[webbo]

my god you need emergency psychotherapy.

How does that work? "tell me about your childhood... NOW!"

i'm afraid that i would have to charge you in order to explain.do you want me to book you in.

[lagerstarfish]

Two nights in a row trying to catch a serial killer who is basing his methods and choice of victims on lyrics by Sting/The Police. Long and detailed recollection of these dreams. Details can be bought for price of a pint.

Must watch less US TV.

I can only hope that in the next episode Sting gets his tongue cut off and is then tied up and raped by a man dressed as Mr Logic (de do do do, de da da da reference)

[SA Chris]

I dreamt the other night I was climbing something big in the Alps with my friend Mark (who I used to do regular alpine trips with, but haven't spoken to in a while). As we were nearing the top Johnny Brown and Cofe came up behind us on the last pitch, tried to overtake us and went off route (JB was leading). JB was wearing a thermal top and moaning about being cold and wanting to get into the sun and Cofe was wearing a winter jacket and moaning about being too hot and wanting to stay in the shade.

I topped out at the summit of the peak and JB topped out a dozen or so metres away and when I started belaying he said he was on the true summit, and I was on a lower one. When I pointed out the trig beacon I was belaying off and the bolt studs in the ground he said that if there were bolt studs the summit had been compromised and he was choosing to ignore it.

Fucked up.

[Will Hunt]

he said that if there were bolt studs the summit had been compromised and he was choosing to ignore it.

Amazing 

[Falling Down]

I had a dream last night about Martin Daley, Jimmy Saville and Michael Gira of The Swans in a caravan. 

[andy popp]

Holy Mother of God Ben!

[underground]

I had a dream last night about Martin Daley, Jimmy Saville and Michael Gira of The Swans in a caravan. 

  OMG!!!

Mart's the disturbing part of that trio 

[Falling Down]

Ahh that's mean Jim!

[Johnny Brown]

 

Johnny Brown and Cofe came up behind us on the last pitch, tried to overtake us and went off route (JB was leading). JB was wearing a thermal top and moaning about being cold and wanting to get into the sun and Cofe was wearing a winter jacket and moaning about being too hot and wanting to stay in the shade.

I topped out at the summit of the peak and JB topped out a dozen or so metres away and when I started belaying he said he was on the true summit, and I was on a lower one. When I pointed out the trig beacon I was belaying off and the bolt studs in the ground he said that if there were bolt studs the summit had been compromised and he was choosing to ignore it

Amazing! Doesn't sound like me at all that, though. 

I too am disturbed by the thought of Martin Daley in a caravan.

[fatboySlimfast]

I had a dream last night about Martin Daley, Jimmy Saville and Michael Gira of The Swans in a caravan. 

good god

[lagerstarfish]

Vivid dream last night - I was sport climbing with Jasper and Ondra. Crag was Gordale, but sandstone. Ondra said he was never climbing anywhere else again. Jasper was giving him the beta for everything and they were banging on about how great the crimps were.

there were Heiniken bottles on the ground

I found myself abbing off the top of the gorge to strip some routes using my first fig 8 descender - wearing my old Lowe Alpine rucksack which was very heavy. I wasn't wearing a chest harness, so staying upright while swinging in to remove the clips was hard work. I felt the pain/effort involved - this is probably because my back and core do actually ache.

very realistic

[lagerstarfish]

interesting dream last night -  bouldering with Annie Lennox at The Plantation

she had really good lank beta on everything - and hands like Ron

[Oldmanmatt]

interesting dream last night -  bouldering with Annie Lennox at The Plantation

she had really good lank beta on everything - and hands like Ron

Was it 1984?

[lagerstarfish]

no; she was old - still smiley and cool though

[tomtom]

It's clearly a frustration dream - at being incapable of Sandbagging 'Dolly the un-hustleable'

[nai]

He is a bit of a thorn in my side, Dolly.  Don't ask me why

[SA Chris]

interesting dream last night -  bouldering with Annie Lennox at The Plantation

she had really good lank beta on everything - and hands like Ron

Sounds sweet. Who am I to disagree?

