sure as my correct address is on all the emails I've received from the supplier and from City Link themselves. It's not exactly difficult to find either as it's a terraced house with the number on the front.

We're surrounded by retards.

[slackline]

I've found Shitty Link to be pretty bad too, I think they sit in the van and wait for the curtains to twitch rather than getting off their lazy fat arses and knocking on the door.

[Jaspersharpe]

Call centre cannon fodder: "The driver said he put a card through a white door."

Me: "There's no card through the door and anyway my wife was in at the time."

Mong: "Well it's ok as he's redelivering it today."

Me: "Yeah but the concern is that he's going to the wrong address as he obviously hasn't tried to deliver it to my house the first time."

Can...only...read....from....script...: "Well if you haven't had anything by three o'clock then give us a call back."

Me: "?? Ok then, thanks ??"

 

[slackline]

Its amazing that so many people who work in the "service industry" would actually fail the Turing test as they are unable to demonstrate any ability to think rationally and for themselves beyond repeating the inane and plain stupid "script" that they are supposed to work to.  Is "ability to think independently" no longer a desirable trait in potential employees?

[dave]

I too had citylink claim to have attempted delivery (according tothe online tracking) yet they didn't leave a card and i was in at the time, i.e. They went to the wrong house but luckily noone was in. Probably the same dipshit driver working from the rotherham depot we all keep getting.

[Jaspersharpe]

........are a bunch of incompetent lying cocksuckers?

EDIT - You've made me look like a dick now by finishing your post.

[andy popp]

Yesterday attempting to take cheap pair of joggers daughter needed for school back to Asda because they'd been wrongly marked up size wise. Approach customer service desk.

Me: I just bought this an hour ago but they're the wrong size. Can I swap them?
Them: Have you got your receipt?
M: No, afraid I've lost it.
T: Sorry, you need proof of purchase. I'm afraid you'll need to buy another pair.
M: Fair enough (whatever, only cost £4). What shall I do with this pair (hold up first pair in my hand)? Shall I put them back on the rack?
T; No their yours
M: But I haven't got a receipt.
T: But we know their yours.
M: No you don't, that's the whole point.
 
General incomprehension at this line of thought ensues despite repeated attempts to explain.

M: So you can't exchange them but you're happy for me to walk out of the store with two pairs and proof of purchase for only one?
T: Well yes, theirs yours aren't they, etc. etc.

So that's what I did. I actually quite enjoyed this incident.

[slackline]

  Thats hilarious, should have tried walking out with some other shit too, and just pointed the security guard to the twat!

[Paul B]

We had the same kind of issue in the Carrefour near Melun. Bought a campingaz lantern but it was the wrong fit so went back to exchange it. Went to the customer service desk with said lantern and tried to explain. What ensued was lots of people on Roller skates zipping around and security guards being called as we didn't have the reciept.

I can't remember what happend after that but I'm pretty sure we don't own a lantern.

[Jaspersharpe]

A likely story. Thief! 

[GraemeA]

Michael Gove, our new Minister for Education. Get in there you slimey little shite.

And having seen how the Libs are doing in our wonderful Coalition I am tempted to send all you anti-Tory LibDem voters into the room of despair. The Tory fuckers are doing what we all expected and Clegg & Co are giving them a reach around. Grrrr.

[mrjonathanr]

Every single poster on this thread:
http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/t.php?n=416210&v

[GraemeA]

Every single poster on this thread:
http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/t.php?n=416210&v

Except, perhaps the one who posted this "I hear all the chippys in Northumberland will remain closed, so there will be no fishies on the dishies till the moat comes in..."

[DaveC]

Every single poster on this thread:
http://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/t.php?n=416210&v

Except, perhaps the one who posted this "I hear all the chippys in Northumberland will remain closed, so there will be no fishies on the dishies till the moat comes in..."

I'd let Clare off for the suitably tongue-in-cheek/sarcastic first reply as well :
"I reckon there's probably a whole branch of the police dedicated to perusing forums for tips and tricks about the best way to do things."

[benpritch]

disposable barbecues and flying paper lanterns - what a total waste of the worlds resources.

disposable barbecues - usually left behind ( disposable not discardable you fuckwits ) and burning a neat square in the grass.

flying paper lanterns - what on earth are you thinking? ooh aren't they pretty floating away into the night to end tangled in a branch somewhere.

[Jaspersharpe]

A load of those fucking stupid lanterns floated over our way the other evening. One landed in our garden and I noticed it had "Just Married" written on it. "How sweet" I didn't think. Cunts.

[tomtom]

A load of those fucking stupid lanterns floated over our way the other evening. One landed in our garden and I noticed it had "Just Married" written on it. "How sweet" I didn't think. Cunts.

Bah. 

[Bubba]

They cause crop fires and animal deaths (from swallowing the wire frame). Not a good idea at all.