Students surveying the sheep shagging habits of farmers around the UK. They have surveyed Wales and England and always get the same response. Their last stop is a remote area of Scotland. They survey a farmer and ask what his technique is. He says "Sheep's back feet in the wellies and front feet over my shoulders." The survey guys look puzzled and say "that's odd, every other farmer in the UK has said they put the back feet in the wellies and front feet over a wall"."What?!?!!" says the farmer. "And miss out on all the kissing?"
A farmer in Devon has successfully grown a field full of dildos. Unfortunately he's having terrible trouble with squatters.