[Nibile]

Ha! I'd forgotten about this thread!

[Nibile]

I bet she climbed with good rhythm.

[Oldmanmatt]

I bet she climbed with good rhythm.

Like an Angel, playing with his heart...

[Johnny Brown]

For once in my life I'm glad I wasn't at the plantation that day. Lennox is 'kin awful. I'll give Stewart a sarky nod for inspiring Doug Rocket, but that's it.

[Oldmanmatt]

For once in my life I'm glad I wasn't at the plantation that day. Lennox is 'kin awful. I'll give Stewart a sarky nod for inspiring Doug Rocket, but that's it.

How dare you!

I mean, sod the music, some of her stage outfits were critically acclaimed by many teenage boys of my generation.

Well...


Mainly the lack of outfit...

[the_dom]

I had a dream last night about Martin Daley, Jimmy Saville and Michael Gira of The Swans in a caravan. 

Good lord.

[SA Chris]

For once in my life I'm glad I wasn't at the plantation that day. Lennox is 'kin awful. I'll give Stewart a sarky nod for inspiring Doug Rocket, but that's it.

How dare you. Aberdeen's finest musician.

Well with the Shamen, Sandi Thom and Emeli Sandi, there's not a load of competition.

[lagerstarfish]

I have a lot of long detailed dreams. I only post about the ones that I think are of interest to UKB folk.

Some dreams leave me wondering about them for a few days.

The people at Black Dog Club encouraged me to write this one up.

Background - in real life I have been re-reading Edward Whymper's Scrambles Amongst The Alps. I have always likes his chapter about the Aosta Valley. In that chapter he talks about the prevalence of cretinism and goitres in the region (as well as some interesting stuff about receding glaciers).

About goitres he says

"In France, Italy and Switzerland it is an advantage to be goitred, as it secures exemption from military service. A goitre is a thing to be prized, exhibited, preserved - it is worth so much hard cash; and it is an unquestionable fact that the perpetuation of the great goitrous family is assisted by this very circumstance"

He goes on further to explain that attempts to treat goitrous children with iodine were hindered by parents' efforts to "preserve the privilege of exemption from military service" .

Whymper clearly sees this as being unfair and proposes that this exemption from military service be removed and all goitrous people capable of bearing arms be drafted into the army and "formed into regiments by themselves, brigaded together and commanded by cretins."

He's pretty enthusiastic about this. "Think what esprit de corps they would have! Who could stand against them? Who would understand their tactics?.... The subject is worthy of serious attention."

That's really in the book - I've checked

Now - my dream

In my dream someone had recently found some old papers that showed that such a regiment was actually formed after somebody in the Swiss (might have been French) army had read Whymper's ramblings. It was on the news (radio 4, obviously).

Following this, Fiend (yes, our Fiend) created a whole series of little model soldiers with goitres and started marketing them - The Goitred Battalion. He based the cretin commanders on Whymper's drawing "A Cretin of Aosta" (google it).

They were great little models of suitably disfigured 19th century peasants with shabby, ill fitting uniforms and an assortment of weapons. The paintwork was exquisite.

These models were a commercial success.

The problems came when people objected to what they saw as making fun of people's disabilities. The ensuing shitstorm was on the news (radio 4 and Guardian). People were campaigning for Fiend to be prosecuted and the models to be destroyed.

A second attack came from a group of people known as Derbyshire Neck (the group was called this and so were the individuals). They didn't want the models destroyed, but did want some payment for having similar goitres to those on the models and further payment for loss of earnings (I don't understand this bit).

Fiend valiantly defended himself with offensive language, claiming that he was celebrating disability in the past, and model fans came to his aid with messages of support.

It was discussed in parliament.

I woke up due to the anxiety of observing all the arguing.

I can still picture the models.