[Zods Beard]

When you see something moving out of the corner of your eye, look, and realize it's a fuck off big spider. Start hyper-ventilating until you've trapped it under a glass. Slide a piece of paper underneath and then throw it out the window. Breathe a huge sigh of relief, then look at glass to realize it's still on the glass, bearing down on your hand. Scream like a girl, drop and smash glass, and lose track of spider, thus making sure you won't be able to sleep due to paranoia. Sweep up glass mumbling to one's self.

These moments should be put straight in.

[GCW]

Spiders are fantastic, no way can they go into Room 101.  Certainly not friendly, non-deadly, UK house spiders.

[Jim]

how about that cunt kid rock or what ever his name is with his shite rock cut up track. Every time I hear it on the radio I think awesome a bit of warren zevon, but no its that turd head instead

[Johnny Brown]

Ditto.

[dave]

The current fad for wearing beanies kinda half-on/half-off the back of the head, generally by the west street/eccy road fashion drones.

[lagerstarfish]

Pale, skinny, ginger haired teenage boys from South Yorkshire who insist on speaking like they are streetwise grownups of afro-caribean extraction living in south London - who also try to speak like they are from South Central Los Angeles in the next sentence. They should go in 101.

Although I have touched knuckles as a greeting and farewell gesture with such people recently, I did so only because I was at work and so was obliged to make these people feel comfortable in my presence.

[Munkii]

The current fad for wearing beanies kinda half-on/half-off the back of the head, generally by the west street/eccy road fashion drones.

 
makes them look like the hat is way too big for them and they just look like prats.

[Houdini]

This is nowhere near as bad as youths walking like penguins because they've belted their trousers tightly across their mid-thigh.

[Will Hunt]

People who constantly and unrelentingly drum on any available surface.

[Houdini]

Yes Jasper, Tesco's must definitely enter Room 101.

Their wine buying and pricing policy is retarded and is really getting on my tits. 

[Jim]

Working night shifts. I getting too old for this shit now

[Munkii]

M&S

slimply coz its not just crap... its M&S crap.

[Danger]

-The A17

-Anything and everything with ‘celebrity’ in the title (except celebrity deathmatch)

-The DVLA - the most disorganised, money and time wasting bunch of fuckwits I have ever dealt with.

-Jade Goody

-‘News’ coverage by BBC1, ITV, Radio 1 or Sky

-(my) sweaty hands

[DaveC]

Can I throw in parents who inflict really fucked up names on their kids? The girl on the checkout at our local supermarket yesterday was apparently named "Afrodity"! Oh dear.

[GCW]

Not as bad as Candida or Melena. 

[andy_e]

How about Apple? I mean, come on, she's not a fucking computer!

[philo]

id like to put into room 101 my local tennis centre for charging 16 pound per hour in winter "peak times" that finish in April...
since when is April winter

[SA Chris]

how about that cunt kid rock or what ever his name is with his shite rock cut up track. Every time I hear it on the radio I think awesome a bit of warren zevon, but no its that turd head instead

I think that's the third independent nomination - he must be in by now. They played that turd on the radio again this morning, I had forgotten how much I detest it. The lyrics are fucking hilarious though, can you believe it took him more than 5 minutes to write it. From the Nickelback school of songwriting.

[Bubba]

That song is truly horrible.

[Houdini]

-Jade Goody

I will personally oversee her execution.  I'll video it.

[butters]

The girl on the checkout at our local supermarket yesterday was apparently named "Afrodity"! Oh dear.

Was that really how it was spelt Dave? I can almost accept that someone would think to name their daughter after the Greek Goddess of Love but to fuck up the spelling that badly is just criminal in the extreme.

bluebrad

[Danger]

-Jade Goody

I will personally oversee her execution.  I'll video it.

And send it to Al Jazeera?

[lagerstarfish]

-Jade Goody

I will personally oversee her execution.  I'll video it.

And send it to Al Jazeera?

I think the general religeous guidelines under which Al Jazeera moderate the content of their broadcasts would prohibit any mention of the offensive Pig Faced Woman, let alone any actual video footage of her. Maybe just some scenes of the crowd celebrating?

[dave]

collegues who aways respond to someone being off sick with the line "theres something going around at the moment".

[Jaspersharpe]

I know we've pretty much covered bad driving but I've got to nominate the CUNT in a blue Audi estate (think it was an A4 but it was all over in seconds) who came within inches of killing me and my mate on the way back from Curbar on Friday. Rounding a bend on the way to Owler Bar for a split second my brain didn't compute what was happening but knew that something was seriously wrong. I realised in the same moment that it was the fact that a car was heading straight for us on our side of the road as it overtook a lorry on a totally blind bend. I was doing about 50 and managed to slow down to 20 in a second or so (thank you VW) and the CUNT just made it past the lorry and passed us by what felt like not very much at all. Luckily the car behind me (that had been annoying me by driving too close) managed to take similar evasive action or it could still have been quite messy. I've had a few near misses before but this was by far the closest and as the CUNT was doing at least 70 I can only imagine the result if any variable had been altered by a second or two. Perhaps the worst thing is that there are loads of safe places to pass a slow moving vehicle on that road so WHY THE FUCK risk your worthless life (and MUCH more importantly mine) attempting such a stupid "I own the fucking road" manoeuvre?

Into Room 101 where you will repeatedly die a slow and painful death in the burning remains of your Audi while listening to Alastair Stuart shouting "Look at THIS idiot!" on a loop. You CUNT.